Leepers

Today is my 6th day on my pre-op diet, and it has been the easiest so far. While I still find the shakes and vegetable concoctions in my recipe book nauseating, mentally I am finding it easier to get through it. I have no more sugar cravings or cravings for any junk food, which to me is a miracle. I never thought I could stop eating sweets so quickly. I am craving food, but mostly protein, like chicken and hard boiled eggs, and I would kill for some chicken broth!
 
I'm not saying it's easy now. I'm still counting the hours until my surgery. Today I feel the best mentally that I have in months. My head feels clear. I'm not in a fog. I wonder if it also has something to do with cutting out the diet soda. I am using sugar free syrups in my shakes, but that's nowhere near the amount of artificial sweetener I consumed drinking 3 or 4 cans of diet soda every day.
 
I know why I'm doing this. I have my goals in the forefront of my mind. Eight more days of revolting shakes and nothing else...I can do it!

I had a busier day today. Did a few things around the house, and a little grocery shopping. I feel a little run down & the left side of my side / back hurts a little too (close to where my incision is, where the band was removed).
 
Tomorrow I can start eating soft foods (not pureed). Only 2 tablespoons, and I think only 3 - 5 times for the day. I suppose it's better than sipping clear liquids. Basically,I'm looking at cream of wheat, low fat or FF smooth yogurt, creamy based soups, mashed potatoes made with milk & 1 tablespoon of melted cheese (oh, I can't wait for that), and SF puddings,,, a few more things but that's the gist of it.
 
Hum, what to have for breakfast..... I can smell the little itty bitty bit of cream of wheat already... wonder if I can add a tad bit of nutmeg or cinnamon. It's not spicy or full of sugar so I hope so...

Here is a breakdown of how I spent my 60 minutes today at the new gym we joined:
 
1 minute- deciding if I wanted to use the treadmill in the giant room with all of the exercise bunnies
2 minutes-picking out the treadmill and wondering where to put my sweatshirt I had taken off
1 minute- thinking I looked really new to this
1 minute- sneaking glances at the other people, noticing all the old people that were there and realizing
that I was the fattest person there
45 minutes- walking on the treadmill
 
While on the treadmill:
20 minutes- wondering how many people behind me were staring at my fat butt and
hoping my pants weren't riding up the crack of my a$$.
5 minutes- doing fat girl adjustments to my clothes to make sure my belly wasn't
hanging out
1 minute- trying to sneak glances to see how fast other people were walking
19 minutes- feeling good about my performance and listening to Pandora 80's Cardio
Channel to get my groove on
 
5 minutes- trying out an elliptical machine for the first time. thinking wtf? this does not feel natural.
5 minutes- waiting for my hubby to finish his stuff and checking out the group classes and deciding
we need to go to the beginning yoga class tonight.
 
Really, it was great. I've been walking on my treadmill at home so I'm not totally out of shape. I must say that the presence of other people does motivate me to do better. I walked for 45 minutes at 3.0 to 3.4 mph. I felt good about my work out.
 
Mostly I was happy that my husband and I went to the gym together. I have dreamed of this moment for years. That someday, he would become interested in something other than the television and we could do it together.
 
I'm happy.

Here is a breakdown of how I spent my 60 minutes today at the new gym we joined:
 
1 minute- deciding if I wanted to use the treadmill in the giant room with all of the exercise bunnies
2 minutes-picking out the treadmill and wondering where to put my sweatshirt I had taken off
1 minute- thinking I looked really new to this
1 minute- sneaking glances at the other people, noticing all the old people that were there and realizing
that I was the fattest person there
45 minutes- walking on the treadmill
 
While on the treadmill:
20 minutes- wondering how many people behind me were staring at my fat butt and
hoping my pants weren't riding up the crack of my a$$.
5 minutes- doing fat girl adjustments to my clothes to make sure my belly wasn't
hanging out
1 minute- trying to sneak glances to see how fast other people were walking
19 minutes- feeling good about my performance and listening to Pandora 80's Cardio
Channel to get my groove on
 
5 minutes- trying out an elliptical machine for the first time. thinking wtf? this does not feel natural.
5 minutes- waiting for my hubby to finish his stuff and checking out the group classes and deciding
we need to go to the beginning yoga class tonight.
 
Really, it was great. I've been walking on my treadmill at home so I'm not totally out of shape. I must say that the presence of other people does motivate me to do better. I walked for 45 minutes at 3.0 to 3.4 mph. I felt good about my work out.
 
Mostly I was happy that my husband and I went to the gym together. I have dreamed of this moment for years. That someday, he would become interested in something other than the television and we could do it together.
 
I'm happy.

Here is a breakdown of how I spent my 60 minutes today at the new gym we joined:
 
1 minute- deciding if I wanted to use the treadmill in the giant room with all of the exercise bunnies
2 minutes-picking out the treadmill and wondering where to put my sweatshirt I had taken off
1 minute- thinking I looked really new to this
1 minute- sneaking glances at the other people, noticing all the old people that were there and realizing
that I was the fattest person there
45 minutes- walking on the treadmill
 
While on the treadmill:
20 minutes- wondering how many people behind me were staring at my fat butt and
hoping my pants weren't riding up the crack of my a$$.
5 minutes- doing fat girl adjustments to my clothes to make sure my belly wasn't
hanging out
1 minute- trying to sneak glances to see how fast other people were walking
19 minutes- feeling good about my performance and listening to Pandora 80's Cardio
Channel to get my groove on
 
5 minutes- trying out an elliptical machine for the first time. thinking wtf? this does not feel natural.
5 minutes- waiting for my hubby to finish his stuff and checking out the group classes and deciding
we need to go to the beginning yoga class tonight.
 
Really, it was great. I've been walking on my treadmill at home so I'm not totally out of shape. I must say that the presence of other people does motivate me to do better. I walked for 45 minutes at 3.0 to 3.4 mph. I felt good about my work out.
 
Mostly I was happy that my husband and I went to the gym together. I have dreamed of this moment for years. That someday, he would become interested in something other than the television and we could do it together.
 
I'm happy.

Today is Day 5 of my pre-op shake diet. I'm really growing to dread "meal time". I guess it doesn't help that I've also been sick the past few days. All I want is a little soup. I've been eating my vegetables for dinner. I never thought I'd ever be looking forward to eating asparagus and cauliflower!
 
I'm doing this for a reason. It will all be worth it when I start dropping pounds. This is the first time in years that I actually have a chance to get down to a reasonable size. Right now my first goal isn't even getting out of plus size clothes sizes. I've been shopping in plus size stores for so long! It really doesn't bother me. My first goal is to be able to shop in the regular section of stores that sell XXL like Old Navy or Target. I guess that would make my first goal a size 18. From here at 4X, that seems like a long way off, but I know I can do it!

I gave myself and my daughter post-Christmas presents, memberships at Planet Fitness. Since I don't drive and PF allows you to bring a guest, my son gets one by association - he will be my driver.
 
The problem is that with this extreme cold weather, my fibro has been in overdrive. I don't like to go out when it is really cold because it aggravates my pain so I've been following the exercises set up by my pre-op personal trainer and my post-op physcial therapist.

Last week I was losing weight like crazy. This week the weight loss slowed to a crawl and hit a speed bump.
 
I did keep up with my exercise. And I faithfully, brutally honestly, kept up with entries in My Fitness Pal. I am eating soooo much better than I used to. No fast food, no sodas. Lots of healthy food.
 
This week though, I ate out 3 times and went to gatherings at a friend's house twice this weekend.
 
Wednesday I went to lunch at Chuy's (a mexican restaurant). I felt I made a really good choice with my meal. Lot's of protein, not much carbs. Didn't even finish it. Only ate about 5 chips from the basket of never ending chips.
 
Later that night the hubby and I went to dinner with his parents at Texas Roadhouse. The thought of it mortified me.That place seems so unhealthy. I looked at the menu online before I went so I would already know what I wanted. I had Grilled Shrimp with rice and broccoli. I only ate about 1/4 cup of the rice and all 10 shrimp. I had 10 peanuts so that I would stay away from the bread but I did pinch off a small piece of the bread and dip it in that delicious cinnamon butter.
 
Thursday I worked my butt off at work and picked up Chinese for dinner. I've really been trying to stay away from the carbs but I'll allow myself some rice every now and then. I ate leftovers for lunch the next day on Friday.
 
Friday I had a long exhausting day at work. Some friends had invited us over to see their new house. We had appetizers and I drank an entire bottle of wine! Oh boy! 615 calories worth of wine down the hatch! Plus appetizers. I didn't go crazy over them, but it was hard not too. I had about 8 meatballs and a couple of spring rolls. And it was the first time I have gone over my daily calorie limit on My Fitness Pal.
 
The next day I was up a pound. Of course.
 
I am a daily weigher. I know some people think you shouldn't but I'm a rational person. I know weight goes up and down. I like though, that that one pound makes me say, hey! don't eat so much today.
 
That night, Saturday night, we unexpectedly went over to a friend's house for her birthday. And again. Appetizers and wine. This time I didn't drink a whole bottle, but I had a few glasses.
 
My Fitness Pal almost reached out and slapped me in the face.
 
And...I was up another 1/2 pound.
 
I really haven't eaten out since I had my surgery, then all of a sudden it was like everyday. It made me feel a little out of control. Though I can guesstimate calories on My Fitness Pal, you don't really know how that food is being prepared behind the scenes. Bobby the cook could be a little heavy handed with the butter.
 
Oh and the wine. Whine whine. I love my wine. I don't drink all the time. Maybe an average of two to three times a month, but when I do, I like to catch a good buzz. But the calories!!! I guess I will really have to watch my meals a lot better on those days.
 
I'm looking forward to my first fill this Tuesday to help with the between meals hunger. And this week all meals will be made at home. No wine for a while. No whine for a while.

"As I look back over my life, and I think things over, I can truly say that I've been blessed" I'm headed in to get my labs drawn for my one year appointment that is coming up very soon! I am just in shock over the fact that I was able to take this journey. I am so happy with the decision I made over a year ago to pursue WLS. I would have to say, without a doubt, that is the best and hardest decision I have ever made. There were days when I wanted to give up and had eaten badly, but I got back on the saddle and rode this one out! This morning I stepped on the scale to discover that I have lost 98lbs! That is 4 additional lbs to the last time I checked. I now completely understand that this is life-changing. I will never stop maintaining what I have worked so hard for. I have spent $$$ on vitamins, co-pays, supplements, medicines, etc. I am invested and I want to protect this investment of good health with living healthy. I feel like a different person when I step into public places. I am no longer as insecure and ashamed as I walked around feeling for years. I feel like I might cry through my entire appt this week. They have a picture of me the day before surgery. I have not seen it, but I know I am bigger than my license picture. As a reward to myself (and getting tired of people focusing and questioning that I am the person on my license) I am going to the Secretary of State to get a new picture and new license mailed to me. This will be another little happy gift to myself. It truly is the NSV that make me so content. Congratulations to the people that are celebrating their one year surgery anniversaries with me this month! I know I was on this site 24/7 as I rested after surgery. I am so appreciative for all the great advice on the blogs and chat rooms here. I couldn't have made it so well through my first month without this site. I started back when this site was verticalsleevetalk.com. Thank you everyone for the encouragement when I needed it, and the advice to give me discipline. I am emotional now just writing this. We have all made it over hurdles that we didn't know we had the strength to do.

Last week I was losing weight like crazy. This week the weight loss slowed to a crawl and hit a speed bump.
 
I did keep up with my exercise. And I faithfully, brutally honestly, kept up with entries in My Fitness Pal. I am eating soooo much better than I used to. No fast food, no sodas. Lots of healthy food.
 
This week though, I ate out 3 times and went to gatherings at a friend's house twice this weekend.
 
Wednesday I went to lunch at Chuy's (a mexican restaurant). I felt I made a really good choice with my meal. Lot's of protein, not much carbs. Didn't even finish it. Only ate about 5 chips from the basket of never ending chips.
 
Later that night the hubby and I went to dinner with his parents at Texas Roadhouse. The thought of it mortified me.That place seems so unhealthy. I looked at the menu online before I went so I would already know what I wanted. I had Grilled Shrimp with rice and broccoli. I only ate about 1/4 cup of the rice and all 10 shrimp. I had 10 peanuts so that I would stay away from the bread but I did pinch off a small piece of the bread and dip it in that delicious cinnamon butter.
 
Thursday I worked my butt off at work and picked up Chinese for dinner. I've really been trying to stay away from the carbs but I'll allow myself some rice every now and then. I ate leftovers for lunch the next day on Friday.
 
Friday I had a long exhausting day at work. Some friends had invited us over to see their new house. We had appetizers and I drank an entire bottle of wine! Oh boy! 615 calories worth of wine down the hatch! Plus appetizers. I didn't go crazy over them, but it was hard not too. I had about 8 meatballs and a couple of spring rolls. And it was the first time I have gone over my daily calorie limit on My Fitness Pal.
 
The next day I was up a pound. Of course.
 
I am a daily weigher. I know some people think you shouldn't but I'm a rational person. I know weight goes up and down. I like though, that that one pound makes me say, hey! don't eat so much today.
 
That night, Saturday night, we unexpectedly went over to a friend's house for her birthday. And again. Appetizers and wine. This time I didn't drink a whole bottle, but I had a few glasses.
 
My Fitness Pal almost reached out and slapped me in the face.
 
And...I was up another 1/2 pound.
 
I really haven't eaten out since I had my surgery, then all of a sudden it was like everyday. It made me feel a little out of control. Though I can guesstimate calories on My Fitness Pal, you don't really know how that food is being prepared behind the scenes. Bobby the cook could be a little heavy handed with the butter.
 
Oh and the wine. Whine whine. I love my wine. I don't drink all the time. Maybe an average of two to three times a month, but when I do, I like to catch a good buzz. But the calories!!! I guess I will really have to watch my meals a lot better on those days.
 
I'm looking forward to my first fill this Tuesday to help with the between meals hunger. And this week all meals will be made at home. No wine for a while. No whine for a while.

Well, it is finally arriving. Surgery is in 15 hours. Tonight I have to take a shower with the special soap they provided, and then another in the morning before I go. I am nervous beyond belief!! I arrive at the hospital at 5am (and I am NOT a morning person), and surgery is at 7:15. I should be out by no later than 9am and in recovery if all goes well. My sweet hubby will be with me, and will keep my bag until I am assigned a room. I am supposed to have my 2 shakes today and a lean cuisine for dinner. Nothing to eat or drink after midnight except enough water to swallow my meds. I am taking them out of the capsules for quicker absorbency.
They checked my gallbladder, pancreas, and spleen on Friday to see if anything else needs attention while they are in there. I also have a hiatal hernia they are going to fix. Gallbladder disease runs in my family, so they thought it might need to come out too. I don't know the test results yet, so I guess I'll find out when I get there!
I was blessed with my TOM today (I am sure from stress), so now I get to deal with that while I am in the hospital as well. I have heard this is not uncommon for women who are still menstruating, so I guess I can manage. If this happens to you, be sure to take your favorite products with you as I hear that what they provide is terrible. At least my surgeon said I don't have to have a Foley since I don't have bladder issues. That is some consolation!!
I am mostly worried about my mother while I am gone. She has Parkinson's, and I have been her primary caretaker for almost 7 years. She is now in the final stages, and I am just praying she won't pass while I am in the hospital. My sister is going to help take care of her while I am gone, and that was the first thing she said to me, so it's not just my imagination. She is getting close! The hospice nurses believe so too. I guess if it happens it is God's plan to spare me of it, so I will accept his will. I just hope that I am wrong. She wants this for me, so she may be waiting to see that I do it, and that I'm alright before she goes. I am doing this partly for her, as she has worried about my health. It's just tough to go into this with that much stress, and worry. It makes it hard to concentrate on me, and I need to do that to get through this without problems.
Please say a prayer for me or at least send out some good vibes! I could really use them!
Tina

This week has been very stressful! I would catch myself picking something up unhealthy to eat and stop right before I took a bite. I've come a long way baby! This is the type of munching I have always done.
 
This brings me to my next point. I was not happy with the changes to the site originally; however, my viewpoint has changed. When I need to keep focused I get on here and read and respond to people and it gets my brain back on track. I don't even mind reading the negative stuff. I actually find it comical. NOT ALL - there are exception to every rule, but for the most part they are not working their band.
 
So, today I put down that potato chip and grabbed a Greek yogurt. I didn't realize I had the WILL to WANT this so badly... but I do!
 
Here's to letting go of the things I cannot control and focusing on what I CAN CONTROL.

Weight loss surgery before and after:
Saying goodbye to 130lbs 10 months post-op. I usually avoided the camera pre-surgery, but I must have made this video sometime around Nov or Dec 2012, just before weight loss surgery.
 
The vertical sleeve gastrectomy was the best decision I have ever made for myself. Don't get me wrong, it hasn't been a smooth ride every day, but I would do it over again in a heartbeat.
 
If you like/dislike my videos, please thumb up or down, and leave a comment about how I could improve the content. Your input helps me become a better Youtuber. :-)
 
Keep Pimpin' that Sleeve!
 
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Helllooo!
 
Twice, I spent at least 20 minutes swiping out a blog entry on my phone and then I couldn't get it to publish. So here I am to try again on my computer. The other entry was about a couple of embarrassing situations that helped lead me WLS. I think though, that I'd like to give a little introduction about me and how I got to this point.
 
My name is Leigh (rhymes with eeeee) (One time I had a guy ask me if my name was pronounced Lay because if you put an "S" on the front of my name it'd spell sleigh.) I am 40 years old. I live in Louisville, KY. (Yes, I wear shoes. No, I don't own a horse.) Louisville is a mid-size city. They like to boast that it's the 16th largest city in the nation. Whatever. I have been married for 8 years. I have been an RN for about 5 years. Before marriage and my nursing career, I was a diligent party girl. But, I've settled down in to a cozy little, mostly drama free, life with my husband and our two fur babies.
 
I had various times growing up where I was chubby, but I don't remember ever being made fun of. In high school, I ran around with the popular party crowd and I generally had a good experience. The only thing was I always felt like I was different on the inside than those people I ran around with. By the time I graduated high school, I was in a size 14 and I thought I was fat. Man, lookin back on pictures of me, I was perfect! But I was 5'9" and all my friends were 5'4" and a size 4. Plus, for reasons I can't fathom now, my mother was always trying to bribe me to lose weight. I'm sure some of it was out of concern, maybe some was to try to help me when I complained I was fat. I don't know. I always felt like she was so concerned about appearances (still is) and that somehow she was ashamed of me.
 
I started gaining weight as soon as I got out of high school and over the years I went from a 14 to a 22 by the time I was 30. I probably weighed about 250. I had pretty much always embraced my curves and didn't worry, but when I reached 250, I decided to lose weight. (I had done various other diets over the years.) That time, I lost about 70-80 pounds. I got back into a 14 and I felt great! That time, I just started walking one day. I didn't walk fast, I just took a stroll. Eventually, I worked myself up to where I could run 3 miles. It took me about a year. After a few months, I watched what I ate. It was a great time. I felt empowered. I felt beautiful. But then, life happened. I got a job with a different schedule that wasn't conducive to exercise and I also got into a long term relationship (hubby) and got lazy. And then, over the next ten years, I blew up to a whopping 295 pounds. (Side note, I have known the hubby for many years, so he knew me before I lost weight. He has always loved me, no matter what size I am).
 
Over the last few years, my size really started to affect my life. I didn't want to go out, because I hated my clothes and I hated the way I looked in them. When I was in nursing school, I was also going through a big depression and went on antidepressants which helped me gain the weight. This last year, though, I spent a lot of time mortified by my size. It really affected my self esteem. I knew I had to do something about it.
 
I'm an RN at a big hospital in the city. I have always worked in cardiac areas and I see, every day, the effects of weight on humans. It is bad. Every time a 300 or 400 pound person came in and we put them on the table for a procedure, I would see myself on that table. I have a very strong history of heart attacks and diabetes in my family. Every day, in front, of me was a reminder of what I was doing to myself.
 
I had thought about Lap Band surgery for a couple of years, but could never get myself to ride across town to our sister hospital and go to the seminar. This last May, I had a couple of very embarassing experiences when I went on a convention trip with a few of my coworkers. One involving the seatbelt on the plane and the other being talked into hiking up the side of a mountain. It truely mortified me. Something. Had. To. Happen.
 
One day, this past September, I got on the website for the Bariatric program and lo and behold! You could watch a video of the seminar instead of having to go in. So I did. And I filled out the info below. Two days later, they called me. I was lucky to have it so easy from there. They sent me a packet, which I filled out and returned. They called me a week later, said my insurance was approved. I had a 10 minute appt with the surgeon on October 15th. About 2 weeks later, I had a 5 minute appt with a psychiatrist. They made an appt for me to come in for labs, a barium swallow, and education on Dec 6th. I had one more 10 minute appt with the surgeon on Dec 11th. Then, on December 18th, I was banded!
 
I had quite a bit of discomfort after the surgery and it took me a good couple of weeks to feel normal again. But now, about 4 weeks later, I feel great. I do feel that I have some restriction right off the bat from the surgery. But, is it really restriction? Or can I just not eat as much because I kept to the prescribed diets, watch my protions and calories, and have been practicing getting to know the difference between hungry, not hungry, and full? Maybe a little of all.
 
My husband has been at my side this whole time and we have completely turned around our eating habits. We threw out all of the junk and most of the carbs and have been eating a mainly high protein diet. He has been exercising a lot and I have started walking on the treadmill 4 days a week for 30 minutes. Most of all, we are staying away from sweets and NOT EATING FAST FOOD. We were really bad fast food junkies.
 
I've lost 20 pounds since I started the preop diet. I'm feeling really good. Today was a small setback because I have a really bad head cold and I don't know if I have the energy to walk. But I'm not going to let it bother me. If I feel good tomorrow, I will walk tomorrow.
 
People get to down on themselves when they "slip up" and have something sweet or high calorie. I say, don't let this get you down. You have to "treat" yourself every now and then. Just don't let it become a habit. Make your new habit to be eating healthy and feeling good about yourself. Plan the times you get to eat what you want. For instance, I love to go out to restaurants. We are going to go out every other Friday. When I'm there, am I going to eat fried foods and carbs and desserts? No. I will make a sensible choices. But it will still be fun and nice not to cook. It will be a reward for staying on track for two weeks.
 
I can't believe that I didn't do this sooner. Why did I spend all those years miserable and overweight? Well, I guess we all have to reach that point where we are ready to take control. If you're not ready and not truely comitted, success will be much harder. I have also accepted that my band, Brunhilde (that's her name), is only a tool. I have to make choices that are good for me. I have to committ to change.
 
And things like this website and forum. Visiting and reading other people's stories and advice. I know it will lead to my success and help me keep on track. Do your research. Know what you're getting into. And when you're ready, make the step toward taking control of your life. It's the best thing I have ever done, and it will be for you, too.
 
And to all of the veterans, thank you! Your success and advice make this a place worth visiting.

Hello everyone. I haven't been writing lately but I have been reading. Sorry, just been busy with life.
Today I go for a 3 month check up and I failed. How did I fail? I didn't lose any weight but stayed within 3-5 pounds of my last visit. When I go and get a fill it is very tiny under .4cc. My doctor goes slow.
 
I have not been to the gym since November but I pay every month.
Joke of the day: What do gyms call people like me, who pay and don't go? Profit!!
 
I had an ugly thing on my forehead and had it removed the other day and have 2 blue stitches. So right now bending over makes me a little dizzy. But I have gym clothes on. I bought a new 'outfit' yesterday. The real Arlene likes outfits not separates. I am nuts. When I skied many moons ago (I learned at 40) my skis, boots, poles and my ski outfits all matched and had the same colors. I am nuts. I am so nutty that I have sox to match sweaters. Orange stripes. I buy men's sox because I wear a size 12 shoe.
 
So soon I will be at the doctor's and he won't be pleased with my weight not being down. Everyone have a great weekend.
Please cheer for the NE Patriots!!!! We need a super bowl, because we are Boston Strong. Speaking of Boston Strong, that came after the marathon bombings, the RMV just approved a new license plate with Boston Strong on it! Some of the money will go to the marathon survivors.
Enjoy your weekend.
Arlene

So, surgery went well.
 
The nurses were great with pain management. I had to self medicate myself & unfortunately that meant I was awake every hour on the hour. Needless to say, I was exhausted this morning. I did a lot of walking last night because I knew how important it was. I started 2 hours after surgery & every 4 hours thereafter. I wasn't in pain or anything, just uncomfortable. They moved me to liquid vicodin this morning.
 
I'd been having ice chips all night & it felt good. No issues with it at all. It's 10:30am & they just brought me lemonade crystal lite powder, an ounce of SF jello & what looks like an ounce of broth. Just finished up the jello. I think I can actually feel it going down. Took me about 15 minutes, doing it it slowly to make sure it goes down ok. They said the broth can take up to 30 minutes to eat, so will do that slowly. They gave me little measuring cups so I know how much an ounce is.
 
I just took a quick shower. Didn't wash my hair since I did that yesterday before coming here. But I did put on a little makeup since I looked like a zombie, LOL. Felt good to just wash up a little. Overall, I feel like my side hurts, but I understand that's where my lap band was & that's going to be sore.
 
I was told that they will try to get me out by 2pm. It's almost 11am now. I may blog again later, depends how I feel. I'm definitely a little achy but more tired than anything right now. They just gave me my 2nd dose of liquid vicodin. I imagine my next does will be around 2pm, perhaps right before I leave

I am 8 months post-op and 92 lbs down! I am loving my self more and more and enjoy the new life I have been given. The best part is that my back doesn't hurt like it did before and my knees sing praises of joy instead of screaming in pain. I am currently off all my medication and feel much younger then I used to! It is also nice how my husband finds me very sexy!
 
Well my journey so far has not been easy. I am trying to find new ways of getting my protien down (sorry but those protien shakes are not always the best) and figuring out how to get my water in (64 oz is really not that much, yet I struggle with it a lot). With my last visit to the doctor, I told her that my goal weight was 130 and she looked at me and said, that would not be a healthy weight for you. So we have made my new goal of 150. This means I only have 18 more lbs to go!!! I can't wait!!!! I have found more confidence it the things I do and have even joined our church Priase Team! I love music and being able to worship God is even better!!!!
 
I have been asked the same question over and over again, and the answer has always been the same - Do you regret having the surgery? My Answer: Only that I didn't do it sooner!!!

I cant believe it but i have not eaten not even a bite of processed food in over 2 weeks.
 
The only drinks i have had are cold water and Almond Milk.
 
My whole family jumped on board, so we sold all our unopened processed food to friends, and stocked up on healthy spelt and almond flour, rapadura/panela sugar and coconut sugar, and a heap of fresh veggies and some fruit (we are not big fruit fans, we like it but dont crave it) . I and my eldest son drink almond milk as dairy milk makes us feel sick, so instead of soy milk we turned to the healthier and much more tastier Almond Milk. My youngest son and my husband drink full cream dairy milk, as fat free milk has a higher sugar content and has traces of white paint (as it needs to look like milk since all the fat/white stuff has been removed) and the full cream has healthy fats that the body can process easier anyway.
 
I have stuck to my high protein 1/2 cup of food per meal every day and so far in 5 weeks have lost 16 pounds. So happy with that effort.
 
When i went to say hi to my medical clinic staff, they were amazed by the transformation my face and belly are making. The nurse said my facial skin looks so beautiful and healthy, so i told her about going off all processed foods and drinking almost a gallon of water a day and she was so happy for me.
 
A few other people commented how great my skin looks.
 
I am so excited with this change and have so so SOOOO much more energy.

Mkay I suppose this is a good place to track my experiences and maybe look back on them at some point?
I am one week post op and I am feeling better than expected. I have a lot of gassy stomach discomfort, but continue to follow the liquid diet as instructed. I get to have full liquids tomorrow which I am quite excited about! (yay) Surprisingly I am not starving like I thought I would be, but it may be because I am so bloated. I am constantly drinking something and I have this "Belly Gas."
So far this week alone I have lost 9.3 lbs! I do realize that is because I am not eating any real food, but I will take the victory anyway.
I still have some discomfort and continue to take my pain medication - though stretching out the times I take it. I also use a heating pad on my stomach which is very soothing. I am excited to move on with this journey and hope I keep the strength and determination to do what I am supposed to do. I would love to be at a comfortable place (weight-wise) by October when I go on a cruise. Haha! I know it is one day at a time, but it is still a nice thought
Will try to remember to update this blog next week... to update on my weekly progress/thoughts.

I had my first appointment with my surgeon 2 days ago. In the days leading up to it I had dreams of getting a date during the visit and nightmares of psych evals that deemed me crazy because my mother died two years ago. I was filled with a lot of feelings at that appointment. Me and my boyfriend Michael went in knowing a lot, but not realizing what exactly would happen.
 
I met my surgeon, and she was almost ecstatic to have me as a patient. I don't have any road blocks, or pescky insurance companies to deal with. (Sidebar: I am so thankful I am able to be self pay, and my heart really goes out to all of you guys that are dealing with the a*****e insurance companies) I was given the list of the 2 tests I needed done and a sheet for my PCP to sign to give clearence. She also gave me my pre op diet. I was not given a date, but the timeline of once all the tests are in, about 3-4 weeks out. For some reason, even after all of my dreaming this was now real and immediate.
 
I am still partially in shock and close to overwhelmed that all of this is happening and happening so quickly. I am trying to sort through all of my anxieties and finding new ones that focus on failing post op along the way. These are ones I wouldn't dare to speak aloud, I feel like if I give them that much credit they will come true. I want this so bad. Losing this weight will mean so much for me. I will no longer be inhibited by my own body. I should have a surgery date by next week. I am thrilled and scared and excited. The journey is beginging. I'm like Frodo heading out of the Shire to lands unknown, on journey with a far away goal and countless unknown obstacles ahead. "Mordor, Gandalf, is it left or right?"

Frequently Asked Questions - What was the last straw the made you choose weight loss surgery?
 
I was at my lowest point physically and mentally in July 2012. I knew that my health would continue to deteriorate and I'd only become more and more depressed if I didn't make a change. Some people claim that weight loss surgery is the easy way out, but I needed the extra help from WLS to dig myself out of the hole I was in.
 
It's kinda funny that society ridicules you for being overweight and then ridicules you again if you don't lose the weight "the right way."
 
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Please forgive me. I really need to get all of this out of my head, however, I'm emotionally exhausted after my appointment today, and this is probably going to be long and rambley. It's more for me, than you anyway, but if it helps you, great!
 
After a sleepless night, I met with my Surgeon this morning at 9am. A one hour appointment lasted almost 3. They weighed me (350.4 ), took my height (5'8" ) and before photos (glad I did my hair and makeup, because I certainly didn't expect that ).
 
Side note: when I was younger, I had surgery to correct scoliosis; after surgery, I was told I was 5'7 3/4". As an adult, I'm usually told I'm about 5'6", and assumed shrinking. Today, they measured me at 5'8" on the dot. I felt the thingy on the top of my head, lightly, but unlike usual, I really tried to stand up straight (and proud). Though I'm rather dubious about this, I'll stop saying I'm 5'6" and go back to saying I'm 5'7 3/4".
 
Anyway, about the appointment. A nurse took down all my stats, bp, pulse, temp. I questioned her over my bp and pulse; both were remarkably NORMAL, which couldn't possibly be... I could have sworn my heart was going to beat out of my chest, I was so nervous about the appointment. Then she proceeded to log all the meds and vitamins I had brought in as per their request. The majority of the vitamins I don't take on a consistent basis... maybe if I did I would be healthier. When the nurse was done with me, the surgeon came in.
 
I'd met her briefly before, at the orientation several weeks before. She shook my hand and sincerely asked why I looked so familiar When I told her I went to the seminar, she remembered me, which was surprising because there were well over 25 people in attendance and I didn't speak with her after as others did, I just thanked her and handed in my application. That simple act put me at ease though. I forget how the simplest acts can often mean the world to others.
 
She went over my medical history, why I was considering surgery, and we talked about the enigma of obesity and how researchers are getting closer and closer to understanding why some struggle with it and others don't. She says they are right on the cusp. Which is exciting, and nice to meet a doctor who really understands this is more about more than just 'will power', I mean, hell, I'm one of the most stubborn people you'll ever meet, cut my nose despite my face, so I know will power, I have will power... just not always over food. And, I don't know why. It's like a switch.
 
She examined me, and felt up my liver. I was amazed she could feel through all my chub, but she said she could, and she was impressed it isn't as enlarged as she would expect it to be for my size, and because of that, I don't need to lose as much weight before surgery as she originally thought. She says 20#. I told her I wanted to lose 50# before surgery. She said, "Ok, 25#"! Lol! She also commented because I carry my weight 'all over' (not an apple or a pear) I'm relatively healthy.
 
I ended up having well over 30 questions, and really thought my surgeon was going to be seriously irritated with me. She was just the opposite, saying she appreciated the questions, they were smart, and being better informed will help me have appropriate expectation. She actually remarked she felt I was intelligent and highly motivated and should do well with the surgery.
 
We discussed what my weight loss is expected to be. It was a little disappointing. She said, based on their calculations which include height, age, current weight and ?? I am only expected to lose 60-70% of my excess weight at the one year point. That would put me at 220#. She did say she would like to see me below 200# and it would be hard. She also said I should lose 50% of my excess weight in the first 6 month, and after a year, you really don't lose more weight, it becomes about maintaining the weight you've lost. A bit disappointing. I have unrealistic dreams of being 135#. Lol!
 
So what comes next? Well, because my BMI is over 40 and I have co-morbidities (high bp and sleep apnea), my insurance doesn't require I go on the standard 6 month weight loss program prior to surgery, as soon as I get through all my pre-op appointments, lose my 25# and am medically cleared, I can proceed to surgery!!
 
They gave me a very informative notebook I need to take to all my appointments:
Labs
Treadmill Stress Test
Venous Duplex Test (looks at legs for clots)
Mammogram
Upper Endoscopy
Psychological Evaluation
Nutritional Consultation (my ins. doesn't cover seeing the Dietitian beyond this appointment because I am not diabetic)
Evaluation/Clearance from my PCP

The Upper Endoscopy will be interesting. I have gerd and if there are any changed to the tissue of my esophagus or if I have a hiatal hernia, they wont do the sleeve. Due to physical issues, I use a LOT of nSAIDs, which with the RnY, you can NEVER take again. So it's imperative I get cleared for the sleeve. All I can do is take a deep breath and keep moving forward.
 
THE END.

I’ve had weight issues my entire life. I’ve dieted and exercised successful... for short periods of time, before the cycle began again, bringing with it depression and self loathing. There are so many reasons I overeat. It’s a distraction, tasty, comfort, protection… and it’s killing me. This is the second time I’ve considered wls. The possibility of death scared me away. This time around, I realize that If I don’t lose weight, I’m going to die anyway, and it will be slow and painful, not to mention, the life I’m living now... it’s not living.
 
I went to a wls orientation a few weeks ago, and this coming week I have my first appointment with a surgeon. From there, I'm not exactly sure where this is going to go. I know there are evaluations, approvals, insurance approvals, procedures that I have to get through before I can have surgery. Right now, I'm just trying to learn as much as I can so that I can make an informed decision for myself and if I do go forward with surgery, I wont be so horribly surprised by what happens after.

T minus 2 days....
 
Wow, am I dragging ass right now & it's only 7:15pm. I've had nothing but liquids today: Crystal Lite Strawberry / Lemonade drink, SF jello, SF popsicles, and chicken broth. Mind over matter. Mind over matter. Mind over ... you get the idea...
 
So, tomorrow I have my pre-op & physical appointments. I'm guessing they'll take my weight, blood pressure, maybe EKG & blood work?, And, of course, I'll find out how much this is really going to cost me. The lap band should be covered, but I think only at 50%, whereas the revision will hardly be covered. I'm looking at something like $12 - $15K out of pocket. At this point, I don't even care. I know I'll be paying it off for years & years, but its ok.
 
Looking forward to a permanent healthy lifestyle.

So recently on a different blog that I run (which can be found here, but warning: it is slightly not safe for work and also not WLS-specific) I was asked this question by one of my followers:
 

" Hey sorry I disappeared! I ended up passing out last night and was busy today. (re: lap band). It's something I've been thinking about getting one myself. Are you happy you had it done? Has it made a big difference in your life? Were you scared of getting it? Lol sorry I'm bombarding you with questions."  
I thought that my answer might be beneficial for this blog, as well, so here was my response!
 
 

For those of you just joining us, this ask is about the Lap Band procedure that I had in June. All opinions and information expressed here is my own personal experience, and anyone that has experienced differently (or similarly!) I’d love to hear from you
1) Am I happy that I had it done?
Absolutely.
2) Has it made a big difference in my life?
I cannot tell you how much this has improved my self-worth and my self-esteem, and how my overall sense of self has skyrocketed. I’ve started wearing dresses again and showing off my legs (which is the area where most of my insecurities are focused - I hate my thighs more than any other part of my body). This has impacted my life so positively that I can’t even begin to tell you.
3) Was I scared of getting it?
Honestly- not so much. I’ve never been afraid of medical procedures, though. More than anything, I was excited about how I knew my life would improve once I’d had the procedure, and how much happier I would be with myself once I’d seen steady progress.  

I have spoken to several people since who have expressed interest in getting it, and to be honest, while I would love to immediately answer ‘YES DO IT’ to everyone, there are a lot of things to keep in mind:  
 

It’s incredibly expensive. The surgery was $16,000 (this included pre- and post-operative care and post-operative check-ups and band fills). However, you may be eligible to have it covered (at least partially) by insurance. My insurance, however, did not cover it for a variety of reasons. Firstly (and most importantly), my insurance specifically excluded bariatric procedures of any kind. Second, I did not have any co-morbidities. I was ‘morbidly obese,’ but my health showed otherwise. I don’t have high blood pressure, no cholesterol issues, no heart problems, etc.. Medically, aside from being overweight, there was nothing wrong with me.  
 

Once the band is fully inflated to your comfort point, you can only eat about 4 ounces at a time . This can be incredibly awkward at dinner parties, or going out to eat with clients, or with friends who don’t know what you've done (I didn’t want to tell EVERYONE that I know). It severely limits your food intake, as well as the types of foods that you can eat, and this is not something that’s easy to handle. I had resigned myself to that fact a long time before I actually had the surgery, and I have been pretty accepting of this fact, and sometimes I’ll be pretty upset that I can’t eat certain things, but I keep reminding myself that it’s worth it, and that eases the longing (a tiny bit). Certain foods that you love now will make you sick once you have a lap band . I can’t eat bread, I can’t eat anything too heavy or that has a breadlike consistency (cakes, pancakes, etc). I can’t eat pork now. I can’t reheat meats (they become too dry and get stuck).  
 

There is a device inside your body . When I lay a certain way, it pulls on my stomach and my muscles and it hurts. When I stretch my body a certain way, I can feel it. When I lay on my back, I can feel the port and when something pushes on your stomach, it hurts. You will always feel it there. It becomes a permanent part of you — they don’t remove it unless you have a second surgery. This isn’t a decision to take lightly— I got the lap band because I know myself, and I know that I cannot regulate myself when it comes to eating, and I needed that constant medical intervention.  

You will have scars . This isn’t an issue for me, but some people are more sensitive about scars on their body. Personally, because of my body type and the way that I carried my weight (mostly in my butt and thighs) I was eligible for a ‘Spider’ type of procedure, where they make only 2 incisions (One inside your bellybutton and a tiny one under the breast to inflate the stomach cavity). The incision inside my bellybutton is pretty obvious, but the tiny one is pretty much gone (I’m happy to show you a picture of what my bellybutton looks like now, but keep in mind that I just scar very badly. Like— I just do not heal well, so my results are atypical). If the spider procedure is not an option, then the laproscopic procedure will leave (I believe) between 4 and 7 incisions over your stomach (please do not quote me on this— I do not know the specifics and from what I could find online, it looks like there are anywhere between 4 and 7 incisions made). If your stomach shows, people will ask you about the scars because people are shits.  

You need to commit to exercise. This is something that I put off as long as possible (mostly because my weight made it so that when I exercised I felt like absolute **** and my joints hurt and it was just an all around bad decision to try and exercise when I was heavier. But as soon as I started exercising… the weight just started falling off. Seriously— I went from losing an average of 7 lbs every 4-6 weeks to losing 15 lbs in 6 weeks. It was a great feeling, and the fact that I could exercise and NOT feel awful about myself afterward was pretty fantastic. You may be able to get by without exercising for a while, but you will plateau and the only way to get past it is to exercise!  

It will be the most difficult decision, but can be absolutely the best decision of your life. As I mentioned earlier, I can’t even tell you how much it has meant to me to feel like I have my life back and to have confidence again. I’ve lost 2 pants sizes and 3 dress sizes, and I get excited now to exercise and to go out and dress up. It really just puts a whole new spin on life. For me— I’ve always been heavy, so other people may have different experiences, and for others it might be that they’re getting back to how they once were. Either way- I’m the healthiest I have been in years, and I’m smaller than I have been in years, and I have more energy than I have in years.  

If you have any other questions, please PLEASE feel free to shoot me a message ! I’m pretty much an open book when it comes to this kind of stuff. I would love to be able to help other people who are going through what I used to go through.