VSGAnn2014

I asked my surgeon last week, "What are the patient factors associated with very long-term (10 years plus) success in maintaining their weight loss?" He immediately said, with considerable gusto: "Follow-up! Those who stay connected to our program -- who come to the support group, who keep coming to their quarterly appointments, who take advantage of our nutritional consultations when they need them, who keep doing their lab tests to make sure their nutritional and blood chemistry is in balance -- those people are guaranteed of long-term success." He was so enthusiastic in his answer that it rang very true for me. (In the last 15 years, this guy has done over 5,000 weight loss surgeries.)

I understand that you're feeling stressed. But you should just walk. Even if you have to hold onto the wall, just walk. Walking slowly is fine, too. If you need to use a cane (or two), do that. If you have walking sticks (they're wonderful), use them outside. And if you can get your hands on a walker, use the walker to move more. It doesn't mean you'll always need it. And it doesn't mean you're an invalid. Just gives you more confidence to ... MOVE. Very best wishes.

These pix are so inspirational. Thanks to everyone who has posted before and after photos.

P.S. I weigh a hair under 240 pounds and have some very sore knees. Other than that, I'm in pretty good shape. Just ready to get my life back. (Sorry not to be very original.)

Actually, that's pretty good: "I completely disagree but I've found it's impossible to argue with someone's religious views so I think it's best I not say anything else." I think I'll tinker with that one a bit so it works for me. Now that I've thought about this for 24 hours or so, I'm thinking tonight about how tough it is for anyone who's "different" to live in a land of "normal" people. Aaahhh, tolerance. It's a hard thing -- whether you're the normal one or the different one.

Thanks for posting this article. It's the most recently published research I've seen on VSG.

You certainly have my support, hopes, thoughts, good vibes and prayers. I truly am so sorry for your loss. I send you my very, very best wishes for good luck, peace and strength. Ann

Dear want2besleeved87, Can you you accept that this is a hard thing you have to do -- and that you have to do it anyway? Are you able to get out of the house, even for 10 minutes and walk, even slowly, to release the tension that you're building up for yourself? Are you able to make a list of 10 reasons why you have chosen the VSG path and why you want it so badly? Can you fantasize for 10 seconds about what your life after you've reached your weight goals could be like? Could you list 10 benefits to your three children of YOU becoming healthy? Can you breathe deeply, in and out, to reduce your anxiety? Good luck to you. You CAN do this. Ann

What are you willing to do differently than you're doing now?

Yes. You should NOT worry about your family's lack of support. They get to decide what they think. But the good news is that YOU get to decide what you think. And do. And (to some extent) feel. It's great that your daugter gets it. You're "rich" in that sense. But even if no one bought it or got it, you could still do this. Many others have done so before. Very best wishes to you.

Gosh, you all are so impressive! And just look wonderful. Thanks to the OP for starting this thread. It's really wonderful to put faces to names and keystrokes. Thanks, everyone. Ann

Hmmm, this is interesting about the NSAIDs. I've been reading other things online (including post-op protocols by surgical clinics) not to take them post-VSG. Hmmm. The learning continues. Not complaining. Just learning.

Going beyond the OP's specific situation, I've been doing my research very, very hard (like everyone here) regarding the selection of a surgeon so as to maximize my chances of success with VSG surgery. It seems to me that the only ways patients can try to control our outcomes are to (1) find the MOST experienced surgeons possible (who have the most experience with OUR type of surgery) at the hospital where THE MOST numbers of our surgeries have been done and 2) be 100% compliant with our doctors' pre- and post-op instructions. What I think I'm seeing are fewer complications in larger medical markets (big cities) and more complications in smaller markets. This seems to align with (1) above. And yes, complications CAN occur anywhere and are caused by other factors. I appreciate all the stories about complications that members post here. They really are helpful to me. Thanks to the OP.

Two words: Human Resources This woman actually IS harassing you. She is making the workplace an uncomfortable place for you to be. Put down in writing (half a page) the kinds of questions this woman has been asking you and for how long and how frequently she has done this. Put dates down. Then schedule a meeting with the HEAD of Human Resources in your company / firm. Or the boss. Tell them to make sure this woman leaves you the hell alone. You don't have to put up with this.

Agree. Don't hide this from your surgeon. You're both on the same team.

Yes! A NSV indeed. I feel your joy.

Wow! Merry Christmas.

Deleted - wrong thread.

Google is your friend. I found this at http://www.aamft.org/imis15/Content/Consumer_Updates/Bariatric_Surgery.aspx I didn't find any divorce % numbers, but here's a good excerpt: How can a family therapist help? Though this is a medical procedure, the process can be highly emotional, stressful and leave a family with many questions and a need for therapeutic assistance. Marriage and family therapists (MFT) can use their unique training and expertise with couples and families to help bariatric surgery patients navigate challenges before and after surgery. In addition to the physical and behavioral alterations that follow weight loss surgery, personal and family relationships may undergo significant changes as a result of dramatic weight loss. The families and partners of weight loss surgery patients are heavily impacted by the behavior changes required in order for bariatric surgery to succeed. food shopping, mealtime and even relaxing in front of the family TV can be charged with emotion and difficulty following surgery. Formerly comfortable familial patterns must shift to accommodate healthier habits. Change is often difficult for everyone. Family loyalties, friendships, and marital bonds are tested and sometimes traumatized in the first six to eight months after surgery. Patients report strong interpersonal experiences of anger, embarrassment, and euphoria. An innocent observation from a spouse, friend or co-worker may be experienced as intrusive. A well-meant compliment at home or at work may cause confusion, discomfort and anger for patients. Divorce rates appear to climb among couples with a bariatric surgery partner, especially in the first year after surgery, as patients may see their partners as less interesting and less social than they remember. Another study noted that partners and friends of bariatric patients sometimes feel abandoned or threatened by their new, thinner friend or partner. Drastic physical transformations often lead to changes in self- and society perceptions. This may stress the patient’s family and friends, forcing relationships to evolve. Also threatening to partnerships are the new and intense relationships patients often form with others who have had surgery. These relationships hold great importance for patients in the early months after surgery, but recede naturally as patients learn to navigate their own recoveries and their own conflicting feelings about self and others. Marriages that fail following one partner’s surgery are typically unions that were problematic beforehand. For example, some patients experience physical or emotional abuse in their relationship as a result of their morbid obesity. Strong, healthy relationships are more likely to survive the experience. Near the end of the first post-operative year, some patients may display an intense and uncharacteristic self-assertiveness. They may explode with strident needs and opinions after years of accommodating and caretaking others. Friends, families and even patients are sometimes shocked at these strange changes in personality and in behavior. Patients will need guidance and support to develop new, healthy behaviors and activities to replace the core role food has previously played in their lives.

Superfluous, I'm still looking for actual research on the subject, but in the meantime here's a good article. http://seattletimes.com/html/health/2015195540_bari02.html It stands to reason that a strained or unfulfilling or unmaintained marriage will be stressed further by all the changes that a person who is morbidly obese will go through while and after losing weight. However, I've read on multiple boards and blogs many wonderful stories about how strong marriages are a tremendous resource for the WLS patient. But 80% of bariatric surgeries of married patients produce a divorce? I find that very hard to believe on its face. (Still looking.) Ann

Just keep channeling your energy into continuing being compliant with your post-op program. 8 pounds in 6 weeks is excellent. Excellent! We're all pulling for you.

And another thing .... Too much Water? Every body is the same? He never heard of a stall? He's an idiot. And of course, you could never, ever teach him anything because he knows everything already. Thank God that not ever doctor and not every surgeon is this big an asshole. Otherwise, I'd be letting my vet operate on me.

What! The Fuck! First, he's wrong. Second, you're not crazy. Third, he's an asshole. (There are going to be so many asterisks when I hit POST.) But seriously. But now comes the question -- how do you find another doctor? I'm afraid I cannot help you on that. I bet others here can do so though. Also, use the search function here and look for strings like: * changing surgeon * new surgeon * replacing surgeon etc. Good luck to you. YOU don't have to put up with that shit. (Lotta asterisks coming.)

Brilliant post, CoffeeGrinDR!

Man, I love this non-scale arms touching sides victory. Such a cool discovery.