bearman99

So, I am 47 years old and I decided (finally) I want to live. This is new...... First, a little personal history. In 1966 I was born significantly underweight. I almost killed my Mom when I was born (I was always a handful :-) ). She ended up having a historectemy because of it. This was the only point in my life I was underweight or normal weight. Shortly thereafter I was always "pudgy" or "stocky". In 7th grade I plumped up even more and at 5'7" entered high school at 230lbs. I kept gaining through sophomore year up to 250lbs. I graduated High School at 270lbs. The lowest I have been since 1984 was 280. The highest was (estimated 350ish) and I was there within the last 2 years. In 2000 I was admitted to the hospital with (BS 964 - yep and I wasn't in a coma) inability to sleep, peeing all the time, and a skin infection that was pretty nasty.....yep, diabetes T2 was with me now. I remember being prescribed a diet where I could eat 2C of raisin bran and skim milk along with some fruit.....but I digress towards a scathing diatribe about 2000's accepted dietary guidelines. Now all along I have had high blood pressure. Pretty much since high school it was high. I, being a guy and purposefully choosing to ignore the silent things, didn't do anything about it for quite a while. In early 2011 I was fatigued and tired all the time. I had also mysteriously gained 30 lbs in about 6 weeks. So I went in to the hospital "not feeling well" and when the nurse checked my blood pressure hit the emergency call channel to have me admitted immediately (240/180 will do that).....I was in AFIB and it turns out had heart failure from Fluid build up. I lost a bunch of weight after this getting down to 290 (from 340ish), getting my heart back into sinus rhythm. According to my cardiologist he is amazed at my hearts recovery back into what is considered "normal" with my pumping ability (his words not mine) "fully recovered". So I have Hypertension, Diabetes, Hyperlipidia, borderline Kidney issues, and gout. I am on 11 medications for hypertension and 3 meds (incl Lantus) for diabetes. My Mom had hypertension really bad all her life too, died from cancer though nothing related to the heart. And it was just a few months ago (my ability to live in denial is EPIC) I finally woke up and said to myself "I want to live"....not just live like in living to an age, I mean actually live life like this is it and not a dress rehearsal. So here I am scheduled for surgery on Dec 24 and a self-pay to boot (direct exclusions suck). I am a bit scared of the surgery. I am very scared of me. My ability to live in denial and ignore things that should not be ignored is well refined and dangerous. My Mom 35 years ago has a gastric bypass and she lost 150 lbs and eventually keeping 100lbs off while using OA as her lifelong counselling until her death in recent years. My Mom's sister had the same surgery lost 100 lbs and 2 years later gained it all back plus 50 lbs.....which one am I (says my fear in my head). I have been trying to not drink 30 min before, during or 30 min after a meal....holy crap I had no idea how much I used liquids to wash food down. This of course adds to my trepidation and general unease. So, I want to live. I have had two major health warning shots in my life. I believe the Sleeve will aid in this life change. I am a bit scared. Thank you for reading. Now, off to read all the good info on this site. I will share more as it happens.

Best decision I ever made.

I always viewed the diet recommended as a guideline. In general, the less carbs the better chances of long-term success. I DO find if I eat/drink carbs the hunger hits me more. I do find that getting my 100-130g Protein keeps me satiated. If I choose to have alcohol or higher carbs I am dealing with the smack in my head calling me to want to eat more. The best is to find YOUR carb limit YOU can live with. I knew going in that if I restricted everything this would fail for me. It is a rare day my net carbs go over 100. I wish you health and happiness and hope you find what works for you for life. This is not a quick fix but merely a tool, a very powerful tool, but still, just a tool to help.

Hunger still happens. I just fill up easily if I follow the rule of Protein first and stay full the longer I wait to drink after I eat. If Protein shakes are not working try solids. I have 2 shakes a day to get ample protein for me (90-130g/day) so I consider my protein supplemental not the main course. Play with it, find what works for you.

Yes. Summer is great though- I am comfortable in 85deg weather. Wisconsin February already has me freeked out thinking of it.

Here I am 8 months later and 103lbs lighter. All meds have been reduced and over half of them have been eliminated. Not sure normal BP will happen with zero meds but a huge improvement from where I was. I still have fat to lose and it is slow going now as well as it occurs in spurts. Frustrating at times. I eat between 1200 and 1500 calories on average. I get 80 to 150g Protein. I have pretty much eaten everything just in way reduced proportions. My new worries revolve around using alcohol. I have been enjoying imbibing spirits and this worries me I might get taken in by a different addiction than food. It probably relates to the somewhat disappointing reality for me. When I imagined losing 100 lbs that I would then have rainbows, happy leprechauns, constant happiness, women swooning on me, and all my issues eliminated. What a delusional fool I was/am. Life still sucks at times. I am grateful for many things. The sleeve has brought me more face to face with me. I have MORE raw emotional me than before. This is daunting at times. Zero regret so far. I am active trying to get political machine to help pay for bariatric surgery in the US. For those ready and with serious medical weight related issues it is the way to go. Anyways, today I broke through with 103lb lost so I thought an update was in order.

HW 334 SW 310 Dec 24 CW 242 6 month checkup - all is well So my NUT said to me in her parting shot at my 6mo checkup.....your BMI is still way too high you should aim for 25ish BMI. FWIW, my lbm is 186 so my fat mass is 56lbs or 23% fat. Normal range is in the 11-22% for males. I jumped on my PA and asked what the hell the NUT was talking about. Why is BMI my new goal when I am dense / muscular. I was told to ignore her comment. Body fat of 20% would be a great target for me. If I can not lose anymore LBM this means a target weight of 223. I will keep on going and adding in some weight lifting. I will keep my goal at 210-220 until I get evidence to update this. I have always thought nutritionists are idiots. This just confirms it once again.

Let's talk about your fixation on rat's asses. I love you!?

What if we are already perfectly perfect just the way we are? Can you look in the mirror and say to yourself "self, I love myself!" mean it, and not cry....what emotion do you get when you do that? Can you say to yourself 10x I love myself? Try it morning and night 10x in the mirror for a week - tell me how this goes. If "I love myself" is too much try "I like myself" and see what happens. Seriously, give it a whirl. Find happiness and knowing you are perfect just as you are. Except I lost more than you therefore I am better, errr, wait, I mean it seems your online numbers show you have lost more than me, err, well, maybe it means nothing afterall. Have I confused you yet? Stay tuned for more messages from my sponsor.

I too can eat anything / everything at this point. This is for the rest of my life and if I try to make it in my mind where I will never eat another "bad" food I know where that will head.....sabotage for me. I am trying to be easy on the guilt / blame / emotional stuff as being hard on myself led me to internal psych beat-downs which led to even more obsessive behaviors. The keys so far have been never having liquids 30 before, 30 after the meals and getting my Protein first. It seems to be working. Sorry to hijack, but, I know for me being a diet Nazi on myself will not work long-term. All of my changes are forever changes and I am at peace with it. I hope all of you are at peace too.

*rant* *rave* Help me! I am being repressed! or is it oppressed?!

HW 334 SW 310 Dec 24 CW 265

Sip like its your job. Sip every other minute. Use a timer for a weekend. Sip like your life depends on it. I heard/read someone said "sip like it is your job" I liked that.

For me, no regrets whatsoever.

Well done. Lookin good!

Feel better?

I have not been exercising and have been averaging 3lbs per week. That said, I try to move more and walk a bit more daily. Exercise is great to prevent the body from starvation mode and dozens of other reasons. Whatever you will do make sure it is something you can do the rest of your life. Sustained change rather than quick fix being the goal....or at least that is my thought as to why I am not freeking out about exercise. I know I will not go back to exercising an hour daily - I just will not sustain it long-term (2+ years). If your goal is max weight loss then exercise your butt off, just don't be surprised if exercise causes more stalls and creates more hunger.

Tomorrow will be my 2 month surgeversiry. I am now 66lbs less than I was when I started this journey. At 268lbs I am lower than when I graduated high school. I am kinda freeking out right now. Excited, scared, doubt-filled. So far, the very best decision for my health in my life. I look forward to removing more medications from my daily intake. Right now I have to still remind myself to eat otherwise I do not get enough calories and Protein. I am eating more than my NUT requires and I am not exercising the way I should. I have been losing 3lbs a week pretty consistent. Though it bounces a lot. From yesterday to today I dropped 3 lbs. I will be starting some kind of regular exercise but am not being too hard on myself. Any changes I make I make sure they are permanent and not just a change to lose weight for today only. So far, so good.

HW 334 SW 310 CW 271

The one you can be consistent with. Generally, this will be when you first awaken, buck naked, after the restroom, before eating or drinking. This will be your best comparison of weight from yesterday to today. That said, your best measure of health is body fat percentage. Body weight and its obsession will lead to bad health decisions. Your weight is your weight. Water weighs 4.1lb per half gallon.

HW 334 SW 310 CW 274 Ok, pretty happy, just crossed the 60lb lost mark. Yay me!

The Atkins frozen meals are good for our goals in any post-op bariatric way.

I hope I don't die. I hope this is a success and can get off my plethora of prescriptions. I need to get healthy and this risk is worth it - let's get it over with. Just gave you three first thoughts.

I'd suggest aiming for a body fat percentage. The scale weight is a terrible measure of success and can lead to unhealthy decisions on your health. Looking good dude.....for a dude that is.

Eat protein first Never drink fluids 30min before, 30min after a meal Eat 0.5g protein per lb lean body mass (100-110g protein for me) Track all intake and exercise (aim for 1000kcal daily - when full stop) Eat slowly (my primary issue - pacing myself is a problem) Drink at least 80 oz water daily Relax, I got unhealthy over 25+ years, 1-2 years to lose the fat and get healthy is ok Make the changes permanent - if it is a short term thing don't do it until I am mentally prepared to do so Move daily but don't obsess Fix the head, the body will follow