Shear Diva

Help!! My best friend of 25+ years has basically turned her back on me! I am so confused... My family keeps telling me it's jealously, but I just can't wrap my head around it. First off let me start by saying I didn't tell my BFF I was having gastric until after I had the surgery and was settled in my room. But hold on, I didn't tell anyone but my immediate family. Now my mom knew I was having surgery but was under the impression I was having lapband until 3 weeks before the surgery.... Sounds crazy, but I didn't tell my mom which surgery because she is a worry worm and has always been scared of gastric, I didn't tell my BFF because she always downs and talks very negative about any and everyone she knows that has had the surgery. (Even though she wanted the surgery but couldn't get it because her insurance didn't cover it) My doctor told me to make sure I had people that would support my decision to have surgery and not talk me out of it or talk negative about it. Fast forward 7 months.... All seemed to be ok for a while after she told me she was hurt because I didn't tell her and I apologized... A week or so after I had my surgery she went on a diet and joined the gym. I praised her told her that was great and that even though I had the surgery we could lose weight together! She said ok and seemed to be excited about it, but stopped calling & texting me. So again I initiated a gym schedule so that we could work out together and she agreed. So the 1st thing I noticed when we would go to the gym & do our cardio is her staring at me when I would enter my weight on the treadmill. So, I was thinking ok not really sure what's that's about but what ever. So some weeks go by and I'm noticing when I attempt to share with her anything about guys that are taking interest or how good I feel she cuts me off or jumps the subject... So, I make a note to self not to discuss personal things even though we've shared our personal life with one another for years & years... Next thing you know she's telling me how guys are taking interest in her and that her husband better get it together. So I listened and laughed and made sure not to talk about myself. So I was thinking ok this will work I can be a good listener.. Lol... Then she starts texting but only to report how much she has lost & to ask how much I have lost. (Well she started doing this early on & that would be the only reason she would text). So a few weeks ago she started skipping our gym dates.... A mutual friend told me she made a post on Facebook that she was at the gym. Needless to say it wasn't on our workout day. So the next day I went to the gym (on our regular day) thinking she would be there, but she never showed. So the next day comes and she was still a no show. . Now it's almost a month and she never comes on our 3 scheduled days during the week. No I didn't call or text to see why not because it is clear to me that she's really not my friend!!! ???? So now I get it, but I'm so sad!!!! I'm still ME I'm still the same person! Why is she making this a competition? Why would she ditch me? Ughhh. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? Please share your story with me. I need to make sure I'm not the crazy one!

Oooh I love this post!!! Thank you for sharing that with me! This morning I couldn't stop crying now I can't stop smiling!!! I love it here!!! Why can't the world be like everyone on Bariatric Pal? Lol. ????

Wow! Now you all are REAL friends that is awesome! You are so lucky! It takes a real woman to admit when she is jealous. I always say that's a healthy jealous! I'm that type of friend and wish that my friend could be the same type of friend to me. I'm 39 and I never thought I would be looking for real friends this late in life... I'm so happy I poured my heart out on here, I am starting to feel much better! Thank you!

This is all so true!! I'm going to start looking for support groups around my area. Hopefully, I'll meet some great! Thank you for your support, and kind words I needed that! I'm actually smiling now and now crying. It feels good to be understood!

Thank you soo much!!! And you're right there is nothing easy about WLS!!! Maybe I need to find a support group. As a matter of fact that is exactly what I'm going to do, I need it! I do want to reach out to her but I think I'm afraid of the outcome. Thank you for your encouragement!

Ashley Stewart has Tall jeans as well!

I only lost 2 pounds during my 3 months of supervised weight loss. I gained that back plus 3 more pounds before I had surgery & I was still approved. I lost pounds before my surgery because the surgeon said I had to lose to shrink my liver or he would not do the surgery! I think you will be fine. HW:320 SW:311 DW:332 SD: 7/11 CW 272

CONGRATS!!! Your son is so beautiful/handsome... Seeing that pic made me want another baby for about 2 minutes!!! Take care! HW:320 SW:311 DW:332 SD: 7/11 CW 282

I love to drink everything ice cold, but since my surgery (gastric) it gives me light cramps in my pouch. Does anyone else have problems drinking cold beverages??

My Dr told me to buy Align Probiotic. It has 4 different strains of bacteria & 2-4 million colonies of each bacteria. <--- Good luck figuring out what that means lol!!! HW:320 SW:311 DW:332 SD: 7/11 CW 282

Aww thank you sweetie! Everyone here is so kind!!! HW:320 SW:311 DW:332 SD: 7/11 CW 282

I agree Jeepchick42!! Let's just keep getting fab right before their eyes!! Lol HW:320 SW:311 DW:332 SD: 7/11 CW 282

Thank you so much! Wow 25 years you all are like family then! Lol!! Congrats and Blessings on your surgery!! Yaay!!! HW:320 SW:311 DW:332 SD: 7/11 CW 282

Good luck RnJsNana.. It's hard not to share the news with everyone because its so exciting!! I don't regret my decision not to share. My grandmother passed a week & a 1/2 before my surgery and I took it pretty bad. ???? So all of my coworkers thought I just took time off work to get myself back together & I never told them anything different! Truth be told I needed the time to grieve and recover... HW:320 SW:311 DW:332 SD: 7/11 CW 282

All of these post are the reason I only told my family and 2 close co- workers!! Ughh who wants to be judged 24/7, we've been through that before the surgery!!! Now the down side to none of my other coworkers knowing is... Everyone keeps saying wow you look great, what are you doing? Can you write out your entire routine and diet for me... Too bad their results will not be the same!!! HW:320 SW:311 DW:332 SD: 7/11 CW 282

Wow, I've been wanting to ask everyone the same thing... I called my dr yesterday because my menstrual was a lot heavier than normal when it started. I stayed on for 2 weeks and stopped. Then I started spotting again yesterday! Annoying, but the dr said this is common in women after gastric! Good to know I'm Not alone!! HW:320 SW:311 DW:320 SD: 7/11 CW 282

Me too!! I have a friend that is 8/9 years out and hers is the same! After my 1st BM I went out and bought 5 cans of air freshener (no joke). LOL HW:320 SW:311 DW:320 SD: 7/11 CW 292

No actual time to complete my surgery was 2 hrs 45 mins in recovery and then I was off to my room back with my family. I had to be at the hospital at 5:30 surgery was at 7:30 I was in my room around 11:15. Only took that ling because I had to wait for bed or something.

Yaay so happy to hear this is temporary!!! Thank you!!!

Wow, well I guess I know why now! Thank you!