pashmina

A little more than a month ago (I think?) I lamented here that my surgery scars had healed as hypertrophic (i.e. abnormal, ugly, raised, red, itchy). I despaired at my future of hideous scars and more hideous scars after a future planned TT and B-Lift. There is newfound hope! I saw a dermatologist this week; and after telling me they really weren't that bad, she gave me her brand of Level 3 Retinol and said if that didn't take care of it in a few months she would laser them off. Imagine my relief as I walked out of the office (despite shelling out $60 for 1oz). Well...after just two days use, I SWEAR there is already a difference in redness and the hard, raised edges of my scars. Finally, I can be elated about the 40 lbs loss I've hit this week, and a prospect of smooth, light scars. If you're in the NY area- she is AMAZING and the nicest doc I've ever met. Dr. Day on 71st b/w Park and Lex.

Laura- Best of luck with your next fill. I hope it's much easier for you! Just one quick note- IMO you want both the cream and the shot. The cream numbs you up for the outside sticks and the internal keeps you from feeling all your internal organs are being poked at. If you have a lot of anxiety, be sure to ask your PCP for an Rx of Xanax or Valium. Again, best of luck!

I should be happy, ecstatic even. I'm losing weight steadily, have had no complications, and all my incisions have healed without any infection. What's my problem? I found out this week that my slightly raised, slightly reddish scars are considered abnormal- "hypertrophic," which is not as bad as keloid scars, but my dreams of having flat, almost invisible scars a year from now is likely not to be. They can't tell me what it will look like a year from now. I just have to wait, and put the Mederma away because it's not going to have any effect on these things. My doc gave me the name of a plastic surgeon. Someone I won't even consult because I'll have to combine scar revision with any other work I get done after I lose all the weight a year or so from now. It's silly. It's vanity. I'm still 100% glad I got this surgery. But I'm only 29, and though I did not expect to get through this process unscathed I hadn't counted on this... It just makes me sad. Can anyone out there relate? Thanks for letting me vent.

Thanks to all for your helpful, supportive posts. It's definitely brightened my day to see them I'm not alone, and reminded me that what counts is to lose the weight. Though, in truth, I will probably continue to be irritated by the scars until I can come to a more balanced state of body acceptance. TheFox- How much sea salt are you adding to the hot Water before soaking? Laurend- The pics may be a bit fuzzy (difficult to self-pic the belly) but this is my largest scar, the port scar. All of my incisions are hypotrophic, each to a different degree. Hope that's helpful.

Laura- If you got a few laughs out of my misery, I'm ELATED! : ) I wrote my tale of woe hoping that it would at least a few people might be able to relate and smile. I went back for my second fill today and my doc wouldn't do it. I lost too much weight in the ten days in between, so I'll be going back in a few weeks when the restriction has subsided more. It's hard to tell if I'm more disappointed not to get more of a fill or relieved that I didn't have to get stuck with the huge needle. I'm so sorry about your anxiety issues. I truly can relate! I don't presume to know your medical history, but I did take that Xanax today in preparation and it helped a lot with the knots building in my stomach. Again, best of luck, and feel free to message me if you ever want to commiserate!

Laura- I think we are sisters in torturous fills. I was banded three days after you and had a terrible time with my first fill (feel free to read the long diatribe on the next page) last week. Make sure and request lidocaine next time- topical cream AND internal injections for all the sticks. Next time I'm also going to pop a valium or xanax- you can request that from your MD. Some of us are just have harder to get at ports, body type (i.e. more fat in front of the port) and yes, physician experience plays a part too. I hope your next try goes much better!!

WARNING- This is long, and I can be a bit of a baby...ok, I'm a baby. Enjoy. Perhaps there are those out there whose fills go smooth and perfect with just a little stick and you're out the door five minutes later. In fact, I know you evil people (kidding!) are out there because I see your posts all over telling would-be bandsters "nothing to worry", and "quick and painless." You're probably the same wenches (again, kidding!) who were up mall-walking the day after surgery. This is my fair* way of saying in advance that not everyone has trauma from their fills. Such was not to be for my first fill experience. If, before it is shutdown by government mandate, Gitmo is looking for new and unusual torture practices to try out on the politically criminal, they might consult a bariatric center or two. I requested lidocaine, which my very kind, very humble, very amiable surgeon (I LOVE him and his practice, NOT the procedure) happily complied with. A few stingy pokes and I thought the worst was over. Ohhhh silly, naive little girl. "Now," he tells me, "I'm just going to look for it first," and proceeds to ask me to act as if I am doing a very hard crunch and hold it. Am I the only one in the room who finds it a tad ironic that I'm being asked to do something that if I could do it reasonably well I wouldn't have needed the surgery in the first place? Hahaha...I laugh in the face of ubsurd obstacles. I put my hands behind my head like my old personal trainer taught me and proceed to push upward, straining in my out-of-shapedness. Then the poking, jabbing, and otherwise painfully prodding fingers re-ignite every sensitivity in my port site that had slowly dissipated over the course of seven weeks and I feel as if I've got a hammer being swung at internal bruises. OMG it hurts!!! Then I'm huffing, and puffing, and sweat is pouring off my face. He tells me to relax (meanwhile my "happy place" has turned into the portal to hell's fiery pits and I want nothing more than to get off the table) when he walks over to pick up the real needle, the fill needle. And I kid you not, this thing was a good 3 inches long. It has to be, after all, to get through all the fat in front of the port...but my GOD I wish I hadn't seen it. I'm closing my eyes again, looking for happy place #2 (an x-rated area I can't quite share here) and focusing on keeping my half-assed sit up in place, jutting my tummy out as much as I can...POKE, JAB, STICK. I open my eyes and I have a Pulp Fiction moment...you know...where Uma Thurman wakes up from her overdose to see a plunger sticking out of her chest? Yeah, I had that, but in my stomach. Then there's more burning, more poking, and just when I think he's got it, he's telling me to relax and pulling the needle out, waiting to try again. This went on for a good 30 minutes. Huff, puff, sweat, poke...until finally, one INTENSE sting later the needle was in the port and I was getting filled with saline, 2 cc's worth. (THAT'S IT?) I sit here now with a very throbby, very tender port site...filled to 2cc's, thinking about two weeks from now when I get to do it again. Really? Again? Gee! I repeat my manta...this will all be worth it, this will all be worth it, this will all be worth it. The scale (the big ugly metal kind at the MD office that looks as if it was intended for cattle) was down 3 pounds from last week. Maybe I should listen to myself.

Syrenity- I don't know where your cousin lives, but my surgeon's office is on the UES across from the Met museum. He's FANTASTIC. Highly recommended. Best of luck to your cousin and to you! Baricenter at The Laparoscopic Surgical Center of New York

I'm only at the start of my journey too, but I am definitely planning on some reconstructive work, either lift or reduction along with something to get rid of my marsupial pouch skin that I know no amount of crunches will rid. Only 24 lbs down but I'm still a 38 DDD (losing in the tummy first it seems, so I'm working the hourglass thing). When I was my proper weight I was a 34 full C

I'm a lawyer for an international investment firm based in NYC. For the most part, I love what I do and enjoy going to work every day.

Anybody out there tonight? I am feeling a severe need to binge for the first time since I was banded three weeks ago. It has been a bad weekend; relationships with friends/family/my boyfriend all have come crashing down, but I can't return to my usual crutch. I keep repeating the mantra "The band is a tool, not an easy button," but I still keep walking to the fridge and closing it, eyeing the Soup in the cabinet, the leftover Pasta on the shelf. This afternoon I walked to the corner store, bought a pint of cherry garcia, ate five bites and threw the rest down the garbage shoot in disgust. I feel like a miserable, weak person without a lifeline. I want to stuff my face in consolation with pizza, and pudding, and chicken, and anything else I can find. I feel like a drug addict without her heroin or coke fix. I feel desperate, sad, and angry. I want to scream in frustration because I can't fix my problems the way I always have, with food! It's too late to take a walk, reading is not working, and I can't watch one more minute of crap TV. Someone please help me get my mind off the food. Feel free to e-mail me if you have any suggestions: vford18@hotmail.com Thanks for any responses in advance!

Thanks everyone for your suggestions, honest reactions, and heartfelt advice. I made it through the night, terrible as it was, reading through the posts here and another obesity help site. I got up early today to walk. Being active really helped. I must have walked about 100 blocks around Manhattan today with my iPod blaring in my ear. I think that's my therapy. Thanks again everyone for your suggestions. Today is a better day.

Hi Alibob, I just saw my surgeon on Friday for my three week post-op visit. All surgeons do seem to be different, but I agree with Kathy, I've never heard of 10 months before a fill. The fills are what give you restriction. My first fill is 6 weeks post-op, so 3 weeks from now, and he'll be putting in 3cc's, more than I expected in the first fill, but it also depends on the size of your band. I would ask again, along with his rationale if I were you. That just doesn't sound right to me. Best of luck!

February 17, 1978- Me and Michael Jordan...now if only I got some of his height.

Hi Chris- I'd love to meet up with you when you hop across the pond. I live about ten blocks south of your hotel. I looked at the dates of your visit and unfortunately you'll miss the support groups that I usually attend, (Mt. Sinai's group meets the first Wednesday of each month, and NYU's group is the third Wednesday) but maybe you and I and Marc can make our own group and get together for shakes and stories. I've been banded almost three weeks now and am down about 20 pounds so far. Feel free to e-mail me as well and I'll give you my contact info: midtownchic78@hotmail.com Either way, have a great trip! -Valerie

Congrats to everyone who's lost so far! I was banded Aug. 9th, and for me that first week out was hell. It was tough mostly because I expected to bounce back so much faster than I did. I was really sore at the port site from it being sutured in, had a lot of nausea, and terrible gas pains. I sincerely wondered what I was thinking and was in regretland, especially after weighing myself in the hospital and thinking I had gained back pounds (nope- your body is filled with IV fluids and gas giving you false numbers!) Instead of being out of work 3 days, it took me 7. I'm happy to report that I'm now almost 3 weeks out, the gas pains are all but a memory at this point, the port site pain is virtually gone (it would be completely, but my bf accidentally leaned on me late last week- OUCH) and the nausea is a thing of the past. Week two was really the threshold for me. So far I'm down a little more than 20 pounds and I'm really happy with that. People are noticing and my clothes are getting loose already. Good luck to everyone out there!

Stupid question for the experienced bandsters- but has anyone had issues with the port or slippage with crunches/sit ups? I am NOT exercising yet aside from walking- going to wait until about 6 weeks out to start. I can't help but wonder if it will feel strange/hurt/cause slippage when I do start. Anyone?

Thanks so much for your response Connie. You really answered my question. I'm getting stronger every day and looking forward to getting back to the weights in the gym a month from now. Oh- and BIG Congrats on those 57 pounds!!!! Awesome.

OK- I think my post must have been confusing. I am NOT working out at all right now! I am asking about when I DO start to work out- six or so weeks from now, has anyone had any trouble with crunches and the port? Going to EDIT now.

Hi Sue, Congrats on getting to where you are now! I still think making the decision is the biggest part. I was where you are back in May. I had seen the surgeon, asked my questions, and having made the decision wanted the surgery THAT DAY; only to have a slew of specialists/poking and prodding and potential insurance refusal in front of me. All those appointments go a lot quicker than you think, and you WILL get there! Stay positive. Also, your insurance may not require a full six months. My surgeon threw the same lingo at me as a "just in case they don't approve right away". My insurance approved after only 3 days with my file. I didn't have to do six months with a new doc (I was seeing a nurse practioner), and I'm 10 days post-op now. The time really did fly. Keep your chin up, remember why you're doing what you're doing and feel free to scream in frustration every so often! Best of luck.

The first pic is three days post-op, and the second pic taken today, at nine days out. The gunky stuff around the scars making them look more red than they are is the surgical super-glue stuff. The top incision has lost its glue, but the others still have theirs. Getting better!

Hi Karen, First, a BIG congrats on getting your surgery date. Manometry (got the right spelling this time) is a procedure a GI doc will do to determine the strength of your swallow and of your esophagus. My surgeon said it helps in establishing a baseline if you run into complications later. It's fairly unpleasant because they have to stick a flexible tube up your nose and down into your esophagus until it reaches your stomach. Then they make you sip Water while they pull it out slowly to various levels. They use spray lidocaine to numb your nose and your throat, but it was still very uncomfortable. My surgeon is Dr. Jacob, and my insurance is Healthnet, a subgroup of Guardian. I was really surprised with the quick turnaround, having heard so many horror stories about rejection. Have you found a live support group that you like?

Hi Everyone! I'm newbie to the site, and it's been a tremendous comfort to read so many stories like mine. I went for my first surgical consultation back in May and now, three months, eight required specialist visits, and countless pokes and prods later, I'm approved and have a date with Mt. Sinai in just under two weeks. Anybody else have the dreaded monometry (sp?)? My insurance co. approved in three (3!) days, so now my fears have switched to post-op. How am I going to feel the first time I want to really eat, and can't? Co-worker whispers, how my boyfriend will react to the scars, the condescension and judgmentality of those who don't "get it", etc... Beyond and above all that is excitement to have the surgery and start this new chapter in my life. I can't wait to have more energy, worry less about developing diabetes, apnea, circulation issues, and of course, NEVER have to shop at Lane Bryant again!

Counting down the days now...August 9th