Hi everyone. I just thought I'd spend a few minutes introducing myself. My name is Aaron and I live in CT. I've been overweight since around the 2nd grade and have finally decided that enough is enough. I'm 27 years old, have an amazing wife, have an amazing family, job, toys, blah blah blah. Yet, I've never been so miserable. I think I've finally hit that point that people always talk about. The point where you can't stand something any longer. The issue is at the forefront of your thoughts 24 hours a day. It's the one thing you can't take a vacation from.....yourself!! I'm almost done with the pre-op consultations and everything else. I'm scheduled from an endoscopy in a week and a half and that should be the last item on the list.
My wife and I were sitting on the couch a few months ago and we saw a commercial for the Lapband on tv. She jokingly laughed and said, "Maybe that's what you need to finally lose your weight" (she's 5'10" and 130 lbs...begin hatred now ). I laughed it off and she continued thinking about it. Next day there were some phone numbers for me waiting on my desk. I laughed at people that had weight loss surgery for the longest time. I knew I could lose the weight if I just buckled down and did the right things. I saw a nutritionist for almost 2 years and even then I didn't lose much. Overweight people throw around the word addiction alot and that used to drive me nuts too. "People can only be addicted to drugs & alcohol." Basically, I was the overweight hipocrit.....300 lbs but I could lose the weight at anyime. Sound familiar? "I snort coke but can stop at any time."
Well my eyes have been opened. I guess food really can be addicting like a drug. What do drug addicts do? They get help. I have so many emotions running through my head about this surgery. Not only am I afraid of the actual surgery itself (never had any procedures before), but am afraid of losing the weight. THAT SOUNDS NUTS..!! I've been overweight for almost the enitire 27 years I've been alive. Someone asked me recently, "How has being overweight affected your life?" I laughed and said, "Being overweight hasn't affected my life. It IS my life." I've always told people that the thought of being a normal size is as strange a thought to me as growing wings and flying away. Impossible, and never going to happen. I'm ashamed that it's come down to this. I'm ashamed that I didn't have the will power to stop eating when my stomach was full. My sense of humor was developed by making fun of myself before anyone else could. What do I do when I don't have that fat to make fun of anymore? Does any of this sound psycho nuts? Did anyone experience any of these thoughts or emotions? I can't tell you how much the thought of being a normal size gets me excited, but it seems impossible and I've been this way since I can remember. I know nothing else.
Anyways, now that I've depressed all of you, or pissed you off, or both, I'd like to say that I truly look forward to reading all your posts and following all of your experiences. It's nice to have other people to share this with.
Sincerely,
Aaron from CT