desertmom

Hi, My surgery was 13 March 2012 at a start weight of 297 and I am 173 now and still losing even while enjoying our holiday abroad.This sleeve really rocks once you know how to really work it. My first 6 months wasnt the easiets because I struggled with head hunger a lot.I have been in a diet and binge cycle for 22 years before the sleeve and completely obsessed with myself and with food.My fear of failure and success with the sleeve was huge! I posted something on my blog here at about 5 months and a woman came back and wrote that I should get a life.Boy,were my feelings hurt but it really made me think.Maybe it was time to just be honest with myself,even though that seemed to be the hardest thing to do.To really start understanding that the success or failure was in my hands,and mouth..lol.What did I really want?I was forced to let go of my all or nothing way of living my life. To really embrace the success and to accept when I fail.To not fall off the wagon but to climb off it and back on it by choice sometimes.To just be kind to myself but not to make excuses for my behaviour.It really is a process and it takes time and patience with myself.BUT NO SELF CONDEMNATION anymore. The scale sometimes make me smile now especially when I've been earing badly and still praying for a miracle loss...lol.I've cried more this year than ever before,sometimes hating the fact that I couldnt eat my emotions anymore but thanking the Lord for it every day at the same time.I've also lauged at myself more than ever before because boy,can I be stubborn and obstenate sometimes. I really mean it when I say if I could do this anyone can.ONE day at a time,one meal at a time actually.If I eat a rusk for Breakfast I will eat chicken only for lunch.Just a balance and persistance.This is a very humbling process and a very satisfying one. Good luck to all of you and I would love to read your stories of your journeys of self discovery as the weight drops off.

Hi A lot of us found ourselves in that position at about 5 months.I had a 7 week stall and I suppose I might have been eating too much. But this is the time to re evaluate your life,once again.Decide how much do you want to be thin?And then work out a plan that works for you.I had to realize a few things at that point. 1.no one can do this for me.In fact,no one can really even help me,its time for me to help me. 2.If I fail to plan I plan to fail.You have to plan food and calories. 3.I had to lower my carbs to start losing again.Started with low carb for a week,a few higher carb days,back to low carb again. 4.I could use all the old excuses I have always had or I could take responsibility for my life.If I did what I did before,I would have the same results than before. Personally I really really wanted to get skinny.I was really really honest with myself for the first time ever and I did take responsibility for my eating from that point onwards.Its hard,but nothing that is worth it in life comes the easy way.We have to work hard to reach our goals. One more thing.I had to reaffirm what I wanted for my futer all the time.Reminded myself all the time.Every time I wanted to eat something I shouldnt I asked myself if this is helping or hindering my goals.What was the goal and why did I have it? In fact I still have to do that all the time and my eating is not perfect at all.But I am now at 9,5 months just about 9 pounds from goal and it is sooooo worth all the hard work. Good luck in your journey.If I can do this,anyone can!(I have zero will power and I love love love food!)

Today I weighed 173 pounds. At the moment I think my proteins are too low but its just because Ive been too busy to think of food. Ive also added carbs back into my food but that means 3 french fries or a fishcake that has some potato in it.Or one home made South African rusk with my morning coffee. When you eat on the run or when you are staying at someone elses house you sometimes just have to go with the flow or stay without food. On sunday we are going to Cape Town for Christmas and new year and I will start doing one protein shake per day just to not bottom out with the proteins. At 9,5 months out I think that if I was eating too much or stuff that was very wrong I might have started gaining.It seems to me trying to find that balance is really important and whereas a lot of people stay super low carb or very in control about what they eat,I want to believe that a balance might just do it for me for now.and this do seem to be a day by day process,for the rest of my life.

Its so stupid how being at my parents house and seeing them so old and frail can trigger me into some serious emotional eating. Of course we cant eat a lot but I actually grazed yesterday for the first time since surgery. Had protein meals,that was fine but I ate the following that I shouldnt have: Crisps-about 10,a slither of milktart,twice!10 mini crackers with a pate on it and not little bit of pate,a lot. A piece of quiche that had a flakey crust,which I ate.Dont have an idea what my cals were. This holiday sucks so far.There was a crisis with the caregiver of my 82 year old diabetic uncle ( he's got senile dementia as well)My folks are old themselves but had to take him in for now,you cant abandon an old person to a old age facility just before christmas,that would just not be right.Problem is he need constant care and sits and sleep all day and was up all night making a huge racket.I sleep on a sleeper couch in the lounge (folks are in retirement village and mom freaks out if I want to stay somewhere else) so I am TIRED and get very little sleep.I am cleaning like mad as all the domestic servants go on holiday in December which I think is rediculous as they are not believers and dont celebrate christmas,which is a religious holiday as far as Im concerned. Thank goodness I am leaving on Sunday for Cape Town.But then it is the crazy inlaws.Luckely I insisted on staying in a hotel apartment so I will have my own space and can get away when I need to. It is just so sad to see the family getting so old.Even sadder to see how little time working folks have for themselves and others. But the point remains that I cannot allow myself to feel so guilty about my life and feel so bad for them that my only response is eating.Life will be full of challenging situations in the future.My coping skills will have to change if I want to keep my weight down. Will post my weight when I can get to a scale a little later.

Immediately after arriving I realized it will be a battle to get through this week without eating off plan,just because of the way my family eats. My mom and sister have gained a lot of weight since I saw them in July.Sis because she had bilateral foot ops and cannot walk properly and mom because she is so stubborn.She needs knee replacement and Have issues with her foot after a failed surgery. They both know that for them it is the little calorie additions that makes them gain weight.They've never been very fat like I was but they both lost quite a bit of weight with mindful eating.Cutting all the extra unneccessary calories.For instance. When I offered to make tea they all wanted juice.And not little glasses of juice,huge ones.They also joked around about still being hungry after lunch,hauling out a christmas cake and eating huge pieces of it.I know they are a little self concious about trhe fact that I have lost so much weight.But they once again try to make out as if it happens by itself and I am so lucky! Nothing to do with luck.I dont eat the junk they do.Not even in small portions.of course I will eat when we go out but I dont have coke or juice with it and I dont have to have a dessert anymore every time I eat.I NOW CHOOSE WHAT I EAT AND ALMOST FORGOT YESTERDAY that I CAN ALWAYS CHOOSE. Love them but this is not going to be easy.I have to not try and tell them both that they will walk easier if they dont gain in fact lose 20 pounds each.It is not my business and I will not make it mine.I just feel so sorry for them when I see them struggle to walk. Anyhoo,will go shopping for food that is good food and seems a little holiday like,for them as well as myself.Things they dont buy for themselves.They will enjoy that.I cannot feel guilty for being thinner than them either.They make their own choices.But it is the first time in 25 years that they are heavier than me and boy there was a lot of clowining around about it yesterday.Made me feel embarrased and shy again. Well,lets see how this day goes!

GraceAbounds,hi I think its the fact that I dont ever eat stuff like that now.I know for a fact that I cannot eat chips.And I know I didnt chew well enough.Having said all that when I eat carbs with protein I also tend ot eat too much. Off to go do some food shopping today which will help.Woolies here have loads of low cal pre prepared protein sources like chicken fillets.A great go to when I know others a re eating wrong stuff.

I suppose being up for longer than 36 hours is not very helpful when making food choices. I had half a crossant on the plane.Then a piece of chicken for lunch (good girl) but for dinner they were having fish and chips and I had about 7 chips and a too big piece of fish.I dont slime or anything.I start getting pain and then the food just keeps coming back up in my mouth. This should be a lesson today.I need to be aware and not make stupid choices I will regret later. Tomorrow,I will just have a carb free day.Will go and buy some chicken and smeat balls and satay kebabs that I can just keep on hand to eat when I need to. Will update i. The afternoons to keep me accountable.

Hi Yip,did the same to myself for quite a few months.During a 7 week stall I realized how depressed I was getting and had to step away from the scale. Since thenI am much more relaxed about it and I forget to weigh sometimes for quite a few days. You will lose weight if you follow the rules.Dont let the evil scale spoil the ride. Maybe try to skip every second day for a couple of days,then every 3 days until you get to once a week.

Hi Early post op I felt like that.Had to learn to distract myself.Cooking programs on the tv didnt do that..lol I have also learnt the great value of 10 cal sugarfree popcicles.Some nights I would have 5 in the first couple of months. Now, I get it and I say whatever to my head as I really like my slimmer body way to much to give in to the head. Find something to keep your hands busy.Do exercise.Walk,drink tea or CL. Good luck and it does get better!

Hi I do really well between 30 and 50 per day.

This afternoon I weigh 174. We are checked in online and will now pack.Flying out tonight. This holiday I will try my best to not let emotional issues with family get to me.I do not want to gain weight and I am going to try my hardest to be controlled in my eating.The skin on my arms really but me and I have become super self concious about this.Its summer and a sea holiday with family that I havent seen for a long time.They are all thin and have always been very critical of each other and of me.I will not let this upset me and will be kind and gentle (I do believe in miracles..lol) and will get myself a rash vest and broad shorts and pretend Im a surfer with my little kid...hehehehe! My dr's goal is only 9 pounds away and I am super excited about this. Never been to goal since the age of 23 and that is way too long ago to even remember!

You know,as long as you understand why the rest dont make it to goal.It is possible for everyone to make goal.The thing is very often after losing the bulk of what they have to,people just dont seem to care to much about the last 10 or 15 pounds. It gets a lot more difficult to lose the last 10-15 and people very often are very happy and satisfied with the way they look.Life happens,the surgery gets "old" and they dont try for goal. A BMI of 25 is not an absolute but more or less what one should weigh.Dr's however will go by the 25 BMI goal (mostly) and if you dont get there you become part of the stats of the "not reached goal".

Then you have restriction. You need to plan your meals and weigh your food.This is how most people that loses a lot of weight does it. There is no ther way really as most of us will eat too much if we dont measure our food portions. Dilatation is usually just at the top where the food enters the stomach. Good luck.

Yes,I also find goals like that sets us up to feel like failures when we dont stay right on target.At 4 months out I had to set new,smaller goals for myself.At 6.5 months out I said whatever to those and then I started relaxing and going with the flow as far as the scale's concerned. Having said that,i've lost 122.5 in 9 months but I was heavier to start with (I am also more than double your age though and not a consistent exercizer) It comes off fast sometimes,slow sometimes,not at all sometimes and you have to be able to keep your head positive and in the game at all times.(hehehe,not like me that freaked out like mad about the first 3 stalls I had) It will come off in the end though if you follow your food plan and work out consistently. Good luck and dont mind their goals too much.

Debiosbo,I think part of the issue was my volume of food at the moment is super small again.My stomach might have been empty after dinner.I am losing weight really fast right now,dont really have an appetite,just care about the proteins. What surprized me though was that it happened as soon as the amarula hit my stomach.Immediately I could feel something was wrong.I walked around with the glass in my hand for a while,not wanting to turf it,but never even took a second sip. In July while on holiday we had some of the same atuff quite a few times.And I've had a couple of pina quiladas on our qeekend breaks,lots of sugar in coconut milk.And I was fine then.It just seems to have no pattern to it but it is not a bad thing.Will keep me away from the sugar and ice cream when going to SA next week (its summer there and quite hot) Sounds like I drink a lot which I really dont.i think I have mentioned every drink I've had in the past 5 months in these posts..lol.We have a drink maybe once a week,sometimes not!

I think I've got this thing about "dumping" with the sleeve. Let me explain.I think I've been eating relatively low carb recently.And I say I think as I am not tracking my carbs,just checking my protein intake more or less every day.But I have not had any added carbs this week except green peppers and onions.Tonight I had a bit of TGI friday spinach and artichoke dip with some veal strips.During the day I had some chicken strips and some beef strips.Had 2 Dolchi gusto cappucinos.And then tonight I decided to have some Amarula liqeur.Its like Baileys. I took one sip and bam,I started feeling hot,nauseas,palpitations,feeling like I had to visit the toilet,felt absolutely aweful.Early post op I had a couple of incidents like this when I would eat some sugar or fat for that matter.But lately I would have a cookie if I wanted or ok,I sont really do sugar at all anymore really.The cookie would be it.Mind you I've had some caramel popcorn and I was fine. But I think sometimes my carbs are just not that low and then the added sugar (like in the popcorn) doesnt affect me at all,makes me super tired but thats it. I think when I am quite low carb and busy dropping weight fast,I cannot do sugar or a lot of fat.I think the Amarula like the Baileys have got cream in it and lots of sugar and boy did I feel sick from a tiny sip.I can drink a jin and tonic once in a while and if I sip it slowly and nurse it all night,I am fine. So,sugary drinks,just like anything else sugary is now off limits.Thinking about it,I shouldnt really drink the tonic either as it is carbonated and even if you stir out all the gas,there is still some left. One thing I am sure of.Alcohol will not be a problem in my future as it is as unappealing most of the time as ice cream,and I use to eat a pint of that per night pre-op. You live,you learn.

Relax,everything should be fine!Pre natal vits wont hurt but a weeks wait wont harm. Congratulations on goal and the pregnancy!

Listen,your doctor should be with me in the toilet right now and he will know that we do dump..lol I am fine with all foods and milk,in fact I use a lot of milk every day.Dont do any acid forming food thoug except the coffee. Go read the symptoms of dumping...I had every single one and the runnt tummy and nausea is stiil happening.I posted this about 20 minutes after my little mistake (sip) and thought is was over. Too many people report incidents like this.What should we call it?Sorry if I sound a bit crabby,not feeling too well and the dr's just think they know everything.

Where as at 5'8 my BMI at 25 is 164 pounds and I still look plump when I weigh that much.In fact,I am 10 pounds from that and I still look like I have a lot of fat and my body composition says I still have 36% bodyfat....way more than 10 pounds worth.. This is interesting!

Ugg,I should start exercizing again!

A therapist is a great Idea!

But anorexia is just the absense of hunger and loss of appetite. But dont some of us need a bit of anorexia (not anorexia nervosa) in order for us to lose weight and stay slim? I certainly get hungry later in the day.I just get to a point where,no matter what Im busy with,I get really crabby if I dont get food.My kids laugh about it when I start saying,I've got to eat,now! I never experienced this before and my 21 year old that is 4'11 and weighs 80 pounds have always been like that.4 bites or so and both her and myself are now satisfied.I am now 9 months out and almost at goal and I just wish it could stay like this forever. You will see,this is an absolute great feeling to not desire or think about food all the time!

Maybe,but I lost a load of weight two years ago by healthy eating and exercising like a maniac and I had very little lose skin on my legs and arms.My butt also didnt sag at all.I didnt exercise much (play squash) no toning this time and I look like a sharpei dog..lolI have all these smaller skinfolds and the sagging is unbelievable.Exercise while losing makes a huge difference.

O,be happy! And exercise! The only downside,and only for some,will be that the skin cant keep up and there might be a bit more flabby skin.So,tone,tone,tone! And enjoy!

Hi I didnt know that a lot of my fears would just disappear.I look at the skidivers and think that would be nice.I want to constantly do stuff I havent in 25 years (I exhaust my family) But,I didnt know I would become so shy.All the attention really gets to me and I become quite embarrassed when people make a big scene about my weightloss,especially when there is a lot of people around.I also didnt expect my overweight friends to become so uncomfortable around me.I hope this will pass. And I didnt know I would be so stressed about seeing my family for the first time after a 120 pound weight loss.I shopped up a storm for the holiday just about 10 days ago and dropped 12 pounds in the last 10 days ( dont know why so fast) and now some of the new clothes I bought washed and packed are way to big.Brand new,never warn.Will have to shop again this weekend,o and I love shopping way to much now. I didnt know that the housekeeper would keep putting my clothes in my teeny tiny housemate and my oldest daughters closets.I am constantly looking for stuff.She told me this week that Its the same size than some of the other's clothes. One of the craziest things.I never in a lifetime thought I would worry about losing too much fat as they need some to do sculpting with when I go for plastics.hehehe,who would have thought?