desertmom

Hi Just a different take on this.Of course he will be threatened by you getting skinny.It is kind of safe to have a fat partner,especially if he is overweight himself.This is normal reaction for some that are overweight. You have to remember you are highly motivated to make changes,you are going to have surgery.He is not as it is not "his thing" but yours.We are often enablers in our partners bad habits weather it is eating or whatever else. What Im trying to say is you have to also try and see it from a partners point of view,an overweight partner.Ease them into healthy eating by cooking healthy.Empty a drawer or a hiding place for him to keep his junk.Be gentle about this as no one is right or wrong now,it is just a challenging new situation and every person might handle it different. My housemate lost 30 pounds,started even before I had surgery,just because of the fear of being the overweight one eventually. This is a road that you have chosen for yourself,you will find in the end no one can really help us and support is not going to mean everyone in your house now do what you do and be how you are.He will find his own way to deal with it.Just be nice.Be reassuring.Cook tasty healthy meals,dont expect him to eat less.And as for the junk,just try to not make a big issue out of it.He might ease off on it if you just dont overreact to things now. Remember,you love this man and he loves you.You want to deal with this in a peaceful way.Try and pull him into your new life gently and reassuringly and do not tell him what to do.He is a man.Use your womanly ways to get him in your healthy corner,he just needs to think the changes he makes eventually WAS HIS OWN IDEA!...lol Difficult really but come on,us girls mostly get what we want,how we want it, if we just go about it the right way! My family went about their lives and eating as always and I just had to cook it and buy it.hehehe,they did start helping with the shopping when I started buying so much food that an army couldnt finish it ever,I was hungry man,shopping helped. Good luck and it will make you stronger in this process if you can just understand that most people who didnt have the surgery will never really get it,how little we can eat,what we eat,that we desire food,that it is soooo hard sometimes.Give him time,just back off from him about the surgery a little.He will process it in his own good time. Share your excitement with us on the forum,it helps.

Great attitude! Things will happen when they are suppose to happen! Enjoy eating normally for now.

Bryan,honestly,it never took me that long to eat anything. I eat at a pretty normal rate.Always have.And if I eat way to fast,which I sometimes do,the sleeve lets me know. My surgeon told me after my surgery that my capacity might seem more than some of my friends that had the surgery and the reason is my stomach is longer than theirs.I am tall and didnt know this could make a difference.He said some have shorter stomachs and some longer ones. I am 7,5 months out,on holiday at the moment and this morning had a great Breakfast.I decided to add a piece of flat bread and I realized again that if I add carbs I can actually eat way more than I think.But my weight loss also stalls completely when I do that. What I am trying to say is when we have a lot of weight to lose we need all the help we can get from the surgery as it does not work by itself and if you can eat too much,you most propably will,like most of us. Start reading regain posts as well as longer post hunger posts.Also read anything you can find on struggling to reach goal posts. It is really only for the first 5 months that eating is really a bit different.After that you are just eating a lot less.I am always finished wifh my family and they are not slow eaters.For me it is not about how long I eat but when I am full and mostly it takes just 10 minutes unless I put my fork down between bites.Which I do when I eat with anyone. Another thing,your eating habits will have to change quite drastically to lose and to keep the weight off and with a nice tight sleeve,it will have to. Some things are very individual with the sleeve but some things are very standard.We need real restriction to lose the weight. My opinion and others may differ...the individual part...lol I had much the same thought than you and I was a binge eater myself.Now as it becomes increasingly difficult to lose,I wish my sleeve was even smaller.There is also a time after surgery that some have said their capacity to eat have increased.So you will be able to eat.It is not as bad as we sometimes make it sound like.

My 4 bites are usually finished before its cold and the food I now eat it is unappetizing to any normal person.My high fibre Protein and eggwhite pancakes makes my kids cringe! I just wish I didnt feel like eating as I always do even though food still doesnt taste the same and I am still looking for that "something nice" almost 8 months later.

Money is not really an issue at all.I think I thought of the cost of it as I didnt want my family to have all that nice food either...lol. A bit of a rebellious thing in me sometimes,and a bit childish..hehe! The wonderful thing is my kids (20 and 11) are skinny and have gr8 habits.They looked at the buffet,said there was way too much food and ordered themselves something quite small in my opinion,off the a la carte menu. I can surely learn from them!

We are staying in this fabulous 5 star resort.Got bumped up to a Grand Suite! To fancy or words I say! My family wants to go to this fabulous international buffet now and I somehow dread this. When will this get easier for me? FYI,I had half a glass of red wine and of course my inhibition slightly reduced thus my lust for food, but thank goodness my sleeve is faithfull. Just saying.

Look at your BMI.If it goes under 20 then you are getting to thin.Another thing you can do is go do a body composition,get the printout and believe the numbers with your head. We are sometimes very critical of ourselves and our eyes just dont see what other people see when they look at us.That takes a long time I believe. Think with your head about this,not your emosions and not your own eyes.If needed up your calories and the weight loss should stop.

Well,we went out and I said "I'm going to have the buffet tonight". They all very politely nodded their heads. Then I said "wait,I need time to decide.Please get me a cappuchino and give me a few minutes".at that point I just moved to the soft seating area and sat there,sipped my coffee,enjoyed the ambiance and voila,the rebellion was gone. Went back and asked my kids that took food off the a la carte menu to just give me a bite each and I finished it off with a teeny tiny bit of a coffee pudding.I harly had 3 bites in total but I really wasnt actually hungry,just wanted to eat because I wanted to...lol The crazy thing is I really had 3 teeny tiny bites,a teaspoon of hummus,a little bite of the coffee thingy and I was satisfied.Instead of ordering a buggy to and from the restaurant we walked so we even had some exercise. I am enjoying my surroundings and tomorrow I might have a cocktail at the pool bar,just because I want to and because I know everything will be fine foodwize if I can just take a few minutes to reason with myself about this feeling that I every now and then get,missing being able to just eat mindlessly. This is my first hotel stay post op and I started worrying about it earlier in the week already.But it is all good and best of all I look so much better and feel so much better.

And climb over it you will.It is so worth it!

Oh,and all I can really think of is what a waste of money this is on me.They all find me so "cheap" and boring these days....lol

Hehehe...yes!My weight bounced up this week after a great stair step 12 pound loss and last night I just couldnt resist the mash potatoes.Well,this morning it is down 2 pounds again. My new motto is 6 days of very low carbs one night of mashed potatoes...lol Try something different!

Hi,but lets face it,when we were the safe friend they were the pretty ones! Some of my closest friends were often the most beautiful girl in any room at any time.I often wondered why they would be such good friends with me,didnt fit in with their picture.Sadly,most of them are not around anymore and that is ok.But my 2 best friends got over themselves and are super supportive. You rock girl!

You shouldnt struggle too much if you get the sf popcicles made with splenda,2 carbs each,10 cals.I have 3 of those every night as my treat. And start now.Why wait for tomorrow?What we eat is a momentary choice,just to be made for this meal or this snack,over and over.You dont have to worry about the next one now.Stock up with healthy things.Dont make impulsive choices though.take 10 minutes to think it through and say NO to yourself when you need to. do that like we have to say no to other people and our kids sometimes. Dont feel deprived.When we realize it is our own choice,we dont seem to mind it so much.90 persent being very good is what you aim for and not succeeding all the time just gives us the chance to make a better choice next time.Dont do the all or nothing thinking thing and knock yourself too hard for the failures that are human,that makes us fall off the wagon as we think we cant fix this with ease. And a little treat every now and then have never made anyone fat.Its also normal. I think at about 5 months out most of us have to learn the lessons you are learning now and its a good thing too.It prepare us for a controlled future as normal people. Good luck with climbing back on the wagon.

just finished packing for our trip and my clothes only takes up about a third of the space the old big clothes use to take!Am just so excited to just get away for a few days and am not worried about the eating anymore. We joked about it today as I have a mild bout of gastritis again and with the meds and the pain eating causes,I know I will be fine eating very,very little.Very timely,one wouldnt usually say of something like this! We did another strange thing.Phoned the hotel and asked if we could bring our mini freezer (actually a camping fridge freezer...lol) as I have special dietary needs,I need sf popcicles so that I am not tempted to eat real ice cream...hehehe!It is a VERY special need indeed! Here in the Middle east you will often find people bringing boxes of snacks and food when they stay at the 5 star resorts.The staff never says anything,the local habits are just different.We've never done anything like this before but I feel myself a local this week (been here 11 years and should qualify by now..lol) See you all next week!

Are you on a PPI?Sometimes acid creates the exact same sensation as hunger! And now,as another band to sleever,just because you can,it doesnt mean you must! Pace yourself.Slow down.Rather than doing it in 10 minutes follow the rules.Eat it with a baby spoon,slowly.Give your head time to catch up with your stomach. Eat for 20 minutes at least,then stop,no matter what is left over. But do look into th PPI hing.I really did experience this myself. My hunger also took longer to go lessen but its never completely gone away. Use this tool called the sleeve.Be mindful when you eat and drink.Smell it first,then taste it slowly.Really taste it and enjoy each spoon full individually.Make a ritual out of this to help you. Good luck!

Hi,mostly I do fine.At 45,and as a new creation,I just have a bad day usually when PMS'sing.Problem is it just hits me out of the blue and I cannot always makes the connection immediately. Today,I feel gr8 and somehow wished I just didnt put all this out there!Maybe I should look into editing it anyway...lol Thanks for your concern.

Wine gives me gastritis,even now at 7.5 months out. So even though I really would love a glass of red wine just every now and then,it is a no no for me.

Hi Have you had your sleeve yet? Losing a hunderd pound have made the world of difference in my hip and upper thigh pain I have had for years.I use to say my next surgery would be a hip replacement before plastics. My surgeon did a quick xray to just see if the hip space and Fluid was still ok and well,it was fine. About 4 months and 70 pounds later, I dont have to take pain meds for it anymore and exercise is an absolute pleasure. I am not sure how much better your arthritis in the hips will be but the dr's are always telling the patients to lose weight when the have arthritis,right?So it ahould improve your pain issues quite a bit I believe. Everything is easier after weight loss and you should see a significant aprovement. Good luck on you journey!

I shouldnt say anything before coffee.

Ok,I hope you feel better soon! xxo

Thanks for the great comments.Interesting website,and I want to be skinny one day too.lol.I will not be satisfied until that day.Just have to start being more consistent in the exercise and not use this hernia as an excuse now...lol 4ALongerLife,you must feel and look great.Congrats on your success.

My teeny tiny 4'11 friend have lost 32 pounds recently.She just got a huge promotion and today we decided to buy her a whole new wardrobe of dresses and shirts. Of course the old stuff had to be turfed.As she was emptying her closets she came to me and said that most of her stuff is size 14 but some is 16 and I must fit them on.Never thinking they could fit I reluctantly tried and boy what a surprize. Even her work suites fit me.And as I am more curvy they look gooood! An even bigger surprize is the fact that all the size 14 skirts fit as well.The tops are still to tight around the bust though. Tis is such a blessing because they have been nagging me to buy new clothes.But for a few bits and bops I havent wanted to buy new stuff yet.I want to wait until just before the christmas holiday when we go home and should be down even another size by then. The best of this is I have been buying her clothes for her for years as she is just too busy and she hated clothes shopping.I also have much better dress sense than her so she's got some really nice stuff. Now I have new stuff and she has new stuff.She looks like a million dollars in all her new outfits and my kids mouths were hanging open when I walked into the lounge with some of her clothes on. So I am shrinking,I just didnt realize it until today. O and as we were walking,we played the size game again.I have to show her women I think are the same size than me and she would tell me yes or no and then show me people that are rally the same size than me.I still find it hard to believe when I see the people she shows me.But it helps me get in touch with my size slowly but surely.

As a post op (and tongue in cheeck..lol) plastic surgery! O and walking the Camino de Santiago next year and running Dubai half marathon and maybe sitting on a harley without my butt hanging off the sides oh,and riding in my friends Porche without having to roll onto my knees on the ground when I get out of it,picture that! Just one thing though.That happiness thing,it doesnt come from the weight loss.But it sure helps! Good luck with all your surgeries.The sleeve is awesome!

Yes,as far as I know you should just stop logging into the site when you dont want to use it anymore,cant deactivate it. But why are you so mad?You have done well,you seem happy with your weight loss.We are not all the same and numbers are very important to higher BMI OCD sleevers like myself.If we dont get the numbers down we dont get to be healthy and comfortable. Personally I can not relate to your statement that says if you dont lose another pound.......as I would be devestated if I dont lose another pound and my BMI is just under 30 now.You see a number but important as it is VERY related to my health. I have also found that people very often only post to things that they can identify with.I am sure that secretly I am envious of people who are much lighter than me,lol,much closer to goal and have had much less to lose than me.I understand that anothers 80 pounds is as important as mine just as my best friends 20 pounds is as important as my 120 pounds.But as you can see,I have no other frame of reference as to who you are,what your goals are and where you are with them other than the numbers I see on your signature.I cannot see you and dont know you. Please dont take this personally but what is it that you didnt get from the board and who are you really so angry at?Just think about it.Keep in mind that we all come from different walks of life,all have different frame of reference,all process information differently and are different types of communicators. I blog and as English is not my first language and I talk too much anyway lol,I often dont get any response to some of my blog posts.But thats ok.If it helps one person thats good enough for me. we are responsible for our own success,whatever each individuals definition of that might be.Where as I want to be healthier,I sure as heck want to look a lot better than I do now.I want clothes size that is a lot lower.Most very over weight people need a psycologist anyway as being that way can be very damaging to our self image and finding out why we would allow ourselves to become this way is sometimes key to not going there again. Personally I love this forum as we can be nice to each other,harsh with each other,ignore each other and its all good because we all have a common goal.To get thin and healthy,or should I say healthy and thin? Good luck on your journey.

It seems easier to lose weight without the muffins and the cereals as our calorie intake is quite low while losing.But there is stuff like psyllium husk and chia seeds that you could start adding a few months out. Fibre just dont seem high on the priority list for most,I dont often see that peoples food really includes a lot of it. Edamame Beans,protein pancakes with flaxseeds or chia seeds and psyllium husk,or maybe fibre one original (11grams with 60 cals) has been my go to. The flaxseed muffin recipe I have is just too high in cals for me but yours might work for you. It will be interesting to see what others say about this fibre issue.