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Hi Notorious Novembers! Good luck, ddgalarza - I know you're going to come through this just fine - you have the mental strength and commitment to make it happen! Woo Hoo! Go Beth! :w00t::w00t: I went out on a limb, so to speak, and bought a couple of dresses in a size Large. Well, today I tried them on, because while the scale hasn't moved at all, I can tell my body is still changing. Unfortunately, that means that things are sagging, bagging and bulging in places that they didn't do before. There's less bulk filling up the skin, so I've got excess going on, wrinkles, etc. I'm happily at the point where I need to buy more clothes - things are falling off of me - and new foundation garments. All my bras are too big and I need to replace a few. It's hard to know what to buy, because I'm sure I'll change sizes again soon, but I want to look polished and professional while I'm losing...I'll figure it out - I'll put my image consulting training to work and come up with a solution. Congrats on your progress camfun!

PJTP...Hi Everybody! *waving wildly* I'm here, I'm here! Just chillin'...home is okay. H is being lovey-dovey and sweet as pie. Part of me wants to believe he's real, that everything will be okay, and we can just resume our normally scheduled relationship, but nah...I've been burned like that before, and I'm not ready to forgive and forget just yet. Ran nearly 1.5 miles this morning, non-stop! Having a wonderful time with the running thang - 3 days a week now, and I absolutely love it. No change in the scale yet - it's been about a month that I've been stuck, I think, and I'm anxious for that next 6 lbs to go away so I can be in Onederland! Gotta go through the closet - all my size 18's are starting to hang unattractively on me...H mentioned it this morning (in a nice way, funny enough). Guess I've gotta go shopping - darn! (said with tongue firmly in cheek) I will continue the job search - though part of me wants to re-hang my shingle as an entrepreneur. I would have to do it the right way, though - save up enough and THEN do it. Having just bought a car, and with DD in college, now would NOT be the time for an ill-advised risk. Been looking at condos on-line - found one in a complex I'd LOVE to live in...one bedroom, really reasonable. Gives me a target to shoot at should H screw up again. Have tentatively decided I'll stay put for now, get DD off to VSU, and see what happens. I'll be putting my financial plan in place in the event I have to buy a home next year. Love y'all for worrying about me...and I'm glad I have LBT and specifically PJTP to come to... Regarding the get-together at Lu's house - end of May works for me as well - Memorial Day weekend? Just lemme know - like y'all, the earlier I plan, the better it will be...:frown:

Hey Notorious Novembers! ddgalarza! YOU GO GIRL!:biggrin::wub::w00t::party: That's just awesome! I know you are proud of yourself, and I'm proud of you too! Keep up the good work - you are an inspiration!

PJTP... YAY! Tap's Back! :biggrin::w00t::blushing: Missed ya, girlfriend...don't leave us again! :biggrin:

PJTP...So-so news on the job front... Recieved a message this morning regarding the recent interviews I had done: The physicians have decided to continue the search. We will be in touch when a decision is made. Not what I wanted to hear, but then, with the job market the way it is, I guess I can't blame them for wanting to keep looking. I just don't think I WOW'ed them like I had hoped I would. The search continues...still no word from the first place I interviewed with...why people are so rude I have no idea. At least let me know what's going on! :biggrin:

Morning, all!:biggrin: Extended my run distance on Sunday morning at hubby's insistence (sometimes ya just need a push)...did 1.29 miles (according to Prevention.com map), ran the whole thing...felt good. Hubby decided that if we make it through a run (extended distance) with no problems (shin splints, having to stop, etc) then we extend a little at a time until we hit a new limit. Add on a block or so each run day until we hit one we need more time on...not 100% sure I'm ready for that, but what the hey - at least my distance will keep going up! :biggrin: Sometimes I think my head gets in the way - I could do more, but I don't THINK I can, and sometimes I don't try. Having a running partner pushes me to realize I really AM stronger than I think I am. We'll see how it goes...looking forward to tomorrow's run. Walked this morning - no problems.:blushing: Will walk at lunchtime and again to the train station tonight...onward and outward!

PJTP...Good Monday Morning, everyone! :biggrin: The car is running and I've got a kick-MIL's-a** bag packed...where we going? I know some folks that can make that happen tout-de-suite...just lemme know... Just send me the address - Mapquest works great! Holy water, incense, oil for "anointing" (meaning anointing my fist so when I smash her in the face it gets on her too)... That is so hard...I think I'd be certifiable if I thought someone hurt my DGS...even if I don't see him like I want to... When we going down there, Beth? I got your back! Just tell me when and where...I got a Louisville Slugger in the trunk, ready to go...soaked it in gasoline so we can burn the evidence when we're done. Knew watching CSI would come in handy...:sneaky: Had a good weekend - activity wise. Lots of house-cleaning on Saturday, a little more on Sunday, then a political fundraiser on Sunday afternoon for a good friend. H was hovering all weekend...the comedy club on Friday night was fun - laughed a LOT, and it was just what the doc ordered. A little bittersweet because if I hadn't been so pissed at H, it would have been even more fun. He was right by my side all day Saturday, made himself scarce during the fundraiser and took DD to see Final Destination at the movies. Wanted to get all cuddly last night...I just ain't there yet, though I must admit it's getting harder to be mad at him and keep my distance. Damn my heart...I SO want to forgive and try to forget, but I can't right now. My heart is still bruised and sore, and for him to try and act like nothing is wrong and nothing's changed is just not what I want right now. He still won't really talk about it...it's like he's made some kind of decision to try and work through it in his own mind, but I don't know what he's thinking, so to me, his behavior is suspect. When I get like this, I tend to shut down - that's my protective response, but may not be the right one for this situation. We did run together on Sunday morning - and it was okay. We joked about our various aches and pains (extended the run distance as well) and he kept saying how proud of me he is for not giving up on running. Sometimes his work schedule prevents him from going with me, but I'm a runner now - I'll go with or without him. Playing it by ear right now...still have my independence plan in the works, but for now, I'll stay put and try to work through MY feelings.

Hi Everyone! Won't even try to catch up...my head is so weird right now, I'm sure I'll mess it up...but here's what I can remember: BBK - glad your daughter is feeling better; hope this upward trend continues. Fanny - awesomely cute pics of the party - love the outfit and the fact that your guy got into the spirit and dressed up too! Slim - sorry about the MIL drama...hang tough, girlfriend... Krtork - good for you on the run! I extended my distance today - ran about a 1/4 mile further than previously, then ran all the way back. Felt great - warmed up after about 5 minutes, felt good at the end. TPG - say hi to our old friend...we do miss him! :wink2: LuluC - puppy stuff is fun, just keep telling yourself that when you get to two million No's...:wink2: Beth - glad hubby is doing well, and I agree with YOU about the in-laws. They can be so trying...I absolutely could not stand my 1st MIL - good thing I didn't have to deal with her for long. My 2nd MIL was a peach - still miss her a ton (she passed away a few years ago - weight related issues). G4E - glad you were able to check in - I think I'd go crazy without my internet...keep researching - there IS a company out there with a reasonable price for monthly service. I think I got everyone... It's been an interesting weekend...Friday night I went to a comedy show with H - he's still not earned his way back to being DH yet - and actually had a good time. We had to wait quite a bit before getting into the venue, so went for soul food nearby. I had two bites of mac-and-cheese, black-eyed peas, and about 3 little cornmeal-battered shrimp and I was full. Had a kid-size ice cream cone a bit later, and didn't feel so bad about that...normally I'd have gotten a large - knew I wouldn't be able to hold it. The comedy show was hilarious - a female comic and two guys. One of the guys is Huggy Lowdown who works with Tom Joyner - side-splitting hilarious... Before the show, we were sitting in the parking lot and H wanted to get all cuddly - I wasn't having it. Told him to keep his distance - and for a while he did, but kept trying to convince me it was all okay. :huh2: He was very attentive throughout the show and afterwards...felt a bit like old times when I was very happy with him and everything...weird. Why now? Would have been really easy to slide back into treating him like nothing happened - but it did! I can't just flip a switch and go back to the way things were - I'm not wired that way. He's been very attentive all weekend, very nice and very cuddly. Makes it tough when I either ignore it or push him away. I think it was krtork that said he might be feeling like he's useless - no need to defend me or "slay any dragons" on my behalf...maybe that's it - my independence is making him feel threatened. I've often told him if he wanted a clinging vine, I was NOT his girl...guess now I'm showing it more...I dunno :huh2: Saturday and today were major house-cleaning. I had a fundraiser for my friend that's running for city council this afternoon - so we cleared the decks, polished, dusted, vacuumed, etc until everything was clean and in decent order. Not perfect, just in decent order. The fundraiser was a success - she raised about $500. DD made chicken croquettes (they ate ALL of them) and strawberry soup (they ate ALL of it) and I made peach iced tea (crystal light). DD and H are off to see a scary movie and I've got studying to do...BBL!:ohmy:

Good afternoon Everyone! Extended my run distance this morning - added another couple of blocks so now I'm running just about a mile and a quarter non-stop. Feeling great and loving this! :thumbup: Hi Sparkles62 - it's the Couch to 5K, and if you do either a search on this website, or a google search for that phrase, you'll find links to it. There's also several iPhone applications to help you work through it. It takes you from not running at all through a slow progression of walking and running until you can run a 5k race. The progression runs about 12 weeks, but some (like me) stay longer than one week in each phase of the program. You gradually walk less and run more as you move forward. I was a walker before doing the program, and now I'm combining walking and running throughout the week. I run 3 days a week and walk 3 - 4 other days. Take a look at the program online, print out or download what you need, and make sure you get a GOOD pair of running shoes, and go for it! :wub: Hi MzReeda! It's very different stress on your body to run versus walking. I found, because I'm running the same course that I would walk, that the level of effort for me is probably about 1.5 to 2 times in the beginning. As I warm up and get stronger, it gets easier. Before I started the c25k, I had lost about 50 - 55 pounds - I would never have considered running at my pre-banded weight. That doesn't mean you can't, it just means that you have to be careful. There's a post further back in this thread from Jachut (very knowledgable poster and a runner) who said that our lungs can take extended distances before some of the physical mechanisms in our bodies (joints, etc) can handle the distance. If 15 - 20 sec is all you can handle right now, then do that. Keep that up for a week or two and you'll find yourself feeling stronger and better. Then try for jogging 1 minute - then walk. Take a look at the c25k and see what their initial time for running is - I think it's one minute. Once you can do that semi-comfortably, then try to keep progressing through the program - realizing that you might need to stay with a particular week's program more than one week to prepare you to move on. Think of your progression from walker to runner as a marathon - you just want to be in it for the long haul. Good luck and let us know how you're doing!:mad:

Good afternoon Everyone! :frown: That's an awesome accomplishment - and you should be very proud of yourself! When I reach my end goal, I'll have lost 110 lbs - have currently lost 60 and looking for more. Can't wait till I get to Onederland (hopefully in the next week or so). Keep up the good work - you are very inspiring!:w00t:

PJTP...I have such good friends! :w00t: Thank you so much, Michelle! Your place sounds wonderful, and I'm very tempted...I'll keep your generous and lovely offer in mind...:w00t:

PJTP... Exactly! And now that I'm out of "cry" mode and into "fight" mode, here's what I'm going to do... Tonight we had plans to go to dinner and a comedy club - he's on his way to get me as I type this. I brought an outfit with me to change into: black "daytime satin" sleeveless top and pencil skirt, fishnet hose with a seam up the back, black suede heels with a leather tie that wraps around the ankle. It's a new outfit for me - smaller size - and fits like the proverbial glove. I have a silver-and-black jacket to go with and black-and-clear rhinestone earrings. I'm going to get dressed shortly, and I'm going to be flirting tonight...not necessarily with H - we'll see what happens. I'm coming out of my shell with a vengeance. I won't be taking anybody but H home tonight, but MY ego needs a boost and I'm gonna find it tonight...:w00t:

PJTP... I just got off the phone with H (he's not DH right now)...he seems to be backing down from his earlier stance. He tried to "lighten up" the situation by telling me that he's not going anywhere... Said I could have him bothering me while we live in the same house, or with me living in my own place, but he wasn't going to leave me alone. I would always be a part of his life. He's also backed off of the online conversation subject - told me that he's trying to get better and that I just have to "smack him on the head" when he crosses the line. I asked him how I'm supposed to know - his response was for me to check his email whenever I felt like it. That makes me the "relationship police" and I'm not interested in playing that role. If HE doesn't want it bad enough NOT to flirt online, then why would he stop just because I said so? I'm really confused and don't know where he's coming from. Time will tell...I'm going to try and keep some semblance of normalcy and sanity in my life while I work this out. I DO love him, but I don't know if being IN LOVE with him is the best thing for me right now. I've got enough going on with job worries, my weight loss journey (though that's going pretty well) and my DD starting school to worry about his nonsense and mixed messages. Now, if you hadn't noticed, I'm getting an attitude...a hands-on-the-hips, finger-in-your-face, neck-rolling sista-girl attitude :w00t: I'll keep y'all posted...right now, I'm just gonna live my life and let HIM twist in the wind for a while. I'm not convinced that his little hissy fit this morning is over - I know it's not over for me. :w00t:

PJTP... Unfortunately, he wants to run WITH me...the past week I've been on my own because of his work schedule, but we started this together and I just dread getting up tomorrow and he's going to want to run with me. Just the other day I thanked him for helping me to get started running - he was very supportive. Makes the rest of this so hard to deal with...I dunno what I'm going to do. I am NOT going to stop running, though...I NEED to do that right now. :w00t:

PJTP... Hi SickNTired! Can I borrow your screen name for a while? Except mine will probably be SickNTiredOfWafflingJerkyDamnExHusbandToBe! :w00t: Thanks, girlfriend...I don't know what's going on. He's been one of my biggest advocates since I was banded. Even went on the two week liquid diet with me post-band. Has said repeatedly that he wants the world to see what he's always seen. What has changed, I don't know. Maybe he thinks that now since I'm getting smaller and more attractive, I won't be lacking for male companionship and I can find the guy that really is the right one for me. He said something like that this morning - that he hopes if I leave him, that I find the guy I should have been with all along and he is not that guy... I think HE'S given up on our marriage. I actually asked him if he would prefer to co-habitate instead of being married and he said no. Not sure if that was a true reaction or not... I'm so confused and hurt right now...good thing it's slow today at work...:w00t:

PJTP... Again, my sister-from-another-mother, we are on the same track. I actually asked him that this morning. He said he wouldn't have a problem with me flirting with other men. He actually said he'd find it "exciting"! I think what he DIDN'T say is that he knows I'd still come home and it would never go any further. He said he'd like to read the flirty emails - I told him that since he didn't feel inclined to share his with me, I wouldn't share with HIM. :w00t: He thinks that he was always like this - not really willing to commit / stop flirting, but his upbringing (parents were VERY religious) made him see marriage as the only way. He remembered one of his past girlfriends accusing him of "getting around". Says now that's more the truth than he knew then. What complicates this for me is that this is the kind of behavior he ex-wife showed. She ran around on him - cheated multiple times. He said if she'd still come home 3 or 4 nights a week, they'd probably still be married. What seems to have broken them up was that she got pregnant by one of her affairs...eventually married the guy, but left him when he developed a drug problem... She's still not in a long-term relationship. She has sent him messages that indicate she thinks she's not made for that - sometimes I wonder if that is where this is coming from. I think I'm too conservative for him...he says he WANTS to see my flirty, freaky side...okay - that's just a little too strange for me. And if I felt the commitment was there, and I wouldn't be judged and found wanting, he'd SEE that side of me, but I'm not giving him that while he's still chasing virtual tail across the Internet. :w00t:

PJTP... Thanks for the hugs and rational thoughts, my friends...I need that right now...:w00t:

PJTP... I hear ya, Beth...if anyone had told me that he'd be willing to continue a behavior that I have openly acknowledged hurts me, I'd have said they were crazy...before this morning. I did NOT see this coming...not at all. He did say he'd keep his comments online (Facebook) to a minimum - they are public and everyone can see them, so everyone who knows us and sees his page sees them. Most of this has been email between him and one particular person we both went to high school with. For some reason, he seems to gravitate to "needy" women - those who are bruised, hurt or otherwise seem to need protecting. Maybe that's what he truly wants and needs...maybe it's because his ex-wife nearly destroyed HIS self-esteem that he now seeks positive reinforcement elsewhere. Maybe whatever his bruised and damaged heart needs, I can't give him. He said to me this morning that I've ALWAYS been on his mind. Even while he was married to the ex-wife...that I've always been "the other woman". Not because of anything I did, but that's where he put me in his mind. I don't pretend to understand...but I also know that I can't live a lie...now that I know this is how he feels, I don't think we'll make it to our 20th anniversary. I'll be making plans all this next year to get out when my daughter goes away to school. I will NOT live like this - wondering every time I see him on the computer if THIS is the one that makes him want to leave, or makes him want to cross the line and turn it into a flesh-and-blood affair. I'm hurting right now...don't know how exactly I'm going to handle it, but I am a planner. I'm going into research mode - gonna figure out just how much I need to amass in my "independence fund" and when I get there, I'm gone. A wonderful girlfriend of mine suggested prayer - "duck and let God hit 'em" kind of thing...right now, my faith is weak where this is concerned. What I'll be praying for is strength to do what I must, perseverance to keep some semblance of normalcy for my daughter, and a calm spirit so I don't end up in the hospital from stress... **sigh** What a way to start the weekend! NOT!

PJTP...Happy Friday, Everyone! :w00t: Having a slow, rather restful day so far...not a lot going on at work, DH and DD are at home doing their thing, DDog didn't even wake me up as usual this morning. Everybody's feeling lazy, I think... Going out with DH tonight to see "Huggy Lowdown" the radio comic from the Tom Joyner show. He's hilarious on the radio, hopefully he'll be the same in person. Generally I like comedy shows, though I don't LOL like my DH does! He can be the "life of the party" at comedy shows and get this - he's decided he's going "Red". He has a bright red shadow-stripe suit and just bought a red hat to go with it. :w00t: ***Politically incorrect alert**** Can you say PIMP? :w00t::eek::w00t: *****Politically incorrect end alert **** He KNOWS this outfit is going to bring him much attention - in fact, he PLANNED it that way...**sigh** :w00t: Since I KNOW he's doing this for attention, I'm dressing a little quieter...black "daytime satin" v-neck sleeveless top with matching pencil skirt, fishnet hose (with a seam up the back) and black suede heels with a leather tie that wraps around the ankle. Hot, but subtle. He's picking me up at work and we'll go to the comedy show after having dinner, then he wants to go out dancing / clubbing later... We've been having our issues lately...his online flirting. Nothing overtly sexual, just message I consider "over the line". We talked this morning, he actually said to me that he probably never should have gotten married - likes to flirt too much. WTF? After NINETEEN years you tell me this? :w00t: I don't know what to think...he says he loves me, and part of me wants to believe him, but after having gone 'round Robin Hood's barn with this multiple times, I don't know if I can do it again. :w00t: He promised me that he's stay off the porn sites, and he has. The flirty messages to other women in his life (some are co-workers, no real threat there; some are friends from the past - bigger issue for me there) are his "thing"...he's not willing to stop. They are all online / email - no text messages, no phone calls (which I can and did verify). Claims he loves me, knows this hurts me, but he still won't stop. :w00t: Can't decide if this is a deal-breaker for me...am I just over-reacting? After knowing him for over 30 years, why didn't I see this? And why does this moment of self-realization have to come in the middle of MY marriage? :w00t: I don't know what to feel right now...I'm a bit numb. He says he'll abide by my decision, whatever that is. Asked that we stay together until DDog dies to avoid sending him back to the shelter, said we'd split all other assets if I decide to leave. Actually said he probably wasn't the right guy for me...probably never was...but would stay with me as long as I wanted to stay, and would treat me well. I dunno what to do...part of me wants to walk away. Part of me is still madly in love with him and wants nothing more than to be by his side until I leave this earth. :w00t: Helpful / insightful comments welcome...

PJTP...Back again! :thumbup: No joy on the job front...did get a rejection letter from one of the others I applied for, but since I didn't get called for an interview with them, it's not really a surprise. Going to call my contact tomorrow to see what's up... I hear ya, Fanny! I am really LOVING having to replace my clothes every few weeks - I could shop all day, every day and really not get tired of it. Of course, my budget can't stand that, so... I may get a few of the things I bought recently altered. My figure is changing in funny ways - dresses look better than most skirts on me now, and jackets are getting hard to wear because they are all too big, but they take so much WORK to alter that it's almost not worth it... Oh well - happy problems to have!:crying:

PJTP...Ebony's Evening Edition! Hi y'all! Got home a little later than usual (had to sign some papers at the attorney's office for my church) so went to Dairy Queen for dinner. Got a kid's meal - a cheeseburger (only ate half - buns are tough for me); applesauce (yum) and a small soda (watered it down) plus a kid-size vanilla cone. I'm good to go - and 6 months ago, that would have been a snack and I'd have been looking for more! I :w00t: my band! I have two pair - both Nike. I find they work for my feet...the expensive pair (bought at sporting goods store) are Nike + (the ones you can get the little do-hickey for that feeds into your iPhone - but only the newest version) :crying: Love the shoes, so I can do without the iPhone thing, especially since I don't have the newest whiz-bang iPhone. The other pair are Nike Shox - got those on EBay and paid much less than retail for them...gotta LOVE EBay. That's where I'll get my next few pairs - I hate paying retail, but I do it occasionally to help support local businesses and local working folk. What Beth said - keep up the good work! :thumbup:

PJTP... I'm with y'all and Michelle. You NEVER give a child something to eat without checking with the parents first - especially when they are RIGHT THERE! Heck, I don't give kids anything - not a cookie, or a drink, or anything - without checking first. You don't know what their situation is... We had a family at our church - the little boy had a real sensitivity to wheat and such, so most baked goods were off limits for him. Didn't stop him from asking though...even though he knew it would cause him big-time tummy problems, he still wanted them because he wanted to be like everyone else. Poor little punkin' - one of our members got good at making gluten-free stuff he could eat, and she always made him something special. Made him feel much better... My DD is so conditioned to ask first that even at 18 she still double-checks some things with me...:thumbup: Guess I brainwashed her but good! :crying:

Hi Everyone! Great point, Jachut! I started running only about a month ago - and I started with a distance I'd been walking regularly - just about a mile. It's the route I walk my dog on - and I've got a short, medium and long route already mapped out. The walking got me to 55 pounds lost, and I kinda stalled on my weight loss. When I decided I needed to up my calorie burn, I started thinking about running and found the Couch to 5K program (search this site, it's out there as well). I started by jogging one block, walking one block. Others might start with jogging a half block or walking two inbetween jogging. Listen to your body! I only "wogged" every OTHER day to give me a chance to recover and avoid injury. This morning, I ran the entire course - just over a mile. I know I would NOT have been able to do that unless I progressed slowly. I still only run every OTHER day. I try to do a longer run on Saturday morning to give me the rest of that day and Sunday to recover. Take it slowly - like Jachut said, I think my lung capacity is ready to do more, but I have one tender knee and a residual heart rate issue, so I take it slow. I'd rather progress slowly than be in the hospital not progressing at all. If you can run two more steps than the time before, you're making positive progress. It's hard NOT to compare yourself to others, but remember - the band is SO individualized that our workout programs will probably be just as individualized. :thumbup:

Hi Laura! Glad to hear your recovery is moving forward. Don't be so hard on yourself - you are doing very well. I guess if we didn't slip once in a while, we woudn't be human! :w00t: I'm glad you're feeling good - and you sharing your results and experience is just so valuable. I've kinda revised my own timetable...I am going to aim to be at 170 lbs by the end of this year, and depending on what department I'm in next year (I'm applying for a new job) I may do the surgery in the summer. The academic departments have downtime during the summer - though I'm not sure I want to be wearing a binder during the summer :thumbup: We'll see how it goes...right now, I'm stuck on a plateau at 205. 35 more pounds and I can start investigating the surgery for real...I won't let myself investigate it any earlier than that, because I really don't want to give up my goal of eventually being at 155 lbs. Keep up the good work - any new pics of you to see? :blushing:

PJTP...Catching up, still! Awww, shucks...:thumbup: No! I agree with Lulu - you don't need to do that. Thanks for the compliment, Slim! I'm really loving running. I'm even wearing my running shoes to walk in now - I like the cushioning better. I switch pairs every day to give them a chance to air out between wearings. My walking shoes are toast - put them on yesterday and both knees hurt this morning, so they are going in the garbage...won't buy another pair - I'll just stick with the running shoes. Gonna be heading out for my lunchtime walk soon - it was beautifully cool this morning, hoping that held over for lunchtime...BBL!:sneaky: