VSGAnn2014

I think that's the key to maintenance too, Bella. I believe you will get there. You just have to practice. I have a friend on another WLS forum who's discovered she needs over 2,000 calories a day to stop losing weight and to maintain. She's asked for advice about what foods to eat. Suggestions include that she eat in moderation: nuts, whole milk, sweet and white potatoes (but not fried), whole grain brown rice, high-fiber breads, whole grain pasta with meats, a few treats (dark chocolate), and more. I'm not a fan of eating fast food or junk food or sliders to get calories up. But there is a much larger variety of healthy foods out there we can eat in maintenance than those we concentrated on during our weight loss phases. Maintenance deserves a LOT of focus and concentration. Frankly, maintaining our weight is why we worked so hard to lose the weight. This is the real game we came to play.

Then there's the simple fact that as we turn 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90 -- we use up our bodies in ways that make us less physically healthy or resilient than when we were in our twenties or thirties. Some of our health in later years is under our control, and some isn't. A lot of people my own age (70) or thereabouts have never been obese, and some of them are in worse shape than I am. For instance, heavy physical labor, extreme sports, and recreational exercise (e.g., farming for a living, playing contact sports as a young athlete, long-distance running for decades) will wear down the bodies of even the "fittest" folks. Although life is precious and sweet, none of us is getting out of here alive or healthy. At 70 years old my health and appearance goals and motivations are different than they once were. My realistic goal is to maximize my health through nutrition, exercise, socialization, intellectual and creative and spiritual pursuits, and any other ways that contribute to my well being. It's all good.

I can eat the dollar cheeseburger (300 cals, as I recall) now easily at 15+ months post-op. I'm definitely full afterward. As I recall, at 6 months post-op eating the whole thing was a big deal. I could do it (I think), but it was not nearly as easy as now.

Can you drink OK? Like Protein drinks? High-calorie drinks? If your life is endangered, you have to figure out how to get your calories. Although we were instructed post-op not to "drink your calories," it's time to do so now (if you can). Get stronger. And if your surgeon can't help, you must find other doctors who can. Good luck.

I just told him everything I knew. Then I took him to my consultation with the surgeon. And then I hauled his ass to an educational seminar (after I'd decided to do it). He said, "I'll support you in anything you want to do." And he has. 100%. He's pretty wonderful.

Glad to hear from you, @bellabloom. Sure been thinking about you. Sounds like it was a good experience although, as you said, not quite a perfect match for you. I'm so glad you're committed to getting better and better. Happy Thanksgiving.

My shrink has been encouraging me to NOT track every day. And today I'm not tracking. I ate a little of almost everything. I enjoyed it all. Very unlike last year when I was still in the losing phases. I was much more regimented last year -- and pushing a lot of food around my plate while everyone else was chowing down. Just seemed more natural and easy this year. No anxiety at all. I'm maintaining great. Loving this new life.

Yo, Bella!

This is an ancient thread -- started in 2011. I'd not seen it until this morning. Boy, there sure is a lot of ignorance out there about what WLS will / can do for you. I blame this on some doctors, "obesity specialists" (whatever the hell those are), and especially on bariatric nutritionists who don't seem to know squat about what WLS involves. Seriously ... although all the other members of my bariatric surgeon's practice are wonderful, the two nutritionists I've dealt with are more than worthless. If anyone's still reading this thread, here's my experience with WLS: 1. Yes, you can lose all your excess weight loss. I have, and hundreds of people who've posted here have. 2. Yes, you can maintain your excess weight loss. Many people here who are farther out than me (15+ months) have done so, and they are my role models. 3. IMHO, the most important factor that influences your weight loss and maintenance is your commitment to doing what you have to do to make that happen. Yes, life's stresses happen to us all. They never stop -- there are more to come. Just listen to this: Two months after my WLS my beloved husband was diagnosed with cancer. Two months after that our dear dog died. A month later, my son's eldest son died. And just two weeks ago my husband's father died. And last weekend my own dear mother died. I'm fortunate that I'm nearly 70 years old and have already learned a few things in life. One of the things I know is that, compared to the other things life throws at us, losing my excess weight and maintaining that weight in the last 15+ months was one of the very few things I actually could control. I don't know if everyone can control their own resolve and resilience. But I encourage the newbies here to do what you can to ramp up those qualities in yourself as you travel this journey. That may include getting yourself into therapy / counseling to help you get to the finish line and beyond. This is your life. And no one but you can create it.

^^^ THIS!

@@CowgirlJane said it very well. A single metric isn't sufficient to describe the success we have in creating our best selves. Years ago I read that the actress Carole Lombard's waist measurement (29") wasnot what you'd expect of someone in that era who looked like she did. We truly cannot compare our looks to others' based solely on one metric. There's so much variation -- age, bone structure, muscle mass, physical fitness -- even the lengths and girths of our necks, arms, legs, torsos, etc. Also, our postures and "how we carry ourselves" makes a world of difference in how we appear. But to your question of whether you should (or shouldn't) go for your goal weight, speaking SOLELY for myself (I'm only 15+ months post-op), I have truly enjoyed reaching the weight I'm at now (138 pounds at 5'5"). I won't be surprised at all if down the road I regain 5-10 pounds. At my age, height and build, I'll be very, very happy weighing anything under 150 pounds.

Told you!

I didn't do food funerals. It was made very clear -- online and in my pre-op lectures -- that I could eat anything after surgery when I'd lost all my weight. I also couldn't see the point in gaining more weight prior to having WLS to lose a lot of weight. After all, most of us have overeaten all our lives -- been there, done that and have a lot of fat clothes to prove it. What I have learned very well in the last 15+ months since WLS is that food is not my enemy. It's my friend. Without nutritious, delicious food life would be a lot less interesting. Obviously, it also wouldn't be possible. Since reaching my weight goal I do allow myself treats every day. BTW, I plan my daily meals, so I'm rarely in an impulsive, "whatever" mood about what I'll be eating each day. But I do drink and eat now wine, dark chocolate, Pasta, bread. But not all of it every single day. Mostly I eat Protein, colored veggies and whole grains. There are scores of things in those food categories that are delicious as well as nutritious. To those reading this thread who haven't had WLS yet -- please don't gain extra weight with food funerals prior to surgery. They're really not necessary, since you can eat the food you love later, but in smaller portions which will feel like enough then. If you do pig out pre-op you'll just have to spend another few months at the end of your weight loss phases before reaching goal. And believe me, by that time you'll really want to be done losing so you can start learning how to maintain your new, healthy, sexy weight and also invest in new clothes in sizes so small you won't believe it!

Sorry, Granny. I eat pretty much everything. I'm 15+ months post-op. I also have never thrown up post-op. I do eat pretty slowly and chew really, really well. That might be a cause of your problem ... ?

I'm 15+ months post-op, and I must say that I still enjoy eating so much more slowly and chewing food more than I did pre-op. Honestly, learning how to chew smaller bites more fully releases flavors I didn't even know were in there. So I've become a big fan of the chew-chew-chew rule.

I'm now at the point where smalls fit me just fine. And it's weird to admit this, but now many 4s and the rare 2s fit, too. So buying too-small clothes is a bit hard to do now. However, I will also say that 4s and 2s are a helluva lot bigger than they used to be! And certain manufacturers and brands (Talbots, Ann Taylor, etc.) have goofy vanity sizing. But to those women who are successfully losing but worry they'll never get into an 8 -- yes, you will! And real size 8s -- not vanity size 8s. So don't spend a lot of money on sizes 10 and 12. It will be money wasted. And here's the real news flash: If you're like me, even after you stop losing weight your size will keep shrinking. It's really quite strange. And it's not even about my waist and hip measurements. Stuff just keeps moving to the right places and leaving the wrong places. FYI, I'm 15+ months post-op.

@@JupiterinVirgo said ... People fearing the munchies are non-smokers. Like anything else, it's what you make of it. Marijuana does not force you to eat, and it isn't addictive. Oh yeah? Marijuana does make many people eat -- and eat a LOT! It doesn't matter whether marijuana is "addictive" or not. For some people marijuana becomes an irresistible habit that's socially reinforced quite strongly because those they associate with friends / companions who smoke it. Like social drinkers, they become social marijuana smokers. And for those in whom marijuana triggers significantly increased appetites, marijuana can be a real barrier to weight loss. This doesn't make marijuana a bad thing in itself. But it does make the use of marijuana incompatible with weight loss -- for some people. As is often said on this message board, your experience is your experience. It doesn't mean everyone else will have the same experience you have had.

Just a quick comment to the OP -- good luck to you. This can be a toughie. There are no absolute rules here that apply to all situations. I also agree with @@coggietm -- we cannot change others. Only they can change themselves. I will, however, say this: Everyone's actions (and their inactions) have consequences.

Totally did this! I knew that if WLS didn't work for me that nothing would. So I started seeing a psychologist pre-op, because I was ready to throw as many resources as I could muster toward this final opportunity I had to finally lose ALL my excess weight and maintain my weight loss FOREVER! He has been a great help. Early on, I saw him weekly. But within 6-8 weeks that changed to monthly visits. I plan to see him for three years -- (1) the year of losing weight, (2) the year of maintaining weight, and (3) the year of boring real life. I don't have a binging issue, although I think we all (at least, I do) have occasional comfort-food eating issues. And in my case, I just had some bad habits I needed to change. What my challenges boil down for me are all about "good self care." I have been great about putting others' needs and demands ahead of my own -- clients', family's, the pets', occasionally even strangers' needs. For instance, I'd NEVER not feed or Water our pets or take them to the vet. But prior to WLS I didn't brush my teeth every night. I didn't get dressed every day. I didn't get nearly enough sleep and rest. I certainly didn't exercise. I didn't even take my reflux Rx regularly. Looking back, I seemed to have little respect or regard or even affection for my well being. That had to change if I was going to be successful long-term. And it really has changed. There aren't any hidden childhood traumas I've uncovered. But the focus we have put on remaining aware of my own needs and consistently executing on new habits that fill those needs has made all the difference in the world. Obviously, losing weight has given me a lot of "gasoline" to address and correct my past poor behaviors. But I think I wouldn't be as mindful or focused or consistent about all this if I didn't have the psychologist to help me hold my feet to the fire re my commitments to care for myself well.

BTW, I'm glad to hear that at least some of the folks who are smoking marijuana post-op aren't seeing their weight loss efforts hampered by their marijuana use. For those who are offended by responsible marijuana smokers, get ready to be offended a lot more. I predict that recreational use of marijuana will soon be legalized nationally -- and sooner than you expect.

How soon after surgery did you start drinking wine? I miss my occasional glass but I'm fearful of the effects. I had my first glass of wine about 5.5 months post-op. And thereafter I started drinking wine pretty regularly -- maybe 4-5 nights a week, but only 4 ounces. I'm on maintenance now and drink a glass of wine (4-6 ounces) OR one shot of single malt scotch (not both!) about 5 nights a week. I drink it extremely slowly and truly savor it. I'm truly a social drinker -- don't binge drink in any way. And then sometimes I just get bored with it or out of the habit and don't drink for a month or two. But I will definitely say that wine / alcohol affects me a little more than it did pre-op. Everything they say about alcohol's effects on WLS patients seems to be true for me.

If you want to remain on the down low about weight loss surgery, do NOT have your picture put on the Facebook page. You don't owe anyone anything after your weight loss surgery. And don't let your surgeon or anyone on her/his staff make you feel like they're doing YOU a favor by having you advertise for them. I see so many people get talked into things like this that they wind up regretting. Do what YOU want to do. Don't cave to any pressure at all, including the "be nice to everyone" instinct you may have going on.

It's a surprising, but common error for folks to read on message boards of one or two persons' WLS experiences and then extrapolate from that to "all WLS patients' experiences." As in ... "everybody who has WLS has complications / regains all their weight / becomes anorexic / loses their teeth / becomes an alcoholic / gets divorced / can't eat real food / whatever." FTR, at 15 months post-op (sleeve) I've never thrown up once. I average 90-100 grams of Protein a day. I still have a protein drink about 5 times a week. It's just food. Like milk. Like chicken, burgers, eggs and Beans. BTW, my sister who has never had WLS also has a protein drink for Breakfast during the week. She finds it convenient.

Walking fast -- used to love it; love it again. Fashion -- shopping for new clothes and discovering that the sizes that fit me are still getting smaller. It's crazy to me that I now wear size 4s. Coming up with new outfits -- trying on new combinations of clothes in my closet, eschewing pantsuits and choosing more leather and denim. Sleeping better -- after decades of insomnia, I now sleep 6-9 hours in bed with my husband and not in my easy chair or on the couch. When I was obese, I could not fall asleep easily because of physical pain and anxiety due to my obesity. Waking up in the morning and realizing (yet again), "I'm not fat anymore!" -- that never, ever gets old. Grocery shopping -- when I was fat I hated it, but it's become interesting again. Touching myself -- my face, arms, neck, shoulders, legs, back, wrists. Yoga and stretching, -- simply lying flat on the floor and feeling the weight of my body relaxing around my spine and on the floor feels so wonderful. My small body relaxes so much better than my big "blown up" body ever could. Sitting on my husband's lap, feeling his arms wrap all the way around me, hearing him say (sincerely), "You look great!" and "I love the way you look!" How sweet is that!

Damn, you guys are really making me think about plastics!