DivaStyleCoach

Good morning! What a terrific story - I'm sitting here cheering for you and for your lovely Mom who's helping you. Yes, we are definitely here for you, and willing to help in any way. I was banded in Nov 2008 and lost 85 lbs in 14 months. Got a little cocky and thought I'd 'relax' a bit and regained some of it, but I'm back on the losing side again. It's been 4.5 years since my surgery, and I wouldn't do anything differently. I researched the lap band before undergoing the surgery and was blessed that my employer at the time covered the entire cost. In fact, I was able to have the surgery at THEIR facility. It's listed among the Centers of Excellence, so I felt very confident. They took very good care of me physically, but at the time there wasn't really any training / counseling / coaching on the mental and emotional side of the process. Good luck to you!

I would LOVE to help out by leading or co-leading a Bariatric Pal group in my local area. I used to attend support group meetings in a small city about 20 min from me, but they were all bypass patients and the group wasn't very band-friendly. There is a local support group (new surgery center at our local hospital), but they don't deal much with post-surgery life. They do have good sessions on cooking, etc, but deal mostly with that subject and sometimes Q&A. I am VERY interested in the certification program as well - I believe that would help others in the support community take us more seriously. Here are the more organized answers to your questions: Would you be interested in attending regular local chapter meetings in person? Absolutely YES Would you be interested in being a leader (or co-leader)? Yes - I believe I can be helpful Would you like BariatricPal to provide agendas for meetings? Yes - a framework can be very valuable What additional support could BariatricPal provide to encourage your participation and/or leadership? I love the idea of the certification program Should there be limits on the minimum and maximum numbers of members that each Local Chapter can have? Minimum - perhaps 5, built up over a specified period of time. It would be helpful to have the Chapters promoted here, and possibly through the surgeons in the area. Certification would help with their comfort level on this. What other ideas do you have? Incorporate activities like a Clothing Swap within each group; Shopping trips or having someone come in to discuss where to find clothing while transitioning; coaching / training on how to discuss your decision with family and friends; role-playing to help patients deal with bullies, saboteurs, etc; alternatives and plans for exercise based on patient's current physical condition - often standard "gyms" and trainers can be very intimidating; alternatives to grocery shopping (one of my local grocery stores has a delivery service and a pick up service - could be very helpful for avoiding temptation in the stores).

Like you, I told very few people about my surgery - only my family and a couple of trusted friends. I had my surgery in Nov 2008 and now, over 5 years later, I still am not speaking to some of the people I knew "before". It's as if they had placed me in the category of "fat, safe girlfriend" and when I moved out of the "fat" category, I was no longer "safe". Don't you let ANYONE stop you on your journey to better health! It sounds like you have your head on straight, and that you are strong enough to survive the loss of former 'friends' and keep on stepping. If you had cancer (God forbid) those same people would be encouraging you to do whatever was necessary to prolong your life and to maintain your quality of life. Since your drastic change came about in the form of weight loss, their attitudes now need adjusting. It's that old truth - people don't mind you doing better...as long as you're not doing better than THEY are! Your accomplishment takes away their excuses - once they know someone who has conquered the 'weight problem' they no longer have an excuse for NOT doing the same thing. Hang in there - I know very well the road you are traveling...keep on going until you reach YOUR goal. Don't listen to those who tell you that "You're getting too skinny", or "Haven't you lost enough weight?". Unless you are endangering your health, don't stop until you reach your goal!:-)

OMG - I am praying that you are able to get your service dog soon, or barring that, hopefully there will be a solution to your blood sugar issues. Can they reverse-engineer an insulin pump to do the opposite and help stabilize you by pumping glucose into your system to help your levels? I cannot even imagine dealing with all you've had to go through. Your case should be detailed in the medical journals and used as a teaching point for EVERY bariatric surgeon - heck, every Emergency Room across the country! How could they not see that the band had slipped badly and was now cutting off the blood supply to your stomach? I'm sitting here shaking my head sadly - I know hindsight is 20/20, but dang...someone should have seen this. I'm happy I haven't had any complications from my lap band (banded in 2008), but I'm so sorry all of this has happened to you.

Hi Mad2013! Congrats on getting your surgery date! Woo Hoo! You've now got a date for the start of the rest of your healthy, strong life! In addition to following your doc's orders regarding your eating plan, I would also start now to create an exercise habit - walking, low-intensity aerobics, whatever appeals to you. You can try out a few different things at different intensity levels and you'll have "advance" info for when you are cleared to exercise after surgery. I can tell you without a doubt that my beginning a walking program before my surgery and as soon as I was cleared after my surgery made a big difference in how I felt and how my weight loss went. You do NOT want to overdo it, but you'll be so fired up after your surgery that you want to get out of the gate with a fast start, so to speak. Losing a few extra pounds before surgery will definitely help you to go through it easier. Wishing you all good things!

Hi nuttynettyp (cute screen name, by the way!) I agree with the rest of the bandsters who have chimed in...check your notes from your pre-surgery days - I'm sure there were lots of suggestions on preparing to live a banded life, your mindset, and what you'd be eating after surgery. Since you are likely eating "regular" food, go slowly. Bulkier foods may or may not go down easy. If you're finding that you can eat more and more (quantity) then I'd suggest calling your doc's office and scheduling a fill. If you're still having trouble getting down the foods you used to eat (solids) then re-evaluate what you are eating. Try a new food (especially fruit and veggies) every week or two so you don't get bored. Have you investigated alternative Protein sources? Tried a new fish dish? When my weight loss slowed down and I was hungry all the time, I knew for ME it was time for a fill. Start noticing (and maybe journaling) your feelings and what you're able to eat. You'll develop a feel for when your body is telling you a fill is in order. Try to occupy your time with things other than food. Are you working out? If not, start to develop an exercise routine (walking, videotapes, exercise classes) that works for you. If you are working out, shake up that workout by trying something new and different to help keep you occupied, burning calories, and thinking about something besides food! Definitely check in with your doctor - maybe a repeat visit to the nutritionist is in order to help you develop a plan for the next month or so regarding your eating. Then, as long as you are following the bandster rules (in part - chew, chew, chew!) and losing at a satisfactory rate, you could go a little longer between fills. Don't hesitate to use the resources at your doctor's office as others have suggested. You've lost 34 pounds - that's great! Perhaps it's time to reward yourself with a new pair of cross trainers for your exercise routine, walking shoes if you're a walker, new workout gear to show off your slimmer self, or perhaps a new outfit that you can mix and match with existing clothes in your closet that will also show off your loss so far. Keep going - you're on the right track!

Hi Thea, I was on the fence about WLS for a while - I'd seen success stories, but I wasn't sure this was truly for me. I had been through all the typical methods: liquid Protein, fasting, TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly), Weight Watchers, you name it. It hadn't worked - any of it, because I hadn't make the LIFESTYLE and MINDSET changes that are truly necessary for success. I want to urge you to take your own advice, darling - "Stay strong and believe in Yourself". I'm also an emotional eater - but that can be worked on! I'm also a Type 2 Diabetic, but you can also stay in compliance with that and continue to work on it while you are banded - but you know that... Time with a counselor is a great idea - and you can do it before and after being banded! No, the band isn't a cure-all, WE still have to do some of the work, but all of this can be done together! We are not "fixed" entities - human beings are forever growing and changing...so start the process of getting qualified for your lap-band (if you haven't done this already) and while you are awaiting surgery, keep working on the other mental and emotional issues that you want resolved. Sometimes getting a surgery date "forces" us to pay attention and focus our efforts on being as ready as we can be for the surgery and the lifestyle changes to come afterwards. Its as if the deadline (surgery day) puts the motivation into the situation and we use the deadline to force ourselves to move...I know it was like that for me. I can say that losing weight via the lap-band, at a moderate but steady pace, will help other health issues to resolve - they did for me! I've also seen people who have had other surgeries (what worked for THEM) and the rapid loss can cause some challenges with their physical appearance (just my opinion). I've read studies that indicate that once an individual is 50 lbs overweight or more, willpower is just NOT enough. There are chemical systems in our bodies that literally PREVENT us from doing the right thing where food is concerned. "Diets" or "eating plans" often do NOT incorporate the WHOLE person - physical, mental and emotional. Start the work on your mindset and emotions, follow the path toward your lap-band, and see it as a TOOL - a process and a physical aid that will help you reach your goals. Please let us know how you are doing, and if I can be of further assistance, I'm willing. This forum and the people on it were there for me when I started investigating my lap band (I was banded in Nov 2008) and I wouldn't change a thing - except maybe to work on ME more before surgery. Blessings,

Hi Terry! (waving) I LOVE the idea of a custom journal with places to check off what you've eaten, your supplements, activities and feelings. I've also been a journaler for a long time...I think it started with those little locked diaries that I recieved as Christmas presents! I still have journals that I kept during my husband's deployments (he's retired Navy), during tough times and good times throughout my life, and during times of change. I think there are even companies that will let you design your own pages and bind them into a book or looseleaf binder for you - a great way to set things up to match your personality and your preferences. Congrats on your progress so far with your surgery - keep doing what you are doing, because it seems to be working well for you. For someone looking to start journaling, check into the Moleskine line of notebooks - very silky smooth paper and a great set of colors for the binding and covers. They come in multiple sizes and are generally available at Staples. I also use my iPad for journaling (though I love notebooks) with the application called Evernote. They even have a function that allows you to take photos of your meals, scan QR codes for calorie counts and recipes (you can also do this with a smartphone), and it can help keep the information current if you don't carry your journal everywhere. Have a terrific week ahead, everyone!

Do you feel like your emotions are complicated and confusing – especially since you started on your lap-band journey? If you’ve struggled to understand why you feel or react the ways you do, even before your lap band surgery, then you might benefit from using a journal. Journaling can help you to identify and express your feelings throughout your journey, and will help to increase self-understanding, which can help you to increase your success before, during and after surgery. Once you learn to identify and deal with your feelings in positive and productive ways, you have opened the door to greater self-understanding. Jotting down what's going on with you and how you feel about it can help you to get a handle on your emotions. Writing (or typing) your feelings into a journal (physical or electronic) will help to increase self-understanding in four ways: 1. Journaling enables you to think about and process a particular situation or occurrence with clarity after your emotions have calmed down. When you write about an event, you are processing the event via your words and the description of the event. Recording the situation in writing can help you to notice details you might have missed when the event took place because you were “in” your emotions. The journal entry can thus increase your insight about the situation because your emotions will be calmer after some times has passed. · While journaling, try to put aside other thoughts and just focus on the situation. 2. Journaling can allow you time to clearly identify your feelings about the situation. Chances are you may not have had time to analyze the event as it occurred. If you pledge to journal, however, you know that you'll take time to reflect on important occurrences and consider how you felt about them. · Labeling your feelings leads to a better understanding of how you respond in certain situations. · Use "feeling" words when describing your emotions about an event. Examples of feeling words are, "pumped," "annoyed," "ecstatic," and "angry." · A helpful sentence structure to use when writing in your journal is, "I felt __________ when ________ happened." 3. Journaling can help you see more clearly why you felt the way you that did. Journaling provides an opportunity to fully explore your emotions about events and come to a conclusion about your feelings. Writing about your feelings can even assist you in handling or heading off negative feelings in the future. · Knowing why you responded in a certain manner increases self-understanding and also allows opportunities for positive change. · When completing a journal entry, consider all the reasons why you may have felt or responded in the way you did – include all of this information for future reflection and analysis. · Theorize and decide which theory best fits to explain your feelings about the situation and your behavior. 4. Re-reading your journal can help to shed light on your journey. When you process events and your feelings about them through journal writing and read about them after a little time has passed, you'll likely see patterns of emotions and responses that recur in similar situations. · You might see a pattern of behavior that encourages you to work on more openly expressing your emotions once you’ve identified the pattern. Or maybe you want to work to change your pattern of responding – to be more assertive and defend yourself against those who might question your decision to have surgery, or who try to sabotage your efforts. · Re-reading your journal might help to reveal a pattern of unhealthy reactions to certain situations. Reviewing your entries could help you to take minor setbacks with a more positive attitude – encouraging a commitment toward positive reactions while building a series of successes that will help propel you forward on your journey. · Take notice of your progress over time in how you respond to situations in positive ways – the way you reacted a few months ago will likely not be the same as your reactions in more recent times. Recognize the strength you’ve built, the successes great and small, and Celebrate your persistence in sticking with the changes you need to make to create a new, healthier life. · Regardless of whether you choose to accept your feelings (positive or negative),or make changes in your feelings and your reactions, you still increase your self-understanding through reviewing entries in your journal. You might feel confused at times and be at a loss to explain why you responded in a certain way. You can increase your level of personal insight by reflecting not only about these situations, but also about the feelings you experienced. Note when you see patterns of similar reactions and what triggers them – personal conflict, situational stress, or a perceived slight by a stranger. Sometimes your feelings are deep-rooted, and could be related to an incident that happened many years ago. Similar situations in present time can trigger those old feelings and reactions. Writing and reflecting on your journal entries may help you remember previous incidents so you can understand your feelings and decide if they benefit you now or if you wish to pursue more positive outcomes in the future. Try starting a physical (or electronic) journal to begin exploring how you feel and respond to life events – especially those involving your decision to have lap-band surgery. When you do, you'll increase self-understanding, build strength and self-confidence to overcome challenges on your journey to a healthier, fulfilling life.

Hey Sojourner! I agree with you - I choose to see "limitations" instead as "challenges" - to me, that puts them in the category of something I can overcome, not something I have to live with. I, like you, had to reframe my beliefs. If I had chosen to believe that I was doomed to be overweight (due to a combination of my own bad eating habits and my family history) then I would not have followed through with my research and gotten my lap-band. I believe that I can overcome ANY challenge - hence the post above. Congrats on your weight loss - 95 lbs is a great success - and I wish you nothing but success in your future! :-)

To all Current and Future Bandsters: How are you doing with recognizing – and overcoming - limitations regarding this major change in your lifestyle, and are you ready, willing and able to Celebrate what you CAN Do? Using affirmations can help you to gain perspective regarding your limitations, and can show you how to start (or continue) celebrating what you can do. Remember that consistency in living a banded life is very important – consistency in your exercise routine, consistency in your eating plans, and consistency in working with your medical team will all help you to build a lifestyle you can stick with and to get consistent results over time. The mental side of living a lap-band lifestyle is critically important. Doing the right thing day after day is much harder when you’re fighting your own mindset. One way to conquer a less-than-optimal mindset is to use affirmations. An affirmation can be defined as “emotional support or encouragement” – and no one is better at providing you with just the emotional support and encouragement you need than YOU, yourself. You understand what you’re going through…you know intimately what you are feeling and thinking, and one of the most powerful weapons you have in your arsenal for success is your own mindset. Use the affirmation sequence I’ve written below to help you move into a more positive frame of mind and a more positive mindset. Feel free to print out this affirmation sequence and repeat it out loud – first thing in the morning, and at night before you retire to bed. Feel free to repeat it throughout the day if you need to – as many times as you want. It takes 21 – 28 days to create a new positive habit, so commit right now to practicing this set of affirmations for at least 21 days to give it a fair trial. Comment below and let me know how the affirmation has worked for you – and if you’ve modified the language to fit your particular circumstances and personality, please let me know that as well. I’ve found that for me, mindset is very important to ensuring my continued success in living my banded life – I hope you find value in it as well. I accept my limitations as a lap-band patient and celebrate what I can do to build a healthy and strong body, mind and spirit. Limitations are opportunities to be explored – but not necessarily accepted. I may do things differently than some people, and there are many things I am good at. I do what I am capable of to stay healthy and on-track and I do those things well, creating and sustaining healthy habits. Nothing has the power to stop me or drag me down – I am determined to succeed! I am brave and courageous, and I can do anything I put my mind to – including losing my excess weight. No matter what comes against me, it will not defeat me. If I run into limitations on my journey, I work within them to be successful while building the strength and ability to overcome them. Everyone has limitations along their journey - they could be financial, time-related, a physical constraint, or something else. It's perfectly normal to have limitations, and I work through and around mine. I am stronger than I think and I can do more than I realize. I am building a healthy life and I am increasing my self-worth. Limitations do not negatively affect the value of the person. I am very valuable just the way I am. I have encountered these limitations for a reason, and I will use the gifts I was given and the strength I am developing to overcome them. I will focus on the good things in my life, and the bad things will just melt away. There are many good things I am capable of doing while living this journey to better health and a stronger me. Limitations aren't important. I find joy, peace, and love in my life, and I know I am valuable just the way I am. Today, I intend to accept who I am and focus on the things I can do to build a lifetime of success. Self-Reflection Questions: 1. How can I look past the limitations in my life to find peace, joy, and success beyond surgery? 2. What is the best way for me to stay focused on what I am capable of doing right now? 3. How can I continue to make positive progress, despite any limitations I may be faced with?

Hi Tina! (waving) So glad to hear you and your boys are doing well - it's amazing how fast they grow, isn't it? So glad to hear also that the Komen walk went well for you - I am SO proud of you for doing the walk again - it's a wonderful cause and a TOUGH event. Kudos to you! Keep on doing what you do - and congrats on ALL of your accomplishments!

Firedad - you cannot blame yourself for being a good guy who found the wrong woman. All beautiful women are not like the one who treated you badly. Not all women stay with 'cheating jerks' either. I'd be willing to bet that there is, out there somewhere, a woman looking for a guy just like you. One that will treat them like a princess and put them on a pedestal... Keep on working on YOU - get into the best physical shape that you can via your band and exercise, and participate in activities that will affirm you and build your self-esteem and self-confidence. When that very real and very loving woman appears in your life, you'll have gotten rid of the excess baggage left behind by your ex and be ready to start a wonderful new relationship with a clean slate. My first marriage ended badly - he lied and cheated, and it took me quite a while working on ME before I was ready for the wonderful man I now share my life with. It will be 21 years for us this month, and I wouldn't have it any other way. While we both had some painful experiences in our first marriages, it got us good and ready for the REAL THING when it arrived. Much luck in your journey and stay strong!

Hey Tina and Banded Friends, Tina - I just made a contribution to support you in the Komen Walk - I admire you SO much for doing the walk and while I have not been directly affected by breast cancer, I support survivors like yourself and those who are struggling with this disease. I'm also glad to hear you are doing well - don't worry about the weight, celebrate the fact that you have BEATEN cancer! Big kudos to you, my friend. Keep on taking good care of yourself and your boys...big hugs all around!