VSGAnn2014

I do that, too, sometimes -- give myself "a strong talking to." What's continuously amazing to me (at nearly 2 years post-op) is how much easier it is to lose a couple of pounds when I go over the line and how much more dedicated I am these days to losing those couple of pounds so it doesn't turn into a lot more before I freak out. I've never ever in my life been this disciplined before about my weight. But then I have never before had so many good tools (including my sleeve) to help me be this disciplined. This time it's not about being perfect. And it's REALLY not about being guilty or feeling any shame. Holding my own weight-wise and getting even healthier simply feels rational. The crazy really does feel like it's gone. I hope it really is gone.

I know people who offer serve as coaches for issues like this that affect people's professional opportunities / outcomes. Honestly, the only way to change that stuff is to change very specific behaviors -- like making eye contact, smiling, saying hello and nodding to folks in the hallway, standing up straighter, leading with your chin (not your forehead) -- the list of these behaviors is long. It's sort of like athletic practice / coaching. Admittedly, introverts and extroverts do NOT enjoy the same kinds of interpersonal connections with other people. I am definitely an extrovert. You might be an introvert. If you are, you'd probably rather go to work, do your job, go home and never have to have to stand up and make a presentation EVER while you're there. On the other hand, there are plenty of introverts who've learned how to behave like fake-extroverts. I'm certainly not saying you should be something that you're not and don't want to be. Also, please don't let some random co-worker tell you how you should behave. Yeah, that's ridiculous. But if you think there are changes YOU would like to make, feel free to be specific with yourself about what those changes are. And then experiment -- just try 'em out. For instance, I wore something this morning in public that would have been VERY far out of my comfort zone before I lost 100 pounds -- and nobody died. (I'll keep the details to myself for now. )

Hmmm ... didn't understand that the original thread had been deleted. I didn't know the joint was getting that straight-laced. @@Alex Brecher ?

There are several things about your post that make me think you deserve the benefit of a good therapist who can help you address your eating issues now. It's not altogether about "will power." But it does require you to have some different go-to habits and perspectives that can keep you from overeating whenever the mood or the food or the occasion or the company or your mama's recipe or the emotion or the stress-of-the-day prompt you to overeat. You don't have to be the prisoner of those things anymore. But only you can free yourself from that prison. And for those who are in the throes of Post-Op Honeymoon Heaven, please know that your brand-new restriction won't always prevent you from over-eating. Yes it will discourage you. But your restriction a year from now or two or three or four or five years from now will discourage you a lot less than it does now. It's not because your stomach will "stretch," but you'll experience WLS fatigue and, if you're determined to do so, learn to eat around your sleeve. I won't bore you with all the ways you can do that. But boy, can you!

@@gowalking -- your post and your photos are making again the point I made earlier: This place is FULL of beautiful people on the inside and out. Thank you for sharing those pix. I'd seen two of them, but not the middle one. What a wonderful transformation you've gone through / are going through. I completely agree with you that the changes we go through are complex and challenging.

Yeah, the thread did take a different turn. Theads do that sometimes. And no, I haven't yet heard of a WLS support group that's a hook-up spot. But I don't doubt it happens. Who "flagged" him? And since he apparently didn't have any notice he was "flagged," chances are he wasn't. Reporting a post doesn't necessarily mean the forum moderator found any merit in the report or complaint.

@@MissB1982 -- I have a girl crush on you. You're so smart.

Gosh! You're so cute! And that's such a lot of weight you've lost! Great job.

@@WitchySar -- I told my husband and two close friends. Obviously, my PCP, his nurse, my bariatric surgeon, his team, and my shrink know. That's all. My family doesn't know. Other good friends don't know. Clients don't know. Random strangers don't know. I couldn't be happier with this approach. This approach allowed me to focus on me and my needs, not on others' issues. Final comment: There are a lot of people out there who can go crazy and and become quite abusive when you do something THEY don't understand or agree with. And as we all know you can't fix crazy. I also didn't want to have to listen to anyone's crazy.

Small reality adjustment coming at you here for those who have recently been sleeved. Below are my weight loss stats for the first four months post-op: Month 1 -10.4 pounds Month 2 -11.8 pounds Month 3 -9.2 pounds Month 4 -10.4 pounds Then things slowed down. Yet here I am today -- 100 pounds lighter and maintaining at 135 pounds. Guys, this isn't about how fast you can lose, but about learning how to change your life and your lifestyle in a way that will support your health and a healthy weight for the rest of your life. THAT should be your WLS goal. Good luck to you all.

I know you don't want "nay-saying," but I've had some experience with what you are thinking of doing that I'd like to share with you. Twice in my lifetime I did long (4-6 months long) Optifast diets. Those are diets during which you drink Protein shakes 3 times a day, while eating no solid food at all. I lost a lot of weight both times (50-70 pounds). And when I started eating food again I gained weight faster than you could believe it was possible to regain weight. For me, there was something about there being no transition between the two kinds of eating plans that spun me out of control within 24 hours each time. In contrast, one aspect I loved about the WLS post-op weight loss eating transitions was that I went gradually from liquid to purees to soft to chewing food. Those transitions back into "real live eating" were just perfect for me. I didn't feel deprived during any of those phases. My two cents' worth. Good luck to you.

Oh, Daisee! You're going to get compliments anyway. You are a stunner, my dear! And that gorgeous hair of yours. What a great color. Interestingly, you look pretty much the way I've always imagined you look. Maybe it's the "Daisee" name and your beautiful smile. I bet if we had a group photo taken, it would be absolutely gorgeous of us all -- whether we're at goal yet or not. The combined inner and outer beauty of the people I've met here in this virtual room feels pretty staggering. Thanks to all of you who have posted your pix. I'm still on the down-low, so won't post my photos. But I am so pleased with how my looks have changed for the better in the last few years. It's been pretty amazing. Yes, I know we've all made much of our own good luck, but aren't we lucky people! EDIT: P.S. I honestly do NOT think you do look too thin. These new looks of ours take a while to get used to.

Here's my "knees and WLS testimony." I had WLS at 68 years of age. My knees were a complete mess -- especially the right one. The most I could bend them was a 45 degree angle. For years, my knee x-rays looked like gravel bars -- full of stuff that had shredded off the cartilage and mineral deposits that had accreted around those bits and pieces making them even larger. And yes, I had very bad knee pain when I was heavier and had suffered for years. Sometimes the pain was so bad I even had to use a cane. I'd discussed knee replacement surgery with my PCP, but hadn't gotten to the point of scheduling it. But I knew it was in my future. Then I had WLS at 235.6 pounds. I set my weight goal at 150 pounds, which I hadn't weighed in 40 years! At 5'5" a normal BMI for me started at 149 pounds. I didn't care -- 150 pounds seemed like a nice round number. BTW, I stopped taking Aleve and all other NSAIDs a few months prior to WLS. Yes, my knees hurt, but a few weeks after stopping the NSAID I realized they didn't hurt anymore than they had on the Aleve. Fascinating, eh? Eventually, 8.5 months after surgery, my scales rolled down to 150 pounds. I was at goal. By that point, needless to say, my knees felt a lot better. I wasn't doing black diamond runs, but I was walking up to 5 miles a day -- and fast. They still didn't bend anymore than they had before, but they were a lot more functional. One of my health goals for that first year post-op was to be able to walk up and down my front steps without holding on to anything, a goal I blew right by! I no longer felt like an old lady. So at 150 pounds I upped my calories to 1700 and started to maintain. But I slowly, slowly kept losing weight -- 1 or 2 pounds a month for the next 8 months. Eventually, my body stopped losing weight at 135 pounds. IT WAS THOSE LAST 15 POUNDS I LOST THAT MADE THE GREATEST DIFFERENCE IN MY KNEES! No, they still don't bend anymore than they once did. But at 70 years of age I am working hard (in yoga) on increasing my flexibility. My PCP told me to take knee surgery off the agenda completely -- I don't need it anymore. I can walk as far as I want and as long as it's still light outside. I can even jog a little. Not saying anyone else would or could have this result. But this was mine. It is one of my greatest NSVs from WLS.

I think it also depends on the build of the person i am 5'7 and have a muscular build.... i look sick, gaunt and just unhealthy if i go below 154. BMI is not an absolute.... there are too many variables.... height, build, body type, race, muscle mass etc plays a larger role. Eg. You could have 2 people who are the same weight and height and they look completely different.. what may look healthy on one of them can look different on the other Yes absolutely! Check out this site it's a good reference for that kind of thing: Www.mybodygallery.com I think I look healthy and fit and athletic. Here I am at 135. My body fat here is at the 17% level. My surgeon had a photo shoot done and I am in their promotional material (once and for all blew my anonymity as far as not disclosing my WLS) ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1467258576.644482.jpgImageUploadedByBariatricPal1467258600.523007.jpgImageUploadedByBariatricPal1467258619.315699.jpg Oh, Jess! You definitely look healthy and fit! You are a true WLS champ in my book.

Exactly! Not to mention that the smoothie sucked! LOL She forgot 2 ingredients and didn't put ice in it (and everything was room temp). She also said that we could have it at any stage pre-op or post-op but there were hemp seeds in it and when my nutritionist came by I asked if it was allowed in the first 4-6 weeks because I was told no seeds and she said no we couldn't have it for 6 weeks post-op. So - the presenter gave folks wrong information (and considering I was picking help seeds out of my teeth all night - I suspect those little suckers could easily get caught up on a staple and cause significant issues. LOL! As a long-time trainer of adults (as part of my consulting practice) I find this hilarious. And painful. But still funny. Good story.

I had sleeve WLS 22 months ago. I've been in maintenance for 14 months now (I weigh 135 pounds). I'm a 70-year-old woman. I eat 1700 - 1800 calories a day. That's what's working for me. For now. P.S. Based on the millions (literally) of WLS forum posts I've read in the last nearly 3 years, there apparently is no "standard calories per pound to maintain your weight" for any specific WLS procedure. What a WLS patient's maintenance calorie budget is depends on their individual metabolism, which is a function of age, gender, activity level, ancestry, muscle mass, and God knows what else.

First, @@OutsideMatchInside ... you have done SO great during this last year. Congratulations. And big respect to you! My Fourth of July this year -- mowing and more mowing and sawing and hauling downed timber and weeding. Sounds stupid to be even a little excited about all that. But I am. Two years ago (I was sleeved in August 2014) I couldn't even walk a mile. Now, I could trek the Himalayas. Literally. Seriously.

Damn, you people are funny! Thank you, @MRB4PHOTO .

Oh, wow! I read every word. I am so glad you "came back" and posted your three-year success story. You really do rock! I loved every word. Thank you again. (I'm almost two years post-op and doing well, too. I hope to be as successful as you are today in another year.) And don't be a stranger. There's a great new veterans forum here. Check out this thread and chime in when you're in the mood. http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/371260-veterans-only-please-one-year-post-op/ Again, you rock!

I'm not sure I'm addressing your specific issues below, so feel free to clarify them, if I'm missing them here. As you know, I have tracked my food all the way along this journey. I know exactly what and how much I'm eating in terms of macronutrients. So that gave me a LOT of information to design how I eat now (nearly 2 years post-op). All along -- during weight-losing phases and during maintenance phases (there were several) -- I have eaten as much as I do and eaten what I eat because that was what kept my weight falling or stabilizing at the time. I am extremely goal-oriented and can be pretty disciplined. Some days I am a little more hungry than I used to be -- and some days I have little interest in food. But for the last 14 months I've essentially eaten daily the same amount (in terms of macronutrients, not specific foods). That kind of consistency really makes it easy to stay within the guardrails.

Speaking only for myself -- my desire for a veterans forum doesn't come from an "elitist" position. My needs are literally different than they were over 2 years ago when I was still pre-op or 6 months later when I was still in the "honeymoon" period of losing weight. They're even different than when I first hit my weight goal of 150 pounds. I certainly don't think that I cannot learn things from those who are younger-tenured re WLS than I am. Nor do I imagine I'll muzzle myself and never post on a thread about alcohol or Protein levels or the honeymoon period or sip-sip-sipping or vitamins/minerals or slider foods or the need to move into exercise carefully or the hundreds of other topics that newbies need and want advice about. What I'm hoping to gain from the veterans forum is a more vibrant veteran community and participation and advice from veterans who (if you read this whole thread, you've already learned) are indicating they would spend more time at BP if there were a place where more WLS veterans were hanging out. Surely everyone of any WLS tenure will benefit more from a message board where more veterans stick around, right? For the record, "newbie" isn't a slur -- it's a description of someone who's new to a particular activity. Someone who hasn't had WLS yet (but is planning to have WLS) is clearly a WLS newbie. People who are new to maintenance are maintenance newbies. And people who are newly "veterans" are, I suppose, veteran newbies.

I'm going to double down with a number of you on the "validity" of wanting to weigh 135 pounds. I'm also 5'5". I NEVER expected to weigh this little. But it feels SO comfortable now. It just feels right. My eyes have adjusted, too. I don't even look "skinny" anymore. Just "normal." Like many of you, 150 was my original goal. I hadn't been there in 40 years, so reaching that goal 14 months ago seemed like nirvana. Then over the next 8 months (without trying to lose more) I very slowly lost another 15 pounds. For the last 5 months I've weighed 135 pounds (plus or minus two pounds). Damn, I hope this continues.

Insert here my usual rant about most NUTs.

She's alive! Good show.

@@bariatricbutterfly -- you are rockin'. Where the hell have YOU been? Welcome.