I had some of that ambivalence too, but I got over it quickly. I am ready to stop this yo-yo stuff, and the best way for me is to have the surgery. I have tried to lose weight on my own too many times, and my inability to stick to it over the long term is proof enough that IT'S NOT WORKING. Somebody famous said something like... Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results. My surgery is scheduled for Nov 13th, and I'm EXCITED!