roundisashape

Thanks, all! I know I'm going to have to make this trip at least monthly going forward. This morning I thought about everything I did yesterday, and mentally compared it to how I think the same trip might go this time next year. I should probably put the outfit back on and grab a picture, then maybe journal the whole day while it's still fresh so I can compare next November!

Today was rough. I had to travel to DC for work - three *full* trains each way, crammed in like cattle (on two of them, standing room only and the escalators were broken almost everywhere). My boss is a runner so i spent most of the day trailing a few yards behind like some yappy little dog. Plus, since I don't normally have to dress up, I had to buy something appropriate. It's my own hangup, I know, but I always swore I wouldn't ever cross the line and buy elastic waist pants. Last night, I had to cave and buy elastic waist pants because nothing else fit right. I doctored up the outfit and felt about as cute as a 300 pound 5'3" 35 year old can feel, but it still hurt to buy those stupid pants. Anyway, today just really reinforced for me why I want to do this! 2 more visits and they can submit to insurance.

Oh, cool! Thanks for the heads up!

Lovely! You've both done so well, it's very inspiring!

I have a pretty good awareness of who will be supportive, who won't, etc. Right now, 6 people know: my sister and one of my nieces (both have thought about surgery but are nervous about it), my boss (I've had to take time off), and my three best friends (one had bypass surgery 10 years ago and is thinking about a revision and the other two are supportive either way). I'll probably let the rest of my office mates know after my insurance approval comes back and I get a date, because it'll be a sure thing then. I don't anticipate any judgment or issues, but I don't want them all to know I'm planning this and have it fall through for any reason. We're a small enough office that there's no point in trying to hide anything! As for the rest of my family? It was a hard lesson to learn, but I've finally figured out that I'm going to be judged and found lacking no matter what I do (in every area of my life, not just weight). I don't care if they know about it, but it would be my preference to fill them in after the deed is done just so I don't have to listen to any crap.

Good luck! I hope everything goes smoothly!

1. To get off BP meds 2. To be able to GO and DO without worrying about how my size will impact my experience (will I fit in the chair, are there hills, am I over the weight limit, etc) 3. To find the confidence to meet someone and start a family 4. To be cute in clothes 5. So my feet and legs won't hurt anymore

True - but still frustrating!

You could also check out some tapas restaurants in your area - I don't know of any chains, but at least where I live those types of "small plate" restaurants are popping up all over. Some of them are insufferably trendy, others are a lot more comfortable

If you can't find it there, you could probably order both on Amazon and it would be waiting for you when you get home

Kyrie, I'm sorry you're having such a rough time! I haven't been where you are and can't really say anything useful, but maybe distraction would be helpful? Imagine your life a year from now, after your sleeve is done and you've been successful - what might a really great day be like?

Yes, I learned the hard way to prepare my nectar drinks while I'm still in my jammies. Some of those stains don't come out, lol

I tried the nectar apple ecstasy tonight too - could not spit it out fast enough! Weird, though, it's another one that I could tolerate just fine eating the powder like a pixie stick. Thanks for the CarbQuick info and tip about hot Water, Cowgirl! I might try some of the CarbQuick now.

Yum!

I see you, but had to remove the other search parameters first

Thanks! I'd never heard of it, but it sounds like a pretty good rule to keep in mind

I'm not familiar with the 5-10-15 rule - what is that? Sounds interesting! As far as trying things in advance, I've been taking in everything I've read here and expect my post op tastes to change - except for more samples I've been stockpiling for after surgery, I'm only buying in quantity what I think I can finish pre-op. This whole process is so regimented it seems like the one thing I have control over! I haven't been put on an official diet yet, but at my first consultation the surgeon's assistant poked at my stomach and said, "Your liver shouldn't be all the way down here". It doesn't seem like a week or two of eating differently before surgery is enough to fix that, so I've been trying to incorporate new habits early on to try to get that under control. So exciting, but so much to think about!

Neutrogena anti-wrinkle, anti-acne cream isn't bad. I have nutty combination skin - dry patches and oil slicks - and it does a pretty good job keeping me "neutral".

Wow! Great job! You do NOT look 205 lbs

Oh! Also, tried Nectar Cappuccino over the weekend. No caffeine, which is probably a good thing, and I wanted to lick the cup. Very good, and a lot lower in calories than Chike. Didn't appear to be good for a meal replacement, but I haven't quite figured out what to use and when to use it yet. Can't set up my 1:1 nutritionist meeting until the end of the month.

Loveelaura, thanks for the additions! I've gotta try some of those Torani syrups. I wish they came in sample sizes too, I've only seen them at WalMart around here and they're kind of expensive. Blueeyed, great reminder! I remember hearing other people say that too, so I've been ordering two sets of samples whenever I can so I've got some trial packs available for after surgery. Hopefully they'll still be good this spring . Scorpion, I'll be thinking about you! Good luck with your pre-op diet. I'm so glad I'm not at that point yet, it sounds scarier than the actual surgery.

Just a couple of other things I wanted to mention, though for the most part it's already been said. As long as you're over 18 and your parents don't have any kind of medical proxy over you, your counselor can't tell them anything. Don't hesitate to be honest, that's why you're going there! As far as telling your doctors the truth, please, please, please do that too. Remember this: they work for you! Every time you see them, they get paid a ridiculous amount of money (whether you're self pay, have insurance or use assistance doesn't matter, they still get paid), and it's in your doctor's best interest to see you succeed. They can also refer you to a nutritionist who can help you figure out what you can eat that meets your nutritional needs and that is still within your culinary skill level. Don't let embarrassment damage your health. Also, I hope you don't take offense, but you might be helped by some assertiveness training too. I took an assertiveness seminar a few years ago and it made a huge difference in the way I carry myself, and how I live my life. You've got to practice it every day, and might need a refresher from time to time if it doesn't come naturally (it doesn't for me, and I could use a "tune up" at the moment myself), but it might help you reach a point where you're willing to step up instead of sublimating your needs to what you think other people want from you. It's also a good way to help you "lose your inhibitions" without alcohol . As long as you're still breathing, there's not much that can't be fixed if you really want to fix it - you can do this!

Congratulations! What a great moment - I'm glad you got to see the picture in that setting. What a lift!

I always liked the old "I am in shape, round is a shape" joke .

It seems like soggy, sugary cereal in milk would slide right through and maybe you wouldn't expect to get full from it? I'm still pre-op and can't legitimately give you any suggestions, but if you posted a normal day's intake there are probably some folks on here who could help you troubleshoot that part. Beyond that, it sounds like you might need to actually sit down and talk to someone. Maybe set some priorities and decide what changes you're willing to make to succeed, and what you're not willing to do - and accept whatever limitations that imposes.