MMS

I have read a number of things about Mexico. It crossed my mind more than once. You can't help looking into it - it's everywhere you do reasearch on the band! Even that amount would be a strectch for us right now. I am willing what I need to do to get healthier, but I won't do it at the expense of not paying necessary bills or feeding my kids. I just don't see getting that amount together anytime soon. We don't have a ton of expedible income right now and I can't justify sugery for what we do have. I appreciate all the good ideas though. I did make the appointment with the surgeon and I will see what he has to say. I think I may need an even LONGER psych eval. I can't believe how sh___y I feel! I keep telling myself that I am healthy in every other way and that's a good thing and that I need to suck it up. There are thousands of people without health coverage and that have to walk themselves or seriously ill children to Doc's and I have no reason to complain about this little glitch. The worst thing is. A friend of mine had her's done today. The day I find out mine is all falling apart. Ahhh irony, gotta love it. I didn't know she was getting it done til like a week ago. I was and am SUPER excited for her, she needs it way worse then me, but now I am jealous! I hate that. So not me and that's the part I hate the most! :rolleyes

I know, I have heard of that option. I can't put my family financially in that spot right now.

It is 99.9% sure that I will be denied having my insurance cover the surgery. I spoke with two people in our Health Plans office and two reviewers from my insurance company and it does not look good at all. I have 3 dietician appointments yet and unless the surgeon becomes a pulitzer prize winning dx writer, I am sunk. I always knew there was a possibility that this would happen. I have a BMI of 37 and my co-morbidities are "soft". I didn't expect to be this let down. I have been dreaming of buying things off sale racks and having more energy and being skinnier and healthier. I still want to get there, but GOD THIS SUCKS! Escpically after the RN was telling me all these great results of patients they have. AND she told us of a lady who had the surgery last Oct and has lost one pound. Someone like that can get coverage and then, what I think, waste 20,000 bucks and not do the right thing and here I am DESPERATE. This is so sad, I can't even talk about it anymore.

Yeah!! I love the stories!!!!!! Rapunzel!! That is a good analogy! I know it will go fast. Just everything all at once is on a major hold. And the information I was waiting for in the mail? Ya, today the genius that works in the record department mailed it to my house instead of the school I am applying to. They have a policy about it arriving to them in a sealed envelope. I threw it on the counter like it was on fire and was frantically dialing the phone. So that will set me back a few more days, at least I now know what the hold up was. But that is totally my luck! So this is lame, but in 16 hours I will know more and that makes me feel better.

Yes, I know, patience. Yesterday was a particulary bad day. I have so many parts of my life that are in a holding pattern right now. It feels a bit disorganized and I don't like it!!!!! I love reading all the stories. There have been some very lively ones too!! I love the B&A pic seciton - WOW. Those are amazing. So in 24 hours I will be on my way to the RN and maybe I will have SOME idea of what is going on. Well, off to the mailbox to see if that stuff I have been waiting for in here!

I am in the beginning stages of this. I went to the seminar, had my really, really, really long psych eval and I have the appt with the RN and Nut on Thursday and it's KILLING ME. I am a naturally inpatient person and this is really kicking it into high gear. I also have some other things I am waiting for to come in the mail and phone calls from people to line things up for the school year and haven't gotten those. It's all too much for me this week! I know that my surgery probably won't be til November at the earliest, in my head, I am ok with that, but just getting passed this stage is totally making me crazy! Tell me all the great things you can do now that you could not before, give me your before and after stats. Something, entertain me!!! LOL!!! We also go some pics back from our last hiking trip that were taken at the spot we got married. I look like frickin' hell in hiking boots. I WILL NOT LOOK LIKE THAT NEXT YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! N O T That really did it for me today. I don't get all sad and bummed anymore, I got really motivated and excited for this change.

I met with him first, did one computerized test, went back did the block and word association type test, went back again and did the second computerized test and then met with him again to go over the results. He said I was being guarded during the second set of questions. I just found them a bit more confusing. He gave me the true, mostly true line. I couldn't decide if something was indeed firstly true. Just glad it's over. I have my RN/Dietician appt this Wed. This week is going to go by sooo slow. All my info has to go to a "team" for review. I keep thinking for some reason, that this is just not going to happen.

But I guess I am sort of miffed by the stereotype that all of us got big because we used food as a drug. I thought kind of along the same lines a couple times. The fact that you are overweight means you have some sort of psych problem. Fat or thin, who the hell hasn't at some point???? I know some in-shape skinny people who are REALLY f'ed up. No one questions them for 4 hours when they eat a big Mac. I am starting to resent it a bit now that I know others only were in there 30 min to an hour. Must be regional, I have talked to a few other people who were in there as long or almost as long over the last week. No wonder surgeries around here are scheduled out 5-9 months. :angry

God, wish I had a surg date. I am just doing all the before hand stuuff first. Mine told me anger can be a form of depressions, makes sense I guess, who knows. It explains why I feel irritated for days one end, probably mild depression which I have had in the past. He told me the only thing he could see was that 1.) My husband should be coming to ALL my appointments. He works at a hospital and has seen many, many, many patients with the band and RNY. He knows the drill and what the complications are. It's surgery though and he is worried, but not becasue of the unknown. I didn't think I would want him there for the shrink appt. He is coming to the RN appt and the Nutritionist since he does 98% of the cooking in our house. And just to get the info first hand on the different stages and to see if any questions he may have come up after what they have to say. The second thing was I needed to get my nighttime "head hunger" sort of bingeing under control, again, thanks Sherlock, why do you think I am trying to make these changes. I think he made it a way bigger deal then it is. I admit it used to be worse, and maybe I shouldn't have. Maybe he though I was sugar coating it or back pedaling. It's best to be honest. If someone does truly have something, why not discuss it with a professional given the chance? It will only make you that more successful, not only with weight lose, but life in general. This type of surgery and life change can compound something that seems small now.

The DUH thing I know! He told me my weight is causing some stress in my life and a couple of other "thanks Sherlock" statements. Wondering how much my visit with Captain Obvious is going to be.... He did bring up so good points. Things I have asked my self, but when you hear someone else say them, you think, WHOA, I better figure that out. Like the what are you going to do when you can't stuff your face? I said "um, take up knitting??" He was NOT amused. Someday I will learn to pick my audience..

How long was everyones psych eval is you had to have one?? I got there at 7:50 am, in almost immediately and didn't get out til 12:30!! The worst part was the little block puzzles, I felt like SUCH a complete moron.

I have only the last few months have been reading a womens blog who was an alcoholic. I don't think she ever said to what degree, but admits she had a big problem. She now runs ULATRA MARATHONS Like 3-4 a year. That is anything over 26.2 miles. Her latest was 103. She does a couple a year like that. When you read her blog, you can tell she is addicted. She trains every, every day no matter what. Gets up at 5:30 to trail run 8-10-12 miles a day. Hitting the gym while her kids are at activities. Bike riding 14 miles a day also. I can't image having the mental fortitude to do that let alone the physical. I think that's a heck of a transfer!