Colleen Cook

Thanks so much to each of you for your kind comments. So glad to know that there are so many here to 'get it' Love to hear about the things that you discover that need attention to 'fortify' and strengthen your surgical tool. All my best to you! Colleen

There I was, standing in the middle of a large field at a historical site in Palmyra, New York. I listened intently as the tour guide described the great effort that had been made to re-construct the farm, log houses, fences and barns to what it was in the early 1800’s. While it was all quite fascinating to me, I was especially interested in her comments about the fences. As she pointed to a split rail fence near us, she noted how important it was for the homesteaders to build the fences, “hog tight and horse high.” You see, the farmers built wooden fences around their property to keep their animals in and other animals out. They learned quickly that if their fence was not built just right, the hogs would dig and crawl under it and the horses would jump over it. Hence the term, ‘hog tight and horse high.” I don’t know why, but for some reason my mind connected that concept to my experience with my surgical tool. You see, like the fence, my surgical tool does exactly what it was designed to do. However, through the years, I have learned how to go under it and how to jump over it! Sound familiar? Throughout these past few weeks, I have searched and identified ways that I sneakily crawl under and jump over my stomach pouch tool. And I know that I am a sneak! And to what end? Well unwanted pounds, duh! This little discovery has been a great eye opener and has served as a catalyst for changing some of myself defeating behaviors. We all know how essential our habits are to our long term success, and it is good to take stock (no pun intended) to fill in the gaps and fortify the foundations of our fences. Hog-tight As I searched, I found gaps that needed fortified and several holes that needed filled. First, my shopping habits had gotten a bit lax. It is so easy to justify the cookies, candy and chips by saying…. They are for my family. But, time and time again, those worthless calories were working their way into my mouth. No more! I patched up that hole and have recommitted to making better choices when I shop. Next, my exercise had slipped a little. Ok, a lot. My husband’s hip surgery and recovery was the perfect excuse to stop going to the gym; a deadly decision for me. Our membership expired and we had not re-joined, but I have patch up that hole, too. I found a new fitness center and absolutely love it! I mean love it! And that is saying a lot for me. Horse-high The comments about building fences high enough so that horses could not jump over them, led me to wonder if the standards that I have set for myself are high enough. Did I need to raise my standards regarding what sort of behaviors I will and will not allow from myself? That called to mind an experience I had several years ago. I bet you can relate. As I walked out of my office and down the hall I spotted a green peanut M & M on the ground. Now, keep in mind that I have always believed in the three second rule and I have never been above eating left over Halloween candy from the couch cushions. So, I glanced around to be sure I was alone, stooped over and picked up the M & M. As I started to pop it in my mouth, I instantly had these thoughts come to mind. “What are you doing? You are getting ready to eat food off of the floor! What is wrong with you? Why are you allowing this little candy to rob you of your self respect? Come on! You are so much better than that!” An Ah ha moment for me to be sure. I put the M & M back in my pocket, finished my errand, returned to my office and gave the little fella a place of honor on my office credenza! In that small act, I raised my expectations of myself and committed to adopt a more healthy relationship with food; never again to allow these tempting little tid-bits rob me of myself. And he has company now; a little blue one I found in an elevator, and a yellow one I found in the parking lot. These M & M’s are a constant reminder, that I am worthy of better behavior. May I encourage each of you to take some time to walk along your fence line to see if it needs your attention. What might you do to ensure that it is “hog tight and horse high” so that in a moment of temptation, you will not simply jump over or crawl under your perfectly good “fence."

We have always been told that attending support groups can make a positive difference for us as bariatric patients, but finding hard data to support that assumption has been a challenge. Until now! In 2013, BSCI partnered with Stanford University’s research team and the results in many areas proved to be quite remarkable. Identifying a group of ‘highly successful’ long term patients and comparing their behaviors to a ‘not highly successful’ group, we learned, among other things, that successful patients attend support groups THREE times more often than the non successful patients. As a weight loss surgery patient from 1995, I often wonder how I would be doing if I were not involved in the bariatric community each day. Would I still be in the ‘successful group’ or would I be struggling. Would I want to go to support groups to ‘stay on track’ or reach out to a support group to help me get back on track? I don’t know but the one thing I do know for sure is that my bariatric connections provide me not only a network of supporters, but a point of accountability as well. Support groups can be fun, informational, educational and motivational. Support Groups are designed for patients and our voice about helpful elements, topics and structure is both needed and welcomed. To that end we have re-launched our unprecedented survey on bariatric support groups. Please take a moment to tell us about your experience in support groups. Why do you go when you go? Why don’t you when you don’t? What are the most important elements a quality support group should include? Who should lead the group? Those who take the survey will receive our “Top 5 Things Every Bariatric Patient Should Know About Support Groups.” Take the Survey here and watch for the results soon.

I Love You – Have a Cookie! By Colleen M. Cook As my husband lay in a hospital bed, recovering from a total hip replacement, I searched diligently for a way to show my love and support. Then, I found the perfect answer, “licorice and Oreo cookies!” After 50 years in the workforce, my mother is retiring. Though she is not happy about it, I want to find a way to celebrate her many years of hard work. Oh, I know! I will bake her a pie. A cherry pie! That is her favorite. Hard to believe, but our oldest son, Craig is turning 33. He is a wonderful young man with a great wife and an adorable son, Skyler. That surely is cause for a special family dinner. Prime rib, all the trimmings and of course, I will bake a cake. I suspect that many of you are just like me. Even after 19 years as a weight loss surgery patient, when I feel the need to show my love, support or appreciation for someone I use food. It seems we all do. And that, I am afraid, has been the case since the beginning of time- you know, killing the fatted calf and all that. We love, we celebrate and we motivate with food. I have been wondering if it would be a futile endeavor, or would it actually be possible to change this behavior ? Now, I know that I cannot be responsible for everyone else, but I can be responsible for the choices I make. One day, one event and one holiday at a time. So, now that the good candy from the gingerbread house is about gone… along comes another sweet holiday, Valentines Day. You know, expensive dinners, heart shaped cookies, cakes and candy. In years past, Valentines Day has been the perfect excuse to bake giant heart-shaped sugar cookies with white icing and red sprinkles. But, this year I am going to do things differently. I know, it will be tough, now that Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups come in a heart shape, but I am committed to showing my love for my family and friends without using food! I have decided to spend my cookie baking time, writing heartfelt letters and notes of appreciation to those I love. My hope is that my words will fill their hearts, and that they will feel loved and appreciated, warmed and emotionally fed, and that they will not miss the cookies. Won’t you join me this Valentines Day, by doing what you can to fill someone’s heart – rather than their stomachs? I love you – here’s a note!

As my husband lay in a hospital bed, recovering from a total hip replacement, I searched diligently for a way to show my love and support. Then, I found the perfect answer, “licorice and Oreo cookies!” After 50 years in the workforce, my mother is retiring. Though she is not happy about it, I want to find a way to celebrate her many years of hard work. Oh, I know! I will bake her a pie. I Love You – Have a Cookie! By Colleen M. Cook As my husband lay in a hospital bed, recovering from a total hip replacement, I searched diligently for a way to show my love and support. Then, I found the perfect answer, “licorice and Oreo cookies!” After 50 years in the workforce, my mother is retiring. Though she is not happy about it, I want to find a way to celebrate her many years of hard work. Oh, I know! I will bake her a pie. A cherry pie! That is her favorite. Hard to believe, but our oldest son, Craig is turning 33. He is a wonderful young man with a great wife and an adorable son, Skyler. That surely is cause for a special family dinner. Prime rib, all the trimmings and of course, I will bake a cake. I suspect that many of you are just like me. Even after 19 years as a weight loss surgery patient, when I feel the need to show my love, support or appreciation for someone I use food. It seems we all do. And that, I am afraid, has been the case since the beginning of time- you know, killing the fatted calf and all that. We love, we celebrate and we motivate with food. I have been wondering if it would be a futile endeavor, or would it actually be possible to change this behavior ? Now, I know that I cannot be responsible for everyone else, but I can be responsible for the choices I make. One day, one event and one holiday at a time. So, now that the good candy from the gingerbread house is about gone… along comes another sweet holiday, Valentines Day. You know, expensive dinners, heart shaped cookies, cakes and candy. In years past, Valentines Day has been the perfect excuse to bake giant heart-shaped sugar cookies with white icing and red sprinkles. But, this year I am going to do things differently. I know, it will be tough, now that Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups come in a heart shape, but I am committed to showing my love for my family and friends without using food! I have decided to spend my cookie baking time, writing heartfelt letters and notes of appreciation to those I love. My hope is that my words will fill their hearts, and that they will feel loved and appreciated, warmed and emotionally fed, and that they will not miss the cookies. Won’t you join me this Valentines Day, by doing what you can to fill someone’s heart – rather than their stomachs? I love you – here’s a note!

Happy Valentines Day! From gift cards to candy hearts, boxes of chocolates to tender letters, acts of kindness, and thoughtful expressions surround this mid-winter holiday. For some, reaching out to their valentine it is just an expectation that they grudgingly fulfill. For others, it presents an opportunity to share genuine love and care for a cherished relationship. I am grateful and very blessed that my husband Roger is the latter. He is beyond kind, and always and completely acts out of love. He makes decisions based on what is best for those involved, and spends his days in service to others. An incredible man to be sure. And, Roger cooks! He is a great cook and loves to prepare wonderful meals. You see preparing good food is how he shows his love for his family. And feeding me, is how he shows his love for me. Hmm, to be honest, sometimes, that is a challenge for me. Meals are one thing, but the homemade cinnamon rolls, baked bread, fudge (and you know about me and fudge) and especially the chocolate mint on my pillow each night are quite another. So kind, so thoughtful, yet so full of calories I simply cannot afford! But I can’t say anything, can I? Years ago I came across an article by Gayle Andrews, PhD entitled “Intimate Saboteurs” Dr. Andrews included several case studies in which people who loved and cared very much about their WLS patient unknowingly ( though sometimes deliberately) sabotaged their weight loss success. Showing love with food is common. Many of us were raised that way. (See I Love You, Have a Cookie ). So what’s a person to do? Well, for myself, I sometimes secretly throwing things out. Not always mind you, but more than once, after raving about Roger’s homemade cinnamon rolls, I have taken a bite and thrown the rest down the disposal. Not always, but sometimes the mint on my pillow ends up in the garbage. Or sometimes those extra lovin' spoonfuls go to my dog! You see, it’s just best that way. I could ask him to stop, and I have tried but I have come to realize that it is so very important to him to share his love and talent that way. So, I manage one delicious, caring calorie at a time. When it comes to our weight management - what's love got to do with it? Well, I believe everything. There are so many people in our lives who love us with food. Each of us must find our own way to deal with "the love" in a way consistent with our commitment to both our beloved supporters and with our Success Habits.

Happy Valentines Day! From gift cards to candy hearts, boxes of chocolates to tender letters, acts of kindness, and thoughtful expressions surround this mid-winter holiday. For some, reaching out to their valentine it is just an expectation that they grudgingly fulfill. For others, Happy Valentines Day! From gift cards to candy hearts, boxes of chocolates to tender letters, acts of kindness, and thoughtful expressions surround this mid-winter holiday. For some, reaching out to their valentine it is just an expectation that they grudgingly fulfill. For others, it presents an opportunity to share genuine love and care for a cherished relationship. I am grateful and very blessed that my husband Roger is the latter. He is beyond kind, and always and completely acts out of love. He makes decisions based on what is best for those involved, and spends his days in service to others. An incredible man to be sure. And, Roger cooks! He is a great cook and loves to prepare wonderful meals. You see preparing good food is how he shows his love for his family. And feeding me, is how he shows his love for me. Hmm, to be honest, sometimes, that is a challenge for me. Meals are one thing, but the homemade cinnamon rolls, baked bread, fudge (and you know about me and fudge) and especially the chocolate mint on my pillow each night are quite another. So kind, so thoughtful, yet so full of calories I simply cannot afford! But I can’t say anything, can I? Years ago I came across an article by Gayle Andrews, PhD entitled “Intimate Saboteurs” Dr. Andrews included several case studies in which people who loved and cared very much about their WLS patient unknowingly ( though sometimes deliberately) sabotaged their weight loss success. Showing love with food is common. Many of us were raised that way. (See I Love You, Have a Cookie ). So what’s a person to do? Well, for myself, I sometimes secretly throwing things out. Not always mind you, but more than once, after raving about Roger’s homemade cinnamon rolls, I have taken a bite and thrown the rest down the disposal. Not always, but sometimes the mint on my pillow ends up in the garbage. Or sometimes those extra lovin' spoonfuls go to my dog! You see, it’s just best that way. I could ask him to stop, and I have tried but I have come to realize that it is so very important to him to share his love and talent that way. So, I manage one delicious, caring calorie at a time. When it comes to our weight management - what's love got to do with it? Well, I believe everything. There are so many people in our lives who love us with food. Each of us must find our own way to deal with "the love" in a way consistent with our commitment to both our beloved supporters and with our Success Habits.

Hi JD, Great that you have found BariatricPal. A great place to be. Additionally, we offer 3 free telephonic support groups each month. Always a topic and a facilitator - wonderful discussions with patients all over the country. More info at this link: BSCI Telephonic Support Groups

HI DL. Thanks for this report - We have identified the error and corrected it - please do take a moment to offer your input in the survey. Thanks for reading!

Thanks Carolina. Bariatric Pal is a great place to be for sure. Wonderful info and support. Additionally we host 3 free telephonic groups each month. There is always a topic, a facilitator and insightful and helpful discussions. Patients from all over the country! Love to have you join us. Dates and Times here: BSCI Telephonic Support Groups

As a weight loss surgery patient from 1995, I often wonder how I would be doing if I were not involved in the bariatric community each day. Would I still be in the ‘successful group’ or would I be struggling. Would I want to go to support groups to ‘stay on track’ or reach out to a support group to help me get back on track? I don’t know but the one thing I do know for sure is that my bariatric connections provide me not only a network of supporters, but a point of accountability as well. Support groups can be fun, informational, educational and motivational. Support Groups are designed for patients and our voice about helpful elements, topics and structure is both needed and welcomed. To that end we have re-launched our unprecedented survey on bariatric support groups. Please take a moment to tell us about your experience in support groups. Why do you go when you go? Why don’t you when you don’t? What are the most important elements a quality support group should include? Who should lead the group? Those who take the survey will receive our “Top 5 Things Every Bariatric Patient Should Know About Support Groups.” Take the Survey here and watch for the results soon.