Folly

I wouldn't consider it a stall at a week. I've noticed over the last 2 years that it doesn't seem like stalls to me. I go through periods of up to 8 weeks with no weight loss and then I'll drop enough to make a big difference without really changing anything at all in diet or activity level. It's beginning to feel like a cyclic thing to me. I tend to look at it like my body is starting to store up nutrients and energy reserves and when the "tank" gets full it dumps more weight. I recently had about 5 weeks of weight loss where I dropped about 20 lbs. I don't especially expect to see any more for a month or two but who knows, I might. It's OK. One thing I'm really trying to do is listen to the needs of my body - not an easy thing to learn, I still struggle with that often. :-)

Maybe your not experiencing so much of the negative impact as some is due to having appropriate supports prior to and subsequent to weight loss. What triggers us is as individual as we are. For you it was self-care. My issue was about long-term sexual assault and violence - being bigger made me feel safer from people. I can't praise you enough for having the insight to get yourself the proper supports in place and then utilizing them. I wish I had known how desperately I needed to do this prior to jumping in with both feet.

As I've navigated through and reflected on this journey it's become evident to me that the medical community has completely dropped the ball. Prior to my WLS I was required to go to nutrition classes and lose weight. My physical health was adequately monitored. The part that seems absolutely irresponsible to me now is that I was only required to see a social worker for one visit to be deemed ready for surgery. What we're not talking about, not getting real about and continuing to be way too defensive about is the reality that something has gone desperately wrong in a person who eats until they are almost dead and can't move - and still keeps eating. I do not regret the surgery. I'm doing well. Life is good and all but if I had it to do over again I would do it in reverse. For me personally, it went from euphoria to complete emotional meltdown before it got better. People are so eager to hurry, hurry, hurry and take a run at it without really getting to the root of what's wrong. (I'm speaking in generalities here so if what I say doesn't apply to you please do not be offended - if you disagree with me I still love ya.) For me, and everyone I have ever known very well personally who was obese, the weight was the symptom, not the cause. I truly believe, as I was going through the pre-op process, several months of therapy would have made a world of difference. The 300 pound wall of fat that I surrounded myself with kept me numb and apart - lonely but safe. When it got to 120 lost, 130 lost, 140 lost, etc the emotional pain got so intense it was overwhelming and I just couldn't figure out exactly what was wrong. Depressed, angry at the drop of a hat, fearful, anxious and always, always hurting. Getting up every day and plastering that phony smile on my face every day became harder and harder until I just couldn't do it any longer. So I finally sought my answers and I'm ok - managed not to return to food but the process has been an ordeal. What I'm getting stuck on is the medical community has a pretty clear picture emerging of long-term success and failure rates of WLS. You can't just cut away part of a person's body and tell them to drink their Protein shakes expecting everything to resolve. Isn't it time to begin recognizing that just living like that in a world that judges and mocks you for it can devastate a person emotionally? Before we even get to what happened that made this behavior less painful than what we were trying to cover up can we at least start acknowledging that ? The final thought I have is that we have to be very mindful of being smug when one among us struggles or loses their way. I've seen that a lot and I recognize it's really fear of joining them behind the unsupportive behavior and attitudes but it's still ugly. One of the things I like about this site is I rarely see us shooting our own wounded but even here it creeps in sometimes. I've been guilty of it myself. I hope I never make anyone feel bad but if I do, please tell me. Peace

Learn something every day :-) It could very well be a coincidence that my hair loss began when I discontinued using Rogaine. Kind off point but amusing thing about hair. I finally called a friend of mine who has hair very similar to how mine grew back in (Shirley Temple's grandmother on crack is the look I usually have) only hers is extremely dark and always looks so nice and never frizzy. "Help, how do I tame this? The frizz shampoos and products don't touch it." "Put some oil in it." "White people don't put oil in their hair, what else do ya got?" "You no longer have white people hair. Get some stuff for Black hair." So I gave it a try. Went to the store and where they sell the products made for "Black" hair found her suggested remedy. Per her instructions, just put enough on my hands to coat them and rubbed it through my hair. I called her a little later to ask, "What else have you been holding out on me about?" Less than $5 tamed the frizz into soft, shiny, not oily, bouncy curls. This is maybe the first time in my life I have looked in the mirror and liked my hair without wishing it was some better version of what I got stuck with. Moral of the story: I got the hair I always wanted. This journey takes and gives in unexpected ways. It's a self-esteem boost for me.

The studies are depressing but people are looking at this as a physiological issue without really understanding that the rate of relapse from ANY recovery from addiction/addictive behavior is extremely high. We are not exempt from having to find our way out of those things that brought us to needing WLS any more than any other addict must to assure lifelong health and recovery. I stopped reading them when I hit my statistical "plateau" a few months ago. I find it sobering and helpful to understand that WLS isn't a cure but one of the tools we employ but I also find it very discouraging to dwell on the probably of relapse/regain. I know the probability is high, I am an addict however, I am not a f**cking statistic. I have a say in what happens to me now and every day for the rest of my life. Staying the course seems to be my main tool. When I "mess up" (not doing what I believe is correct - not always food related) I acknowledge it, make a course correction and let it go. AWESOME THREAD!

@@Puppypaws57 It may take some time to unravel what's going on. Please don't get trapped into "all or nothing" thinking. As long as you're breathing there's hope darling. If I can offer you any support please reach out to me :-)

@@Jovie62 I think eventually you get to "it is what it is" and you deal with it. I went through Kaiser, by the way. My process began in California. The pre-op process was 3 months of nutrition classes and an assessment by a LCSW.

if you really want to take a good before pic just smile. You're lovely :-)

My husband had a similar experience with his former wife. 12 years into the marriage she "came out" to him. I'm sure a case could be made by an outsider for being angry and punishing toward someone if they're self-righteous enough but honestly, this is such a painful and devastating thing to happen. I just can't see any sense in making it worse with ugliness. I truly hope you both get through this unscathed and intact. *hugs*

I don't think it would be such a terrible thing to tell your gym acquaintance (notice I omitted the use of the word "friend"?) that you felt sniped at and really prefer to have those discussions with your Dr and loved ones. That's how I handle unwanted or unkind statements. "I prefer to discuss these issues with people who love me" shuts them down usually permanently.

I was told I would plateau in 12 to 18 months. I'm finding that generalities should be ignored. So many factors contribute: age, gender, diet, ethnicity, activity level, etc, etc. I have found my weight loss is much, much slower than it was when it began but I'm assuming as long as I continue to make healthy choices my weight will settle at what works for my body. Eventually I think we have to stop focusing on the number so much and maybe focus on good nutrition and overall health.

We all share so many common struggles. Nice to have a place to talk about it.

I'm sure if I tell you that won't happen a bunch will come forward and tell you it happened to them... but I have never known anyone to have permanent hair loss unless it was male pattern baldness or they were very nutritionally compromised. Don't sweat it. :-)

Mine required 10% weight loss before surgery to mitigate the risk of the liver being injured during surgery. Evidently ribbons of fat make the liver less dense and it has to be pushed aside during surgery. Rapid weight loss makes the liver more lean and more dense. That was how they talked me into losing so much prior to surgery. :-) good luck

Your primary care Dr may not be an expert on bariatric issues. In the early days a lot of people are slow to start losing weight because they aren't getting enough calories and the body goes into conservation mode. It passes but we ALL eventually go through little and sometimes big stalls. It's all fine. Be kind to yourself. Hi I am post op week 6 from RNY on June 25 and feel that weight lost has been very slow for me. I feel frustrated and defeated. I am doing and following everything and exercise 30 minutes daily if possible but not weekend. My weight lost has been the following: Start o my journey : 248 lbs After 2 weeks liquid diet: 237 lbs 10 day post op appt: 225 Week 5 post op: 215 My primary care doctor who I seen over the week end told me my weight lost was kind of slow compare to most other weight lost surgery. My bubble was busted and I cry all day. I have my 6 week follow up with my surgeon on Wednesday August 5,2015. I admit that I was hoping to be down to 200 lbs but I don't think this will happen. So I just need someone to help guide me through this and give encouragement. Thanks

It might be time to start thinking about seeking professional help from someone who specializes in addiction and/or eating disorders to help with the underlying issues that may be part of the problem. *HUGS* (I'm like a broken record)

welcome

Thanks. I really hope so.I don't have a counceler but I think this site is powerful enough to get through it. Its my relationship with food that's annoying. My feelings controll what I eat most of the times. I'm starting fresh tommorrow. Hopefully I'll get back on track. I also will go for a check up soon. Getting on track tomorrow is part of that "all or nothing" thinking we get stuck in. I've already messed up today so I might as well keep doing but start fresh and be perfect tomorrow... The first time you don't get it right in your own eyes you end up continuing and plan to start fresh tomorrow... There is no tomorrow, Sweetheart. We only have the moment we're in to get it right and you can do that now. I'm holding you accountable :-)

It took a long, long time for me to recognize the difference between bored and hungry, not full and hungry, etc. It might help to recognize your tummy is like that of a newborn baby, just as small and just as delicate. You can get a newborn to swallow chocolate ice cream but it doesn't make it a good idea. Be very gentle with yourself. I had food aversions and issues at first also. Two days after surgery I gagged at the smell or taste of anything liquid, soft or mushy so I ate French fries. I felt OK with it, just a few. The swelling and paralysis went away after about a week and it started a battle with everything "good" being absolutely disgusting and everything else made my stomach hurt so bad I would vomit. Whatever the issue is, the sooner you deal with it, the sooner you can move on to better things. So many of us come to the point of needing medical intervention after years, or even decades, of hurting ourselves with food and shame and what we allow others to project onto us that we're often incapable of recognizing and dealing with anything but pushing everything down and putting food on it so it doesn't hurt. I found a lot of help with a professional who specializes in addiction. I had to end the romance with food. Our break-up was emotional and painful but I felt better as I began to heal emotionally and physically.. I still have aversions to certain things but I mostly listen to my body and it seems to be working out. Life is good.

Mine started about a month post-op. I thought pregnancy taught me about acid reflux but this was like OMFG!!!!!!!!! Lansoprazole is the one that works for me. I find I take one every two or three days and that keeps me comfortable. The burn is absolutely unreal if go more than 3 days. It's among the most common and persistent post-op things we are stuck dealing with. Something will work for you. :-)

I've finally reached a point where this is on auto-pilot and I'm not really all that worried about weight loss/gain anymore. I had a few stalls but fortunately no weight gains that were significant (I have a 2-3 lb gain and loss every month as I ride the hormonal broomstick). I got on a scale this morning and was shocked to discover I've dropped more weight. I sort of thought I was maintaining. :-) Life is different. Life is good.

Are you stuck in that "all or nothing" thinking? Being off track can stop at any moment. Get off your own back about it and try to calm down. If I find myself in the scary place you're in I hope someone will give me the following advice: It's going to be OK. This is a symptom of your need to address the issues that started your dysfunctional relationship with food in the first place. It's time to do that so you can finally move on to other things this is holding you back from. You're worth the time and effort it's going to take to do that. If you think you're not then be selfish and get the help anyway and pay it forward later. For now, it would be a really good idea to write down what you are putting in your mouth every day. You need a couple of people you don't have to be brave for to talk to and be honest with about where you are. No haters or judgers - but someone who will lovingly hold you accountable. That's your lifeline while you consider seeking help from a professional who specialized in addiction to help you root out and banish the underlying causes or this behavior. Also, see your Dr and get a full physical. Excessive hunger may be your body telling you something is wrong or some nutrient is missing that you desperately need. *hugs*

I started using rogaine for women (you can buy it at most stores) the day I came home from surgery. It prevented the hair loss. About a year post-op I figured I didn't need it anymore and stopped using it. Then my hair fell out anyway. I didn't have bald Patches but it got pretty thin. It has grown back in, thicker than before and curly. I always wanted curly hair but still have no idea what to do with this mess. Don't worry, it grows back.:-)