DivaStyleCoach

I hear ya, Tap...my 'paranoid radar' is up and active right now...no one hears anything but "I'm great! How are you?" I've even kidded around and joked with the object of my disdain today - since she's so 'sensitive' to my being 'unwilling to accept feedback' I've made sure to treat her like any one else here in the office. We'll see what a weekend away brings...I know for me, it will be VERY NICE to get out of here!:sad:

PJTP...I'm so glad its my Friday! :w00t::w00t::w00t: Work is weird - like everyone thought, it's a very strange atmosphere. The other folks in the office (managerial types) are staying away from me. No one's even said anything to me today except one person who asked for something to be copied. I guess during the managerial-types meeting yesterday I WAS the topic of conversation. It's sad, ya know...:sad: I'm doing okay...sad more than anything else. I feel betrayed and stabbed in the back - especially since I considered this woman my friend-at-work. Not best friends by any stretch of the imagination, but at least friendly. THAT is definately over now...I'm keeping her at arm's length from now on. You don't get a chance to do that to me twice! :tt2: Will document everything...extensively! Thanks to everyone for the advice and good wishes...I need them right now. I'm kinda depressed about the whole thing, but I put on my 'game face' and no one knows. My fellow clericals in the back room are very offended on my behalf and keep asking how I'm doing. :thumbup: More than anything, right now I feel vulnerable...and it's not a feeling I enjoy. Plain - thanks for the reminder about HR stuff - I'm going to check my contract and familiarize myself with the discipline progression - for me, knowledge is power, and I want to be sure I'm being treated fairly. I don't want special treatment, just want to be treated like anyone else would be... I don't think that's too much to ask.

Thanks, Slim...I really appreciate that! Sometimes stupid stuff will have you doubting your own value and knowledge...this was one of those times for me. I thought things were going pretty well before this... Thank you so much, Susan - I really needed that cyber-hug! :wub: My supervisor did say that she felt I "didn't take feedback well" - I take that to mean she's intimidated by me. We're similar in height, she's about 50 - 60 lbs below me (she had WLS also - bypass) and I guess I scare her. She's younger than I am by about 11 years - though I thought I always treated her with respect because of her position. She can be difficult to talk to - she is impatient and tends to cut off conversation quickly. She knows this and has mentioned it herself, so I'm not sure where this all came from. I think she's not very experienced as a manager and doesn't really know how to handle me. In thinking about it, I tried to review our interactions in my mind to see if I unintentionally 'scared' her at some point and I can't come up with a thing! :glare: Great advice, luluc - I'll do that right away. I have some spiral notebooks around that I'll be using from now on to document everything. I'll also off-site backup my emails to make sure there are no issues on the company computer. Yep, I'm a little paranoid on the system stuff - I know how those techies can be (since I am one)... Great advice, and thank you, Tap! :wub: I've been careful to keep her in the loop today, speaking to her as if nothing has happened. I think she was expecting fallout, but I'm going to kill her with kindness, so to speak. She won't be able to say anything about my 'attitude'...and my union rep did say that I may have to 'manage up' because she seems to have issues with that. I bet there's a great story there! Thanks to everyone for the expressions of support and advice - they are so welcome and appreciated! :wub::wub::wub: I'll be fine - like I told my union rep, I didn't make it to be 46 years old and not know how to handle stuff like this...they will not be able to say another blessed word about my job performance!:mad2:

PJTP...I am so NOT in a good mood!:glare::cursing: Just got back from the "meeting"...what it turned into was a bi*ch and moan session about my job performance. The past couple of weeks I've had a detail issue or two (lots of detail in this job) and I have slipped up a couple of times. That turned into "serious performance issues" and then morphed into a "you don't take feedback well"...WTF??? Well, at least I know why I've had that pain in my right shoulder for the past few days, it's because of the knife sticking out of my back! My supervisor took the opportunity to turn a couple of troubled days into a theme and made it seem like I don't do my job. I'm pissed, but resolute. I'll leave this place when I'm da*n good and ready, and no insecure idiot is gonna make me leave until then! So it's strictly professional from this point forward, taking extra effort to dot the i's and cross the t's, and I DARE them to say anything else about my job performance! I'm not happy, but now that I've calmed down, there was SOME validity to what they were saying - the past couple of weeks I've missed some details. It definately won't happen again, and I really don't think it had to go to this level. My supervisor said she didn't feel comfortable giving me feedback because I didn't recieve it well. She's referring to ONE incident where she told me that I couldn't express that I had challenges with the job because someone else in the staff meeting did. That person is the favored one, and just because she says something doesn't mean the rest of us can...ooookay...so I didn't. I expressed a little concern about my work load after the favored one bit*hed and moaned, and that turned into "we have questions about your ability to do your job." When she finished with that statement I asked if she was done. She took that to mean I wasn't listening and didn't tell me any of the OTHER concerns they supposedly had. That was over a month ago, and she's had plenty of opportunity to tell me if they had performance issues with me. She did not - instead, she does it in this meeting. WTF? Stuff that was brought up includes things that happened when I first started on the job in June of last year, which I thought had been covered already. Guess not... I'll be watching my back more carefully from now on, and making sure my performance is at 100%, no matter what. Guess 90% isn't good enough...

This is where we part company - abuse takes many forms, and some of them take YEARS to show...just because she has a number of children and they are all relatively well, that does not mean that she's prepared to handle the preemies. Bringing the President into this is just so far afield that it doesn't even register... She created this circus environment - she should suck it up and deal with it. Her priority should be taking care of the children and proving that she CAN be a good mother to them, not in seeking celebrity everywhere she turns. I pray for the babies' sake that all turns out well, but I just don't have a good feeling about all of this. I think she's in WAAAY over her head and can't admit it...:smile:

Midlife moment...that's too funny! :smile: That's quite alright...we should definately tell folks at the meetings that we're on LBT and how to find us there in case they want to feel like they "know someone" here when they jump in. I think we should definately promote LBT, because I would not be nearly as successful with my band without my online fam!

Definately an Escalade - with 24-in spinner rims! :wub: ROFLMBO...:mad::wub: Oh Fanny - that's just PERFECT! Came in to work this morning and found a note from my supervisor: "I was told that I was not clear enough in my description of the meeting. We will be meeting to discuss your performance in the position." WTF????? More updates after the meeting - this is really getting my dander up! :smile:

PJTP...Thanks for all the good wishes...rabbit's feet, lucky charms, prayers, influence from the ancestors and the elements, all are welcome! :sneaky: :thumbdown: :mad2: I just heard back from one of our union reps, who will be there for the meeting tomorrow, and sent the HR Director an email to let her know the union person would be there, so SHE isn't blindsided. Here's hoping my fears are totally unfounded, but in this current business climate (and they just had a round of job cuts and layoffs in my part of the university) it pays to be safe, not sorry.:confused:

PJTP... My apprehensions about my job seem to be dead on...I've just been told that there is a meeting scheduled tomorrow at 9:30 am with the Director of Human Resources for the part of the college that I work for, and that I am to attend. It's about the "upcoming changes in my job description" (quote not exact) because we are moving from a paper application to an electronic one. I'm curious and wary, because a change to my job description should probably also have been cleared through our union. I fired off an email to my union person, and they will have someone there at the meeting with me. I'm sure that won't go over well, but at this point, and with all the changes going on around here, plus the history of acrimony between my employer and the unions, I'm not taking any chances. I don't know what's going to happen, but I know I don't want to walk in there and get blindsided. I half-jokingly asked if I needed to wear my asbestos underwear, and when I got a confused look from my manager (she's from Trinidad and may not understand the phrase) I asked if I was in trouble. She didn't give me a really straight answer, just said that the meeting was to make sure that everyone was clear on expectations. I'm VERY wary of this...not sure why the short notice, but I'm going in there loaded for bear, so to speak. I'm going to bring a copy of my latest performance review with me, and have a pad and pen for taking copious notes. Any changes that are to be made probably should be made in writing for the protection of all parties. The fact that we're meeting with the HEAD of human resources and not the lower-level contact person that I always talk to on hr issues makes me very wary. We'll see what happens...I'm wearing my power suit tomorrow for additional confidence! :thumbdown:

I LOVE researching my family tree...my mother's family is easier to find than my dad's, for some odd reason. I am French / Creek / Jewish / Caucasian / African-American on my mother's side, and African-American / Choctaw / Caucasian / ? on my father's side. I'd love to pair a visit to my DD in Virginia when she starts school with a genealogical research trip to find more about my father's side of the family. He was born in Richmond, but I don't know much beyond that. It's hard to find the records sometimes... Complicate the mixed ethnic heritage with the fact that a lot of names / records / places were lost during the bad old days of slavery, plus a lot of my older relatives are now "gone to glory" and you have a very curious puzzle that I'm only too happy to try and unravel! :thumbdown:

Hi Glouc, I've been at the university just about 2 years, with this particular department just under 1 year (June will be a year). No proof of weirdness, but I do have independent corroboration of the file challenges from last week - I suspect it's been going on longer than that, but can't prove it. :mad2: Relationship with my manager - it's weird. :confused: We have some things in common, but more not. She's younger than I am by about 10 years, better educated (she was an attorney before stepping back into admissions work). We're both WLS patients - she had a bypass, me the band. We used to talk about our victories and challenges, but not so much now. I'm not sure if she's getting pressure from above, or our 'friendship' wasn't what I thought it was. Maybe I'm just feeling emotional today - normally stuff doesn't bother me like this, but the past three weeks or so I've been getting what feels like a lot of "your work isn't up to par" messages from above. Don't have any overt, in-your-face signals that someone's out to get me, but ya never know. I'm in no-woman's land between being part of the clerical crew and being just below management. Level C and D (most of the clericals here) are pretty plentiful, I'm the only level E (just below management). The managers are non-union. I'm the newest non-manager in the department. When the layoffs at the university were announced, our union rep came to see all of us and said that unless our jobs were eliminated (not just reassigned) our contract said we couldn't be laid off. It's nothing big - no big blow ups or upheavals, but just a general sense that I'm not living up to their expectations. Nothing firm, but maybe that's coming this afternoon. Who knows? I'm going to try not to stress about it and get myself all worked up - if they are determined to get rid of me, there isn't really much I can do, but I'm also not going to tuck my head between my legs and run. :thumbdown: I'll take a wait-and-see attitude before I go into battle mode...:sneaky:

PJTP...I'm having a "to hell with it day"... I generally like my job, and most of my co-workers. But recently, it seems like I can do nothing right. The work I prepare isn't good enough, the files aren't right, there's stuff missing (that I had nothing to do with - filewise) etc, etc, etc. When I'm trying to get stuff ready for committee, I'm finding random files thrown in with the stuff that IS ready, and if I don't find them before I take the files down, it looks like I don't know what I'm doing. I've got a meeting with my supervisor this afternoon, and I'm not sure what to expect. This is not something that happens to me a lot - normally, my performance is never questioned on any job that I have. It's just this one where I feel like I'm climbing uphill and can't gain any ground. Because of all the layoffs going around, I'm feeling really paranoid - like I'm being targeted. That old saying "Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean people AREN'T out to get me" is running through my head. I've got to get out of this office for just a couple of minutes to clear my head before I either kill someone or collapse into a teary heap on my desk. Add to that the fact that I nearly PB'ed on canned fruit this morning, and it's just not a good day so far... I'll be back later...

Unfortunately, it's not quite that simple...a lot of porn sites also bring viruses and such with them. As a former IT Director, I can't tell you the number of times I've been asked to rebuild a friend's computer because one of their kids (or maybe the hubby) downloaded something from a porn site (or just a site that featured naked women) and along with the pictures came a virus. If she's okay with him looking at it, perhaps he should get his own computer to do so, that way she will not run into it, and they can share his activities on his computer, where no household files (think bills, banking, finances, investments) could be compromised. Just one more angle to consider...

Sunshine - I've heard whispers during the "goodbye" hugs from the trainers before the decision time every week after weighing in, but sometimes they don't listen. It will be interesting to see if they try and influence this week's vote as well, or if they try to play peacemaker with Ron, Mike and the rest of the group...

Sounds like an abusive relationship to me...I wonder if he is paying "penance" for something, or she's just that obnoxious? Ya almost want to call a domestic violence hotline for the guy, but I'm afraid they wouldn't take it seriously...I almost feel for the guy, and I don't even know him! :eek: I know my DH wouldn't take that for very long...but it's taken him a while to get that way. Let's just say the ex-bi*ch did a real head job on him, and I had to do some repair work to his self-esteem. No one should be treated that way...

PJTP... We should add that to the "You know you're a Bandster..." thread... You know you're a Bandster when...you eat the same thing 4 days in a row because cooking a "normal" size portion means 4 days of leftovers! :eek::wink::w00t:

jmegirl - I haven't tried rechargeable batteries, but I get about a week out of normal non-rechargeables right now. ddgalarza - that sounds like a good deal - if I lived near a 24-hr fitness, I'd probably have done that. Yes, the version 2 bodybugg (grey) is a bit bulky, but then, the weight I've lost since I bought mine means my clothes don't fit as tightly in the arms, so most of the time, no one can tell I've got it on! :eek: Of course, when I take off my jacket to show someone my "guns" - :wink: - it does start some interesting conversations. :cool2: I wear mine from approximately 5 am when I wake up to walk DDog until 10 or 11 when I turn in for the night. I get about a week from a standard battery. I only upload at night, just before bedtime. It's a bit of a head game I play with myself - if I upload earlier, I might see that I've burned more calories and eat more. Since I only upload at night, I find I've been eating better during the day to make sure I don't overeat my activity level. I use the step counter only to keep myself honest - I judge my progress more by the number of minutes of an activity and my percieved level of exertion than by the step counter. Of course with today's rainy weather, I'll have to row extra time (or extra hard) tonight to make up for my missed walk at lunch...:w00t:

Nice to see ya, Ceradad - my DH and I own a timeshare near Orlando as well. We almost sold it this year, then decided that with DD off to college, we'll finally get to USE it more. The past two trips got cancelled because of DD's school stuff going on...:w00t: I'm looking forward to my vacation this year - July in Florida for a family reunion...thanks to my band, I'll be in much better shape to wear a swimsuit this year! :cool2: Thinking about another timeshare in the Richmond, VA area where DD will be in school - then I can go visit her every year if I want, plus I have "roots" in that area...so it would be nice to have a 'home base' to do genealogical research from...

Thanks, Slim...DD really is a wonderful kid - no one's perfect, and we've had our moments, but I am torn between wanting the best for her (getting out and spreading her wings) and not wanting to lose my friend! I know I'll be a teary mess when she leaves...it'll be hard not to make HER cry...we are both puddles at times. DH is so much better about this stuff - at least on the surface. He plays strong, but I think when she goes, he'll be in a bit of a funk for a few days. Then we'll realize we have some extra freedom and the fun will begin again!:smile2:

Hi Chris! What meeting did I miss? I went to the LapBand meeting in New Haven on Temple Street - is there another one?

Wow - that's definately a revelation for me...Vicki was one of my least favorite contestants on BL, and I'm a bit surprised that she needed therapy after the show because of the way she was portrayed. Hmmm...guess I'll not be taking what I see on the show too seriously from this point forward. I often wondered if she (or the other contestants I disliked) knew how their behavior would be portrayed on national TV and if they ever regretted things said or done. It's unfortunate that they show sees fit to manipulate the 'reality' portion of the show to elevate the drama and make things more 'juicy'. Too bad...:smile2:

Hi Mj, I purchased mine on EBay - found one that was gently used, had lots of pics, and from a seller not too far away. I think it was $130. The new ones are over $200. I did pay an additional $99 for the first 6 months of monitoring, and I think it's $99 per year after that. I had no trouble re-registering the Bugg under my name - they do come with a trial monitoring period when you buy them new, and there are even some sellers who sell their used buggs with monitoring left on the contract, but I'm not sure how well that part works. I would count on paying for monitoring. After all I've spent on failed attempts to lose weight, I felt it was a worthwhile investment in me, and I've seen better results since I "armed" myself with a Bugg! :smile2:

Good morning all, Tina - sounds like you had a wonderful time, and you deserve NOTHING LESS!!!! Good luck and many prayers and blessings are flowing your way for your surgery. Please take pics and keep us updated...those of us still on the journey are with ya!:smile2:

Good morning Bandsters! PJTP... Had a lovely weekend (until Sunday - see below). Took DD to Virginia State Univ for a college visit. She's already been accepted, so we took advantage of the Saturday college visit day they scheduled and went down. Rain on Friday night made getting there a bit of an adventure, but we arrived just fine, got our rental car and found the hotel, then collapsed and slept. Because of being banded, I didn't eat a lot of junk food like I would have on previous travel days... Saturday was beautiful - sunny and warm, and the college visit was a big hit. DD can't wait to get there in the fall - as a parent, I appreciated their emphasis on academic achievement and safety, and everyone I met seemed like they really wanted to take care of my DD in addition to helping her get her education. She's going to major in Mass Communications (Radio and Television concentration) and met a group of students from the Mass Comm club right before we left campus, so that was fun as well. Spent the afternoon walking the mall, finding other essential resources (bank, hospital, etc) and looking at campus buildings. Got to tour a dorm room - that was fun as well. Lots of other 'kids' there with their parents, and even met a couple from Connecticut! Sunday we were up at oh-dark-thirty (actually 4:30 am) for a 6:30 flight. Should have known better - the flight didn't leave until after 7 am because the idiots at Delta refueled the wrong plane (delay) and then had too much weight on the plane (people and luggage) so they had to take some off (another delay) and we arrived at LaGuardia just in time to miss our connecting flight. Now the nightmare begins... The staff at the Delta counter were less-than-helpful and the only thing they could offer us was a 4 PM FLIGHT! It was 8 AM IN THE FREAKING MORNING! :smile2::cursing::smile::cursing::wub: I told them no-thank-you-very-much - I could SEE home from the airport, and I was willing to either rent a car and drive it or take the train. The Delta rep then told me the most they could refund was $20 per person (on a just-under-$200-flight) because I'd already "recieved" the value for the flight...WTF??? Off I go to the rental car counters - and NOONE has any cars available for one-way rentals. :wub::cursing: This while also trying to figure out where our luggage had gone. We were told one lie after another: It's on the way, just be patient; then we were told it went to Hartford on the plane we supposedly just missed. Okay - so now luggage-less, we figure out how to ride the airport train / elevated tram to the Long Island Rail station, rode the LIRR to Penn Station in NY, and then rode Amtrak to New Haven. I'm in familiar territory, so I'm starting to relax. Of course that didn't stop me from PBing everything I tried to eat on the train! :cursing: Because I'm diabetic, I have to eat "on the regular", so I try to, but it just wasn't happening yesterday...we eventually made it to Hartford, and my hubby came and got us and took us to the airport (about a half-hour drive from Hartford, 45 min from my house). He nicely took us to dinner (he knew I was at my limit) and meatloaf and mashed potatoes never tasted so good! :thumbup: Our luggage finally made it to us around midnight last night - what a horrible travel day! DH said he was proud of me for not losing it at some point (he knows my temper) and I was happy I didn't lose it in front of DD. She said she was proud of me, so I was feeling pretty good after all was said and done. On the positive side, my DD is in LOVE with Virginia State, and since she's already been accepted, we paid her first deposit, and she's got a spot secured...:wub:

PJTP...It's gonna be a crazy couple of days!:wink: Today - prep for admissions committee this afternoon - lots of copying, collating and making up packets for the committee folks. They ALWAYS bring files back late, so I'll be doing it again tomorrow morning for a second batch.:confused: I also gotta wait for my boss to sign some letters so we can send out admissions packets. There are over 40 of them to stuff and seal, and they must be gone to Fed Ex by tomorrow, because... Friday afternoon I'm leaving work early because DD and I are off to Virginia State University, where she's been accepted to the Mass Communications / Broadcasting degree program. Leave my office at 3, pick her up at the train station, jet up the freeway to the airport and check in for our 7:30 flights. We won't stop moving until 11-something Friday night when we eventually find our hotel and collapse exhausted.:thumbup: Saturday morning at 8 am (oh-dark-thirty after the late day on Friday) we report to the college for a day-long tour and activities. We'll squeeze in a little sightseeing and dinner and probably turn in early, unless they've got a social activity planned for the visitors, or a party. It's a college campus - there's bound to be a party SOMEWHERE!:tt2: Sunday morning we fly home - pretty early. I'll spend the rest of Sunday recovering and catching up on homework, since I'll have been away from my computer for two days. And...I've still got to configure the new laptop and transfer a ton of files from the old pc to the new one so I can give DD the old pc to take to college with her. :eek: WHEW! I'm tired already, and I'm not even started yet! Vitamins, here I come!:w00t: