want_so_bad

i have went from a 42d to a 38c. and it is prolly more like a b cup but when i tried one on i had some spillage issues that just didnt look right so i stuck with a c. but its kinda too big. i think i will look into those 1/2 size bras i saw advertised. my chest is so small now! i figured i would lose some in my boobs but not like this! it is really starting to bother me, i think i look funny!

i work at a tire store. i am so freakin frustrated with people lately. take this morning...yet again another STUPID person.... this lady comes in all huffy puffy, just real irritated. she states "YOU put tires on my car monday and one is FLAT today. this is NOT acceptable". EXCUSE ME? first you stupid bat, I did not put the damn tires on for you! second, unless you have not moved your car from our parking lot since monday, YOU probably ran over something in the how ever many miles you have driven since then! give me a freakin break. people do this all the time. some even better. i have had a guy call and yell at me that he got his tires here 3 years ago and he has a flat and what are we gonna do about it? well you dumb ass, since flat repairs are free when you buy your tires here, we are gonna fix it for you. 3 years! 3 years! i understand the stress and inconvienence of a flat tire, i really do. but come on now people. another of our favorites here in the office....someone comes in w/ a flat tire. we fix it, find a nail/screw/rock or whatever in it. we tell them this and they respond with "well, i dont know how that would have got there"...umm, you ran it over? no wait, the flat tire fairy floated down and decided to stick one of her sharp little nails in YOUR tire, just so you had to come see us. she is on our payroll! derr..... major cases of "here's your sign" going on around here!

omg, its stupid people day! i swear. i just need to vent for a minute, figured you all could understand my pain... i work in the office at a tire store. we had this guy call and get prices for a certain size...no problem. he then calls back for prices for a DIFFERENT size tire. i tell him the price. he tells me i am wrong and that he just spoke w/ my boss (the owner) who told him that the price was such and such. i said, yes, but that was for that size. he keeps tellin me i am wrong! hello stupid! not every tire of a particular style and brand are the same price!!! he gets all pissy w/ me and says, i will just speak w/ your boss. FINE, he will tell you the same thing! which he did. urghh....today has just been one of those days! we are incredibly busy and behind and the computers arent working......yeah, having a small pity party...lol. thanks for letting me vent!

i live in wyoming but drive to slc for my fills. i too go to dr muse. he is great. you can get ahold of him through fillcentersusa.com or his practice name is highland family practice i believe.

kat-- i know that when i find a place that i get great service and great value, i appreciate it so much! especially now-a-days when you go walmart and the checker puts your cleaner in with your produce (omg, a HUGE pet peeve of mine) or puts canned goods in on top of your eggs! drives me nuts that people just dont seem to care much anymore. travel-- we too are in a very small town and, to toot our own horn, are the best tire place in town! we have a great reputation that is well deserved. we are the same way with service calls too! we go hundreds of miles away to do service calls for people because or our reputation and word of mouth. its great. and i think that is why it gets so frustrating when people get crappy about things, ya know? my favorite is when companies call for a service call and get mad about the amount of time they will have to wait for our truck or the amount. they get all shitty, say they will call someone else. great, fine, but i bet you call me back! and they do, and then they are more pissed because i have taken another call and they are further down on the list. husker-- i know about those last minute things! we will have people come in that have a low profile tire, or an off size and get all mad because we dont keep it in stock! and they act like we are nuts for not having what they need that second. we do really great special ordering things in for people. usually we can have it the same week they come in. or they come in and want their brakes done yesterday and we wont have an opening until the next day and they rush out muttering and all mad. lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine! my boss really built a great business. he has worked very hard to get the reputation we have. and we all just grin and bear it when people come in. we will bitch to each other, and i vent here..... but its always smiles and yes ma'ma/sir.

having been sliming now for like 15 minutes i was thinkin.... what is your worst tasting slime? i have to say, right now, i think it would this one i am having now...ranch dressing. freakin nasty. not pleasant. ick ick ick. anyone else?????

umm, sorry, but what is that? jachut-- it has been slime, those huge nasty trails of saliva, but they are coming up flavored this time! most times its usually just saliva, but this time, and a few others, it tastes like whatever i had eaten/am stuck on. i know its not a pb, because its just saliva, but omg, nasty!

massa- i am sure that you agonized over your decision to quit your job. i have no doubt what a leap of faith you had to take to do what you have done. i commend you for taking charge and doing what you need to do. Maybe, you wanted to have wls, to look good, maybe you wanted to have it to feel good. --yes yes, of course i want all those things...JUST LIKE YOU DO! you want this to feel better, be in better health for your daughter. i wanted to feel better and be in better health for my kids, my husband, and for myself. of course part of it was "vanity", but i think that is part of it for everyone. not a driving part, but a part still. i did not mean to imply that i thought you wanting to live was wrong. i just didnt agree with the way to which you are doing it. and, i have been out there alone, taking care of a child, alone... i too was a single mother. i know the hardships that face a single mother, and i also know that single mothers can achieve many things, despite being single. after thinking about this, i do have to say more power to you. at least you will be getting back some of what you have paid in! i still dont really agree with it, but oh well. to each their own. and i hope you have incredible success with the band! i know i love mine.

i think i am sabatoging myself right now. i wrote about how i am on a plateau.... yeah, it is self induced. pretty sure about that. i think i am, ok ok ok, i am nervous about losing more! how freakin stupid is that! i really am. i WANT to, i just need to find a way to be ok with it. does that make sense to anyone else? i dont understand myself. i want so freakin badly to get to my goal weight, maintain and then get my plastics done. the idea/thought of that makes me so happy, but also so scared! what if, when i get there, i still hate how i look? what if its not the me i am imaging? at least at this weight, i know what i look like. and while i hate it, its acceptable. what if i get down to what i want to be and i dont like it? then what do i do? i know i am still at a good point fill wise. i am not losing because i am making bad food choices. bad, but not bad enough to gain. how do i get over these stupid fears?

i have to say that i disagree with what you did. quit your job so that medicaid will pay for your surgery? am i the only one who sees that wrong on so many levels? shame on you for taking advantage of a system designed to help those who need it that is already taken advantage of in so many weighs! being a social worker i am sure you had seen your fair share of those people that i speak of. those who sit back and get help that really could be out there working, taking care of themselves. shame on you! many people dont have insurance coverage for wls, i didnt! the thought of quiting my job never crossed my mind. i think its great you want to be healthier for yourself and for your daughter. its great you want a lifestyle change. but this? what is it you are teaching that daughter? not if you want something bad enough, work for it. how about, if you want something bad enough, let someone else get it for you. sad sad sad.

WHAT? well that just sucks if its true. stupid gum! i cant say that i have noticed it..??? hmm, well then...maybe i better find something else.... and i never thought of that whole getting stuck thing. eww....

i too chew gum and drink water-mostly w/ crystal light. i have started a new thing, repeating to myself, nothing tastes as good as thin will feel..... i am gonna type that up and put it on my fridge and pantry doors! and my newly acquired, as of today, munchie curber-----the pic's of my sil she sent of her tummy tuck w/ lipo! all i am gonna have to do is look at those on my cell phone and that will be it. i am so jealous!!!

yeah, i guess that could always be an option, huh? never thought of that...

for my sil who today, as i type this, is getting a tummy tuck and lipo. i should be happy for her! but i am not! i am having such a hard hard time with it. i am so jealous. but its more then that. well, prolly not really, but.... i am working at losing this weight. i am half way to my goal. it has been an incredibly hard journey, as you all know. she wakes up one day, decides she wants it done, and that is that. she is doing it. she didnt even lose the weight her doc recommended for her to lose. i am being so catty and insecure and just shallow about it! but at least not to her, just here and my mom and dh know how i feel.... i dont know if this is really it or not, but its like, i finally get to where i weigh less then her and bam, she takes that away. (so that is my own insecurities, i know.) my dh tells me not to get so upset/worked up. i am doing this the "right" way. our deal is i get to goal and stay for a year and then i get a tt and lipo and boobies. i KNOW i am doing it right. i know i will have great results and look good and its ok. it really is. its just so frustrating to watch her eat what she eats and i eat....ARGHHH!!! why is this so hard for me? i should be happy that she will be happy! i know what its like to be so unhappy with yourself and your appearance. i guess it all just comes back to being insanely jealous. i just want to cry. and i have. i have bawled my freakin eyes out. what is wrong with me? why am i hate'n on her? i look at people here who have had these things done and i am like, right on! good for them! they are awesome! i want to be like them! but there are not these icky feelings. ughh, just so frustrated with myself....:huh2: thanks for letting me vent.

so i have been stuck at the same weight for what seems like ever. i am thinking probably close to a month. i have been contemplating a fill, but am nervous about it as well. i am super tight in the am, until around 3 or so and then i am loose in the evening. i am worried a fill would make it too tight in the am. but i guess as long as it kinda loosened up in the evening that would be ok? i dont really know what i should do. one thing i do know for sure is that i need to exercise at a more consistant rate! i know that would really help. anyone have any advice on the fill? maybe i should wait and see if i get consistent w/ my other things first? i can tell i can now eat more in the evenings, that is a concern also. i have had slim to none will power lately. so i am gonna try to "jump-start" my losing again and go all Protein for a few days. tonight i am cooking a couple chickens on the rotisserie. i also bought those atkins advantage Protein drinks. gonna gag those down. i hope it helps. and last night i set up my ab-lounger and fixed my dvd player so i can do my cardio videos again. i hope i can get things moving in the right direction again.

i was warned by my doc that my band could/would be extra tight during my period due to hormones and whatever. so i hadnt experienced this and was thinkin i must be lucky. that was until this past saturday! i am usually really tight in the am, cant get anything besides coffee/water down until later afternoon or evening. so i didnt think much of it sat that at lunchtime i couldnt eat. i slimed and slimed and slimed and slimed and...yeah, you get the picture. so at dinner i was super careful. the smallest bite of mashed potatos. omg, thought i was gonna die, again! ok, whatever. sunday, same thing. only tighter i swear. i couldnt even get in liquids until noon! yesterday was a little better, almost back to my normal restriction. today i am starving (prolly mostly in my head, i know...) but dont want to try anything besides my crystal light! and, to make it all better, the damn scale is up 3 lbs! stupid thing. i know its the whole monthly thing and bloated, omg, i am bloated! but still! arg! i would pull out my hair if i wasnt so damn scared of losing it! anyone else experience this lovely monthly tightening? any suggestions on what to do to help it? just grin and bare it for a week?

my stupid ass dh got arrested feb 3 for a dui. well, let me tell ya the story: stupid ass dh LIES to me about going to the bar in the first place. him and 2 guys he works with. one of the other guys was driving back to their place, missed the turn, wrecks car into snowbank. someone stops to help them, husband is behind wheel to drive car while its pulled out. that is when the officer pulls up. he arrests guy driving in the first place for dui. is going to charge my stupid dh and 3rd guy w/ public intox. officer goes to car, comes back, has decided to arrest dh for dui also. i am so furious w/ dh cant stand to look at him...still, a month later! on with the story.... the guy driving went to court a week ago, charges all dismissed. interesting????? stupid dh goes today for drivers license hearing...charges not dismissed. very strange. he only blew a .083, limit is .08.... not to excuse him. if it werent for needing his paycheck i say throw is stupid liein ass in jail! the officer talks to dh in hallwall, tells him he REALLY needs to get a copy of the police report? strange... so we do. that stupid freakin jerkoff that was driving told the officer once he was in the patrol car that HE LIED! and he wasnt driving and my stupid dh and the 3rd guy, lets call him asshole #3, pressured him into saying he was and he just started the job and was scared. FUCKING LIAR! sorry. i am usually not like this. but he is f-ing w/ my world and i am not a happy camper. so basically its his doing that my dh got the f-ing dui in the first place. i swear to god that stupid f-er better hope i dont ever see him. wtf is wrong w/ people? omg i just want to scream and cry and just....UGHHHHHH!!!! so now we are on to a trial, spending a shitload of money on a lawyer. i know its my dh's fault all in all. but that guy lied his ass off to get out of it, putting my world in a tailspin. stupid f-ing piece of shit. i want to bitch slap him. omg, he is so lucky he doesnt live here. my dh is making copies of the police report and is going to tape them all over the rig and the locker room. so everyone can know what a liar and a piece of shit that guy is. well, i told him to, dont know if he really will or not. i cant believe this shit!

kat-- yes, going to trial because dh is pleading not guilty. the 3rd guy is a "good" friend of dh's and will testify that they didnt harass the other guy and that the other guy really was driving. its just the one guy that is being like this. dog on my stupid dh all you want. i am! another reason i am so upset about all of this is because i am so passionate about drinking and driving! seriously. i hate it. and now i am such a freakin hypocrite. i want dh to get off of these charges. i cant make all the payments we have w/out him working. if he goes to jail we are so screwed. that said, i hope he gets jail time, but they will let him do it on his days off. he works a week on and a week off. i told him, what if it wasnt a snowbank you hit, what if it were a mom going home with her kids? or anyone for that matter? he hangs his head and says i know i know. but why the f--k doesnt he get it? the worst part, this isnt his first! its his third. the others were before my time.... he told me, you just dont think of things like that at the time. well you damn well should you stupid f-er! i really really dislike him right now for all this. i am sitting here on the verge of tears thinkin of all the shit he has done with this stupid dui. every time i have to call the lawyer or one of the other phone calls i have had to make just get me all upset again. today i told him i wanted to smack him and then smack the other guy. he is all, why you mad at me? because we are going through this because of you! no matter what that other f-er did, its still your fault you were in the position to be in this position!

i just wanted to say the place i was coming from wasnt a racist place, i was simply stating what the man is. that said, i can see where it looks that and i went back and edited those comments out. my purpose wasnt to insult anyone, i am just very mad and upset about the whole situation. and i also just wanted to make it clear that i blame my dh for this whole thing. he is an idiot! that stupid guy wouldnt have been able to even do what he did had my stupid dh made better/different choices! i apologize now if my comments were read before i edited the post and offended anyone.

i didnt read through all the posts, so sorry if these are repeats. i just had a baby shower for a friend and these are a few of the games i did. if you want copies of any of them, pm me your email and i can send you copies. the candy bar game. i had a list of different words and you had to come up a candy to match. like "night of conception" was a "skor", "grandparents and/or epidural" was "lifesavers", and so on. the price is right. i bought like 10 different baby items, lotion, wipes, shampoo, etc... and then typed up their name w/ 2 different prices. had to pick the right price and then the mom to be got all the stuff. the 3-letter body parts--had to name the 11 3 letter body parts...actually came up w/ a 12 at the party! i also have a word scramble w/ baby related items. and a game where you match the mommy animal name with the baby animal name. buy thank you cards and have everyone self address them for her. that is a HUGE help. i also got some index cards and had everyone write a bit of "mom" advice on it for the new mom. we got things from make sure you sleep when the baby sleeps to take time for yourself. you could play the dont say "baby" game. everyone gets a clothes pin at the start of the shower and then if you hear any one say baby you get their clothespin and whoever has the most at the end wins. i will keep thinkin of any more ideas for ya. hope that helps.

ok, so maybe i am just having problems today....but, do you mean that after you eat half the wrap then each bite makes you sick? or every bite, even the first one makes you sick? if it is the first one, maybe that is your "soft stop" i have heard about? if the second, well, i dont really know. i know i cant eat ANY thing until late afternoon. only liquids until then. i am starting to accept this. its been hard and boy have i tested it. and boy do i pay for it. but i know i am not alone in this restriction pattern, so so be it. i will work it! hope you find something that helps!

damn that harry & david! i just ate 3! 3! 3 freakin chocolate truffles! and i had been doing so freakin good. bad bad day. ok, oh well, shake it off. this is the rest of the day and i will be ok. stupid freakin @#$(*#(@*$. ok, well, i feel somewhat better after that....dang time of the month anyways! wish i were prego...well, let me clarifiy...while prego, i did not like chocolate much! since having her, that taste has returned! lol, thanks for letting me vent.

so i need a good kick in my rear. i had a perty bad weekend. sat was so horrible we just wont mention it. sunday wasnt AS bad, but i made a few poor choices. but i had that lightbulb go off today...i screw up when i let myself get too hungry! duhhh..... i know i know, i should already know this. i dont know why it hit me in such a way today. so, better planning on my part for tomorrow and from now on!

i tried that frozen chicken breast from walmart i mentioned, the greek w/ roma tomato and feta. OMG! it was so good. and my boys (8 and 9) loved it too. it has some weird olives in it, i picked all those out because they were not so tasty. but it was very very good. i highly recommend.

i had a post something similiar to this. actually, about the exact same. i have the same restriction. but for the life of me right now i cant remember if i started a post or if i posted to one...i know there are a few out there just like this. wheetsin answered my post and also has the same restricition pattern. let me try to find the posts for you....