algae82

Hey all, My name is Amy and I have had my band for a little over a year now. The day of my surgery I weighed 277 lbs and as of this morning I weighed 255. I was down to 249 but we went on vacation and I gained some back (although I don't know how because I threw up A LOT while we were gone). I originally decided on having the surgery because I tried EVERYTHING to lose weight. Every diet, every diet pill, exercise, you name it I probably tried it. I have diabetes, PCOS, anxiety and depression. My aunt who I was very close to passed away a few years ago from complications of diabetes. I am pretty much just like her when it comes to my health. I favor her in looks as well. As much as I love and miss her so much, I do NOT want to be like her and die in my 40's. I am 31 now and I have an 8 year old little boy who is my world. I know this is kind of jumbled up right now, I'm just typing as things come to me. I knew that having this surgery was just a tool and not a solution but most days, I feel like it was the WORST decision of my life. I have lost little weight and even though I don't always follow the rules of having a band, for the most part I stick to them. I am so discouraged and tired of throwing up. I told myself before having surgery that I would NEVER let myself throw up because I despise throwing up. And now its a weekly occurance it seems. I've had Fluid removed and then put back in and I am just now to the point where I feel FULL when I eat. I am a stress eater and this past year has definitely been stressful. My husband just returned from our second deployment in September and I feel like a failure. I had all this time to lose weight while he was gone and yet, I lost a measly 20 pounds. Sigh. Sorry for the rambling, but I guess I don't feel like I can really talk to anyone about all of this that REALLY understands. So I probably sound like Crazypants McGee, but I promise I'm not. I'm just a girl who is trying to regain her health and control of her life.

I live in Bardstown but I'm from Louisville and I work in Louisville.

Sometimes it's pbing....but sometimes it's actual vomit.

I don't think I'm necessarily looking to feel full....I think I worded that wrong. Almost always when I eat I eat off of a small plate or saucer and I'm completely satisfied. When my husband and I DO eat out at restaurants I will eat a small portion of whatever he orders. But then there are whole days where I cannot eat ANYTHING. I literally cannot eat. I never know when that will happen. I KNOW that the band isn't a miracle tool. I know I have to work at it still. But as I said before, I don't have much support as far as people to talk to who may be experiencing similar things. And I know I shouldn't be throwing up. I try my very best not to.

Steph04~ As of right now I am at 1500 cals and I haven't been able to exercise much just because of all the changes in our house that happened with reintegrating my husband back in our lives. I don't have a specific Protein goal right now. I strive to choose protein rich foods when I eat, but things like most meats (particularly chicken) get stuck no matter how small of a bite and how well I chew them. It is frustrating! Frederic~ I think I forget that 20 lbs is still an accomplishment. Its just so hard to stay motivated sometimes. I see people who have just recently had surgery and they are down 30, 40, and 50 lbs. Its discouraging and I let my emotions get the better of me. As far as support groups, there aren't many close to where I live. Online is pretty much it for me, but now that I have found this site I plan to utilize it and its resources.