Leepers

As with many, many people, my struggle with weight started long before I new anything about counting calories and carbs. I was overweight by 3rd grade and "fat" (according to the kids in school) by 5th grade. I was heavy all through school. Sure, I have lost weight here and there, but have always been far from the elusive "ideal" weight.
 
My sister had a Gastric Bypass many years ago (maybe 15) and she was very sick and is now just as big (if not bigger) then prior to surgery. I always told myself and others "I would NEVER have surgery." Well, as they say, never say never! Now here I am 8 days from going under the knife.
 
What changed? Several things. There have been new developments - new surgeries and techniques - that were not in practice 15 years ago. I have or am dealing with many issues medically. I have support in my life that is greater then any I have ever known. I could probably go on, but the best answer is that time changed my mind for me.
 
For the last several years I have struggled medically. I am lucky that I do not have many of the typical problems associated with obesity - high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes. I was, however, diagnosed 3 or 4 years ago with Lupus and Fibromyalgia. The pain can be debilitating on some days. I am on many medications for all of this and all of them have the side effect of weight gain. I have talked with my PCP as well as my Rheumatologist on several occasions about loosing weight; by loosing weight I will take pressure off of my joints and muscles possibly buying me some much needed relief.
 
This has been an uphill (or stagnant) battle. No matter what I tried there was little to no weight loss. My final attempt was suggested over a year ago and I did not want to do it due to the financial aspect of it. I began taking a prescription drug, Qsymia, that cost me (WITH INSURANCE COVERAGE) $200+ a month! I was on the drug for 6 months, costing me over $1200 dollars, and lost 17 lbs! I worked so hard; I exercised through the pain, I ate 1500 to 1200 (more often less) everyday and I lost a pathetic 17 lbs. ! What the hell?!?!
 
During this time my PCP told me at several visits that he thought Lap Band was the way to go for me. I am still admit that surgery was not an accepible option. At the end of the six months on Qsymia, I was heartbroken, defeated, and beaten. I called my PCP with tears in my eyes and asked for a referral for Lap Band and wanted to meet with him to talk it over some more with me and my husband. I went to the visit and I had been off the Qsymia for a couple weeks and had gained about half of the 17 lbs. back. He told me that he did not think that UVA would let me do that Lap Band because I am too obese. I burst into tears because I was still not sure about Lap Band, much less getting anything where they cut your organs and stitch you back up (for some reason a foreign object in my body seemed safer). My PCP gave me the referral for Lap Band anyway (probably because he was tired of my crying in his office).
 
On November 7, 2013, my husband and I went to UVA for the class/consultation and the first words our of the nurse's mouth were "I am going to convince you NOT to get a Lap Band." My husband and I just looked at each other with surprise and confusion all over our faces. I whispered to him "No. I am not going to have any other type of surgery!" Well, as you already know, I did not hold to true to that statement. She described in detail all three surgeries that they can do; band, sleeve, and bypass, and the post-op instructions for each. Then the nutritionist came in and discussed diet for the surgeries. After this, we had a break before we saw the surgeon. Immediately we sat down and looked at each other and started asking what the other thought in the hopes that we each felt the same way; the sleeve was the right way to go, but we have more questions for the surgical team. We went into the room to meet one on one with the surgical team members and told my story, expressed our concerns, and asked questions. Everyone on the team agreed that the sleeve was a much better choice in my situation then the band. I was fighting against too much and that I need to be able to change my body's chemical makeup (this will happen naturally when part of my stomach is removed) in order for there to be significant change. Final decision made: Gastric Sleeve.
 
Within the next two weeks, I had my psychiatric evaluation and had hospital records from an Endoscopy sent to UVA. The insurance authorization processes for Bariatric Surgery had begun before I even met the surgeon. Now all I could do was wait. It took every bit of three weeks to get the psych eval results and four page document stating at the end that "...bariatric surgery is recommended..." was sent to the insurance company and UVA. Two weeks after that I was called with insurance approval and set a date to meet with the surgeon one more time and to have an gallbladder ultrasound. The appointment went very well and all of my presurgery labs and x-rays were done, we met with the anesthiaology nurse, and a date was set. On January 20, 2014, I will have the Gastric Sleeve, a Hiatal Hernia Repair, and my Gallbladder removed!
 
Every day it gets closer and every day I get a little bit more nervous. I am not scared. I am just anxious. There is so much to do; train someone to do my job at work (I'm a total control freak over this and it is not easy to let go); get my house and finances in order; get my important paper work in order (you never know what could happen); buy all the necessary post-op stuff; etc. It will all get done (I hope!), and if not, it will just have to wait till I recover enough to do it (again, hard to let go)! Friday they will call me with the time to report to UVA and time of surgery. As anxious as I am, I could not be more excited!

So I've called my doctors, and they still haven't got any idea what's happening, not much faith. So now I'm planning on emailing my actual surgeon to see what's happening. March last year was when I last saw him, hopefully I can get at least the slightest answer/piece of hope. I will not give up, I refuse to. On other news, I'm doing great on my diet!
 
Also, did anyone also have worried relatives? My sister seems to be trying to.. change my mind in a way. I know everyone's worried of someone they love having major surgery, but I have been fighting for this for 5+ years and It'll change my life for the best.
 
Just wish others could see the way I do.

Yeah I am at a plateau..... I am not to upset about it but damn it! I am so close to my high school weight it not even funny! I also found out that my Wii Fit has been lying to me as well this difference is 3 pounds but when I used the quick weigh option it will acturate. I will a little disappointed at first but then I realize that this has been the lowest I have ever been in years!
 
Okay confession time
I admit I haven't been making the best food choices and lately I've been adding wine as a food group. However I've been working out either 45 to 1 hour each day.
 
My plan of action
Stop drinking wine every night and cut it down to twice a week.
 
Change my workout routine.
 
Review my fitness pal diary to review my eating habbits.
 
Start planning my meals through out the week and remember Protein Protein and Protein
 
I need to get to ball going anyway I have to train for my first 5K run in April.
 
I am still happy with my weight loss and I know for a fact I will never weigh over 200 pounds again! This is a promise I made to myself
 
God is good and I still love my band!
 
Thanks for reading!

Destructive thoughts within our minds
can keep us in despair...
those doubts and insecurities
are not worth the pain they bear.
 
It's sad to carry baggage
that causes grief and shame...
and in time we come to realize
we have ourselves to blame.
 
We can choose our way of thinking
and ask God to give us peace...
as we pray for a healthy attitude,
our negative thoughts will cease.
 
These human hearts are fragile
and sometimes we can't see...
it takes some effort on our part
to find worth and security.
 
Don't let those demons haunt you
and keep you in the dark...
just know that God, who formed you,
loves you just the way you are.

Hi there...
 
HumbleMom here.
Am Pre-Op RNY - waiting for insurance approval. Most likely will have surgery next month (2/2014.)
Was born and raised in Memphis, TN and am still here.
Have been a wife for almost 21 years ~ looking forward the next 21+.
Mother to 3 children, one of whom passed away at 8yrs ~ more about this in future blogs.
Am happy in general ~ my life is full of love and laughter, family and friends and all those little positive intangibles we tend to take for granted.
My faith is intact, meaning my relationship with God has weathered the death of my son. God and I are good ~ I have MANY questions for Him, but I also have to thank Him for all He's done for me and for all He continues to do for me.
For financial reasons, I dabble in cybersecurity. For fun, I read, cook (sometimes healthy, sometimes not), needlepoint and am learning to play Bridge.
We have three dogs, all different sizes, all rescues, all quirky and all amazingly lovable.

You can see from my profile that I'm a big girl. Like just about everyone else here, I didn't get this way overnight.My weight crept up on me over time, over pregnancies, over typical stress, over unbelievable stress and over many a wonderful meal shared with good friends.
 
 
Also like just about everyone else, I'm a very well educated obese person.
I KNOW Weight Watchers inside and out and have been very successful with it over the years, having lost (and regained) myself several times over.
Jenny Craig and I have been good friends, albeit never for long.
I've tried Nutrisystem and Medifast ~ ordered the products, received them, organized the cupboards to house them, tried them for a few days and then promptly sold the remaining items on eBay.
I've walked, done couch-to-5k, done pilates, attended exactly ONE Bikram yoga class (WHAT was I thinking??? If you are a Bikram fan, my hat's off to you!), used a personal trainer, worked out in a members only gym, worked out at my office gym, walked some more and then walked even more.

And like just about everyone else, each new this-will-change-my-life endeavor has proven successful (except the Bikram yoga!). I've lost weight, I've toned muscles I never knew I had and I've increased my endurance more than I ever thought possible. UNTIL… I wasn't losing or toning anymore because I'd stopped. I'd stopped because I ~ well, that's part of this puzzle. Why DID I stop? I don't know. I seriously need to find a counselor who can help me with this strange dance of mine with food, exercise and health. Know of anyone in the Memphis area? Please share!
 
 
So, long story short, I'm hoping this surgery will be the missing tool from my arsenal of knowledge needed to become a healthier me. While it will be nice to look more attractive, I'm here for other reasons.
I want to be able to hike and climb volcanoes with my sons. (True story ~ more later!)
I want to quit the daily meds for cholesterol, blood pressure, GERD and depression. Or maybe I should say I want to trade those meds for vitamins, calcium and b12 supplements!
I don't want my family to bury me because I literally ate myself to death. Much better to perish on the side of a volcano, right?
I'm tired of walking into a large department store filled with beautiful clothes and being relegated to shop from the Women's sizes hidden away in the tiny corner of the basement. I mean, come on. NOTHING tastes that good! I have 'eaten' my way into that corner and I'm tired of it. Those clothes in the other 90% of the store are much, much cuter! I want to shop from THOSE racks. Actually, just knowing I have the choice to shop from those racks is enough for me. I'll probably end up at the consignment store anyway.
 

Well, that's me in a nutshell. Obviously a fan of lists! I need to get to know others here. I need support and I want to support you! I need to know I'm not the only one who can't stand a certain type of chewable bariatric vitamin!
 
Won't you please be my neighbor?

Helllooo!
 
Twice, I spent at least 20 minutes swiping out a blog entry on my phone and then I couldn't get it to publish. So here I am to try again on my computer. The other entry was about a couple of embarrassing situations that helped lead me WLS. I think though, that I'd like to give a little introduction about me and how I got to this point.
 
My name is Leigh (rhymes with eeeee) (One time I had a guy ask me if my name was pronounced Lay because if you put an "S" on the front of my name it'd spell sleigh.) I am 40 years old. I live in Louisville, KY. (Yes, I wear shoes. No, I don't own a horse.) Louisville is a mid-size city. They like to boast that it's the 16th largest city in the nation. Whatever. I have been married for 8 years. I have been an RN for about 5 years. Before marriage and my nursing career, I was a diligent party girl. But, I've settled down in to a cozy little, mostly drama free, life with my husband and our two fur babies.
 
I had various times growing up where I was chubby, but I don't remember ever being made fun of. In high school, I ran around with the popular party crowd and I generally had a good experience. The only thing was I always felt like I was different on the inside than those people I ran around with. By the time I graduated high school, I was in a size 14 and I thought I was fat. Man, lookin back on pictures of me, I was perfect! But I was 5'9" and all my friends were 5'4" and a size 4. Plus, for reasons I can't fathom now, my mother was always trying to bribe me to lose weight. I'm sure some of it was out of concern, maybe some was to try to help me when I complained I was fat. I don't know. I always felt like she was so concerned about appearances (still is) and that somehow she was ashamed of me.
 
I started gaining weight as soon as I got out of high school and over the years I went from a 14 to a 22 by the time I was 30. I probably weighed about 250. I had pretty much always embraced my curves and didn't worry, but when I reached 250, I decided to lose weight. (I had done various other diets over the years.) That time, I lost about 70-80 pounds. I got back into a 14 and I felt great! That time, I just started walking one day. I didn't walk fast, I just took a stroll. Eventually, I worked myself up to where I could run 3 miles. It took me about a year. After a few months, I watched what I ate. It was a great time. I felt empowered. I felt beautiful. But then, life happened. I got a job with a different schedule that wasn't conducive to exercise and I also got into a long term relationship (hubby) and got lazy. And then, over the next ten years, I blew up to a whopping 295 pounds. (Side note, I have known the hubby for many years, so he knew me before I lost weight. He has always loved me, no matter what size I am).
 
Over the last few years, my size really started to affect my life. I didn't want to go out, because I hated my clothes and I hated the way I looked in them. When I was in nursing school, I was also going through a big depression and went on antidepressants which helped me gain the weight. This last year, though, I spent a lot of time mortified by my size. It really affected my self esteem. I knew I had to do something about it.
 
I'm an RN at a big hospital in the city. I have always worked in cardiac areas and I see, every day, the effects of weight on humans. It is bad. Every time a 300 or 400 pound person came in and we put them on the table for a procedure, I would see myself on that table. I have a very strong history of heart attacks and diabetes in my family. Every day, in front, of me was a reminder of what I was doing to myself.
 
I had thought about Lap Band surgery for a couple of years, but could never get myself to ride across town to our sister hospital and go to the seminar. This last May, I had a couple of very embarassing experiences when I went on a convention trip with a few of my coworkers. One involving the seatbelt on the plane and the other being talked into hiking up the side of a mountain. It truely mortified me. Something. Had. To. Happen.
 
One day, this past September, I got on the website for the Bariatric program and lo and behold! You could watch a video of the seminar instead of having to go in. So I did. And I filled out the info below. Two days later, they called me. I was lucky to have it so easy from there. They sent me a packet, which I filled out and returned. They called me a week later, said my insurance was approved. I had a 10 minute appt with the surgeon on October 15th. About 2 weeks later, I had a 5 minute appt with a psychiatrist. They made an appt for me to come in for labs, a barium swallow, and education on Dec 6th. I had one more 10 minute appt with the surgeon on Dec 11th. Then, on December 18th, I was banded!
 
I had quite a bit of discomfort after the surgery and it took me a good couple of weeks to feel normal again. But now, about 4 weeks later, I feel great. I do feel that I have some restriction right off the bat from the surgery. But, is it really restriction? Or can I just not eat as much because I kept to the prescribed diets, watch my protions and calories, and have been practicing getting to know the difference between hungry, not hungry, and full? Maybe a little of all.
 
My husband has been at my side this whole time and we have completely turned around our eating habits. We threw out all of the junk and most of the carbs and have been eating a mainly high protein diet. He has been exercising a lot and I have started walking on the treadmill 4 days a week for 30 minutes. Most of all, we are staying away from sweets and NOT EATING FAST FOOD. We were really bad fast food junkies.
 
I've lost 20 pounds since I started the preop diet. I'm feeling really good. Today was a small setback because I have a really bad head cold and I don't know if I have the energy to walk. But I'm not going to let it bother me. If I feel good tomorrow, I will walk tomorrow.
 
People get to down on themselves when they "slip up" and have something sweet or high calorie. I say, don't let this get you down. You have to "treat" yourself every now and then. Just don't let it become a habit. Make your new habit to be eating healthy and feeling good about yourself. Plan the times you get to eat what you want. For instance, I love to go out to restaurants. We are going to go out every other Friday. When I'm there, am I going to eat fried foods and carbs and desserts? No. I will make a sensible choices. But it will still be fun and nice not to cook. It will be a reward for staying on track for two weeks.
 
I can't believe that I didn't do this sooner. Why did I spend all those years miserable and overweight? Well, I guess we all have to reach that point where we are ready to take control. If you're not ready and not truely comitted, success will be much harder. I have also accepted that my band, Brunhilde (that's her name), is only a tool. I have to make choices that are good for me. I have to committ to change.
 
And things like this website and forum. Visiting and reading other people's stories and advice. I know it will lead to my success and help me keep on track. Do your research. Know what you're getting into. And when you're ready, make the step toward taking control of your life. It's the best thing I have ever done, and it will be for you, too.
 
And to all of the veterans, thank you! Your success and advice make this a place worth visiting.

I believe in Body for Life by Bill phillips. I have always followed that workout program and it works for me. Essentailly 6 days in the gym but not an extensive ammount of time.. 3 days cardio and 3 days weight lifting. I have made it Iterative. I do my cardio then he requires and I do ABS every day. But other than that if your looking to spend no more than 45 minutes per day in the gym this is a great plan!!
 
Christian
Zacconechris@yahoo.com

415 to under 235 I had to do this twice so Never again and Never forget!
 
About 8 years ago i found myself over 400 lbs. I wont put blame but I do have to say I was in an abusive relationship with a women that drank.. So I ate and ate and ate some more. I Decided one January morning that everything was going to change. I advised her unless she stopped drinking it was over. SImple as that and i walked out the door of my home in NH and started walking.. Every day i walked and walked a little longer every week i would increase my walking . Well come May I had done away with her and it was all about me at that point. I ended up getting to about 250 lbs on my own. No surgery this time.. I was happy but had a ton of excess skin. I did my legwork and found a plastic surgeon who did 2 seperate surgeries. My Upper body and my lower body. I will say the upper body surgery was not to bad to remove the "man boobs". The Lower Body the Pandectomy procedure was something I would never do again and glad I dont have to.. Very painful procedure and a scar all the way around my body. Im glad I had it done and im glad the second time around my tummy went back to being flat as a board.
So back to my story.. I had both surgeries feeling good no issues and then one day out of the blue, and ill never forget it was a couple of days before Thanksgiving I stopped going to the gym.. Dont ask me why I have no clue why i did this. I was invisible. I was working out 6-7 days per week and felt good and i just stopped! The weight started going back on. You all know the struggles of a YOYO person. Up and down and up and down. Well soon after that my father passed away. Very very mixed emotions and a heavy heart. I balooned back up to 415lbs + or -.. I stayed that way for the last couple of years.. At almost 45 years old I didnt know what to do. I knew I needed help. I didnt think i could do it on my own again. I found Dr Jiser the chief bariatric surgeon at Lowell general Hospital in Ma. He advised me I was a great candidate for the "Sleeve". he said i would see amazing results and the sleeve was slowly catching up to the bypass as far as results go, So I went for it. I started in April at 415lbs. I got down to 372 on Surgery date June 24th 2013. I kissed my wife and my mom and said lets do this. i was dedicated. I worked out and walked and walked and walked and then started lifting weights again. Well here we are Jan 11th 2014 9 months after taking the initial step in April.. I weighed in just the other day at 232lbs. Thats -183lbs in 9 months. Amazing. Even Dr Jiser said i was so far ahead of schedule. i went from a 52inch waist to a 34. I went from a 4x shirt to a large. I am off all medications!!! I will never ever go back. I am happy. all the frightening stupid things that "NORMAL" people can do I can now do. We all know how frightful it was to get on an airplane or go to a show. Nothing worse then needing an extended seat belt or wondering if you would fit in the movie theater seat. Well No More. never ever again will i be worried about having to get an aisle seat so i wouldnt bother the person next to me. i recently went back to Aruba. We go everyyear and the reactions were funny and amazing. Hardly anyone knew who I was. It was funny but it showed me i was such a different person. The weight loss has also opened my eyes to the discrimination we all face or faced. We all know that people looked at us "heavy" people differently.. I have noticed so many people have a different attitude towards me. It is for the better now but it also shows me how my weight before made people discriminate against me. Well here I am about 20lbs from my high school weight. I want so badly to be able to take this and help others. Id love to start a support group.. Id love to be a counselor at say a weight watchers but amazingly enough to do that I would have to weigh about 180lbs. Yes that is not happening. I have never been that low and will never get that low. I would look unhealthy. Im trying to break through and figure out ways to reach out to people in similiar situations and help. This weight loss has changed my whole life. I will never look back but I will never forget!!
 
Christian Zaccone
Zacconechris@yahoo.com

Today I look at my life and I am thankful. I am thankful for my loving family. I am thankful for a good job and a steady income. I am thankful for my Lapband and for getting my life back.
 
I look at who I was 18 months ago, 250 pounds of misery. I didn’t care about myself or how I looked. I would wear potato sack clothes, I never wore make-up or jewelry, I looked like a tired old lady and I didn’t care. I couldn’t exercise, just walking up the 4 steps into my house would put me out of breath. I really hated myself!
 
Thankfully I did something about it. I got the Lapband and lost 80 pounds. I went from size 22 to size 10 and have never felt better. I take pride in the clothes I wear (no more potato sacks for me ~ I hate baggy clothes now, lol), I love to wear jewelry and make-up. I want to look good, my smile is from ear to ear. Life is so enjoyable now.
 
So many things have opened up to me since my band. My husband and I have doubled the amount of land we use for gardening because I can physically help manage it. We increased our flock of chickens to 30 birds because I can physically help manage them. I find myself always on the go, moving doing this & that because I can physically do it. I even got my concealed handgun license (Never shot a gun before 6 months ago).
 
All this because I decided to change. Yes, I changed everything….. No more fast food, soda, junk food, midnight bowls of cereal, or gallons of ice cream and no more sitting on my ass watching TV all day. Do I miss these things? Sometimes. But if I have cravings I have a small portion of whatever I’m craving. Day to day I don’t miss a thing.
 
Life is too precious to waste it away on pizza and greasy burgers or cake and candy. I am thankful for my rebirth on February 6, 2012 and I promise to live a health happy life. I deserve nothing less.

Happy New Year! I had an amazing holiday. I can't believe how quickly I threw all my healthy eating out the window. I was on vacation for 10 days. For some reason I immediately converted back to pre-band eating. Which is also known as out of control. After I got off the plane, I immediately went through the drive thru and ordered a family pack of fried chicken strips and a side order of mac and cheese. After that I ate non stop. And I had complete mixed emotions - on one hand it felt so good, it had been a long time since I ate like that. But on the other hand I had about 6 stuck episodes in 10 days and felt guilty a lot of the time. All of my stuck episodes were because I was shoveling food in my mouth as fast as I possibly could. It tasted so good. So good. Soooooo good.
 
Prior to going on vacation I felt I was on the right track with everything - I was measuring portions, logging my food, eating protein first, cutting out almost all sugar. And I wasn't miserable - I didn't feel like I was dieting. I didn't really miss eating crappily. (Well, except every once in a while when I watched co-workers devour huge pieces of cake ...)
 
So why did I immediately go back to eating like a maniac? I definitely went to my vacation knowing I would indulge a little bit. But I thought it would be a little bit here and there - instead it was literally every meal with snacks in between.
 
I know at least for one thing that I am not in the green zone yet. It's been 6 months, and I'm close, but not there. I can eat 2 enormous slices of pizza (ie - half the pizza) and still want more. That is really frustrating. Like, really frustrating. I might have higher expectations for my band than it is designed for. But is it too much to ask to want to be full/satisfied on a small portion of food?!?!? Apparently.
 
But - I've been back for 4 days and every day has been a good day. I feel off the wagon, but I am right back on and for that, I am so grateful and proud. I was worried it would be the beginning of my demise, but instead it's just a 10 day oops. Hooray me!

Weight Loss Surgery (VSG) TMI Do You Weigh After A Poop? You are not alone!
 
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Keep Pimpin' that Sleeve!
 
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You are probably wondering what I am talking about? Allow me to explain.
 
My furnace got fix on Monday and when I got home Monday night I notice there was a smell in my laundry room. I figure that my furnace was smelly because it just got service they normally put a deodorant spray in my furnace to make my house smell good so I figure they probably forgot. It was late anyway I did my 30 min works out, took a nice long bath and went to bed.
 
Yesterday morning when I was leaving the house I noticed that the smell was still there so I open a window in my laundry room to try to air it out.
When I got home last night the smell was still there so I went in my house to see if my house smelled to and there was no smell in house.
 
I knew something was not right so I got in my car and got far away from my house. I called my parents to let them know what was going on. Then I called my local electric company (Ameren) and told them I think I may have a gas leak because my laundry room smelled like gas.
 
 
Within 10 min Ameren was at my house. Dale was the guy they sent (which was very cute by the way) Dale first looked at my furnace and there was no signal but when he got to my washer and dryer guess what? There was a signal! By this time I was at my back door ready to run! Dale found the leak and he asked me how long have I been living here? I told it will be 5 years in February then he asked me to come over there because I had to see this.
 
I walked over and I see the wine cork being used as a plug in the gas line! I said “What the F*ck is that a F*cking cork?!” Dale took out the cork and was able to fix it the right way. The picture above is the cork. A million things was going thru my mind after he left. The first thought was how did the home inspector missed this and how long has it been like this? So I had a couple glasses of wine last night but I couldn’t sleep my nerves were too bad
Today I am doing better and I am thankful to be alive. When I get to the day care I am going to give the day care kids a big hug!
 
God is Good!
 
Thank you for reading.