VSGAnn2014

We can all use friends. But sometimes -- as in my own case -- we can also use a therapist. Would you be interested in finding one who helps folks going through bariatric surgery? Mine has been a great resource for me. It sounds to me (?) like it's not so much what's happening around / to you -- but how you're reacting to it all that's causing you pain.

Science in action! Measure. Treatment. Measure. Repeat.

Yeah. I don't think the white stuff in milk is pus. Google shark jump.

OK -- I'm starting a face / plastics thread so we can continue to argue here only about diet sodas.

As of today what is your current weight? 135.6 What was your weight before wls? 235.6 (a 100-pound coincidence!) EDIT: I lost 19 pounds pre-op and 81 pounds post-op. How many month post op are you? 21 months

I don't think the problem has gotten any better since it started a few months ago.

@@Cari Dickenson ... There's a new key on your keyboard. It's called the RETURN KEY. When you use that key TWICE between topics and subtopics it makes your responses so much easier to read. Please!

Agree strongly with Daisee.

Look at you! The picture of health! Congratulations, sir.

OK. I've got Netflix. So I'll watch both those docos: "Forks Over Knives" and "Plant Pure Nation." Thanks for the info.

I'm not even close to a veteran. I'm only 21 months post-op. I've lost 100 pounds and have maintained at goal (150 pounds) or lower (now at 135 pounds) for longer than a year. It's certainly my intention to stay at or below goal for the rest of my life. However, I gotta say that involving a family member as a lender for WLS -- and then having to justify to them for eternity whether I'm measuring up to their maintenance standards post-op -- sounds like hell on earth. Ugh!

@jaxmomm Seriously ... I would love it if you would start a Botox / injectables / other face stuff thread! I've been thinking about it, but haven't done anything yet. Would love to hear everyone's responses and experience with those things. A.

Just a counterpoint here from someone who doesn't suffer from depression .... A week after my own WLS surgery I was happy as could be to stay home and cocoon. After all, you've just had major surgery! Your body is working very hard to heal. You're probably napping more than you have for some time, maybe ever. Honestly, nobody I know a week post-op was making daily trips to Sam's Club or Costco and throwing dinner parties.

Here are some other topics that always inspire forum participation: * Alcohol: Pro-choice, pro-life or pro-Long Island tea? * Managing your appetite mindfully with marijuana, tobacco and cocaine * Birthday cake: But what if I scrape off the icing? * Jerky and pork rinds: The benefits of sodium and lard * Bread, potatoes, Pasta, rice and matzah balls: Carbs, vey! * Fruit: Worse than coconut cream pie? * Ketosis and quinoa * Avoiding caffeine: The case for Mormonism * How long must I wait before having sex? Protip: Longer than your parents did! Ba-dump!

Well, now that we've all cleared that up and nobody has changed their minds, what are we going to argue about next?

To me, the person (real or fictional?) who wrote to "Kerry Ann's agony column" sounds very depressed. But did that depression contribute to his/her obsession with work and aversion to self-care or vice versa? Or are other factors contributing to both behavior sets? It's a puzzle to work out such causes and effects. Either way, the advice Kerry Ann gave is good: Find and implement better balance, self-care, seek therapy, establish and maintain time boundaries and metrics, find out what matters that you're avoiding and address those things, stop trying to control things you cannot even remotely control, etc. But how do you pivot from these old behaviors and attitudes to healthier ones? Speaking purely for myself, the problem was that I received so many more rewards at work for putting others' needs ahead of my own and, eventually, incredibly far ahead of my own needs. When you always meet insane deadlines and you anticipate your bosses' and clients' needs and meet those too and you decide (correctly or not) that you can carry out additional tasks better than anyone else and incorporate those tasks into your job description AND you are rewarded for all these behaviors with promotions, raises, and recognition, you're very likely going to perform like a good lab rat and keep pressing the button that gives you more cheese -- until you find yourself in physical, mental, and psychological collapse or crisis. This has happened to me three times throughout my long career. Then later in life, my obligations to care for elderly, ailing family members became a duty I could not shrug. Those new burdens combined with work burdens made me hit bottom and forced me to admit that working harder, harder, harder was no longer effective -- for me or for others. Committing to our own self-care is critical for long-term WLS success. When I finally put myself first I finally got healthier.

After you've lost all your excess weight and are in the maintenance phase of WLS life -- either newly or several years down the road -- what's the best eating path for you to follow? There are at least three major schools of thought about how to eat during WLS maintenance, with hybrids of these approaches. Each approach has enthusiastic boosters and rabid opponents among WLS patients. Each approach is espoused by some WLS surgeons, nutritionists, psychologists, bloggers, coaches, and those who sell WLS products. (1) Abstinence Approach: WLS patients should abstain forever from specific foods, especially those that contain sugar, processed carbs or alcohol. Proponents of the abstinence approach to maintenance offer advice to WLS patients like this: "Bread is empty calories and a waste of valuable pouch space." At http://www.bariatriceating.com/2016/02/can-versus-difference/ "Say no to alcohol." At http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/364081-bariatric-realities-%E2%80%93-medical-professionals%E2%80%99-guidelines-about-alcohol-use-wls/?hl=%20stapleton (2) No Dieting Approach: Some WLS patients report that they have maintained their weight losses by eating in moderation all foods that appeal to them. "I didn't have WLS to be on a diet the rest of my life" is a refrain often heard from this group. The major tool in this approach to WLS maintenance is portion control. (3) Mindful Moderation Approach: This approach has a foot in both the abstinence and non-dieting camps. Those who follow this approach select their foods based primarily on nutritional content, but indulge occasionally in the kinds of "treats" eschewed by abstainers. They endeavor to observe their feelings and behaviors around food choices and use this information to inform future choices. Recognizing that all WLS patients are not alike -- we vary considerably with regard to our surgery types, complications, physical and mental health challenges, emotional resources, basal metabolic rates, degree of family support, access to therapy/counseling, macronutrient tracking (with an app or mentally), physical exercise (intensity and frequency), etc. -- which maintenance approach works best for you? EDIT: Or if you know of other approaches to successful maintenance you think work well, please describe them here.

You've changed your life. And still are. So impressive.

You can buy some new ones.

Search this site for alcohol. You'll find more opinions than you can possibly believe!

I was a 42 or 44D. I'm now a 34 Long.

Well, I guess I will answer. I tried diet soda about 10 months post-op. Drank a lot of diet coke one day on a road trip. Let all the bubbles dissipate. Didn't matter. The acid tore my stomach up! It literally took a week of going back on a PPI to stop the pain and discomfort and GERD. No way would I ever try that again.

Jon Stewart for President!

Hold the line! Someone who "works in the bariatric field" is totally against bariatric surgery? Then Why The F**k is she working in the bariatric field?! Sorry ... got overly excited.

Raising my hand and adding my data to the database! I have "put alcohol back into my diet after surgery." And I have not (yet) gained weight back. Most days I have a single drink. (Am sipping my evening's single-malt scotch 1.5 ounces right now.) I've been doing this most days since 6 months post-op. I've lost 100 pounds and been at or below goal for 13 months now.