NO!! And those are some of my reasons to get this done as well. Still waiting on insurance approval, been denied once. Im doing it regardless, even if i have to self pay!! I look back at my life, (just turned 48) & see how much i missed out on, what i lost, let pass me by...not able to lose, just gain and gain... Then it became like a forcefield for me. Once i started doing work on me, the inside.. I started to love myself more. 3 years ago I met, became best friends with a man who was different, we were instantly connected, hit it off. All of our friends, his family, his children, exwife saw how we "fit". The kiss of death though, right at the beginning "shes kinda too big a girl for me for "that" kind of relationship. He admitted that to me...That and he was still grieving his marriage, not ready for a new romance...and had never been as close to a woman emotionally as we were and had it grow into more. Two years ago he told me that, started dating a thin girl i knew did not have what he needed in other areas. He spent more time with me!! He told me i was beautiful inside and out...but! Same thing i heard all my life, not something i expected to hear from him.... It was then i started really considering this...not to "get" him, but i realized what i had missed out on, what all the weight had held me back from. Looked in the mirror, and the inside didnt match the outside...it no longer fit who i have become, it hides it, it hides me. I want to wear cute clothes....already been staking out where and what... Lol. He just recently met some 32 yr old, not all that thin, but not as "big" as me...and i guess she is very similar in some ways to me... He says she is perfect for him. Younger, smaller, without the scars of rejection and this struggle... We have not spoken since he was secure in that relationship...he shut me out, i was a distraction. He, btw, has gained 40 lbs in the last 3 yrs, at his heaviest, big ole buddha belly.. Lmao @ the double standard, cause no sense getting mad. And yes.... I want to show up in front of him, not to win him back...but to say "look at me now jerk, see what you passed on...this is what true beauty looks like...overcoming a lifelong obstacle, making a huge lifetime committment/change....with grace, a smile on my face and gratitude for people like you that caused me enough pain to do it!" I will be wearing one if the "eat your heart out".shirts too. In pink. My emotional health is just as important as my physical... Maybe more so. Thanks for reading.
