want2bmeagain

I re read your post, and agree with the tons of posts on topics like RR. But, then I saw that you are all for support. If I didn't get that when I posted back, I apologize. I think I had to post my thoughts anyway for feedback from everyone!

Hey Purplelady One of my motivations for starting this was for more information. I feel that the more we know about, and understand our bands, the better we can utilize our tool! I learn much more from others' experiences than form books or a web search for information. With that, we also have to remember that personal and learned information also comes with stories, and with stories comes relationships. I too, don't want this to turn into just social sharing with a spattering of information ! We have to support eachother with our banding, but if one of us had a fight with our spouse, that caused binge eating, and we want support or to share how we handled it...it is still band information in a round about way. I want and need your support, and I hope you want and need mine. We need to stay focused on why we are here. I hope this made sense to you, and I hope my thoughts don't drive you away.... whatcha think?

Thanks, Rosey I sure feel better about myself....I am not sure about beautiful, but I will put the compliment in my self esteem pocket, to get me through the tough days! I have never before put these pics side by side, and haven't noticed the weight change till now....wow, I have eyes...the fat pads must be shrinking!!!

Here are a couple of pics of me pre and post banding....This is the first time I have done before/during (not after!!) pics. I hope my last post wasn't too long, but we all have a lot to share (if we are comfortable) going into this journey. I would love to hear more stories, and see more before/during or after pics on this thread...they are inspiring for me! PS the second pic was at the world series, Rockies, with my kids! It was a blast, just wish they would have won! :think

Hmmmm...my story...how to keep it succinct?? I was born in ...just kidding! When I look back at pictures as a kid, the only time I looked chubby was at about 8, following some family stuff involving my sister. BUT, when I hit high school, I must have had an anorexic way of thinking, because I always knew I was fat. Being fat then was needing to lost 10 or 15 lbs, which I was able to do, but obsessed about my size. I have always been stocky, and not built like the other girls, and it just about ate me alive....this went on for YEARS. I think I now know that the mental torture can be just as damaging, whether we need to lose 100 or 20 lbs. I don't say that lightly, because I was a mess, but not super high up on the BMI scale...I get in my 20's and become pregnant, and get the largest I had ever been...all over. No cute bb ball tummy for me...I was pregnant EVERYWHERE. I dieted with WW, lost it, then had another baby a few years later. I never got all the weight off before that....So, I hit about 30, go through a NASTY divorce, deal with a little boy who has bipolar disorder...finish the divorce, finally stabilize my son, then I crash...bad. We think fibromyalgia was triggered. For the last 10 years, my weight has gone up, and up and up until I hit about 85 lbs overweight, and such a slow metabolism that it took an act of god and congress for me to lose even a pound. In '03, I joined WW online, lost a lot, but the day I got sick of counting points, it all came back, plus another 20 lbs. During all this , for various reasons, I would come across pictures of me as a young woman, and become even more depressed, hopeless, and overwhelmed. It got to the point where all my efforts were fruitless, because the scale never moved. I knew I would never have, nor was a canditate for bypass, and every January for the last several years, I was going to begin and conquer the weight. Didn't happen, couldn't happen. I only felt comfortable being around people "bigger" than me...I would run into someone I hadn't seen in years, and just KNOW they were wondering what in the hell happened to me...I got puffier and fluffier. Little by little,this all chipped away at what body image I had...a horrific place to be. Fast forward to August '07. I saw Big Medicine with a show that had a band. I ran to the computer, researched, and was STOKED. Within 10 days, my surgery was scheduled....HUGE financial sacrifice, but I was already sacrificing myself to high blood pressure, high cholesterol, mental issues, and self loathing....$10k was a small price to pay for health and sanity. The first 20 lbs fell off..and each time I got on the scale, the needle had moved..I was finally happy and motivated, plus getting healthier, and wearing clothes I hadn't in years. I am sure you all have felt that, so I won't even elaborate! Now, comes the real work, the exercise, the calorie watching...but, for the first time, I actually want to move around and burn some calories...and I now KNOW I finally have the tool!!!!! Since I am a lower BMI bandster, I am sure that many BMI bandsters can't understand my whining. It's like when my mom is upset about the 10 lbs she has to lose...good grief. But, once we hit obese, I don't think it is the pounds that eat us alive, but the struggle with (whether this is truth, it is how we perceive it)...lack of discipline, why are we such idiots that we can't just do this "ourselves", knowing exercise would help, but truly knowing it won't chip much off, knowing we would look and feel better if we could just get it together, feeling worthless because we can't keep the weight off...why can't we??? The list goes on, but it is torture, nonetheless. For the first time in years, I have hope, but also the evidence that I will get there...this time, and for good.

Rosey ~ my port area was more sore than any of the other incisions...and good grief...hard...mine feels like a hard boiled egg 2 months out! I will see Dr. K on Friday, and ask him if it's "normal". I thought for sure it was the port itself, mingled with scar tissue, but when he did my first fill, the needle site was about an inch below my egg. Stupid me, though, I forgot to ask him that time, I think I was too fascinated with the fill process and too busy trying to figure out what in the world I was supposed to be feeling with each drink of water! Your pain could be "normal", but maybe getting a hold of the office would be a good idea~ just to make sure. Also, I have talked to a few people who had hernia operations from different docs, and they all said it was hard as a rock for quite a while. Hopefully this one will break down someday. I am not vain about my stomach...hell, I would rather be thin than worry about lumps and scars, so I am not worried about that part (some people on the scar stages thread are hesitant about even getting banded because of the scars...huh?????) ~ but, I will ask him to make sure all is well. Purplelady ~ Welcome! Tell us more about your band journey and where are you from! MAL ~ hey girl!!! I was going to PM you to say hello cuz we haven't had any recent laphumor to share lately! How are you??? Great pic at RR !!! Take care everyone! I think I will post my "story" next. If I add it here, I could have tomatoes thrown at me for being so lengthy!! :bounce:

If you're not comfortable at your hospital, I probably wouldn't do it. It will be important for you to feel comfortable about it. Are you self pay? Gosh, I wish I were in Denver and could help you. I think you for sure need someone to take you to the hotel from the hospital. Hey...! I may have an idea. The day I was there, the solo guy was going to take a taxi to the hotel. We made sure he got there ok (drove him), and then didn't see him after that. Anyway...........I wonder if Marilyn would contact whoever else is having surgery that day and see if the patient's spouse (or whoever they bring) would check on you. My s.o. would have been glad to check on that gentleman if he had wanted it. That way, there would be someone at the hotel who could be there if you needed it...and many people are willing to help out. I don't know where the Radisson is in relation to the surgery center. But, the hotel right there is REALLY nice. I would imagine that's where the other patients that day will stay, but really have no idea. Let me know what you think of that idea...could work, never know!

oh my gosh...poor little thing! She will seem like such a big girl when the baby arrives, but they are still so little, and sometimes change is hard! Can you take the side rail off of the crib (on some you can, so it's like a toddler bed) and have her sleep there for a while? Then it would be her crib, but transition to a big girl's bed. If it is too high up if she falls, maybe you could put her new mattress on the floor next to it. If she rolls onto it, then she is doing a double transition! Just a thought...she sounds like a sweetie!

Gosh, Nic ~ I hope this fun happens to everyone! Some day you will walk into a shock collar happening and can share directly in the fun! Call me on my cell even on Thur afternoon, and we can figure out when to get together before I leave Denver on Fri. Mare, I will miss you at RR...I hope that sometime the meeting falls when I need to be in CO Springs so that I can just hop up there. Otherwise, when I know I am in town, I will post and maybe we can do another meeting! I am going to be there Thursday night, but have so much going on that I didn't want to post about it, cuz it would be really stupid if I was the only one that couldn't make it!! It is amazing that the 4 of you lost 161 lbs total! way cool....The biggest problem getting there is that it is over a 5 hour drive..but I know at some point, it will work for me to hop in there. Purplelady..have you had your surgery...ok, it probably shows on the regular posts, and I can't see it from this window..I will check. How have you been doing? how are you feeling? wrkl8 ~ we are still waiting to hear about the Protein bar..the suspense is difficult!! I get so hungry, then eat, and it aint fun like it used to be! After my food is iced cold, I usually give up! I have enough restriction to be REALLY careful how big my bites are, but hope I can handle more to cut back how often I get hungry. It takes a fraction of what I used to eat to fill me up now, but I am puzzled that some folks eat half a cup and are done...does that mean I overeat??? Dunno...will talk to Dr. K about it, but would love to hear what others think or how much you all eat. Munchkin ~ Having someone with you will be REALLY important. I wished I lived in the area and could keep an eye on you. I will say that Dr. K is not happy with someone being there alone. It can be too dangerous. I don't even think he has ever had a complication, but if for some reason you have an emergency and are at the hotel alone, that would be awful. Plus, you need someone to get you back to the hotel after surgery. On the day of my surgery, there were 4 of us. One of the guys traveled alone but had given the doc the impression he had someone there to help him. When Dr.K figured out what was going on, he was not a happy camper....and it was for the guy's safety. Keep your surgery date, and maybe all of us on here will have ideas for you. Please keep us updated on what is happening. Where are you traveling from?

The picture of you 4 is awesome! Mare...you look like you have lost weight since I met you at RR! Way to go! Lap~ awesome pictures!! I think it's great you did sightseeing while you were here. So...what's the deal with the fill Fluid you had? Quite a stunning story. What did Dr. K say about the color? What does he think happened? Is there any chance the junk in there ruined anything? Did you notice a big difference with your new fill? I am sure the Fill Center cost as much as flying here ~ I am so curious to what he thought what caused the mayhem. Do let us know. Also, weren't you sick for a while but it didn't have to do with the band? Are you better? VAbandster ~ there is a thread on the boards about pouch stretching. I was panicked myself. I read where people eat 1/2 cup at a sitting..are they kidding??? I eat a salad plate of food at dinner, and it takes me about an hour, but I am not over full at all. So I have wondered if everything is working right for myself. I will ask Dr. K about the pouch stretching stuff, but on the thread, they were saying if there has been stretching it will go down with eating less. I guess constant over eating could stretch the pouch while hurting the band, but occasional seems to be ok. Hey, do any of you have a lump at the port incision site?? Mine is like a lengthwise cut hard boiled egg. You can't see it when you are looking, but can feel it right under my skin!

oops Rosey... I meant "the swelling is going down around the band"

Hi everyone! Shelbi~ (is your name Shelbi?!!) You will ALL love this So, last night I am meeting with a client in her house. We get inside and I keep hearing this beeping...she's ignoring it, and something keeps beeping. Finally, it was driving me crazy, because I was trying to not look all over, and I was pretty sure I wasn't hearing things! So, I asked her if she needed to check her voicemails or a text or something. She said..nah, we're fine, it's just my dog's shock collar, only it beeps instead of shocks him. I almost choked on my own spit, but trying to be professional, just kind of nodded my head. She took it off of him and kind of dropped on the table so it would stop beeping. #1 I was internally freaking out because I had decided the band was a flipping shock collar and the timing couldn't have been better! #2 I had never even heard the dog bark. I got to thinking that if my shock collar beeped EVERY time I thought of eating, or daydreamed about french bread and butter that people would be looking all over for the backing up delivery truck! Could you imagine a BEEPING lapband!! OMG #3 I sweartogod that for a nanosecond (I am not kidding here!), just like in the movies when someone is doing something, and the other person literally sees something else....that I pictured a lapband, port and all, on her table!!!!! I was DYING inside Taynuh LOVED the description of the origin of your nickname. I was cracking myself up, saying it outloud at my computer, in my version of a southern drawl!!! I didn't do too bad! Any news on when your baby boy will arrive?? NICNAK Hello! How have you been feeling? When are you going in for your first fill? I didnt have enough fun last time, so I am going back for more on Friday! Rosey Totally agree with Tina on the band...at that stage of the game, I wondered if I even had a band in there! After pre and post op, I felt like a pig cuz I could eat anything...! Don't let it alarm you, the swelling is going on around the band, and there isn't enough of a squeeze at this point for much restriction. I just tried to stay away from the junk, eat when I was hungry, and watch my portions, but not obsess about them. you WILL see a HUGE difference after your fill. I blew off the teeny bites, not drinking with meals, and chewing down to applesauce because I didn't need to...well....it was harder work to change after my fill...Each time I didn't do it right, my band let out a flippin jolt like a dog's shock collar! So, you might want to be more intelligent than I was, and practice the small bites now! I am envious that you are close enough to go to the support group! Do report back and tell us what it was like. Tina...have you ever been to one? the next book I write on here, I will try and tell ya about me! hugs to all!

Hi Girls~ I haven't really posted on here since Kat introduced me...I do read (lurk!)when I have a chance, but damn,ladies, it would take me hours to completely catch up!!! Great bunch, here! I am actually prompted tonight to write to : TRACY I was reading with interest what you are experiencing with your dss...My thoughts went where Terri's went also. My 16 yr. old son also has bipolar disorder. He was treated, after many docs, at the age of 8. His was early onset, fierce and young. What caught my attention is how smart you describe your dss, in addition to the TROUBLE! I would also agree with getting a Psychiatrist on board. It is not easy, teens are often non complient, docs are sometimes arrogent and misguided, etc. BUT, you could start reading about "mood disorders", and hey, for grins and giggles, read about adolescents and bipolar. The best book, that covers kids in general, is The Bipolar Child by Dimitri and Janice Papalos...superb. At least if you started to sort out the puzzle, you can be an incredible advocate for him. My son is brilliant (right now at a speech competition out of town), honor roll, all that stuff. Because he is so smart,he can have verbal responses that leave me speechless...we have our "disagreements", but are close, and he is incredible. Wow, I could go on forever, our journey has been intense and thorough. If ya ever want to chat, PM me. I will say, that I have one disagreement with Terri (am I allowed to disagree being an honorary Violet??). I have never heard of, or researched, that someone with bipolar disorder should ever consider or be told they can some day go off of meds....the death rate is HIGHER (suicide) than if our kids had leukemia. Meds may be tweaked, or a female who is pregnant may temporarily go off of meds with doc supervision.... Danielle Steele (the prolific novelist) wrote a book called "His Bright Light". I won't say much about it...but a great reality check. My son knows that his meds are for LIFE...and that if he had diabetes, it would be the same story...I can only hope and pray that as an adult, he will continually respect his the bipolar giant...one that gives him his brilliance, but also lurks to share its madness. I applaud Terri for bringing up the potential psychiatric aspect . Could not be the issue, but if so, you don't want to miss it..it's too costly! So, there were other congrats, hellos, etc I was going to say...but bipolar is such a part of our story, my sharing heart took over!

What size is the Acti Trainer? Can anyone take a picture of one next to you and post it? I was looking into the Body Bugg, then read about this and like the heart monitor and sleep features...so I am soooo confused! i can buy a Body Bugg from someone, brand new for $200. But, really, is the Acti Trainer better? Aaaaakkkk! Help me!!!

Hi Stephanie! Hey girls, I was wondering if the actitrainer is comfortable to wear? I read about it and I like the heart moniter thing feature. I looks so boxy compared to the Body Bugg,..so, just wondering if you like the comfort level thanks!

Hello love reading this thread and seeing how much the Body Bugg has done for everyone...even if there are some days you don't like its honesty:D !! I thought I had read somewhere on here, but don't have time to reread every post, that after the first of the year, they are coming out with a new design... is this true?? I may be able to buy a used one now, and wonder if I should wait please let me know what you all think! thanks so much!

Good to see a Colorado group! I am on the western slope like steph is. STEPH ~ I was going to PM you, but you don't have it set up...can you pm me...i think it would be fun to see if we are near eachother!

I was banded 8 days before Shelbicallie by Dr. K in Denver. I also have all the positives to say about him that she does! I was in the process of going ahead with Mexico, then decided to go with Dr. K. An important thing that changed my mind is the price of fills if I could find a doc near me to do them. I have read anywhere from $200-$500+ from an aftercare doc. For the first 3 months, Dr. Kirshenbaum does not charge, then after that, he charges $15 per fill. Many of his patients fly back to him if they live near a large airport and can get a reasonably priced ticket. Sometimes just the ticket can be less than the fills! I am a 6 hour drive away, so it actually takes me longer to get there and back than most who fly in. I, too, worry about an emergency. But, it looks like most common, have to get taken care of now, emergencies involve getting an unfill. I did talk to a local surgeon here and asked him if I were in enough of an emergency and couldn't get to Denver for an unfill, would he help me. He's a great guy, and said "Sure! and if I have trouble, we'll call Denver!". I don't know if you could talk to a local surgeon that would help...if not, I have read over and over that any nurse who does chemo should be able to access our ports. Of course port flipping, slippage, erosion, etc would just about always be handled by a persons surgoeon who did the banding...And if we were in a dire emergency because of those, we'd have to figure out how to get to our surgeon anyway...does that make sense? I once posted asking opinions if I HAD to get to the local ER because I was blocked or whatever, what would insurance do (since it wouldn't cover the band)??? Someone responded that he believed insurance would cover a true emergency because of the liability. But, something like slippage, they wouldn't. Makes sense to me. Everyone's policy is different, but if I were in a TRUE emergency and ins. didn't cover, there is a huge open door with appeals. So much of this is a leap of faith. There are a lot of long term unknowns since this is a relatively new procedure. I hope nothing horid ever happens with my band, but feel great with the leap of faith I took and have never looked back! You will LOVE Dr. K oh, he has also been GREAT financially in handling any problems with people. He is a fair, honest, skilled surgeon!

Hi Everyone...hope all is well your way. My life has been one moment of chaos after another. Cars breaking down, washer dying, mom in hospital than emergicare, parnter to hospital, several trips out of town, Rockies at World Series (the chaos was the marathon drive there and home!)...just nuts. Tonight is Halloween. I DO NOT feel like listening to the dogs bark all night long, sitting down, getting up, giving kids stuff to help their parents payments to the dentist...man, am I a tired old sack, or what?? So, two options...go out to eat and turn all the lights out, or turn off the lights and hide?? OR, get one bag of candy, and a posterboard note on the door when it all runs out? Hmmmm, can't decide. I enjoy watching all of you get so excited about Halloween! My young adult kids' birthdays are two days apart, and fall a couple days before halloween.....going through birthdays and parties, THEN Halloween right around the corner burnt me out...gawd, I sound like such a scrooge!!! sorry BUT, KEEP THE PICTURES COMING! I LOVE LOOKING AT THEM! Woof you are funny with the Smeegle/Garlum and food!!! I laughed so hard...I will pretend I know who that is (I don't!) ~ but I got it with the angel/devil smiley! MARCY OMG with the pill...makes me hurt even imagining it!!! If something I have gets stuck, it seems like it's right away...how come this took a while? How long did it take? Sounds soooo owey! Shelbi ~ YAYYYYYY on the no PBing!! IT AIN"T FUN ~ It is my sweet little shock coller, that I hate, no, I am thankful for, I hate, no I am thankful for!!!! I am finding I am having less disorienting problems if I actually chew down to applesauce consistency! Lap~ I am so bummed I can't get to Denver and meet you ...waaaa! Take them pictures! Mal ~ the costume cracks me up!!! when I was a kid (now no one here will believe this, one of my mortifying childhood secrets) I was a member of "bluebirds"...I got kicked out for talking too much and being interested in everything (sad, huh?).... Hey, did you make a "lapband" service patch?? Okey dokey girls....I came up with another thing for the banding experience...I had quite the epiphany! When I eat, I find myself "hamster packing"....I will accidently take a normal sized bite, then instead of being yukky and spitting it out, I will chew all my food and pack it in my cheek, then swallow a bit at a time!! That's my hamster packing! If I am the only one that has ever done this, I will feel like a pig!! My weight loss has been slow now. Not eating tons, but irratically, and throwing in beer here and there. I actually love the taste of a microbrew, and wouldn't ya know it, I have NO problem with anything carbonated....and I haven't been willing to enlist the duck tape yet! I think we would consider beer "empty calories"...hey, I just this minute had a thought..!!!!! I need to try unflavored protein powder in my beer and call it a meal!!!!:clap2: Woof.....what is happening with your job situation? What do you like to do? what are you interested in? I still feel your pain when I picture if it would have been me working with the potty mouthed young folks...not sure if I would have told them to "shut the he** up, or come up with some outlanish story to outdo their stories and shock them into silence!! ha, ha sick kids..... miss you all (and haven't even met most of you!) Have a great Halloween! Kelly

I had my first fill a couple of weeks ago and had liquids for a couple of days. Since then, any liquid goes down fine, Soups and the well cooked ingredients work, as does fish and refried Beans. I have had a couple of pb's, and many, many times of food getting stuck (ESPECIALLY meat)~ my eyes want to cross, my mouth waters, and it hurts until the culprit goes down. I notice that the worst stuck episodes are, of course, when I don't chew enough or my bites arent small enough...I am retraining, it is just taking time to smack myself enough to remember. Then, there are times I chew good (at least I think I am), and still feel "stuck". So, my question is...what does a proper fill feel like to you? I am learning to eat "right", but my big concern is that I don't want my "stuck" episodes to hurt the band.... Am I the only one on the learning curve with small bites? If you forget, does your food usually get stuck? Am I overfilled, or just stupid when I forget the bite guidelines? Please respond...I need help from other bandsters!

NICNAKNUT.... I was going to PM you, but there was no contact info....can you PM me your email...got your message and will catch up soon! But, send your email for me...thanks! How have you been feeling?? HUGS! Kelly

I really like Jarrow protein powders...no artificial sweetners. I buy it at Buy Discount Vitamins, Supplements, Low Carb and More at www.Vitacost.com about half the price of the health food stores! It isn't as strong/sweet tasting as others , but delicious and even has a yummy smell...check out the web page. Also, Nature's plus liquid vitamins/minerals, and chewable calcium hearts are great!

Shelbi ~ the book idea has crossed my mind....definitely has! HANG IN THERE till your first fill! I didn't lose during that beastly time before the fill....I seemed to eat a lot for a bandster, but must not have been as much as pre band days, because I didn't gain...hang in there and try not to lose it on chips, candy and stuff like that! And...don't be hard on yourself, just be wise! You'll get there soon, and maybe even PB for the first time like I did :clap2: (you haven't yet, have you?)

I agree with Shelbi ~ Dr. Kirshenbaum is wonderful! Surgery went well, first fill went well...the man is compassionate and brilliant. I would choose him all over again! The day of my surgery, there were 4 of us getting banded the same day...from Calif, NY, Colorado, and KY ! Way cool!

Thank God for humor, huh?! Someone needs to tell me the page that Mal described her PB on. I was laughing just imagining it! I swear, the band is like a flippin shock collar that dogs wear so they don't bark, only we can't eat like we used to (or want to, on some occasions! )That experience had to be one of the most unreal things I have experienced yet..but, trying to describe it to someone without a band...well, they just don't get it. And, restaurants??? I swear (ok, I DO NOT know how to throw up quietly...obviously, I have never been bulemic)...if I did that in a restaurant, someone WOULD dial 911, and my embarrassment would be hard to recover from! Tina~ congrats on the new addition! You may have mentioned before I joined the boards...are you single and adopting? If so, I think it's awesome, if not...it's still awesome! Tied~ we missed you too! I think 3 weeks off work would be more than enough...I felt like caca for a week, then all of a sudden felt better. I would even think 2 weeks would be good. For me, it was such a jolt to be losing weight, that I think my excitement even made me feel better physically Nic~ How are you feeling?? How is the eating/drinking going? Woof~ The job you had sounds disgusting....I cannot even believe what young adults talk about so easily...well, it's a double edged sword really. the generation is wonderfully accepting of many things, but they don't realize with freedom (to talk about anything) also comes responsibility. I am pretty easy going, honest, and open...and I couldn't listen to that crap all day. What is supposed to work out for you, most definately will..! Oh, and congrats on the bra! woo-hoo! Marcy~ ugh...halloween...I was just toying around with the idea of getting a costume (I really said this to my better half) so I could go trick or treating and get chocolate! I think it would go down pretty easily being banded! Give yourself a treat, allow it, so you don't go crazy and eat the whole bag. I don't think some of it will get you too bad...will it, girls? Bookholder ~ I have used the meat tenderizer twice before, but this time, this fluffy lady just had to pile the chicken and Pasta high on my fork without even thinking...and it was too late! I think it's good to have on hand Shelbie and Gurly...how are you two feeling? Doing well? We are pretty close bandsisters...what, a week apart?? Hope all is well...If I forgot to mention you..don't take it personal...I can have the mush brain but care about every one of you!