throwaway557

So I got my surgery a year and a few days ago, and my weight dropped from 315ish to 268 at the lowest, and was hovering around 270 for awhile..... Now, I went to a doctors appointment when I was at 278...now I weighed in at around 295 at home....... I dont want to go to my doctors and tell them this. They saw my weight gain and told me to go on a 600 calorie a day liquid diet and I was like "LOL NOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" because it just sounded ridiculous and impossible. Sleeve or not, thats borderline starving yourself. Thats a BIG problem as to why I gained weight. A part of me was like "I'll show them!!!".............. and now my clothes arent fitting, so I sure showed them...

I want to ask my doctor this. I made the surgery happen and it was a mistake. Im 7/8 months postop and Im gaining weight. I was down to 267 at my lowest and I was 273 at my checkin in December, and 281 now, end of March. Is there an easy way to see this? COULD my stomach stretch back to its full size? I don't need a peptalk or anything. I KIND of want to go to a nutritionist and see if they can help me. I dont want to go to my followup appointment in a couple weeks because I swear to god all the doctor will say is "youre gaining weight, this is bad. you shouldnt be gaining weight. gaining weight is bad. your surgery is not a success." - please, I don't need to drive there for you to tell me that.

Well now Im not too ashamed to go back to the doctors in August. I'm going to really try today. My weight is at 293 right now, 20ish pounds down from where I was pre surgery, and 20ish pounds up from where I was post surgery. I gained 13 pounds since mid May.

Wow seriously? I am a bit shocked honestly...

You remember me all this time ago? Am I really one of the very few who struggles here?

My mom's the reason I made this throwaway...what happened last time on another account is that I posted on here, it got sent to my email, my email for some reason autologged on, on her computer, so if she loaded up the website email then it would log on to my email...she would see bariatric pal or VSG whatever it was, then freaked out and talked to the surgeons. Caused her a lot of anxiety and shit so I dont tell her, because then she freaks out and when she freaks out, it pushes me away from her....and we are already pretty far away as is...... I'm my own support....and Im not doing a good job

I have chicken, but honestly I havent been cooking in awhile and that could be my problem. When I was cooking, my weight was going up but very slowly. Now since I havent been cooking, its been going up pretty fast. I want low-prep foods, so I think Ill stick with yogurt and the shakes. I dont trust salads because at costco theres these premade salads for 300 calories and I can have two of them easily...

VSGAnn, honestly? No. But I was going to go either today or tomorrow and go to costco and get the Protein shakes and live off of those for a week....Have 4 or so a day...or try. Well failing IS an option because I am doing it. But its not the right option, the right option would be to go get those Protein Shakes and follow the doctors orders and live off of them for a bit.

Holy shit guys, I do not know how to show you I am not a troll. I think I was a VERY poor candidate having an eating disorder, and I wasnt ready. Thats 10000000000% sure. My weight keeps going up and up and up and all I feel I can do right now is either get help or passively watch my weight increase. RJ's/beginning, I do not know any body who has FAILED after the surgery like I have. As in, went in the COMPLETE other way. I think I am so insecure and maybe depressed because there was a party last night with a lot of my friends, and I chose to stay inside. Why? Because I dont like going out in public, where pictures will be taken and shit, knowing my friends will be thinking "Man, he really let himself go....."

I came to it knowing it wouldnt be a magic bullet based off other people and what they said......but I thought it would do SOMETHING. Right now it does nothing. Actually right now school went incredibly well. My social life has improved tenfold, I am getting a 3.8 GPA in a very hard science major, etc. My only thing that is failing me is my health, as always. Before, if you asked me say 4-8 years ago, I would have said social, school, and health were failing me. I can definitely write out why I had the surgery. That could be my little homework assignment I suppose. I would NEVER share this with my surgeons/doctors because...well..I dont trust them and I just feel horrible every time I go there, so much so that I was thinking about never going back to visit them after the last time I went. And I'm in a worse place now than I was before! You know, I was actually super overwhelmed with all the damn pills I had to take, I stopped taking everything after the first 3 months, including my anti depressants. This was back in around the time I started school. BUT, I noticed my school grades were doing very well so I decided (eh, dont need these anti depressants, my school and social life is flourishing).

I wish I was trolling. I wish I could show you guys my face back in August/September to how it is now.....

I used it as a tool to curb my eating disorder, but now it just seems like everything I do is preventing it from working. On top of the alcohol (to be fair, I only drink like once a month now), since discovering costco my general health has gne down too. For example, I went to Costco on Sunday.......I bought a 36-pack of diet drinks, 15-pack of tamales, 60-pack of Waffles, and a 30 pack of burritos. All but 4 tamales are gone.....The waffles are 190 calories, the tamales are 300, and the burritos are around 300....so that is around 5000 calories a day..........come to think of that, its quite a bit............a lot more than I expected. I was expecting 2.5k or 3k... Is 600 calorie liquid diet even possible, honestly? I really SHOULD contact the doctor's, but I felt realllllllly guilty and ashamed (both of self-guilt, and what they said, that I failed (without using those words) and I should have lost more)

Why wouldnt I want to change? I dont like it when my clothes dont fit......

I dont know...... :/

Wait, 1k? Haha sometimes I eat 3k......

For sure you could lose fat, as well as water weight and muscle. Look, if I was to go on a 600-900 calorie diet, that would be a week before the appointment so I dont look like a complete failure, but lets be real, that diet would never stick. I would never go down from 283ish to 270 and just stay there. No, it would creep back up like it has

But how much of it was water weight...

I genuinely do not think 3 protein shakes, 600 calories at max, will satisfy me..

So my head isnt in the game, I get that. But that doesnt make me crazy, that just means that the surgery failed in their sense. Im seeing a counselor now, and have been. We talk about how my weight sometimes but she is an Eating Disorder therapist and doesnt like talking about numbers, not fixating on them. Which is what you guys do (patients and doctors alike). An endoscopy sounds like too much, in terms of time commitment and money, I was thinking to see a different way. Otherwise I just wont go to my appointment. Waste of time to hear them telling me I failed

Is there a way to ask my doctor if he can tell how far its stretched out? Because like genuinely I dread going to those appointments, not only because it puts me down, but because its a commitment to go to them (i.e., a decent drive there and back)

I could probably eat 2 medium-large slices of pizza with very little Water. Before, I could eat...f**k if I know, a LOT more than that. Edit - I mean really, it depends. It depends on how long of a time frame we are talking about. IF we are talking about 15 minutes time span eating two slices would take me 3 minutes and I could eat more in 15-30min

Lol....far from it. 4-ish meals, nothing set in stone. I cant judge how large my stomach is, but as far as Im concerned its back to normal size probably.

Its not a matter of how much I can eat, its a matter of how much I can eat over a period of time.... I've learned my limits. I've learned how much liquids I can take in at once, food, etc..

I'm failing my surgery. I'm doing everything they said not to do. I'm not taking my Multivitamins. 'm drinking with a straw (since the stomach pains went away like 1 month out) I'm drinking carbonated drinks. I'm drinking alcohol. Typically beer or long islands. I'm a little worried about that because I had a beer and napped at 10:30 this morning. Never did that before. I'm eating shit. I just went at Applebee's and had myself the full appetizer sampler. I feel like I'm going to explode. I swear I shouldn't have gotten that surgery. I went from 315 to 268 now I weighed myself at 280. The fact I can't cook and living on my own doesn't help. I can't turn to my mom because she'd just freak. She invested a lot in this, but sometimes she forgets I have too. I don't know what to do. I'm not maintaining anymore. I'm worried

Im gonna try to reply to everybody because I havent been keeping up since I posted last. @Sassy, what brand? I am using Celebrate, and I think those are specifically for bariatric patients. Carbonation has became a thing for me since I started drinking beer, when I turned 21...which was like a month post op. I know the effects of it though. I know my limits. I cannot chug beer. I will physically feel sick. I physically felt sick the first time I had a large cup of beer. I cannot do that to myself. I cannot make myself feel sick. Rotissaire chicken seems nice, where can I buy it at and under what aisle? Is it one of those things where you plop it in the microwave or what? @krlstlkay - Im bad at actively forgiving myself. I live my life pretty mindlessly. I will mindlessly hop on facebook, mindlessly do this and do that...I think I need to see a nutritionist who has worked with a bariatric patient because right now I DO need help with recipes and stuff. I am living off what a typical college student might do, and Im not a typical college student as much as I want to be... @erp - Maybe thats where I messed up. I never had a clear goal. I wanted to lose weight, but I always wanted to lose weight and it never got me anywhere. I just never really set goals with weights. With health. I just live life. I can try to set a goal like work out twice a week or even once a week but I might not keep it, then whats the point? Thanks Erica @Seela - yeah it did get out of control. I will look at it again tomorrow morning probably. I feel bad now (I always have something to feel bad about haha), because if I were to not reply now I would probably leave it. I have a tendency to post on here when I feel like shit, and eat like shit right before I post on here, and then walk away until the next time. I know its selfish of me...I recognize I can be an asshole like that, but I know otherwise I am a decent human being :X. I hate choosing between Health and School and right now in my life I feel like Im choosing between a social life Im building and health and school, where I really only focus on two of those. If I wanted to, Im sure I can force myself to go to the gym or eat nothing but good stuff....but my life would be miserable. @playlikeworldchamps - I'm not going to lie, one egg may not satisfy me. Three eggs would probably be better, with some cheese. I dont know how much my stomach has stretched out, but I can tell you that before, I had a problem downing 2/3rds of a Premier Protein shake (11oz), and now I can down two of them without much trouble. One greek yogurt or one cheese stick won't be enough for me. One patty wouldnt be enough for me either. Volume wise, I feel like its half of what I would eat. Or less. Im stuck in a point where I feel like I am eating LESS food than I did when I was pre surgery, but more food than I was when I was working up to everyday-foods a month or two after surgery. Once I moved to college and had real food available, the weight stopped losing, and I started maintaining. Now Im gaining. @Selena - She probably does, but my relationship with my mom has never been great. I would turn to you all before my mom. She cares, but too much and it pushes me away.