Folly

You know, bashing is bashing whether it's someone's opinion or behavior, when we slam them publicly we're only inviting controversy and argument, name-calling and general hatefulness. This is a public forum and everyone has a right to an opinion. It can be frustrating for people who are dealing with it in ways they feel are correct to constantly see others' seeming willfulness to insist on doing things known to possibly be harmful. The OP shouldn't be bashed but neither should anyone who gave an honest opinion, even if it seemed harsh or even unhelpful. One of our greatest resources is each other and respectfulness is the obligation of everyone, even you and even me. I think it's f****ed up to hurt people with harsh and discouraging words but name calling is just as ugly. Let's give each other a little room and just ignore what is unhelpful. I don't think anyone had bad intentions.

Body Dysmorphic Disorder is real. Try looking at photos. This was what helped a couple people I know immensely. For some reason the photos look as they should. The interpretation of the mirror image is the distortion. This may be an issue to work out in therapy with someone well versed in eating disorders. :-)

Mine lasted a long time, close to a month if I recall correctly. Dr found no issues with it but it just hurt and hurt and hurt... it does get better.

Wow, being mean to people who acknowledge it isn't all sunshine and lollipops for them is a little f***ed up! It's a daily struggle to get to a place of comfort with the changes. Please reach out to people who will give you some understanding and ignore those who are being hateful or self-righteous. Your choices maybe could improve but it seems your a little lost with it right now. If I can help in any way please let me know. Peace

I went to nutrition classes (mandatory for my surgery to be approved) with a nice young women who was at a similar weight and size to me. She was so pretty, smart, vivacious... I liked her a lot. Not long after surgery she went to a fast food chicken place and ruptured her sleeve eating mashed potatoes and gravy. She didn't seek help (shame? denial?) for over 24 hours. Well, someone sought help for her. She was found unconscious. I didn't go to her funeral. I sometimes say pretty stern things to people when they talk about NOT following medical advice. I would rather hurt your feelings than read your obituary. I'm just saying... Peace

I still haven't hit a plateau - we have more control over this than you might think. Make sure you're eating enough so you don't send your body into conservation mode. A good NUT who understands this issue can help you avoid that trap. Over-restricting is one of those things that will bite you in the butt down the road. The "stalls" that happen when you're making the correct choices are most often your body working in its own rhythm and nothing to worry about. The numbers people become elated or despairing over in the beginning aren't as important as the overall process. Calm down and do your best. :-)

I'm surprised so many people can relate to this topic. Thanks all :-)

@@Savannah Lee I eat sushi once in a while. My stomach can't hold much of anything (2 years and I can still only hold about 4 - 6 ounces at a time) but I'm a SoCal native. We gotta have our sushi .

I eat whatever looks good but very small portions. I've been tracking nutrients, Protein, carbs, fat and calories so long that I can usually look at a food and know how much I should choose to eat and still stay within the boundaries of "making good choices". I avoid things like pizza and fried rice more because I'm not "spending" my daily allotment of calories, carbs and fat on foods that make me feel crummy than because there's some arbitrary proscription from eating them. Being afraid of food isn't helpful long-term but being aware of it is - for me. You'll figure out what works for you :-)

@@Babbs You just gave a medical explanation for what I have been describing. I tell people it feels like my body is storing up energy and nutrients, when "the tank gets full it dumps more weight". (Which is why I think it's incorrect to consider yourself in a stall just because the scale doesn't report weight loss every time you step on it). AWESOME! Thank you for knowing this and sharing it with others!!!

had to look it up to know what you were talking about. It appears to be a way of reinforcing the staple line. I would want to look at how people are doing with having it done that way after the first year, at least, before consenting to have the surgical line inverted like that. I wonder how it affects flexation/digestion with the stomach wall sutured that way. Someone here must know about it from personal experience. Anyone?

I would like to get a discussion going about this. Any takers?

HELLO!!!!!!!! You're adjusting. It gets better. I ended up needing some therapy. Support groups help a lot. People on this site are very supportive. This is not uncommon.

I was checked for leaks before discharge from the hospital. I believe this is S.O.P. so you won't have to worry unless you overeat until you hurt yourself - you have total control over this happening or not happening. If you develop GERD then you might have to take an antacid, maybe even daily. GERD is extremely manageable so how big a deal is adding a capsule or tablet to deal with it going to impact your life? Statistically, at your weight, the chances of not making it out are so low that I couldn't find stats on it. (The procedure overall yes - but it seems most of the *VERY FEW* overall fatalities during surgery were among those with a BMI over 75.) WLS doesn't cure obesity or food issues. You can choose healthier ways to manage your stress than putting more or the wrong food in your mouth. Before you have surgery you can start putting a plan in place to help you learn alternate ways of dealing with life. Hope that helps.*HUGS*

I gave it some thought and decided to adjust my weight los goal to under 25 BMI. Feeling a little conflicted about this. It makes me that much further from my goal but *sigh* if the goal is health then I suppose the number is incidental. I'm stubbornly refusing to add more gym time at this point but I foresee it becoming necessary. The gym has been the most difficult thing to incorporate into my life because of a recognition that I need to commit to doing it longer term than just reaching a goal. Anything I do to lose weight will probably have to be continued to maintain weight loss and the idea of "MUST" go to the gym more than twice a week is not happy for me, yet. (The gym {jim} N. meaning: an unholy symbol of oppression to my people!!!!) I'm getting so tired of always feeling like a work in progress. *Bigger SIGH*

I don't think I noticed anything for the first few weeks.

I smoked for many years so I do get how hard it is. I didn't have cig cravings after surgery but I know about cig cravings in general. Let me point out that just a few weeks out you are not healed from your surgery. If you smoke just one, you will keep wanting more and smoking can significantly delay healing from ANY injury or surgery. Not worth it. Is it your head hunger looking for something to put in your mouth or are you sure it's nicotine you want?

If it isn't too acidic for you why don't you have some tomato soup?

I had issues (and still do sometimes) with aversions and just being sick of the whole thing. Honestly, the best thing I could do was just pre-make what figured I could stand and then find other things to do and enjoy. Enjoying food when most comes with some aversion and more than a few bites hurts anyway can be difficult. Using this time to accept your relationship with it, as it used to be, is over (and this isn't such a bad thing) might be helpful. The difficulties you're currently having aren't uncommon... transition is difficult. Your body is adjusting to less food, different qualities of food, etc. It might be time to work on that translating into how you think and feel about your food issues.

The video was an awesome explanation of the process that takes us to "All or Nothing" thinking. Very, very good info. Thank you for sharing it OKCPirate. :-)

@@Mountaingal As you go through this process please share these things with others. If your experience is similar to others I have talked to, it will be a shifting thing. (congrats on making progress :-) )

I almost always have boiled eggs, low fat string cheese, cherry tomatoes, cut up veggies and grapes in the fridge. In a hurry I can put handfuls of stuff in Ziploc bags and be on my way. I'm usually home at lunch time. Being a grazer, I have a place in the fridge of the stuff I can graze on whenever I want through the day - the desire to do this has decreased dramatically over time. I re-stock it before I go to bed every night for the next day with cut up veggies, fruit and sugar free Gelatin.

I don't always tell people I've had WLS. I have used it as an excuse with family. (In other situations I just identify an ingredient the offending food surely contains and claim I have an intolerance or allergy to it")

Points I should have made, strongly, in my previous reply are: 1. Post op your tummy is probably having swelling, paralysis and NERVE DAMAGE from the procedure. You may not be "feeling" a lot for several weeks or even a few months. 2. Weight loss can get a slow start in the first few weeks because you aren't getting enough and your body is conserving. It's temporary and not a big deal, your tummy needs to heal so be gentle with it. 3. WLS doesn't magically cure obesity or the emotional/psychological issues that make destructive eating an acceptable way of dealing with life. You still have to make choices and own the consequences. 4. Obsessing and freaking out over every single pound, eating what you know isn't good for you, judging yourself and feeling like a failure before you even got off the bench, wash, rinse, repeat (ad nauseam!) set you up for that "ALL or NOTHING!!!!!" thinking and self-sabotaging that can totally derail you. If I find myself doing this, ever, I hope someone will have the balls to tell me my head is up my butt so far it's making everything I see look like crap. You're doing great and trying to rationalize hurting yourself FOR NO REASON! Stop it already, sweetheart. It doesn't have to be that way. I urge you to get some therapy with someone who is well versed in addiction and or eating disorders. It might give you some perspective. HUGS

@linedancer718 I'm going to message you privately. Hope you don't mind.