SomethingWitty372

I've been telling friends and family for years 'Oh, well when I'm at the point where I can't do the things I want to do because of my weight, I'll change' and 'I could lose some weight on my own, but I'm not unhappy, so why bother?'. Its been no secret how overweight I am, I joke about it all the time. Back in college when I began gaining weight, it caused me a lot of anxiety and heart ache, as I had always been a serious athlete with a lean, muscular body. However, I eventually came to terms with the fact that I would be fat like my mother and most of my aunts. I accepted it and kept going. However, I'm now at the point where, SURPRISE!, I can't do things I want to do because of my weight. I can't ride roller coasters with my husband, let alone walk around an amusement park all day without getting completely out of breath and cranky. I can't ride a plane without some level of anxiety regarding whether I'll be 'that fat chick' that makes my row mates uncomfortable, or that I'll have to get a seatbelt extender. I pretty much can't do anything, shopping, going to concerts, the beach, sporting events, you name it, without having some very real fear that my size will impede me. There have been situations in the past few months that made me think, 'Alright, I'm done. I'm all set with this, I need a redo.' The first one was going to a beautiful old theater in CT with my husband to see our favorite comedian, Louis CK. I was very uncomfortable the whole time in a tiny old flip down theater seat that felt like it might snap under my girth at any moment, and thinking the entire time how grateful I was that I just HAPPENED to get an end seat. Had I been in a middle of the row seat, I would have made others uncomfortable as well. The second situation was this past august when my husband and I went to Ocean City MD, the same beach I've gone to every summer since I was a baby. On the boardwalk there is an old haunted house ride that has been there FOREVER that I ride almost every time I go there. This year, we nearly broke the ride and one of the attendants had to walk behind us the whole ride and push us up the inclines because we were too heavy to make it otherwise. YIKES! Despite the situation I'm in, and the seemingly depressing nature of my above accounts, I'm an incredibly happy person. I have a very fun, very carefree life aside from my weight problem. But, I know that if I don't change things for good now, the quality of my life will decline and I will continue to face obstacles and situations where I am held back by my size. I told my husband the other night, I look at surgery as a chance to get back to ground zero, back where I belong so I can have a second chance. I was thin and healthy for 19 years of my life, I've been obese for the past 8. I'm ready for my do-over. I'll do it right this time