Paushasleevedshark

I wish that I had something clever to say but as many of us I over ate. Food is my friend, my lover, my confidant but as some some friendships my relationship with food became toxic.

I honestly feel that I suffered some type of body dysmorphia. I for most of high school thought I was fat. I was a normal weight for my height. I would skip meals and go on crazy diets. At seventeen I wore a size 14. Yes to many that is fat but for me truly it was not. I was fit and active.

At eighteen I decided to get married and that's when my weight took a turn for the worst. I climbed to a size 22 durning that emotionally abusive time of my life. I thought that if I loosed weight that he would love me more. So, I lost back down to a size 14. Needless to say that weight loss did not save the marriage. We soon parted after 4 years of unhappy wedded hell, lol. Such is life. Through it all I was able to keep the weight off for only 2 years. Slowly through the ups and downs of life my old friend crept back in. It was there to help me through the highs ands lows. There to kiss my cheek when I cried and there to pat my back to celebrate my accomplishments. The love affair with food has almost loved me to death. 400 plus pounds later.

Now at age 51!suffering from high blood pressure and back, knee and foot pain, asthma and a family history of renal failure due to hypertensive crisis and diabetes. I needed desperately to take control of my health.

I thought I could beat this on my own. Though countless weight loss programs, gyms vegetarianism and vegan ism nothing gave me success. Surgery was the last and final option.

It was not an easy decision to make. A few years ago I lost a friend from lap band surgery. She never came home from the hospital. I miss her.

Nevertheless, I have made this choice to have surgery and work the tool I will be given. I will use my faith and prayers and all the resources provided to me to reach goal. I have long hard road ahead but I fear not. Psalms 23.