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cookielover

LAP-BAND Patients
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Everything posted by cookielover

  1. cookielover

    Pre-op Lap Band Shopping List

    Thanks for the list; I am going shopping tomorrow. I am having my surgery on October 3rd. I am going to get everything but the tongs...I just can't make myself do it.
  2. Alright so here is the deal... and it is a very GOOD deal. I decided that since there was a long delay in getting the lapband that I would take a journey of "self-discovery." I started out with the woes and the moans, and the pity party (no one came but me and my dog.) Then I decided to meditate, and look deep within. Yep I did that, and I realized that I did not like what was in the deep crevasses of my soul. I think I didn't like myself too much. Well I had to have an all out pity party with that new revelation...you will be happy to know my cat showed up, but looked bored and left early. Then I don't if it was the cat's departure or getting some brains- I decided that I am the master of my body. I can not wait until I lose the weight to start living. It must happen within a time period of 15 minutes. As a result and some positive thinking I booked two plane tickets to Las Vegas in August. It was so HOT! I walked around like I owned the city. I was the cat's meow. I was all over my husband (He wore a perma-smile until about three days ago.) The bottom line is I felt sexy, and my extra belly did not dictate my enjoyment. Well I should really be sleeping because in a few hours we are going to get on another plane and head for Southern California. I want to lie on the beach and get more sand. I have hired a professional photographer to take pictures of me for my before pictures, because I think it is important to capture my beauty today, as well as my beauty tomorrow. In the last 6 weeks I have started on the road to self-love; without having to fit into my perfect ideal of what I outta be. Now I am positive I can rise to the challenge of WLS, because I have myself on my support team, and I am doing it for the right reasons. So ladies if you haven't felt like your own cheerleaders, because your waiting for the band, or your waiting until you lose a certain amount of weight; I say seize the day, and love your self now and appreciate your beauty. Hey I am going to sun bath with movie stars Whoot Whoot. Soon after I come back I will get the long awaited lapband. Just imagine what kind of trouble I am going to get myself into with that thing!
  3. cookielover

    Viva my beautiful body!!!

    Well I just returned from 3 fab days in Disneyland! I walked for 13 hours a day with no problems. I just enjoyed myself. I went to a LA Dodgers game vs SF. ( I really don't know much about baseball, but I loved the boo-ing and cheering.) I also playing at beach in Newport CA. I got my hair and toes done, and had a professional photographer take my pictures with waves crashing as my backdrop. On my trip I also at the most decadant food (MMMMMMMMMMM....) (I was not put on a pre-op diet.) and had the time of my life. I spent time with my close friends and the love of my life; it was truly an amazing opportunity. I felt like I was transitioning from a catipilar to a butterfly. I am preparing for my next stage of life. My surgery is this week and I plan on taking it very easy afterwards. In the next few days I will spend a lot of time loving my plump self, but at the same time I will be ready to shed her off so I can fly.
  4. I am having my lap band installed on October the 3rd, but I am not as thrilled as I thought I would be. In fact it is the opposite- I am depressed. I want to stay in bed all day, I have no focus, I want to cry, and I feel hopeless. I was fired up about getting banded during the summer but during the waiting period I lost all interest. My doctor did not put me on a pre-op diet, but after reading the posts on here I decided that it was best to put myself on a pre-op diet, and so I did. However, I did not stick to it. I just did what I wanted, ate what I wanted, and then beat myself up as much as I wanted to. I don't recall being this type of person, but now I am. You know what I fear the most? It is being thin. How are you suppose to act when you are thin. At this moment I am invisible, no one sees me. How will it be when the weight comes off and I have no control of what others see? Do I want to be thin? Has anybody else fought with these feelings???
  5. cookielover

    Afraid of the band

    Hello my lovely supporters. I am feeling much better now. I paid my money, and now there is no turning back. I knew then, and know now and will know later why this is the best decision for my life. I was reading the post and it occured to me, "Dude, what if I fail?" Honestly that was what was really bumming me out. Now you need to understand I am a "take charge ask questions later" kind of person. I run in and assume success, and know what- as a result I usually am. But this is truth I have never shared with anyone: In my past I was a manager in a big company and on my way to bigger and better things. I was outgoing and popular. I was the head of committees. I had a lot of friends, and I was always cheerful and smiling. I threw a lot of parties and overall had a passion for life. - But inside it was all a lie. I was shy and dying. I hated the parties and I wanted to hide. Now after getting sick I have locked myself away from the world and the only people who see me are my family. (I am disabled.) I have and always had low self esteem. I always felt like a sham, and I hid behind my fat. Now my weight is slowly killing me and I have to come to the realization that I need fix my weight. I can't hide behind it anymore. I need to live my life. I am capable, because the bottom line was: it was me doing all those wonderful things before. I need to learn to love myself as I am. SO, I am going to find a weight loss specialist and work through this as I lose the weight so I don't do this alone. I am going to keep coming here for support. AND.... I 20 minutes ago I just booked a trip to Disneyland for next week before my surgery. I am going to go and enjoy myself and stop beating myself up for things that are not my fault. (I am not going to compare myself to other people when I am at Disneyland, I am just going to think about how great I am.) Thank you for letting me tell my story.
  6. cookielover

    Starbucks and lapbands!

    Hi I have not had my lapband yet, but I was wondering if any of you still enjoy Starbuck beverages with your band? You know the speciality drinks?
  7. How many of you lost a friend because of your weight loss? Now I know we can argue that they weren't very good friends if you lost them, however it is a question that has been nagging at me. People get used to me being the chubby girl, and they sometimes are not comfortable with change. Hey and when I get a hotter body then they have (which I will) I wonder if there will be some bitterness? I know my true blue friends will stick by me...but will they? Change is hard on every body. What is your experience?
  8. What I am about to tell you guys is the absolute truth... Once upon a time before I was approved for a lapband I was a fairly conservative consumer of food. I usually ate until I was full; the problem was I was hungry often. (The hungry part is how I gained the weight.) Since getting the news that I am getting the lapband I am over eating. I can`t get enough food. Even when I am full I can`t stop eating; my tummy is yelling at me to stop, but I keep shoveling it in. Last night I wasn`t even hungry and I got out a super-sized bag of peanut M&M`s and cookies and proceeded to binge on them, and I NEVER would have done that in the past. I think I am going insane....Can anyone help me....Before it is too late.........:hungry:
  9. Hi Kero- I too am going through the Canadian process. I think the "non-refundable" portion is just that- non-refundable. However, I know when I paid the remainder of my surgercial fees I signed a "concent" form, and I can't remember if those fees are non-refunable...let me check...nope there is nothing in my paperwork that says the fees are non-refundable. But I am more than two months away from my BIG day. Kero this is a life changing moment and you have to be 100% commited to it. If you don't feel ready for whatever reason then go talk to your doctor and see if she or he can help you. I am sure that if they have not paid for the operating room you can get your money refunded. Good luck, and I hope you do what is best for you.
  10. cookielover

    Losing friends...

    Foot note... I am ending the relationship with my friend, but not due to my lapband. A sad story: the other day I was at the mall with my friend who is overweight and her daughter is 400 pounds + ( I only mention this because I think it is important to the story...) All three of us were walking out of the mall, and this thin women was walk pasted us walking into the mall. My friend's daughter yelled to the thin women, "How is the anorexia going? Is it working out for ya?" The thin women had not done anything to provoke this comment. She had not stared. glared, or paid any attention to us. Then my friend started laughing like a bully laughs at this poor women's expense. I so angry at my friend. If the table had been reversed and the thin women had made a comment to my friend and her daughter I would have stood up for them like nobodies business. So, I did the same for the thin woman. I spun around and said in a firm voice, "what are you guys doing? That was so called for, and mean!" To which the daughter replied, "Oh, like you weren't thinking it." and then my friend chimmed in, "Yeah." Right then and there I knew it was over. I would never tolerate someone belittling a person who was overweight, but it goes both ways. Maybe some people would disagree with me, but my morals say, "this is not right, and way wrong." So I am the biggest loser I haven't even started dieting yet and I lost over 700 pounds and I feel so much better!
  11. cookielover

    Losing friends...

    :thinkWell there is this one dear friend that I am thinking about. She has gotten heavier in the last year, and all she does is diet- to no success. I asked her if she would be interested in lapband, but she said she did not have "that kind of money" for surgery; since we in Canada are self-pay. Lately she has been coming up with reasons why I should not have the surgery- too dangerous, not enough weight loss to warrent extreme measures, ect. She has also stopped calling and visiting me. We used to see eachother everyday. I am beating my head against the wall- BECAUSE I HAVENT EVEN LOST A POUND YET!, and my surgery is not until October. I don't have too many friends, because I am also sick and can not work, I just moved to a new city, so I have no connections. I have one other really good friend, which I know I will keep, but I am so sad at the loss of this one...I am down 50% of my friends.
  12. cookielover

    Four more "sleeps" 'til band land

    You did it! You did it! You are starting a new chapter of your life, you took the road less traveled. It hasn't been an easy road, but I bet it has made you stronger and ready to emerge as a butterfly.
  13. cookielover

    Prescription Meds ????????

    I am bipolar, and I am on a boat load:fish2: of meds. My surgeon is fully aware, and his only concern was that the meds could be crushed. He would never take me off of my meds, as they are life saving and required so I don't get a one-way ticket to the psych ward.:sick I don't know what kind of meds you take, but if they are important I would call your surgeon or doctor and sort it out. Maybe you can replace them with more suitable drugs or maybe it was an oversight.
  14. Well the good news is that I am going to get a lapband:clap2: The weird thing is that the doctor was very doubtful that I would loss weight. He suggested that most patients only lose about 20 - 50 pounds and that most people get frustrated and give up. He suggested gastric bypass. I need to lose about 120 pounds and I feel discouraged. I am a self pay and I don't want to pay thousands of dollars to lose 20 pounds. He also said that there is a high percentage of "failure" with the band. I want to stay positive, but I hate to say this but I am having a bit of a case of "second thoughts". Can anyone share some of their personal experience with me, and give me first hand advice?
  15. Oh yeah My surgery is not scheduled yet, but it does not look like it will take place until OCTOBER. Help me guys, I am going to die of a heart attack if I keep going!
  16. cookielover

    Bad news from my doctor

    1. Laparoscopic Adjustable Gastric Banding Achieving Permanent Weight Loss with Minmally Invasive Surgery by Jessie H. Ahroni 2. recipes for Life After Weight-Loss Surgery Delicious Dishes for Nourishish the New You by Margaret M. Furtado, and Lynette Schultz.
  17. cookielover

    Bad news from my doctor

    OMG you guys are absolutely bar none the best people in the world! Support support support; I think this website will be a powerful tool to help me on my weight loss journey. I went out and bought two books from Barnes and Noble yesterday and they seem very helpful... A cook book dealing with life after WLS And a book that deals with the ends and outs of the lapband from pre op to post op Information is power!
  18. cookielover

    diet and cheating

    I certainly can not speak from experience, but don't give up in the at the finish line- you are so close. A chicken breast, heck even a piece of cake is not going to ruin it for you. Just do your best. Just remember there are thousands and thousands of people getting WLS and they can't all be saints. Hang in there sweety, and when it is my turn to do the pre-op diet you can be my shoulder to cry on.
  19. cookielover

    What Triggered You?

    My last straw was when I could not get up from the couch without my face turning some shade of red.:embarassed: Also I was tired of not being able to have my right hand scratch my left arm, I am just too wide. I am tired of wearing slip on shoes. I am tired of editing my pictures on photoshop to get rid of my double chins and my side face fat. I am tired of asking my husband if he digs fat chicks...to which he lovely lies, "Oh you know it baby." I am tired of paying too much for plus size clothes. I am tired of sleeping in the afternoon. I am tired of being hungry and crying, because I know if I eat more I will gain more.I am tired of my mom asking me, "Amy! How much do YOU WEIGH, and I AM only asking because I worry." (Which is a lie she just is fatphobic.) I am tired of rooting for Oprah to gain back her weight, so I don't feel so bad about myself. Oh my god if I keep going I am going to fill an entire page, and run out of smilies....but you get the idea. I don't know when I am getting banded, because there are no operating rooms available for August and I am going away in September, so it looks like it will be in October. Man I hate waiting. Thanks for letting me vent.
  20. I am a self pay and I did not get a guarantee as to what services would be covered after the fact. However, I know that in Canada, the surgeon is obligated to treat you after the operate on you. My surgeon requires payment 2 weeks in advance, because if I don't pay and he operates anyway... he has to care for me despite the fact I did not pay. (Meaning after care and fills.) He gets payment to protect himself...or I'd be alittle richer...naw...I'd pay...damn...I am too ethical!
  21. I cant wait to face a plastic surgeon! By the time this is all over I won't recognize myself. Hey Kero, I too am 33 and I am from BC, where are you from? I know how you feel about paying for this, OUCH. It is not fair, because it is only a matter of time before Canada gets smart and realizes that lapbands saves lives.
  22. cookielover

    Bad news from my doctor

    You are right, but there is not that many doctors in BC, Canada doing the surgery. So, I am going to prove him wrong. I was thinking and I think he was speaking from past patient experiences. And there is nothing about me that is "go-with-the-flow". I am going to totally KICK BUTT. My Goal: 101 pounds. Yeah you heard me, deal with it Doctor! I am going to throw your "average" out the window. And guess what, I am going to do a post-op diet, even though you didn't mention it. Because after what I have read here tells me that it is much better for my recovery! So HAH! I am so ready to do this thing. Let's go.
  23. First of all I have not had the surgery- yet. But from what I understand there is A LOT of bloating. Maybe you are retaining water. Make sure that you are getting enough protein...this stage is not about losing weight, it is about healing. I would think that your body would need more fuel to heal...but that is just my opinion
  24. cookielover

    i'm sad, confused and hurt!

    I know how you feel, in Canada where I am from our insurance does not cover lapband proceedures, so it is all me baby. I sold my house to pay for this...it is that important. I can get a new house, but if I die from my weight it is game over. And if I didn't have a house to sell, I would be in debt (via credit cards) up to my eyeballs. You can't give up. It is only money. This is life or death. I am there with you and I feel your pain. Good luck.

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