want_so_bad

wednesday b: coffee w/ 2 tsp sugar and french vanilla creamer ms: 4 tootsie roll midgees l: 1 slice thin crust pepperoni pizza from pizza hut af: nothing d: 1/2 c spaghettio's w/ franks es: 1/4 c. chocolat milk (poured 1/2 c, but went down SUPER slow, so only drank 1/2 before giving up and going to bed) 20oz crystal light pink lemonade 4oz fruit punch i was mad at myself for the piece of pizza at first because it has 380 calories. but then, after looking at the day as a whole, i did good (calorie wise).

tuesday b: coffee w/ 2 tsp sugar and french vanilla creamer ms: nothing l: 1/2 cup WI cheddar cheese soup (not quite all of it) af: 6 tootsie roll midgees d: 1/2 cup chili, small piece cornbread w/ butter and 1 tsp honey (piece was 1 in wide by 2 in long) 20oz crystal light ice tea 16oz pink lemonade water going to try posting each day to hold myself accountable. really trying hard to lose this last 11 lbs! beginning to think i would be ok to just lose like 6 more...

als74- i wish i had something great and inspiring to tell you to try. but i dont. i am in the same boat as you. i can not believe i have lost the weight i have and am unable to buy smaller pants! my pants all look funny because they are loose on my legs and butt, but i have to wear the same size because of my stomach! i hate it! i have come to the conclusion that my only "fix" will be to have a tummy tuck when i get to goal. sorry i couldnt help you, but at least you know you are not alone. and! if you find some great thing that works for you--please please, share it!

wow, fae, thanks. so i am just gonna keep on riding my happy train with this whole body thing. guess i should have elaborated more in my original post. i KNOW i am not gonna look just like her, silly! i have 2 kids, am almost 30...she is 16.... what i was meaning was more like i will be close to her general body shape and size. i look forward to and welcome the "long scar" i am going to get from the tt. i can not wait! that long scar will mean these skin and unrelenting fat rolls will be history! i will look like what i picture myself looking like, or perty dang close! i dont have some unrealistic goals either, just need some fixin' uppin'.

Your restriction level will change as you lose weight. As you lose the fat around your stomach your band will become looser. Hence the reason for fills over time. I would think that your tightness now is also coming from the swelling from surgery, not just the small fill they gave you. If you do decide to wait it out be sure to stay hydrated. Being dehydrated can also make your band tighter so you will really want to stay on top of that. I wonder why she tells you the unfill would be painful? That is weird! You can ask to have the area numbed, the only pain would be the sting from that. I wonder if she mean because they would be pushing on your stomach area to find the port and you might hurt from being sore from surgery?? Good luck.

so ladies i need some help. i keep seeing all sorts of different commercials/infomercials for body shapers. and i really want to get one/a few. i need desperate help in the belly region! this sagging skin is absolutely nasty. clothes dont fit right. i feel gross. i think if i can find the right shaper i will feel so much better about my appearance. does anyone have one they just love? or know someone who has one? please please help me. i am getting really down about this. and i should be happy about the weight loss! thanks!

lilmiss! welcome back! ughh, moving. uck. we did that a little over a year ago. it was nice, the whole bigger house thing, but the whole pack and unpack thing, not so much fun. good luck with all that. i am sure that will burn plenty of calories! i have been slacking on actual working out exercising but have been busy so i think that has helped me. i would be doing so much better if i was really working out. i am making an effort starting today to do at least 30 minutes each night this week. congrats on 30 days! way to go! i am so proud of you. i totally tanked it on even trying with the candy thing. but i am back on it today, giving it another go. i was doing really good, but have stalled out, even gained a few back. i took a good look at what i was consuming and it hit me! it was what i was drinking! i had been only drinking Water and crystal light. but then i went on a gatorade and real lemonade/pink lemonade binger for little over a week, probably like a week and half. holy crap how those liquid calories just load up on you. but today i am back on the crystal light wagon and i already feel better! i am in charge of the concession stand for this weekend for the boxing tournament our club is hosting. its killing me! i have so much crap in my house right now! boxes of candy. i have been baking Cookies and brownies....i will be glad to have it over with and these things to be outta the house again. this week is crazy busy getting everything ready for saturday's boxing. i will be glad when its over and things return to our normal busy. i figure then i will be able to up my workouts and be more focused on myself again. congrats on the lsoe jrfan! seeing a loss always gets me going again! i tend to get tighter after a week or two as well. and i am always tighter in the am, usually until around noon or so. it took some getting used to. hope everyone is well.

it was once said that a black man would be president when pigs fly. 100 days into barack's presidency and swine flu.

of course. i will go this afternoon and see how much it is and let you know. i do have a paypal account. let me check on it and then we can get it all figured out. no worries!

nanook- i never meant to offend you with my question about pansexuality! i was really confused about it and wanted some clarification. i never intended it to be a "joke". i am sorry you took it at as such! bjean did a wonderful job of explaining it to me. and plain further voiced my same questions on the topic. glad to know i am not alone in my way of thinking on the topic. i just wanted you to know i was not in any way making a joke on wanting more info on it. sorry if i offended you as that was not the intent in any way!

i am sorry, but could someone attempt to explain the pansexual thing to me please? i read the definition but still cannot grasp the concept at all!

i live in wyoming. let me know if you would like me to. it wouldnt be a problem at all.

the bear spray i had was just the small can, key chain size one. fit into the palm of my hand while i was walking. it worked great on the dogs i used it on and i barely pressed the trigger. i was kinda scared of using it. i was afraid of using it, i didnt want to hurt them (stupid i know, here i was, scared they were going to bite me, and i was scared to hurt them). they took off running and yiiping and wimpering. and my friend and i took off coughing and gagging gagging because at that same time a light breeze blew it back at us just a little. i mean, we barely got a hint of it and it was horrid! if you are interested in the small can pm me and i can see about getting you a can from the store here that i got mine and sending it to you. i am comfortable with guns too. if you are worried about something like you talked about happening i think by all means you should do some target practice and start caring if it makes you feel better. i live out in the country, but not as remote as you it would seem.

have you looked into bear spray? i used it on some dogs that would not stop bothering me on my walks and they never bothered me again. i do recommend making sure you move away quickly after spraying it though! even the tiniest whiff of the stuff chokes you up fast! lol, and yes, i am telling you this from experience. but man, those dogs caught sight of us and would run! it was great. and we didnt fear walking by that area anymore on our nightly walks. i hope you find a solution to your problem. the thought of not being able to do something that you so enjoy would really be a bummer. good luck.

i start laughing every time i think about it! i think it hilarious! funny funny! but everyone has different taste, to each their own.

my sugar cravings have started since being banded. i used to be a salty girl. didnt really like too much candy, ice cream or anything like that. now i do. i dont know. its weird for me.

but would you love him unconditionally? would you be accepting of "his choice to live in sin" as you put it? would you walk down the street with him, hand in hand where all your church friends could see you touching the "sinner"? would you call him out on his "sin" multiple times a day, over and over and over? would you tell him how you were going to heaven and he was going to hell because he was a SINNER?? do you hug your nephew? do you tell him you love him? does it sound anything like this: i love you, you sinner! you are going to hell for being gay, you sinner. you homosexual sinner you." how can you be like that? i just dont understand where you are coming from patty. not at all.

abbykins- yeah-no! i wish that were the problem. my workouts lately have been more focused on my legs. i get in these weird almost like obsessed bouts of focusing on one or the other. right now its my legs. its hard to describe the way it feels. even weirder is that for the last 2 days now i have had a major backslide and have been pigging out on junk food. well, candy. and have lost a pound and half. wth is up w/ that? i dont know, but i know i am stopping today before the scale jumps the wrong direction 5 pounds! i wonder if it has to do w/ my new medication? i started taking topimax for migraines? hmm, i dont know.

abbykins- thats so weird that you mentions that arm thing. the last couple days i have had this weird twingie pain thing in my left arm, like the bicep area and shoulder. i cant figure out why its hurting. but i have been eating crap those days? i dont know if they have anything to do with each other. weird!

thanks luluc for the reminder of the original intent of the thread...my opinion on that.... i think it took balls for her to stand up and say what she believed in when she HAD to know what would come of it. that was just a loaded question, either way. answer yes, its ok, the pattygreen's come down on you, answer no, its not, the perez hilton's attack. just a way to draw attention to the pageant itself. now to blame your loss of the crown on that, pathetic. another attempt at attention. just my humble little opinion of course, wrong as some are bound to see it.

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY! who are you (in the general sense) to care what bob and tom or sue and linda do? does a homosexual couple being married change your marriage? i think not. you are still married. and i second apples question...patty what would you do if one of your children came home and announced they were gay? love them any less? disown them? hate and condemn them, or wait, i am sorry, their sin, not them, as you stated? i just dont understand having such feelings towards something that you dont understand. but i guess that could be the reason too?? i dont know. i am a heterosexual, married, mother. i only know a handful of gay people. i am not claiming that i understand homosexuality in any way, but i am accepting of it as a way of life and a way of being. who i am to judge someone else's feelings and being? i think its possible to believe in god and heaven and hell and sin and all that and not be so judgemental in the process. and damnit if i cant remember what the actual question/thought of this thread even was!

how is everyone? missdiva? havent heard from you for a while. things ok? i have had a hell of a morning. i totally tanked it! ate a crap load of candy. starbursts, reese's pieces, and airheads. i have to just shake it off and get on with my day. not all is lost. just this morning. hope all is well with everyone.

ugh. i have been home w/ a sick kid most of the week and just have not found the time to get on here and post. i am tired and not feeling the greatest. up all night with the little one makes it impossible for me to get up when the alarm goes off for the workout. a few days i was literally just getting to sleep. so i turned it off and slept. she seems to be getting better this afternoon though. i hope we are on the upward curve now. poor little thing! makes my heart ache when i cant make her feel better. that said, i blew it with the damn oreos. why did i even buy them? that was just stupid. but i havent given in to the candy, no reese's or snickers so i am proud of that. and i am back on the no oreo bandwagon as of tonight. i know i can do this. i find myself struggling with eating slider foods right now. i think i could use a slight unfill. but for now i cant. cant take the additional time off work after missing 3 days this week with the sick little one. and cant really afford it now either. i know what healthy things i can eat, and just have to make better choices. i can eat canned chicken breast, but not "regular" chicken breast. i can eat hard boiled eggs ok if i go really slow. i bought extra cans of chicken so i can make chicken salad for the week to take to work with me. and i boiled some eggs to have them to snack on over the weekend. tomorrow is the ms walk. my mom has ms and i am the team captian of the team we have that walks for her. i have arranged for her sisters and brother to be here as well as her mom and dad and some old friends of hers. this is the third year we have joined all together and walked and raised money for research and help for those living/surviving with ms. last year our team was 2nd place for the town we live in. the year before we were 3rd. i was really hoping to get 1st place this year, but donations were so hard to come by! last year we placed 6th for the state we live in. i am really bummed because i dont think we did as well. i know every penny we raised will help, i just wish it could have been more. and not that i want the other teams to do poorly, but i hope they had as hard a time as i did finding funds. lol, you know what i mean, right? i really want as much money as possible so that a cure can be found and my mom can be pain and symptom free. its so hard to watch her struggle on her bad days. but i hope the walk is great. i know she is looking forward to seeing everyone. its like a mini family reunion. i just wish it were for a different cause. hope everyone has a great weekend.

i am finally able to eat today! yippee!. i havent even tried since umm, wednesday of last week. i just kept getting stuck and pb'ing and sliming and it hurt so dang bad. but i am thinking maybe i just needed time for any swelling to go down. i am hopeful anyways. i ate a small bit of chicken salad and chewed until it just disappeared and all was good. i really just want every thing to be better and go forward. i have this stupid thing in my head going on that maybe i have just lost the Fluid and am empty now. but i dont wanna push it and test to see how much i can eat either. so i will just go with this for now. WTG missdiva w/ the chips. that is awesome. i am proud of you. i have not had any reese's either. and i am going to add snickers and oreo's to that list as well. those have been my weaknesses lately, well, before the fill, so i dont want to even start back into that habit. that is great you stood your ground on your car trip. that is so hard. i always want to snack then too. something to do besides sit there. my boys both lost this weekend boxing. it sucked. the older one pretty much forgot to show up to fight. i dont know what happened in his head. and the younger one did ok, but again, not to well at all. he was just off. the coaches keep telling me that one day it will just click for him and he will be an incredible little fighter, we just have to hold in until then. mama- i am sorry you and your family have been going through such hard times. i hope things will be getting better for you. we all understand all too well the emotional eating. i fall into that trip often. its good we can see that and are making the necessary changes. like missdiva said, perfection is not going to happen. keep you chin up and come here whenever you need support or a shoulder!

i am coming to vent/cry/whine or whatever you want to call it. here i was tuesday bawling over the possibility of a leak. now i sit here in tears because i am super tight today. i feel like i did when i very first got the band. this morning i sipped my way through almost a cup of coffee. thought i better try something w/ Protein so i made a carnation instant Breakfast w/ fat free milk. good and healthy, right? two sips, TWO SIPS, and i can feel it stopped. wth? so i stop. and i slimed for hours! i have no idea why! well, besides that the band must be tight. i mean, why else? finally it stopped. but stupid me decided i should try eating lunch. why WHY WHY didnt i just have the Soup i brought? no, i decided to try a bite of salad. wrong idea. bad idea. OH THE PAIN! and the slime. OMG, THE SLIME! i swear to goodness i have produced more slime today then i did from august of last year to yesterday! lol, i am a machine! and just as i type this am i finding relief. so that sliming episode lasted hours too. no more today! i am on liquids. and not milky/creamy ones either. that was hell. think i will stick w/ crystal light and some powerade/gatorade. maybe try some Protein drinks or soup tomorrow. and you know what, i like to eat. lol, yes i know, that is what got me here. but do you know what i mean? even a little of something would be better then this nothing thing. and its so weird because yesterday i ate Jerky. and was fine. very small amount of it, but still, it was ok. i am just feeling icky and tired and frustrated. i dont know really. all around just ick, ya know? the scale was down again this morning. thats a nice sight to see. as long as it doesnt start creepin back like it has been! hope everyone has a nice weekend.