desertmom

And Im down 128.2 pounds.Weighed in at 168.8 pounds today.Only 4 pounds from my dr's goal.Not too bad if I might say so myself...lol
 
Am still all over the place with the eating at the moment trying to find my "normal" again but plodding along which still seems to work for me.
 
I will start exercising.Ok,I dont even believe myself anymore.But I should,I know.Still playing squash twice a week though.
 
Have revised my goal for myself to 154 pounds.70kg's or maybe 69.8 will be even better...lol.I might take my time getting there though or then I might just decide to seriously low carb for 4 weeks and drop all of it in a month (lost 14.6 pounds from mid November to mid December and 6 from Mid Dec till now) I can be done but is it important to do it so fast at this point?I am going to wait with PS till sometime later this year so there is no rush now.
 
Things I need to work on.
1. Exercise
2.water.I dont drink water.I drink tea with milk.Lots and lots of it.I need to drink water.
3.vitamins.I need to have my labs done and take my multi every day with the extra vit A and C
Ok,thats it for now.

And Im down 128.2 pounds.Weighed in at 168.8 pounds today.Only 4 pounds from my dr's goal.Not too bad if I might say so myself...lol
 
Am still all over the place with the eating at the moment trying to find my "normal" again but plodding along which still seems to work for me.
 
I will start exercising.Ok,I dont even believe myself anymore.But I should,I know.Still playing squash twice a week though.
 
Have revised my goal for myself to 154 pounds.70kg's or maybe 69.8 will be even better...lol.I might take my time getting there though or then I might just decide to seriously low carb for 4 weeks and drop all of it in a month (lost 14.6 pounds from mid November to mid December and 6 from Mid Dec till now) I can be done but is it important to do it so fast at this point?I am going to wait with PS till sometime later this year so there is no rush now.
 
Things I need to work on.
1. Exercise
2.water.I dont drink water.I drink tea with milk.Lots and lots of it.I need to drink water.
3.vitamins.I need to have my labs done and take my multi every day with the extra vit A and C
Ok,thats it for now.

Ever since my surgery I've not once experienced that trigger of madness that carbs use to cause before.Until yesterday.
 
Everything was fine until about 17:00 when I decided to have a slice of christmas fruitcake.One slice became 2 and I thought I was fine.But I couldnt stop eating after that.I want to list what I ate,so that I can remember how easy it is to just slip right back into old habits if not cautious!
 
We came back to the B&B at about 18:00 and that is when the binge started.Over the next 6 hours I had 3 rusks (about 40 carbs and 200 calories each) one of those round lindt chocolates,5 blocks of fruit and nut chocolate and then I decided I needed protein (not!) and ate about 5 thai pork riblets.
 
Now Im not sure if it the gin and tonic I had before the fruit cake that made me not think things through or if it was just the sugar that triggered me.The thing that bugs me so much is that until yesterday,I couldnt touch chocolate as the taste was just to revoltingly sweet.It would make me feel so aweful.But for some reason in combination with everything else It tasted wonderful and I could munch away at it just fine.
 
Not having access to a scale today is driving me absolutely crazy now and I am wondering how AM I GOING TO PRACTICE WHAT I ALWAYS PREACH.I can eat a breakfast of 1 egg and a sclice of bacon but as for the rest of the day,the whole family's going to spend all of this day on the beach and I have no idea what food there will be.I find myself eating fried foods and not grilled (by choice,bad choice) and I have had quite a couple of french fries already this holiday.
 
Maybe I should first find out where I can weigh.Then I should see if I can find any shop thats open (small town,everything seems to be closed on boxing day) to buy some deli meat (ham or turkey if they have) and then I should just stick to 3 meals and a few beef jerky sticks as snacks.
 
No one seems to understand that being so close to goal,I dont want to gain any weight now.It is not a matter of just losing it again.I have to try to get to a point where I dont gain with every special event in life.
 
Anyhoo,no use obsessing about this as a lot is out of my control at the moment.This is why I prefer hotel stays to Bed and breakfast stays it is just easier food wize.
 
Ok,now to tackle the issue of 1.no umbrella for the beach 2. ME NOT WANTING TO EXPOSE MY FLAPPING ARMS,BOOBS AND LEGS in front of all these people today.
 
Happy holidays everyone!

Ever since my surgery I've not once experienced that trigger of madness that carbs use to cause before.Until yesterday.
 
Everything was fine until about 17:00 when I decided to have a slice of christmas fruitcake.One slice became 2 and I thought I was fine.But I couldnt stop eating after that.I want to list what I ate,so that I can remember how easy it is to just slip right back into old habits if not cautious!
 
We came back to the B&B at about 18:00 and that is when the binge started.Over the next 6 hours I had 3 rusks (about 40 carbs and 200 calories each) one of those round lindt chocolates,5 blocks of fruit and nut chocolate and then I decided I needed protein (not!) and ate about 5 thai pork riblets.
 
Now Im not sure if it the gin and tonic I had before the fruit cake that made me not think things through or if it was just the sugar that triggered me.The thing that bugs me so much is that until yesterday,I couldnt touch chocolate as the taste was just to revoltingly sweet.It would make me feel so aweful.But for some reason in combination with everything else It tasted wonderful and I could munch away at it just fine.
 
Not having access to a scale today is driving me absolutely crazy now and I am wondering how AM I GOING TO PRACTICE WHAT I ALWAYS PREACH.I can eat a breakfast of 1 egg and a sclice of bacon but as for the rest of the day,the whole family's going to spend all of this day on the beach and I have no idea what food there will be.I find myself eating fried foods and not grilled (by choice,bad choice) and I have had quite a couple of french fries already this holiday.
 
Maybe I should first find out where I can weigh.Then I should see if I can find any shop thats open (small town,everything seems to be closed on boxing day) to buy some deli meat (ham or turkey if they have) and then I should just stick to 3 meals and a few beef jerky sticks as snacks.
 
No one seems to understand that being so close to goal,I dont want to gain any weight now.It is not a matter of just losing it again.I have to try to get to a point where I dont gain with every special event in life.
 
Anyhoo,no use obsessing about this as a lot is out of my control at the moment.This is why I prefer hotel stays to Bed and breakfast stays it is just easier food wize.
 
Ok,now to tackle the issue of 1.no umbrella for the beach 2. ME NOT WANTING TO EXPOSE MY FLAPPING ARMS,BOOBS AND LEGS in front of all these people today.
 
Happy holidays everyone!

Immediately after arriving I realized it will be a battle to get through this week without eating off plan,just because of the way my family eats.
 
My mom and sister have gained a lot of weight since I saw them in July.Sis because she had bilateral foot ops and cannot walk properly and mom because she is so stubborn.She needs knee replacement and Have issues with her foot after a failed surgery.
 
They both know that for them it is the little calorie additions that makes them gain weight.They've never been very fat like I was but they both lost quite a bit of weight with mindful eating.Cutting all the extra unneccessary calories.For instance.
 
When I offered to make tea they all wanted juice.And not little glasses of juice,huge ones.They also joked around about still being hungry after lunch,hauling out a christmas cake and eating huge pieces of it.I know they are a little self concious about trhe fact that I have lost so much weight.But they once again try to make out as if it happens by itself and I am so lucky!
 
Nothing to do with luck.I dont eat the junk they do.Not even in small portions.of course I will eat when we go out but I dont have coke or juice with it and I dont have to have a dessert anymore every time I eat.I NOW CHOOSE WHAT I EAT AND ALMOST FORGOT YESTERDAY that I CAN ALWAYS CHOOSE.
 
Love them but this is not going to be easy.I have to not try and tell them both that they will walk easier if they dont gain in fact lose 20 pounds each.It is not my business and I will not make it mine.I just feel so sorry for them when I see them struggle to walk.
 
Anyhoo,will go shopping for food that is good food and seems a little holiday like,for them as well as myself.Things they dont buy for themselves.They will enjoy that.I cannot feel guilty for being thinner than them either.They make their own choices.But it is the first time in 25 years that they are heavier than me and boy there was a lot of clowining around about it yesterday.Made me feel embarrased and shy again.
 
Well,lets see how this day goes!

I suppose being up for longer than 36 hours is not very helpful when making food choices.
 
I had half a crossant on the plane.Then a piece of chicken for lunch (good girl) but for dinner they were having fish and chips and I had about 7 chips and a too big piece of fish.I dont slime or anything.I start getting pain and then the food just keeps coming back up in my mouth.
 
This should be a lesson today.I need to be aware and not make stupid choices I will regret later.
 
Tomorrow,I will just have a carb free day.Will go and buy some chicken and smeat balls and satay kebabs that I can just keep on hand to eat when I need to.
 
Will update i. The afternoons to keep me accountable.

I think I've got this thing about "dumping" with the sleeve.
 
Let me explain.I think I've been eating relatively low carb recently.And I say I think as I am not tracking my carbs,just checking my protein intake more or less every day.But I have not had any added carbs this week except green peppers and onions.Tonight I had a bit of TGI friday spinach and artichoke dip with some veal strips.During the day I had some chicken strips and some beef strips.Had 2 Dolchi gusto cappucinos.And then tonight I decided to have some Amarula liqeur.Its like Baileys.
 
I took one sip and bam,I started feeling hot,nauseas,palpitations,feeling like I had to visit the toilet,felt absolutely aweful.Early post op I had a couple of incidents like this when I would eat some sugar or fat for that matter.But lately I would have a cookie if I wanted or ok,I sont really do sugar at all anymore really.The cookie would be it.Mind you I've had some caramel popcorn and I was fine.
 
But I think sometimes my carbs are just not that low and then the added sugar (like in the popcorn) doesnt affect me at all,makes me super tired but thats it.
 
I think when I am quite low carb and busy dropping weight fast,I cannot do sugar or a lot of fat.I think the Amarula like the Baileys have got cream in it and lots of sugar and boy did I feel sick from a tiny sip.I can drink a jin and tonic once in a while and if I sip it slowly and nurse it all night,I am fine.
 
So,sugary drinks,just like anything else sugary is now off limits.Thinking about it,I shouldnt really drink the tonic either as it is carbonated and even if you stir out all the gas,there is still some left.
 
One thing I am sure of.Alcohol will not be a problem in my future as it is as unappealing most of the time as ice cream,and I use to eat a pint of that per night pre-op.
 
You live,you learn.

Its so stupid how being at my parents house and seeing them so old and frail can trigger me into some serious emotional eating.
 
Of course we cant eat a lot but I actually grazed yesterday for the first time since surgery.
 
Had protein meals,that was fine but I ate the following that I shouldnt have:
Crisps-about 10,a slither of milktart,twice!10 mini crackers with a pate on it and not little bit of pate,a lot.
A piece of quiche that had a flakey crust,which I ate.Dont have an idea what my cals were.
 
This holiday sucks so far.There was a crisis with the caregiver of my 82 year old diabetic uncle ( he's got senile dementia as well)My folks are old themselves but had to take him in for now,you cant abandon an old person to a old age facility just before christmas,that would just not be right.Problem is he need constant care and sits and sleep all day and was up all night making a huge racket.I sleep on a sleeper couch in the lounge (folks are in retirement village and mom freaks out if I want to stay somewhere else) so I am TIRED and get very little sleep.I am cleaning like mad as all the domestic servants go on holiday in December which I think is rediculous as they are not believers and dont celebrate christmas,which is a religious holiday as far as Im concerned.
 
Thank goodness I am leaving on Sunday for Cape Town.But then it is the crazy inlaws.Luckely I insisted on staying in a hotel apartment so I will have my own space and can get away when I need to.
 
It is just so sad to see the family getting so old.Even sadder to see how little time working folks have for themselves and others.
 
But the point remains that I cannot allow myself to feel so guilty about my life and feel so bad for them that my only response is eating.Life will be full of challenging situations in the future.My coping skills will have to change if I want to keep my weight down.
 
Will post my weight when I can get to a scale a little later.

Immediately after arriving I realized it will be a battle to get through this week without eating off plan,just because of the way my family eats.
 
My mom and sister have gained a lot of weight since I saw them in July.Sis because she had bilateral foot ops and cannot walk properly and mom because she is so stubborn.She needs knee replacement and Have issues with her foot after a failed surgery.
 
They both know that for them it is the little calorie additions that makes them gain weight.They've never been very fat like I was but they both lost quite a bit of weight with mindful eating.Cutting all the extra unneccessary calories.For instance.
 
When I offered to make tea they all wanted juice.And not little glasses of juice,huge ones.They also joked around about still being hungry after lunch,hauling out a christmas cake and eating huge pieces of it.I know they are a little self concious about trhe fact that I have lost so much weight.But they once again try to make out as if it happens by itself and I am so lucky!
 
Nothing to do with luck.I dont eat the junk they do.Not even in small portions.of course I will eat when we go out but I dont have coke or juice with it and I dont have to have a dessert anymore every time I eat.I NOW CHOOSE WHAT I EAT AND ALMOST FORGOT YESTERDAY that I CAN ALWAYS CHOOSE.
 
Love them but this is not going to be easy.I have to not try and tell them both that they will walk easier if they dont gain in fact lose 20 pounds each.It is not my business and I will not make it mine.I just feel so sorry for them when I see them struggle to walk.
 
Anyhoo,will go shopping for food that is good food and seems a little holiday like,for them as well as myself.Things they dont buy for themselves.They will enjoy that.I cannot feel guilty for being thinner than them either.They make their own choices.But it is the first time in 25 years that they are heavier than me and boy there was a lot of clowining around about it yesterday.Made me feel embarrased and shy again.
 
Well,lets see how this day goes!

Well,178,7 tonight with clothes,heavy pants.This morning it was 177,9 and I decided the scale must be wrong.Weighed just now with all my clothes after a gr8 dinner (a bit carby though) and it was still down.Went inside and decided to strip off the heavy clothes (I always weigh before having a bath after undressing) and low and behold,it is 177.5.
 
Who will ever understand the way we lose?
 
12.5 pounds to goal even though I still seem to have a lot of fat all over.Will get down to 154 where I know I look "not fat" anymore.
 
Now,we actually weigh in kilograms.This means I am 80,7 and the long awaited 70's,just around the corner.This will be a huge huge milestone for me.In 1992 I doubled my body weight in one year.(lots of trauma and depression that followed,coupled with an addiction) I completely missed the 70's and ended up 120kg's before I knew it.I was way too thin at 60kg's and had a BMI of 17 at that point.
 
Now,a BMI of 23 seems perfect to me as I look good at about 72kg's.
 
Boy,I would just love to be under 80 before we go on holiday the 18th.
 
I still cant believe this sleeve works so well and sometimes really wish the sleeve could just stay this size and I could never eat more food,ever again.

I think I've got this thing about "dumping" with the sleeve.
 
Let me explain.I think I've been eating relatively low carb recently.And I say I think as I am not tracking my carbs,just checking my protein intake more or less every day.But I have not had any added carbs this week except green peppers and onions.Tonight I had a bit of TGI friday spinach and artichoke dip with some veal strips.During the day I had some chicken strips and some beef strips.Had 2 Dolchi gusto cappucinos.And then tonight I decided to have some Amarula liqeur.Its like Baileys.
 
I took one sip and bam,I started feeling hot,nauseas,palpitations,feeling like I had to visit the toilet,felt absolutely aweful.Early post op I had a couple of incidents like this when I would eat some sugar or fat for that matter.But lately I would have a cookie if I wanted or ok,I sont really do sugar at all anymore really.The cookie would be it.Mind you I've had some caramel popcorn and I was fine.
 
But I think sometimes my carbs are just not that low and then the added sugar (like in the popcorn) doesnt affect me at all,makes me super tired but thats it.
 
I think when I am quite low carb and busy dropping weight fast,I cannot do sugar or a lot of fat.I think the Amarula like the Baileys have got cream in it and lots of sugar and boy did I feel sick from a tiny sip.I can drink a jin and tonic once in a while and if I sip it slowly and nurse it all night,I am fine.
 
So,sugary drinks,just like anything else sugary is now off limits.Thinking about it,I shouldnt really drink the tonic either as it is carbonated and even if you stir out all the gas,there is still some left.
 
One thing I am sure of.Alcohol will not be a problem in my future as it is as unappealing most of the time as ice cream,and I use to eat a pint of that per night pre-op.
 
You live,you learn.

I think I've got this thing about "dumping" with the sleeve.
 
Let me explain.I think I've been eating relatively low carb recently.And I say I think as I am not tracking my carbs,just checking my protein intake more or less every day.But I have not had any added carbs this week except green peppers and onions.Tonight I had a bit of TGI friday spinach and artichoke dip with some veal strips.During the day I had some chicken strips and some beef strips.Had 2 Dolchi gusto cappucinos.And then tonight I decided to have some Amarula liqeur.Its like Baileys.
 
I took one sip and bam,I started feeling hot,nauseas,palpitations,feeling like I had to visit the toilet,felt absolutely aweful.Early post op I had a couple of incidents like this when I would eat some sugar or fat for that matter.But lately I would have a cookie if I wanted or ok,I sont really do sugar at all anymore really.The cookie would be it.Mind you I've had some caramel popcorn and I was fine.
 
But I think sometimes my carbs are just not that low and then the added sugar (like in the popcorn) doesnt affect me at all,makes me super tired but thats it.
 
I think when I am quite low carb and busy dropping weight fast,I cannot do sugar or a lot of fat.I think the Amarula like the Baileys have got cream in it and lots of sugar and boy did I feel sick from a tiny sip.I can drink a jin and tonic once in a while and if I sip it slowly and nurse it all night,I am fine.
 
So,sugary drinks,just like anything else sugary is now off limits.Thinking about it,I shouldnt really drink the tonic either as it is carbonated and even if you stir out all the gas,there is still some left.
 
One thing I am sure of.Alcohol will not be a problem in my future as it is as unappealing most of the time as ice cream,and I use to eat a pint of that per night pre-op.
 
You live,you learn.

Well,this morning I weigh 175.5 pounds.I am soooo happy.
 
Ive started thinking about a couple of changes I have made over the last month and it must be these that has started speeding up my weight loss.
 
The most important one is I started taking high doses of probiotics.I really couldnt reconsile myslef with the idea of taking stool softners an dlaxatives for the rest of my life.I had to try a few different ones as some gave me heartburn but found one that I dont even think is multi strained it is just acidophylus.2 caps 3 times a day and when I forget during the day 3 and 3 when I remember.i open them and drink the powder with water.My constipation has all but vanished.I also eat more spicy food and whereas my tummy still complains when I do this too often,I think this is helping too.
 
Then,I have stopped using low fat products.I have 2 kids and I know they need fats and wasnt getting it.I have started adding generous portions of olive oil when cooking (dont measure and I use enough) every day.I have also started aming basic dishes like beef and chicken,cut into strips,rolled in flour with some parmesan cheese fried in a little oil.Now I was a bit scared in the beginning of the flour as I use to not add any carbs to my diet for the past few months.But because I dont put egg on the meat before I dip it in my flour mix,just a thin layer of the flour sticks to the meat and chicken,The thing is it is somsoft and tender cooked this way that I just kept on doing it.For the past 2 weeks this,along with wok fried onions and capsicums of all colours (a lot ot these) have been my staple.I have also not limited myself in the amount that I eat and I know I eat way more than 9oz per day.When I am hungry I have a few pieces.The carbs cannot be enough to trigger cravings as I have none.
 
Having said that I have eaten out about 5 times in the past 2 weeks.Thai pumpkin and chicken fritters,Indian curry,roast beef and gorgonzola,ect ect. i of course dont eat much and I am satisfied.
 
I have lost loads of weight just recently and I think the reason is I am satisfied faster because of the fats in the food.It does fill you up fast.I dont have cravings for anything.Added bonus my skin is not dry anymore and my energy levels are up.
 
Just one thing that is not the best thing...I also often drink cappucinos.This darned dolchi gusto machine is just an evil little thing,I cant resist the coffee.I have read just this week where a lady that posted about her 1 year post op said she found early on that caffine makes her lose weight.This is not why I am drinking the coffee though and I have started limiting myself again,some days.
 
Exercise,nothing for the past 10 days.Stupid but thats the way it is with me.I have an irrational fear of losing the weight while exercising way more than what I will be doing for the rest of my life and then regaining when I start doing less exercise again.I havent ever discussed this on here as I know everyone will differ with me about it but this is exactly what happened to me before.I will lose this weight as balanced as I possibly can and anyway,the moment I start running longer distances,this stupid fear really sits in the back of my head all day every day,thats why I stop every time.Crazy,yes,stupid,yes,real,for sure.But I do play squash and go to some pilates reformer classes,which is way less than an hour every day.
 
I am now 5kg's from my dr's goal weight for me and a BMI of 25.Seems unreal to me.

I think I've got this thing about "dumping" with the sleeve.
 
Let me explain.I think I've been eating relatively low carb recently.And I say I think as I am not tracking my carbs,just checking my protein intake more or less every day.But I have not had any added carbs this week except green peppers and onions.Tonight I had a bit of TGI friday spinach and artichoke dip with some veal strips.During the day I had some chicken strips and some beef strips.Had 2 Dolchi gusto cappucinos.And then tonight I decided to have some Amarula liqeur.Its like Baileys.
 
I took one sip and bam,I started feeling hot,nauseas,palpitations,feeling like I had to visit the toilet,felt absolutely aweful.Early post op I had a couple of incidents like this when I would eat some sugar or fat for that matter.But lately I would have a cookie if I wanted or ok,I sont really do sugar at all anymore really.The cookie would be it.Mind you I've had some caramel popcorn and I was fine.
 
But I think sometimes my carbs are just not that low and then the added sugar (like in the popcorn) doesnt affect me at all,makes me super tired but thats it.
 
I think when I am quite low carb and busy dropping weight fast,I cannot do sugar or a lot of fat.I think the Amarula like the Baileys have got cream in it and lots of sugar and boy did I feel sick from a tiny sip.I can drink a jin and tonic once in a while and if I sip it slowly and nurse it all night,I am fine.
 
So,sugary drinks,just like anything else sugary is now off limits.Thinking about it,I shouldnt really drink the tonic either as it is carbonated and even if you stir out all the gas,there is still some left.
 
One thing I am sure of.Alcohol will not be a problem in my future as it is as unappealing most of the time as ice cream,and I use to eat a pint of that per night pre-op.
 
You live,you learn.

I think I've got this thing about "dumping" with the sleeve.
 
Let me explain.I think I've been eating relatively low carb recently.And I say I think as I am not tracking my carbs,just checking my protein intake more or less every day.But I have not had any added carbs this week except green peppers and onions.Tonight I had a bit of TGI friday spinach and artichoke dip with some veal strips.During the day I had some chicken strips and some beef strips.Had 2 Dolchi gusto cappucinos.And then tonight I decided to have some Amarula liqeur.Its like Baileys.
 
I took one sip and bam,I started feeling hot,nauseas,palpitations,feeling like I had to visit the toilet,felt absolutely aweful.Early post op I had a couple of incidents like this when I would eat some sugar or fat for that matter.But lately I would have a cookie if I wanted or ok,I sont really do sugar at all anymore really.The cookie would be it.Mind you I've had some caramel popcorn and I was fine.
 
But I think sometimes my carbs are just not that low and then the added sugar (like in the popcorn) doesnt affect me at all,makes me super tired but thats it.
 
I think when I am quite low carb and busy dropping weight fast,I cannot do sugar or a lot of fat.I think the Amarula like the Baileys have got cream in it and lots of sugar and boy did I feel sick from a tiny sip.I can drink a jin and tonic once in a while and if I sip it slowly and nurse it all night,I am fine.
 
So,sugary drinks,just like anything else sugary is now off limits.Thinking about it,I shouldnt really drink the tonic either as it is carbonated and even if you stir out all the gas,there is still some left.
 
One thing I am sure of.Alcohol will not be a problem in my future as it is as unappealing most of the time as ice cream,and I use to eat a pint of that per night pre-op.
 
You live,you learn.

Well,this morning I weigh 175.5 pounds.I am soooo happy.
 
Ive started thinking about a couple of changes I have made over the last month and it must be these that has started speeding up my weight loss.
 
The most important one is I started taking high doses of probiotics.I really couldnt reconsile myslef with the idea of taking stool softners an dlaxatives for the rest of my life.I had to try a few different ones as some gave me heartburn but found one that I dont even think is multi strained it is just acidophylus.2 caps 3 times a day and when I forget during the day 3 and 3 when I remember.i open them and drink the powder with water.My constipation has all but vanished.I also eat more spicy food and whereas my tummy still complains when I do this too often,I think this is helping too.
 
Then,I have stopped using low fat products.I have 2 kids and I know they need fats and wasnt getting it.I have started adding generous portions of olive oil when cooking (dont measure and I use enough) every day.I have also started aming basic dishes like beef and chicken,cut into strips,rolled in flour with some parmesan cheese fried in a little oil.Now I was a bit scared in the beginning of the flour as I use to not add any carbs to my diet for the past few months.But because I dont put egg on the meat before I dip it in my flour mix,just a thin layer of the flour sticks to the meat and chicken,The thing is it is somsoft and tender cooked this way that I just kept on doing it.For the past 2 weeks this,along with wok fried onions and capsicums of all colours (a lot ot these) have been my staple.I have also not limited myself in the amount that I eat and I know I eat way more than 9oz per day.When I am hungry I have a few pieces.The carbs cannot be enough to trigger cravings as I have none.
 
Having said that I have eaten out about 5 times in the past 2 weeks.Thai pumpkin and chicken fritters,Indian curry,roast beef and gorgonzola,ect ect. i of course dont eat much and I am satisfied.
 
I have lost loads of weight just recently and I think the reason is I am satisfied faster because of the fats in the food.It does fill you up fast.I dont have cravings for anything.Added bonus my skin is not dry anymore and my energy levels are up.
 
Just one thing that is not the best thing...I also often drink cappucinos.This darned dolchi gusto machine is just an evil little thing,I cant resist the coffee.I have read just this week where a lady that posted about her 1 year post op said she found early on that caffine makes her lose weight.This is not why I am drinking the coffee though and I have started limiting myself again,some days.
 
Exercise,nothing for the past 10 days.Stupid but thats the way it is with me.I have an irrational fear of losing the weight while exercising way more than what I will be doing for the rest of my life and then regaining when I start doing less exercise again.I havent ever discussed this on here as I know everyone will differ with me about it but this is exactly what happened to me before.I will lose this weight as balanced as I possibly can and anyway,the moment I start running longer distances,this stupid fear really sits in the back of my head all day every day,thats why I stop every time.Crazy,yes,stupid,yes,real,for sure.But I do play squash and go to some pilates reformer classes,which is way less than an hour every day.
 
I am now 5kg's from my dr's goal weight for me and a BMI of 25.Seems unreal to me.

Well,this morning I weigh 175.5 pounds.I am soooo happy.
 
Ive started thinking about a couple of changes I have made over the last month and it must be these that has started speeding up my weight loss.
 
The most important one is I started taking high doses of probiotics.I really couldnt reconsile myslef with the idea of taking stool softners an dlaxatives for the rest of my life.I had to try a few different ones as some gave me heartburn but found one that I dont even think is multi strained it is just acidophylus.2 caps 3 times a day and when I forget during the day 3 and 3 when I remember.i open them and drink the powder with water.My constipation has all but vanished.I also eat more spicy food and whereas my tummy still complains when I do this too often,I think this is helping too.
 
Then,I have stopped using low fat products.I have 2 kids and I know they need fats and wasnt getting it.I have started adding generous portions of olive oil when cooking (dont measure and I use enough) every day.I have also started aming basic dishes like beef and chicken,cut into strips,rolled in flour with some parmesan cheese fried in a little oil.Now I was a bit scared in the beginning of the flour as I use to not add any carbs to my diet for the past few months.But because I dont put egg on the meat before I dip it in my flour mix,just a thin layer of the flour sticks to the meat and chicken,The thing is it is somsoft and tender cooked this way that I just kept on doing it.For the past 2 weeks this,along with wok fried onions and capsicums of all colours (a lot ot these) have been my staple.I have also not limited myself in the amount that I eat and I know I eat way more than 9oz per day.When I am hungry I have a few pieces.The carbs cannot be enough to trigger cravings as I have none.
 
Having said that I have eaten out about 5 times in the past 2 weeks.Thai pumpkin and chicken fritters,Indian curry,roast beef and gorgonzola,ect ect. i of course dont eat much and I am satisfied.
 
I have lost loads of weight just recently and I think the reason is I am satisfied faster because of the fats in the food.It does fill you up fast.I dont have cravings for anything.Added bonus my skin is not dry anymore and my energy levels are up.
 
Just one thing that is not the best thing...I also often drink cappucinos.This darned dolchi gusto machine is just an evil little thing,I cant resist the coffee.I have read just this week where a lady that posted about her 1 year post op said she found early on that caffine makes her lose weight.This is not why I am drinking the coffee though and I have started limiting myself again,some days.
 
Exercise,nothing for the past 10 days.Stupid but thats the way it is with me.I have an irrational fear of losing the weight while exercising way more than what I will be doing for the rest of my life and then regaining when I start doing less exercise again.I havent ever discussed this on here as I know everyone will differ with me about it but this is exactly what happened to me before.I will lose this weight as balanced as I possibly can and anyway,the moment I start running longer distances,this stupid fear really sits in the back of my head all day every day,thats why I stop every time.Crazy,yes,stupid,yes,real,for sure.But I do play squash and go to some pilates reformer classes,which is way less than an hour every day.
 
I am now 5kg's from my dr's goal weight for me and a BMI of 25.Seems unreal to me.

Well,178,7 tonight with clothes,heavy pants.This morning it was 177,9 and I decided the scale must be wrong.Weighed just now with all my clothes after a gr8 dinner (a bit carby though) and it was still down.Went inside and decided to strip off the heavy clothes (I always weigh before having a bath after undressing) and low and behold,it is 177.5.
 
Who will ever understand the way we lose?
 
12.5 pounds to goal even though I still seem to have a lot of fat all over.Will get down to 154 where I know I look "not fat" anymore.
 
Now,we actually weigh in kilograms.This means I am 80,7 and the long awaited 70's,just around the corner.This will be a huge huge milestone for me.In 1992 I doubled my body weight in one year.(lots of trauma and depression that followed,coupled with an addiction) I completely missed the 70's and ended up 120kg's before I knew it.I was way too thin at 60kg's and had a BMI of 17 at that point.
 
Now,a BMI of 23 seems perfect to me as I look good at about 72kg's.
 
Boy,I would just love to be under 80 before we go on holiday the 18th.
 
I still cant believe this sleeve works so well and sometimes really wish the sleeve could just stay this size and I could never eat more food,ever again.

Well,this morning I weigh 175.5 pounds.I am soooo happy.
 
Ive started thinking about a couple of changes I have made over the last month and it must be these that has started speeding up my weight loss.
 
The most important one is I started taking high doses of probiotics.I really couldnt reconsile myslef with the idea of taking stool softners an dlaxatives for the rest of my life.I had to try a few different ones as some gave me heartburn but found one that I dont even think is multi strained it is just acidophylus.2 caps 3 times a day and when I forget during the day 3 and 3 when I remember.i open them and drink the powder with water.My constipation has all but vanished.I also eat more spicy food and whereas my tummy still complains when I do this too often,I think this is helping too.
 
Then,I have stopped using low fat products.I have 2 kids and I know they need fats and wasnt getting it.I have started adding generous portions of olive oil when cooking (dont measure and I use enough) every day.I have also started aming basic dishes like beef and chicken,cut into strips,rolled in flour with some parmesan cheese fried in a little oil.Now I was a bit scared in the beginning of the flour as I use to not add any carbs to my diet for the past few months.But because I dont put egg on the meat before I dip it in my flour mix,just a thin layer of the flour sticks to the meat and chicken,The thing is it is somsoft and tender cooked this way that I just kept on doing it.For the past 2 weeks this,along with wok fried onions and capsicums of all colours (a lot ot these) have been my staple.I have also not limited myself in the amount that I eat and I know I eat way more than 9oz per day.When I am hungry I have a few pieces.The carbs cannot be enough to trigger cravings as I have none.
 
Having said that I have eaten out about 5 times in the past 2 weeks.Thai pumpkin and chicken fritters,Indian curry,roast beef and gorgonzola,ect ect. i of course dont eat much and I am satisfied.
 
I have lost loads of weight just recently and I think the reason is I am satisfied faster because of the fats in the food.It does fill you up fast.I dont have cravings for anything.Added bonus my skin is not dry anymore and my energy levels are up.
 
Just one thing that is not the best thing...I also often drink cappucinos.This darned dolchi gusto machine is just an evil little thing,I cant resist the coffee.I have read just this week where a lady that posted about her 1 year post op said she found early on that caffine makes her lose weight.This is not why I am drinking the coffee though and I have started limiting myself again,some days.
 
Exercise,nothing for the past 10 days.Stupid but thats the way it is with me.I have an irrational fear of losing the weight while exercising way more than what I will be doing for the rest of my life and then regaining when I start doing less exercise again.I havent ever discussed this on here as I know everyone will differ with me about it but this is exactly what happened to me before.I will lose this weight as balanced as I possibly can and anyway,the moment I start running longer distances,this stupid fear really sits in the back of my head all day every day,thats why I stop every time.Crazy,yes,stupid,yes,real,for sure.But I do play squash and go to some pilates reformer classes,which is way less than an hour every day.
 
I am now 5kg's from my dr's goal weight for me and a BMI of 25.Seems unreal to me.

Well,this morning I weigh 175.5 pounds.I am soooo happy.
 
Ive started thinking about a couple of changes I have made over the last month and it must be these that has started speeding up my weight loss.
 
The most important one is I started taking high doses of probiotics.I really couldnt reconsile myslef with the idea of taking stool softners an dlaxatives for the rest of my life.I had to try a few different ones as some gave me heartburn but found one that I dont even think is multi strained it is just acidophylus.2 caps 3 times a day and when I forget during the day 3 and 3 when I remember.i open them and drink the powder with water.My constipation has all but vanished.I also eat more spicy food and whereas my tummy still complains when I do this too often,I think this is helping too.
 
Then,I have stopped using low fat products.I have 2 kids and I know they need fats and wasnt getting it.I have started adding generous portions of olive oil when cooking (dont measure and I use enough) every day.I have also started aming basic dishes like beef and chicken,cut into strips,rolled in flour with some parmesan cheese fried in a little oil.Now I was a bit scared in the beginning of the flour as I use to not add any carbs to my diet for the past few months.But because I dont put egg on the meat before I dip it in my flour mix,just a thin layer of the flour sticks to the meat and chicken,The thing is it is somsoft and tender cooked this way that I just kept on doing it.For the past 2 weeks this,along with wok fried onions and capsicums of all colours (a lot ot these) have been my staple.I have also not limited myself in the amount that I eat and I know I eat way more than 9oz per day.When I am hungry I have a few pieces.The carbs cannot be enough to trigger cravings as I have none.
 
Having said that I have eaten out about 5 times in the past 2 weeks.Thai pumpkin and chicken fritters,Indian curry,roast beef and gorgonzola,ect ect. i of course dont eat much and I am satisfied.
 
I have lost loads of weight just recently and I think the reason is I am satisfied faster because of the fats in the food.It does fill you up fast.I dont have cravings for anything.Added bonus my skin is not dry anymore and my energy levels are up.
 
Just one thing that is not the best thing...I also often drink cappucinos.This darned dolchi gusto machine is just an evil little thing,I cant resist the coffee.I have read just this week where a lady that posted about her 1 year post op said she found early on that caffine makes her lose weight.This is not why I am drinking the coffee though and I have started limiting myself again,some days.
 
Exercise,nothing for the past 10 days.Stupid but thats the way it is with me.I have an irrational fear of losing the weight while exercising way more than what I will be doing for the rest of my life and then regaining when I start doing less exercise again.I havent ever discussed this on here as I know everyone will differ with me about it but this is exactly what happened to me before.I will lose this weight as balanced as I possibly can and anyway,the moment I start running longer distances,this stupid fear really sits in the back of my head all day every day,thats why I stop every time.Crazy,yes,stupid,yes,real,for sure.But I do play squash and go to some pilates reformer classes,which is way less than an hour every day.
 
I am now 5kg's from my dr's goal weight for me and a BMI of 25.Seems unreal to me.

The moment I say my hair is not falling out anymore,hands full come out.
 
The moment I say eating is now stress free and easy,I have a bad day...lol
 
Today was a bad day and counting the caramel popcorn I had at the movies (went to distract myself,ok,not...to eat popcorn) my calories was about 1500 for the day I believe.Wont know as I dcided not to track today.
 
That was at lunch time and of course it did trigger a worm in my head.For dinner I tried to be good,had 3oz of turkey breast and capsicum but an hour later I found some chicken livers my housekeeper had made with perri-peri and onions and I ate about another 3oz of that.Then I was on a roll.But,I stopped myself and have had 3 huge cups of tea with milk since then.
 
Funny thing is Stress really gets to me these days where as before the surgery I was tough.Really tough.My kids nearly fainted when they saw me cry a month or so after surgery as I am not,or was not,the crying type,ever!
 
I live thousands of miles from my family and when things go wrong there with one of them I feel so isolated and powerless.but what bugs me more is that I have physical symptoms that I can only think is stress.I am not sick but have a huge fever blister on my lip.My back and face for that matter have broken out in acne-like pimples...I look like a teenager at the moment.
 
Of course before we go home we always groom ourselves a lot and pretend we always look like this...hehehe.This time though,I am full of pimples,a fever blister,my nails are as short as they've ever been so no nice french manicure and my bras just dont fit.I am now a size 38 C cup but the problem is with a C cup the bit under the arm is too narrow to hide the jelly bits on the side of the boobs and under the arm so I either have to wear a bra that is floppy in the cup or one which makes the jelly bits show.I have gone out and bought an insame amount of clothes just because I am stressed about everyone seeing me for the first time.Stupid isnt it?
 
I have also developed this crazy pain between my shoulder blades and I am sure it is because my boobs are hanging the way they do.My little kid tells me my back looks like a moon so I've been looking for those posture support thingies.Problem is "due to higene issues madam" one cannot fit them and I dont have a clue which size I should buy.Also"due to higene issues madam" you are not allowed to return it.
 
Tomorrow I will smell the roses.My little kid is coming back from camp (was a little lost without her) and my friend from Perth is coming for a quick visit.I have taken control of my overly busy schedule.Have dumped the project of bringing a couple of guys that are on the streets in Brazil since been released from prison back to SA before christmas on someone elses shoulders (I will still donate the tickets) and the women I look after here in prison will have to wait till monday for a visit.
 
I also suppose I shouldnt use this blog as a sound board but should start up a diary again...lol.However,I do plan on reading this in the future when I struggle and posting some stressors on here now might help me handle future stressors and eating issues that might go with that.I will then have no excuses as this have been a super stressful year and people often say,life happened and I started regaining because of stress,yada,yada,yada! No excuses ok? No regains! No slipping back into bad habits because of life.Life is happening now too and one bad day will not kill me as long as I take control again the next day.
 
Should try and sleep more though as it is one thing I am not controlling very well.I almost never get to bed before 2:00am and that is bad for the weight loss.So,gallas,going to bed now.

179.7 pounds this morning.
 
Eating off plan once every 2 weeks seems to help every now and then.When I was on Atikins if I stalled I would have a plate of spagetti bolognese and voila,the weight would drop.Should just be back on plan immediately the next day though.
 
Happy me!!!!

The moment I say my hair is not falling out anymore,hands full come out.
 
The moment I say eating is now stress free and easy,I have a bad day...lol
 
Today was a bad day and counting the caramel popcorn I had at the movies (went to distract myself,ok,not...to eat popcorn) my calories was about 1500 for the day I believe.Wont know as I dcided not to track today.
 
That was at lunch time and of course it did trigger a worm in my head.For dinner I tried to be good,had 3oz of turkey breast and capsicum but an hour later I found some chicken livers my housekeeper had made with perri-peri and onions and I ate about another 3oz of that.Then I was on a roll.But,I stopped myself and have had 3 huge cups of tea with milk since then.
 
Funny thing is Stress really gets to me these days where as before the surgery I was tough.Really tough.My kids nearly fainted when they saw me cry a month or so after surgery as I am not,or was not,the crying type,ever!
 
I live thousands of miles from my family and when things go wrong there with one of them I feel so isolated and powerless.but what bugs me more is that I have physical symptoms that I can only think is stress.I am not sick but have a huge fever blister on my lip.My back and face for that matter have broken out in acne-like pimples...I look like a teenager at the moment.
 
Of course before we go home we always groom ourselves a lot and pretend we always look like this...hehehe.This time though,I am full of pimples,a fever blister,my nails are as short as they've ever been so no nice french manicure and my bras just dont fit.I am now a size 38 C cup but the problem is with a C cup the bit under the arm is too narrow to hide the jelly bits on the side of the boobs and under the arm so I either have to wear a bra that is floppy in the cup or one which makes the jelly bits show.I have gone out and bought an insame amount of clothes just because I am stressed about everyone seeing me for the first time.Stupid isnt it?
 
I have also developed this crazy pain between my shoulder blades and I am sure it is because my boobs are hanging the way they do.My little kid tells me my back looks like a moon so I've been looking for those posture support thingies.Problem is "due to higene issues madam" one cannot fit them and I dont have a clue which size I should buy.Also"due to higene issues madam" you are not allowed to return it.
 
Tomorrow I will smell the roses.My little kid is coming back from camp (was a little lost without her) and my friend from Perth is coming for a quick visit.I have taken control of my overly busy schedule.Have dumped the project of bringing a couple of guys that are on the streets in Brazil since been released from prison back to SA before christmas on someone elses shoulders (I will still donate the tickets) and the women I look after here in prison will have to wait till monday for a visit.
 
I also suppose I shouldnt use this blog as a sound board but should start up a diary again...lol.However,I do plan on reading this in the future when I struggle and posting some stressors on here now might help me handle future stressors and eating issues that might go with that.I will then have no excuses as this have been a super stressful year and people often say,life happened and I started regaining because of stress,yada,yada,yada! No excuses ok? No regains! No slipping back into bad habits because of life.Life is happening now too and one bad day will not kill me as long as I take control again the next day.
 
Should try and sleep more though as it is one thing I am not controlling very well.I almost never get to bed before 2:00am and that is bad for the weight loss.So,gallas,going to bed now.

Today I was 181.2 pounds.
 
The holiday starts next tuesday when we fly home.I am super excited as my family havent seen me since July and I have lost a lot since then.now I weigh less than both my mommy and my sister and they dont like this much at all.Will not talk much about weight loss and try to put the focus on them (in July I tried to put them on diet...lol)
 
The kind of foods I eat changes about every 2 weeks.It seems I get something I really enjoy,eat it almost every day for 2 weeks and then get tired and move to something different.I should just list the old favourites so I can start cooking something different that I like every day.It seems like I forget what I use to eat and liked very quickly..lolIt looks like someone else might be using your account
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I will take some protein shake for pancakes and some syrup with on holiday.Thank goodness Woolies have some great pre prepared protein that has no added carbs like chicken,meatballs,little kebab scewers ect ect.I will live on it and the abundance of great seafood.
 
I now wear a size 12 top and 14 bottom.It also seems that I will end up smaller than a 12 which I find unbelievable.
 
At the moment I have become quite shy and am way to easily embarrassed when people make a big fuss about my weight loss.And boy,some people have no end and selective amnesia,or they just dont really see me as week after week at church the same people act so surprized about my size and make a scene infront of others.But I shouldnt complain,people are just people.I do avoid some social situations sometimes as a lot of my very overweight friends are so uncomfortable (shame,they act guilty and start talking about their weight and plan when they will diet) that it makes me sad for them.
 
I use to be very outspoken and critical of people that said they'd made new friends and left behind old ones after surgery.The old friends were the ones that loved you and cared about you when you were fat right?But I am starting to understand this now a little better.How long do I expose myself to people that are not spontaneous in my company anymore?How long do I act as if their comments about living long for their kids so they will never do this surgery (they are overweight,joint issues,back ache,high blood pressure ect ect..how wiil they live longer?) dont slightly annoy me?How long do I have to make jokes at my own expense (ah,dont worry I am thin now but when I lift my arm my batwing knocks me unconcious..hehe,not so funny anymore)(ugg,its true,I need boob lift,arm lift,body lift,thigh lift and maybe face and eyelid lift)
 
So,I do think in this wonderful trancient society that I live in,some new friends that dont know that I was ever that big,is on the new years resolution list.Just some people with whom I can relax and be myself.Will still see and love the old ones but they better get over themselves pronto as I am proud of the fact that my sacrificing my stomach and all my hard work after hat has paid off,and one of these days I will have the confidence to say so.In the meantime I am trying to be patient and loving and kind to them.
 
Ok,now for the next 5 pounds,fast..lol
 
 
 
 

Since I've stepped up the exercise again I am stalled and I want more food.I dont know if I am hungry but somehow I want to eat more often.
 
Tonight the grils made Indian food.Popadoms and kadhai chicken.i had to eat some.I did not eat the chapati or rice but I had 2 popadoms and about 3oz of the chicken.It is super spicy so I had some fatfree cream fresh with it.The only thing about Indian food is they use a lot of oil.But I dont think I ate too much as I am not too full,just full.
 
See,this freaks me out about where I am at with the eating at the moment.I still eat like a bird but now I also lose weight like a bird,ounces instead of pounds at a time...lol
 
Maybe I should quit worrying about losing more in the next few weeks and focus on eating to not gain as we are going abroad for christmas and maintaining during the holiday is super important to me.
 
Anyway,183.3 is ok but boy would I have loved it to be under 180 before we leave on the 18th.I just dont know what to do to get there in 2 weeks.
 
Ugg,how do I speed up the weight loss?If I had to go by calories in calories out I would lose 1 pound every 3 days but it just isnt the way it works.