DivaStyleCoach

Hi SweetMama - I'm originally from Michigan - where are you in the state? You could always have your clothes taken in at the cleaners if you aren't a sewer or don't know someone who sews. Don't narrow the legs too much or they will emphasize the little tummy you still have left...you can take in the hips a little and they won't seem so baggy. After you get them tailored once, you usually have to toss them by the second time...they start to look funny if you take them in more than a size or two. Enjoy your loss and enjoy thinking about the new wardrobe you're going to need! Don't forget your exercise while you are losing to help tone and tighten your new body... Congrats on your loss so far!:eek:

Snowboots, I feel your pain... :eek: I LOVE to shop...I HATE big-mouthed, prejudiced sales clerks that think because you're plus-sized that your fashion sense has gone into hiding. And I'm even less impressed with sales clerks that work at plus-size stores that have taken NO INITIATIVE in learning what looks good on their customer! :thumbup: Many many times I have been in Lane Bryant or the Avenue or some such, and see a clerk recommending things to a customer that will not only look awful, but will emphasize all the WRONG things about her figure while overlooking the great features she has! :w00t: I have bought a few "transitional" clothes for my transformation. I'm being banded in mid-November, so I'm figuring that by Christmas, I'll be using them. I caught a very good sale and spent less than $15 per piece for a small capsule wardrobe that will take me through at least a couple of sizes. I, like a lot of others, have multiple sizes in my closet, so I have a few outfits I've been unable to wear for quite a while. What I'll miss most are my collection of suits - I got some really good deals on Tahari suits on EBay. They are excellent quality, and I'll either donate them to Dress for Success or get them to a local consignment shop or back to EBay. I've gotta do an inventory so I know what I've got... I am looking forward to buying small amounts of clothes through my transformation...what I'm really planning for is a big wardrobe overhaul when I reach goal. :eek:

Welcome Scorpyian1! I love your avatar...it's really cute! I'll be banded soon, so reading y'all's descriptions of 'bandster hell' is very educational...I know you'll make it through! I can't WAIT to be banded - I'm ready to be healthier and slimmer.:eek:

Hey Sistas, Been lazy this week - no workout on Monday, Tuesday MY tom hit and it was just a baaaad day :eek: Did walk every morning, but we're in the middle of our crazy season in Admissions (I work for an MBA program) so no lunchtime walks. I have eaten better this week, so I've lost a couple of pounds, but I feel sluggish. Gotta get back out on the street and walk at lunch today and tomorrow. Having a SistaGirl dinner with friends on Friday, so probably no workout that evening, but I'll go to the gym Saturday and Sunday to help catch up. Everybody check in! :eek:

Hey y'all! Just co-signing with y'all on Heba - I really LIKED her in the beginning, now I absolutely can't stand the b*tch! She went on and on about Amy's husband - WTF??? So you're going to punish the wife because YOU'RE obsessed with her husband and what he thinks of YOU? Please get OVER yourself! I also put nasty Vicki in that class...she and her husband are SO crappy! Everytime she comes on the screen with another snide remark I want to scream! They are definately going to turn on Heba when the time comes - she better watch her back, cause they've got a knife aimed at it. All the nasty remarks they were making during the last challenge...HATE THEM! I really like Colleen as well - I felt so bad for her when her dad was voted off...I just LOVE the black team. She told the catty blue team to shut up when they were talking smack during the challenge. Good for her! If I had a choice, I'd definately want Jillian as MY trainer. I have both of her books and will be using them to reshape my body as I progress. I was following another workout, but I'm switching. I didn't know she had a Wii fit game - now there's another reason for me to get one! :eek:

On the subject of scarring and keloids... I saw a recommendation for Kelo-Cote scar gel for keloids. I found it on EBay for a very reasonable price and tried it. Now, I'm not the best at putting it on morning and night as they suggest, but I am definately noticing a change in the keloids I have from my abdominal surgery over a year ago. The smallest one at the top (looks like it was right where a staple broke the skin) is softer now, and the larger scar (runs about 3 - 4 inches, top to bottom down the middle of my tummy right below my belly button) is a little softer. I've been using the gel about a month...and as I said, I've not been as regular as I should. I do recommend it - so far, I'm seeing results and I have hope, which I didn't have BEFORE finding the gel. I too, love the Serenity Prayer, saninbham - my dear mother introduced me to it, and I need it every single day. Thanks a bunch for having this forum where I can get my questions answered by women like me and pass along helpful tips for women like me!:eek:

I have a band date! :Dancing_biggrin::w00t::party::w00t::crying: My final consult with the surgeon is scheduled for November 11th, and my surgery date is November 17th! :wub::w00t::wub::w00t::wub: I'm so excited I can't stand it! It feels like it's been a long time coming, but now it's real! I'm going to do my pre-surgery shopping for stuff I'll need when I get home, and I've already arranged for Thanksgiving week off (we were supposed to travel out of town) and my surgery is the week before that, so I'll have effectively two weeks off from work to recover. I can't wait! I'm so excited to REALLY begin my banded life!:wub:

Fanny - I'm SO happy for you...enjoy the romantic feelings and don't worry about the timing. When it's right, it's right, and he sounds like a really good guy... Have fun!:Dancing_biggrin:

saninbham - You are eloquent, persuasive and absolutely right!:wub::wub::wub: I love the fact that my sistas of color are here for me. I love the fact that this and all of the other sub-forums exist - I am a member of the Fabulous 40's forum, a geographic-centered forum for those of us in Connecticut, and I'll soon be a member of a date-specific forum because I just got my band date in November!!!:Dancing_biggrin::biggrin::party::biggrin::crying: I don't see it a seperatist to have different forums for different "interest" groups - and it is a shame if anyone sees the different groups as seperatist for ANY reason...not just the obvious one of race. I'm not going to repeat what saninbham said - she said it beautifully. Just wanted to co-sign, agree and give her a virtual high-five and an AMEN!:wub:

LastOption - I'm still here with you! Friday - usual walk in the am with DD and DDog - just about 1 mile. Every day, this is the minimum that I do. Lunchtime at work, I walk another 1 - 1.25 miles depending on the weather. Saturday - hauled wood with DH for our new fireplace. He got some salvaged wood from work, brought it home in his truck, and we hauled it around the yard and cut it up (gotta love a chop saw). It was heavy - 6 x 6 pieces about 15 feet long, some 4 x 10 pieces 15 feet long. It was all hardwood, so it was HEAVY! All that bending and lifting had my legs a little sore. Sunday - more wood hauling, plus I got to use the AX! Swinging one of those babies over your head and splitting big chunks of wood is great exercise. I got "Brute Squad" points once I found my groove and started splitting like a pro. Then we hauled wood inside the house (trips up and down the stairs)...I was so tired Sunday night I fell asleep on the couch in DH's arms.:wub: Walked the dog this morning - faster than normal, because it was so COLD outside! Will walk at lunch, but no gym tonight - DD's job is having an open house for family and parents and we have to attend. Will check in with more this week...:biggrin:

Good morning Warriors! Active weekend for me - Friday I did my primarily lower-body workout, and wobbled to my car. Saturday morning up to walk with DD and DDog - normal pace, but I felt a little less 'springy' in my step since I KILLED my lower body at the gym on Friday. Saturday - helped hubby haul wood for the fireplace. He was lucky enough to get some reclaimed timbers from work and loaded them into his truck and brought them home. We hauled and cut timbers (gotta love a chop saw) for a few hours in the afternoon, then both fell asleep on the couch...:thumbup: Sunday - actually helped use the AX to split wood today. After the first couple of swings, I got a good stroke going and was splittin' like a pro. Of course that means my shoulders and arms are a little sore this morning, along with my legs (lots of bending and up and down the stairs carrying wood into the basement) but I feel pretty strong. Got my 'Brute Squad' card from the hubby for the effort in splitting wood...:biggrin: Walked DDog with DD this morning - cold air made us move right along, so we made it faster than normal today. Will do my lunchtime walk, but no workout tonight because DD's job is having family night and serving us all dinner. Keep on keepin' on!:thumbup:

Just had to post this... I just finished reading a book by Rev. T.D. Jakes called "Before You Do" in it, he discussed his "80/20 Rule" which was used in Tyler Perry's movie "Why Did I Get Married?". His theory is that when we marry, we are looking for someone who has 100 percent to contribute to us and to the marriage. This perfect person does not exist, and at best, our flawed, human spouses can bring as much as 80 percent of what we need to a marriage. Sometimes this is enough, but over time, you (in this case, the man) begins to see the effects of time and maturity, and longs for the other 20 percent. He can become more aware of what he thinks he's missing and starts looking. When you're looking for something, you usually find it, so he encounters someone who seems to have it all. This perception is an illusion...the other person doesn't have 100 percent either. They have the 20 percent that you feel you're not getting from the spouse at home. That's why affairs come with such a rush of passion and romance, idealism and inspiration. It's only when they really get to know the other person (if they ever do) that they realize it's fool's gold - all glitter and little substance - and by that time, it may be too late. They've gotten stuck with their 20-percenter, and lost the chance to keep the 80-percenter. The relationship can continue - it's just a matter of HOW it will continue. Will you "endure" or can you get back to "enjoy"? I've answered this question by deciding to "enjoy"...I have made it clear that I'm going to ask questions and probe for answers. :w00t: I will no longer allow him to change the subject or "decide" he doesn't want to talk about it, and I will not settle for vague answers. :cool2: If he wants this relationship, this marriage to continue, then he's got to open up. It's not easy for him to do, and it won't be easy for me to hear, but I'm committed to this decision. Meanwhile, I'm doing what Jleemc is doing - making sure I don't need him financially and building my future. If it doesn't work out, I'll be ready. If it does work out, I'll still be ready. :smile: My hubby and I are at a crossroads...my youngest graduates high school next summer, and that will be the deciding point. He knows he's on probation - he'd rather just forget about it, but I'm not ready to do that yet...I want to stay with him, yet the memories of his betrayal (minor though it may seem to some) are still very fresh and hurtful. :frown: Only time will tell...

Checking in... Fast walk to the train station last night - left work a little late, and rather than slow drag and wait for the next one, I hustled my butt and caught it. I was huffing and puffing, but it was fun! This morning I was up with the alarm and walked DDog with DD - DH is working the midnight shift, so he's not available. Going to the gym tonight, still got a workout to make up on Saturday. Posting to this topic keeps me honest - I know if I don't work out, I'll have to admit it to you guys, and I certainly don't want to do that!:rolleyes2:

SNT - where are you, girlfriend? Check in and let us know how you're doing? :rolleyes2: Lulu - the puppies are SOOOOO cute! I want one...but my Bull Mastiff won't hear of another "puppy" (my pet name for him, along with Fuzzball) in the house right now. :thumbdown: *stamping feet* I wanna be in Bandland! Waaaah! Hurry up and schedule me already, people!

Definately go shopping! You deserve to look great while you are losing!:wink2: My recipe for a great Capsule Wardrobe - pick 3 colors (i.e. black, white, red), then buy the following: Main color - buy 4 pieces: jacket, skirt, pant, top Accent color - buy 3 pieces: jacket, skirt, top Light color - buy 3 pieces: jacket, pant, top Mix and match all of the above to create 10 or more outfits. Jackets can be worn when you drop a size, as can tops. Picking pants or skirts with an elastic waist makes them adjustable as well through one or more sizes (depending on the style). Don't spend a LOT for these pieces, because as you drop a couple more sizes, you'll probably replace a lot of these things for better clothes. When you reach your goal, use the same principle to buy really good clothes, build 2 or 3 capsules for different uses, and away you go! You can build casual capsules, dressy capsules, etc. And you don't have to buy all 10 pieces - you can use the same theory with fewer pieces. You'll have fewer outfits, but the principle is the same. Have fun shopping ladies! If you want a color diagram of the Capsule Wardrobe, shoot me an email - I'll be glad to send you one. I created them when I was teaching classes and repping Weekender clothes (they are out of business, unfortunately)...:laugh:

Just read this thread...how's everyone doing? Prayers going up for you, Ms Reeda - have you heard from your doctor? Travel Lady - be patient, my dear...let the antibiotics do their job, you just keep eating healthy and moving as much as you can, and you'll be in great shape for the surgery! Much love, ladies!:wink2:

Hey Ladies, I chose the Band because the surgery is less invasive (though they do bypass laparascopically, the re-routing of my digestive tract scared me), and because the weight loss is slower and mostly still up to me! My personality is such that I'm a bit of a control freak - I don't like not having options...with the band I have options. I can have it tightened when I'm not losing fast enough, and I can have it loosened when I reach my goal. The recovery time is faster, and I'll have much fewer challenges with malabsorption (if any at all). My biggest issue? Really a non-issue - I'll have to switch to chewable vitamins!:wink2: I'm hoping there are Vitamins available that can duplicate what I'm taking now and I won't have to chew for days to get the dosages I want. I'm looking forward to being banded - hopefully soon!:laugh:

Hey Sistas, My journey has been relatively short compared to some of you...I started thinking about WLS because a sistafriend at work was supporting her husband through his bypass surgery. She had also been bypassed and lost about 100 lbs, but has more to go. She didn't seem to have any of the complications I've heard about - but then she is a focused and very intelligent woman who strictly followed doctor's orders.:wink2: Her hubby is doing very well - off all of his diabetes meds, and he seems to have lost about 60 - 70 pounds. So I considered the bypass, but in doing my research, I preferred a laparascopic surgery option, plus I didn't want the malabsorptive problems of the bypass. I researched further and found the Band. Since then, I've been through my nutritionist's consultation and the psych eval (both with flying colors) and I've attended two support group meetings (one for bypass patients, one for banders). I'm now waiting for them to schedule my last one-on-one with the surgeon and the pre-op stuff at the hospital, and then I'll get my date to be banded. :laugh: I can't wait - the prospect of a healthier life - off the medication - is one that I've only dared dream about. I cannot do this on my own - I've been fighting my weight since I was 12 years old and I keep getting heavier every year. I'm so glad to have found this forum - I love being in the company of like-minded women who will understand me and my issues...thank you all for being here, and for creating this safe space for us to come together. :laugh:

Hey Ladies! I like this challenge - my goal is to get in my gym workouts 4 days per week. I get 30 minutes every day without fail because my family goes to walk the dog every morning. He's a house dog, so to avoid the messes, we have trained him to go outside the house. My DH, DD and I go every morning to walk him - approx a mile from our house to the high school and back. I also walk at lunchtime at work - my current route is a little over a mile, and I walk that 5 days per week (weather permitting). That's another 30 minutes, and I'm trying to get my time down. My challenge to myself is to keep up my 4-day a week gym habit - I work upper body and lower body on each day, and rotate the bodyparts so I don't work the same muscles two days in a row. I'm holding steady with my weight (I still eat too much and I'm a diabetic) and I haven't yet been banded. Nice to see so many of us working on gaining an exercise habit!:wink2:

Congrats and Welcome, Miss Rach! I can't wait until I'm banded and I can post positive updates like yours. Looking forward to seeing your smiling face when your photo is uploaded. Nice to have another sista on the boards. For pattygreen - please don't be offended by the fact that women of color have CHOSEN to "band" together for support. As saninbham said, there are issues around weight and weight loss that are PARTICULAR to women of color, so that is what we choose to discuss here. It's not meant to exclude or offend anyone - and if you are offended or feel excluded, it's on YOU not us. I for one was THRILLED to find this thread - because there ARE issues I feel much more comfortable talking with my sistagirls about than other folks on the boards - we have common ground. I'm hoping you understand, but if you don't - simply don't visit this part of the site - then you won't have to be upset...

I seriously think you need to get a second eval...I mean really! This person sounds as if she had HER mind made up before you ever walked into her office. :wink2: It sounds to me that you are an ambitious, intelligent, focused and driven woman - EXACTLY the kind of person what will treat the band as the TOOL that it is and not as something to do all the work FOR them. :laugh: You are eating better, working out regularly, and your family is supportive of your efforts. You've done your research and you are an informed patient and consumer. :eek: I say to H*LL with her - get a second opinion, and by the way - send her a letter informing her of how badly her 'assumptions' made you feel - she needs to know the effect her ill-chosen words are having! Stand your ground, girlfriend - I think you are READY for this, and I wish you all good luck and fantastic results!:laugh:

Checking in... Tuesday night workout was good - not quite as good as Monday, but still soreness-inducing, cause I went up on poundages and concentrated on my form. Got an unsolicited thumbs-up from one of the big guys at the gym who told me "it's nice to see girls on the serious side of the weight room"...:cool2: I gave him the benefit of the doubt and didn't hit him with the plate I had just taken off of the olympic bar... No weights on Wednesday, but helped my hubby clean up / out the basement...we just installed a fireplace insert, and are constructing a wood rack in the basement for intermediate storage. We've got quite a bit outside, but it's a bit wet, so putting it inside the house will help with that. Amazing how much DIRT can accumulate in a basement!:tt2: No walk this morning - stayed up late watching the debate (zzzzz....) and playing with hubby but I will walk at lunch. No gym tonight - community organization meeting, so I'll have to make it up over the weekend. Carry on, y'all! :thumbup:

Hey Tina, You are not weird or strange...though I haven't been through EXACTLY what you have, I have a lot of the same feelings. Keep going to counseling - both of you! You are wanting details, but they may be more hurtful than satisfying. When I first noticed my hubby's online flirting, I asked a lot of the same questions...Why? He also said "I don't know"...whether that was an attempt to spare my feelings or he truly didn't remember I don't know. Your hubby may NOT remember why he started the whole thing...or he may remember exactly why and doesn't want to tell you for fear of hurting you further and deteriorating the fragile peace you had previously achieved. Don't hold the frustration in - get it out, but try to find ways that don't tear him down as a person. If the majority of interactions with you are negative, he may start to avoid you. You have an absolute RIGHT to be angry, I'm just suggesting you find another way to express the anger. You do need an outlet for the anger - have you considered a punching bag? Seriously - it might help to have something to hit (besides him) to get out the anger and aggression you are feeling - put her picture on it and whale the hell out of it...I'll repeat - YOU ARE NOT WEIRD... It will take time to get through and past this - you will never forget, but you may be able to work toward forgiveness. Do you journal? I have found that writing things down helps me. I read back at some of the things I've written when we were going through difficult times, and I'm surprised. Keep moving forward, my friend - I am rooting for you to come through this in a healthy and strong way. You have accomplished a whole lot, and this is NOT going to beat you! Keep YOUR health and well-being primary in your head...you HAVE to be there for your kids. Be honest with him about how his silence makes you feel, and try to create a safer space for him to express what HE'S going through. If he feels it will be the final straw in your relationship, he may never open up...he may have blocked out what he was thinking because he doesn't want to revisit that shamefully selfish period of his life. Perhaps he doesn't want to believe he's that type of person, but his actions (and reviewing his motivations) hurts him...not that it is an excuse, but it's a possibility. Oh -obligatory disclaimer - I am not a therapist or counselor, just another woman who sympathizes and empathizes with your pain and what you're going through... I pray it gets easier for you...

Hiya! I used Bare Minerals for a while - my primary complaint was that the colors are all "warm" or yellow-based, while my coloring is more "Cool" or blue-based. I am african-american, so color matching was paramount for me. I found the color close, but no cigar. When I walked at lunchtime, if I sweated, the color would come right off...not really good. Also, I didn't like having to carry so many products - two foundations, the oil-absorbing-shine-reducing product, and all those brushes! I'm more of a minimalist with makeup, though I do like a more dramatic look (which is probably a contradiction). I am a rep for Artistry cosmetics (associated with Amway Global) and they just came out with their own mineral makeup, so I use that. One pot - just for foundation) and a small compact which holds blush and three eyeshadows. I like the color match to my skin, and it seems to stay on better even when I sweat. I know people that SWEAR by bare minerals - just wasn't the right product for me...

Had to jump in here... I'm with y'all about the change in Heba - she seemed like such a good person initially, but when she split the couples up, I was pissed off! I don't care what the husband said to her or did to her, you don't split up couples. I can't stand that brown couple - snarky, disrespectful and scheming...I wish they'd just GO HOME! :thumbup: I :cool2: Colleen - I feel her pain not having her dad with her and worrying about him and how he's doing. His health was the worst of anyone I've ever seen on the show - I'm so glad he's doing well at home. I was NOT sorry to see purple mom go home - she was a whiner - but her progress photos and video were awesome! She did a very good job at home - I softened my view of her after I saw how well she did and how loving her relationship with her hubby seems to be. The mother-daughter dynamic about the divorce was hard to watch...I completely understand her feelings about being 'abandoned'. Why take two children but not the third? No way would I have left my children - any of them...but the call to her father was sweet - he gave her permission to be close to her mom and not feel funny about it, like she was betraying him. That's crucial in those type of relationships. I'll be tuning in next week as well - and I agree about the constant commercialism - STOP IT ALREADY!