salsa1877

Sorry I worried you...I have been in meetings all day. And I am exhausted. Major food demons today. I was hungry all day...not head hunger, but actual stomach growling hunger. I woke up hungry and could not shake it all day. Then they provided us food in the meeting today and I have NO idea how many calories I had. I didn't eat anything bad, but I get nervous (almost shaky) when I don't know the calorie count. I should have just packed my own lunch, but I figured I am not going to be able to hide from food my whole life. I had my plan going in...a grilled chicken wrap with no dressing and fruit. That is all I had too, but of course I have been trying to figure out how to figure out how many calories all afternoon. I am crazy and it pisses me off. SO I estimated 400 calories for the entire meal, but that was totally a random guess! But anyways I will survive. I am very happy with my perfectly measured and weighed foods, delightfully portioned out in ziplock baggies and calculated to the calorie. I don't see weighing and measuring as a chore or as a diet...it just makes me happy. Kind of like Jackie's cleaning...it is what makes us happy! Needless to say though it wears me out worrying what I ate. Dumb...I know. Plus I an trying to decide which is the lesser of the evils. Maybe you all can help. I either have to add extra calories (fats mainly as I am getting in more carbs now) or I have to eat bigger portions. And yes being unfilled I can eat now eat pretty big portions. Not as big as before, but at least triple of what I could when filled. So I don't know which one is safer for me. The portion sizes scare me because that was my biggest problem before. I am afraid that I am going to be hungry so I have been going with the bigger meals. My argument/justification is that if I am going to eat more, I don't want to have a lot of extra, needless calories. I guess my biggest fear is that my portions are going to go up to the point that I can't control it again. I know that I can always have a fill that will prevent that but not until August. Guess I am just going to have to be VERY careful. Other than that, my day was very uninteresting. I am exhausted though. Can't imagine how DH is feeling. RIght now he is working 2 jobs. 6AM - 10AM and then 1:30PM to 10PM. Next week it is worse... 4AM - 8/9AM and then 1:30PM to 10PM. Today was my rest day on the half-marathon training but then I have 2 consecutive days of running. I am getting more and more excited about it. It is so weird to think that 13.1 miles really isn't that far. I have complete confidence in myself. It is such a nice...but odd...feeling. Well I honestly think I am going to go to bed. I will get back up when DH gets home, but the mornings are coming early! OH and by the way...we had snow again today. It didn't stick around long, but I REALLY want spring to get here. I am freezing!

If you want potato flavor without the potato carbs take and steam the heck out of cauliflower and then mix with some LF or FF cream cheese. Blend until mashed potato texture and season with your favorite seasonings. It really does taste like tatos! In fact I just had it with my ground chicken meatloaf tonight!

I ate pureed meat during my mushy stage. I would add some chicken broth and potatoes. Or to my tuna I would puree it with some FF mayo. I have one of those small choppers that looks like a mini food processor and I would whip it up in there. I was told that as long as it is the consistancy of pudding that I could eat it. DId your doc give you any specifics on what constitutes mushies?

Try something dairy based (sour cream , a small piece of cheese, a tiny sip of milk). That is supposed to help with heat better than water anyways. Drinking while eating can do 2 things according to my doc. 1 it washes the food through quickly and you don't stay full as long. 2 it can cause the food to float up your esophagus. Kind of like a beach ball floating in a swimming pool. I eat spicy foods quite often and just find that having something dairy will calm down the spice quickly without having to drink.

I hate things around my neck, but I remember seeing an arm pouch thingy for your music device with a small pouch on it at Wal-Mart today. Going to go get that tomorrow! I am going to put my blog in my signature right after I finish here. Problem is...I am running out of room in my signature! I don't blame you for not wanting to run in front of people. When I first started at the gym I was REALLY self concious because my 2 principals would be on the elipticals behind me. However they have been COMPLETELY supportive and encouraging in this whole process I figured What the hell, I can't look any worse than I did when I was waddling around at 250 pounds! One of my principals at this school was my principal at my previous school. He called me last April and offered me my job here. Greatest boss you could EVER have! Anyways, I did get more confident as I continued. I still feel like I look like a doofus running and will probably have butterflies on my race days, but that is really something I have had to work on. I still feel like people see me as a fat person...even though the people I pass in the canyon have never seen me as fat...just as another person running in the canyon! However 6 FREAKING MILES IS AWESOME! Good for you...running will come. I didn't start out running! So my day continued to get more interesting. We live in a small apartment complex and even though it is very old one of the perks is a free laundry room. Yesterday it was busy all day so I didn't get all of it done. Today I go down, do 2 loads of laundry, put them in the dryer...and it doesn't start. So right now my very small apartment has been turned into a cleaners. I just think of it as new decor. Instead of hanging "Plants" I now have hanging "Pants!" Best sign off! Night all...Chat in the morning...or maybe later tonight if someone else has something to say!

Phyl you look FANTASTIC! 75 pounds! What a milestone!

You are, in my opinion, most DEFINETLY too tight. I know what you mean though about your doc (or in my case fill nurse) not being supportive of you having it taken out, but this is your body and you need to take control of it. I found that I didn't lose at all when I was on crap mushie foods. I have lost almost all of my weight being on the loose side. It forced me to make good food choices (dense Proteins and meats) because I could. I didn't worry about choking, pbing. I had a fill the end of March and it was WAY too tight. All I could eat was popcorn (yes I know..weird!) and crystal light. I had a few Protein shakes but I really can't stand them and would rather cut my tongue out than drink them. However when I went in the nurse didn't really take anything out. In fact when I went in the other day because I was still dealing with being too tight, I found out that she actually put .2ccs in. Fortunately I had a different nurse and she removed the entire thing. Now I am on maintenance and have to be unfilled for my upcoming TT, but you can risk serious complications being too tight. It doesn't sound like you are opposed to getting a slight unfill, so I would force your doc to do it. Again this is your body and you are paying for it whether through insurance premiums or self pay. I honestly believe your lack of weight loss is because your body has gotten so far into starvation mode because of the lack of nutrition. Maybe not calories, but just lack of nutrition. Hope this helps and don't feel like you are alone! Join us any time on the main Lucky #7's board. As you can see from my sig, I was banded in August, but this is my home! They are wonderful people here and we are all very supportive. Each and every one of them would be on your side.

I too am in training for a half marathon. I started running jsut after I got into onederland, but that was because I finally joined a gym. Before I was doing workouts at home and I HATED walking/running outside. But if you take it REALLY slow I think a lot of people can do it. What I mean by REALLY slow is to build up gradually. I started by running for 10 seconds at a time, then built up to a tenth of a mile, then a quarter of a mile and after running and increasing slowly I ran 3 miles OUTSIDE for the first time in my life today. I did 5K on the treadmill the other day, but today was the first time outside. Now I am running in two 5K runs during the next two weekends and my half-marathon on June 29. So I officially started my 10 week training today for that half marathon today so running will be my primary exercise. However I have been doing the eliptical and weights at the gym for the last 4-5 months. Before that I was doing the Biggest Loser video. Tried yoga once and felt like a total doofus...didn't do it again! Keep movin...doesn't matter what you are doing...just keep moving!

I just got back from my 3 mile run.:sad: Okay it is tougher outside than it is on the treadmill. On the treadmill you have to make a concious effort to slow down the speed to a walk. Outside it is sheer will power. I read some place that a marathon is a test of the mind not the body. :sad: I AGREE!!!! I made it, and I didn't do too bad considering that I was in a panic on the entire second half of the run. I run what is called the Dry Canyon. It is 1.5 miles each strech and when I got to the turn around I went to check my stopwatch that was in my pocket to see my time. Well my car key was SUPPOSED to be attached to that watch and it wasn't!:tongue_smilie::scared2::thumbup: So I had to run back not knowing where I had dropped the key, whether my car would even be there when I got back, and freaking out how I was going to get in my house! I only live about a mile from the canyon, but I had locked the rest of my keys in the car and just took my car key with me!:sad::eek::sad: Then I remembered that there was this very polite elderly woman who told me to go ahead of her because she didn't want her to slow me down and so I had quickly shoved the stopwatch in my pocket. I figured that the key disattached at that point and that it was probably on the ground at the beginning of the trail...WHICH IS ON A VERY BUSY ROAD NEXT TO A SKATE PARK. :frown: I remembered this encounter about a quarter of the way back and I don't know whether to be relieved because I know where it most likely fell out of my pocket, or panicked because who knows who could have picked up the key and driven off with my wallet, car keys...and oh yeah MY CAR! Well panicking doesn't do much for the heart rate and breathing...both of which you are supposed to keep even. I was swearing, on the verge of tears and FRUSTRATED! But I made my 3 miles AND found my car key:biggrin2: right where I figured it had to be. So now I have to figure out a different way to attach that dang key to the stop watch because I don't want to go through that again. I seriously ran 1.5 miles looking down at the ground for the key. Hunched over is not good for the breathing. So my first training day was certainly memorable. It can only get better from here! Well until the day that I have to force myself to run 12 miles on my own. The 13.1 miles on race day will be easier because you will have the adrenaline of the people cheering you on. But training...never fun. Also I have decided that I am going to start a blog. I have my begining of the plastic surgery saga on there, so I think I am going to add to that my marathon training. Could be fun. For you guys it won't be as interesting because I tell y'all everything anyways, but it should be fun for my non-LBT friends. I'll let you know when it is up and running. Well off to eat my fruit and granola so I can get my carbs and calories in for the day! Talk to you all later!

Wow that is a wonderful offer.:thumbup: I am follwing the marathonrookie.com training schedule, but if you could send me yours that would be great. There is a thread around here somewhere that asks what people are doing to Celebrate their bandiversary...and I have decided that for mine I am running a half marathon! Actually I am doing it 1 month and 1 week early cause I don't think my PS would be happy if I tried running a half marathon 1 month after surgery! As for upping the cals how many do you consume? I am on maintenance at 1500 (but it seems that if I exercise at 1500 then I still lose weight and my PS doesn't want that!) I am actually finding it VERY difficult to get in 1500 calories. Even being unfilled I don't have much of an appetite and I have turned into a food nazi (for lack of a better term). I think my biggest problem food wise is going to be getting in carbs. I am an ATKINS girl to the core. I ate carbs while losing weight, but not many. I ate enough that I didn't feel like I was on a diet, but I still stay under 50. I know that is going to have to change, but I feel like crap when I eat them. Plus eating them puts me on a slippery slope. So I have to be VERY careful of the kinds of carbs I eat. Nothing snackish. Any Snacks I have must be Protein based or I will snack, snack, snack all day long. Anyways I would love to have you as a training partner, though I am going to have to take a hiatus in July! But I figure once I am back up and healed from the TT then I am off to run the full blown Marathon in May.

Got in a 3 mile run outside in very cold and windy weather. Started the half-marathon training today. It is going to kick my butt!

LJM you have inspired me so much that I am now officially in training for a half marathon scheduled on June 29...just 4 days before my TT. My goal is to run the Eugene Marathon next May. I have a 5K run scheduled for this Saturday and a 5K run scheduled the same day as your Minnie Marathon. We can keep each other in mind. Now 5k is now where near a half-marathon (that is the minnie marathon right?), but I just started training!! You truly are an inspiration to all of us. Being able to push through the pain, shows the rest of us that it can be done. I figured if you could push for the marathon this close after your surgery that I could do it. I will certainly have you in my thoughts when I am running on the 4th!

No you are not nuts. I mean think about it... we go into surgery and come out looking totally different. That freaks me out a little. I want an idea of what I am going to look like. My thing is that I have never found anyone that is similar to me. I know what a t-cut looks like after surgery (though it took HOURS of searching), but I have never found anyone even remotely similar. Doctors don't usually post the vertical cuts on their before and afters because frankly they don't look as good as the other kind because of the long visible scar. Can't blame them for that...they want to show their best work. My doc showed me before and afters, but said I can't compare them too much because I have a VERY unique body type. I carried ALL of my weight in my tummy (I had sculpted thighs and calves at 250 pounds!). So you are not nuts...I would think you were nuts if you DIDN'T look! I am excited for you...just a few days away!~

My PS told me that she would be able to get some of the top fat roll off too, but it comes at a price. My top roll is really the worst for me. That is what gives me more problems that anything. I have 2 very distinct rolls with a nice TIGHT section across my belly button. So what is the price that I have to pay you ask? I have to have a vertical "t-incision". So not only will I be cut from mid-hip to mid-hip, but will also have a vertical incision that after my skin is stretched will run from groin to breast bone. My guess is that your top belly was not as bad as mine and therefore your doc felt that the visable vertical incision would be worse than leaving some of the extra fat up top. For me I had the option but she said I would look kind of like a smooshed accordian with rolls on the side after surger without the t-cut. I opted for the vertical incision since I don't plan on wearing a bikini any time soon!

I haven't been nipped and tucked yet either, but I know that I am going to be in the same situation. I don't have the facial problems (yet) but I said going into being banded that if I could just get to a size 10 I would be happy and wouldn't care about PS. Now I'm still paying a HUGE amount on my Lap Band with an enormous interest rate and scraping my pennies to get the TT. NOW I am thinking about when I can get my boobs done and maybe my arms... But as so many people here have said, we have hid ourselves from the world and now that we finally feel like we have something to be proud of we want to have it look our best. Because my tummy is SOOOOOOOOO bad, when I see people I haven't in a while and they tell me I look fabulous I feel like their eyes drop right to my Jabba-the-Hut belly and that they start thinking (well she looks good except for that). Well once the belly is gone, then I am going to think that they are looking at my arms, and then figure that my boobs are bad. I think we all probably need counseling because body image is a HUGE part of this process. I agree that some people who are still in the weight loss process don't understand what we are going through, but this is a natural part of the journey, in my opinion. I hade one person say at the last in-person support group that I went to "I wish I had your problems" I answered back, "well I hope you never do have my problems." Don't let anyone tell you that what you are feeling is not important or realistic. I agree with BJean that as long as you don't end up looking like one of the Jackson 5, you are good. If you can afford it, and it helps make you feel better, than I don't think there is anything wrong with it. Now if you are taking out a second mortgage to satisfy your Botox habit, you may want to run, not walk, to a therapist. Until then you seem to be doing what a lot of women are doing at your age. Yours just happens to be done in a short period of time. You can recognize things in yourself that you were hiding with your weight. We support you!

Ahhh...shucks...I don't feel like an idol! I have worked very hard though and appreciate the compliment. It means a lot. Kind of feel like a failure at this maintenance thing. I can't get to 1500 calories no matter how hard I try. I don't even want crappy food anymore so I am having a tough time getting the calories in. I have such a control issue. I control my food like Jackie controls the cleanliness of her house!:scared2: As for not knowing my size...I have major mental problems with that one. I have no idea how much space I take up. The problem is getting better, but last night I had a HUGE fat night. I just felt enormous...like I was 93 pounds ago. Not a good place mentally! Those days are becoming farther and farther apart, but they are still there. When I am naked I look MUCH bigger than when I am clothed. Hopefully that will be remedied in July! Yes the weather is crazy here. NINE freaking degrees this morning! I am running outside no matter what today though. Half-marathon training begins TODAY!:w00t: There was a question on a another board about what you do to celebrate your bandiversary...Well I am celebrating early, but I am doing it by running. Being physically active and fit is the greatest gift I have given myself. No 4AM morning today. Though next week my waking pattern shifts to 3:15 AM as DH's new job starts at 4AM. I am going to attempt to go to the gym at that time, but I don't know if it will be possible. I may just have to keep my hours the same. I am a morning person, but that is middle of the night still! Love the guy...but maybe not that much! Okay well I need to get to the next class. Today is moving kinda quickly:thumbup:!

But it is still a loss! At least it wasn't a 25 pound gain! Let us know what you are doing (how many calories, how much exercise, when you eat) and maybe we can find something that you aren't seeing. We have all been through the ups and downs here and the people on this board can really help things get started. Welcome...keep coming back...it makes a big difference!

Wow...what a mixed bag of emotions. First of all... congratulations on being overweight. It is a great club to be in! Sorry to hear about your MIL. I don't know that there is anything you could do to console him. RIght now he feels very guilty, but in time it will pass. I said something very horrible just as I was checking me voicemail when I found out that my mom had died. Even though I coudn't stand my mom, the comment that I made just as the message started took me a long time to get over. But then I realized that my comment or my not being in the same state did not kill her. It was just her time to go. I guess that is something you could try to express to him. She would have died if he had been there or not. Grief is so hard because everyone deals with it so differently. Hugs and love to you and your family.

I have to have a vertical "inverted t-cut" because of the way I carry my weight. If you go back and look SEVERAL pages ago or on the August 07 board on the Plastic Surgery thread you will see that my belly flab and extra skin not only hangs down, but it is off to the side as well. If they just did the bottom cut then I would be left with extra skin on the side and would kind of look like a smooshed accordian. It will help the doc pull in on the sides more and should really enhance the curves. She said most people would benefit from the vertical cut, but not enough to outweigh the fact that you will have a vertical incision. Since I never plan on wearing a bikini and really just want to NOT look like Jabba the Hut's sister I am okay with the vertical cut. She left it totally up to me, but said I would not be happy without it. So they will remove the entire bottom roll and part of the top roll and then stretch it down. I think I am a little scared too, and to be honest it was one of the reasons that I signed up for the half marathon. THe run is only 4 days before my surgery so I have something to focus on insted of that. You will be fine...after all you will have all of us here pulling for you. My surgery is exactly 1 month after yours so I will be looking to you for motivation. I am sure you will be much happier once it is done.

Chicken Meatloaf Recipe 1/2 pound of ground chicken (I grind chicken tenders with my Kitchen Aid) 1 egg 1/4 cup oatmeal As many veggies as you want (I used mushrooms, onions, green pepper, garlic, celery, tomatoes, zucchini) Add your favorite seasonings (dill is very yummy) Top with tomato sauce or ketchup and parmesean cheese Mix together and place in a loaf pan. Bake at 350 until internal temp reaches 180 degrees. This really is a blank slate. The chicken has very little flavor so you can make it taste like whatever you want. I was just trying to get rid of some veggies.

My lap-band doc and nurse said I didn't need an unfill as long as I don't throw up from anesthesia. My plastic surgeon said I WOULD BE unfilled because she didn't want any nutritional issues. But my surgery is EXTENSIVE. 1 cut from mid hip to mid hip and from groin to breast bone. Plus they will be rearranging my entire torso! So I will have to get about 150 grams of protein for about 2-3 weeks to ensure healing. She didn't want me to end up being so tight that all I could do is get down liquids. I have a HUGE hatred for protein drinks. So I figured if I got to tight that meant sticking a needle in my just operated on and tender tummy. I have a lot of scar tissue that make my fills difficult and painful, so I just had it undone. I would ask your PS though what his/her opinion is. FOr me it was a safety issue and the fact that I live 6 hours away from my lap-band. I didn't want to be driving in the car 2 days after surgery foaming and sliming on my own saliva. And yes I cook for the whole week. I work too many hours to even attempt during the week. Now throw in the half-marathon training and I will never have time. So Sundays are cooking day! My favorite day of the week!

I was looking at the training schedule for the half-marathon and training starts on Monday so I postponed my workout until tomorrow. Besides we had a terrible storm that went through here with thunder and lighting and WIND, WIND, WIND. I was just getting ready to go for a run when it started, so that eliminated running outside, and the side of the town that they gym is on lost power, so that eliminated that! Just decided to take the day...kinda figured it was a sign. Now...it is gorgeous again. We have seen it all today...hail, rain, snow, thunder and lightening, wind, sun...still waiting for the tornados or hurricanes to come whipping through. So no workout today, but I did get laundry, dishes and weekly cooking done!

I totally get what you mean by NOW knowing what the phrase "nothing tastes as good as thin feels". That statement meant NOTHING to me when I was fat. I never knew what it felt like being thin. I had never been there. So I figured, yeah it will feel good, but honestly can anything feel better than a double layered, extra walnut carrot cake tastes. Uhh... I didn't think so. Now, that carrot cake doesn't seem so tasty! Well I got my weekly cooking done. Almost, I still have a chicken meatloaf in the oven. But I made a fajita crustless quiche, crustless pizza, and the meatloaf. I am trying to plan the rest of my week (snacks and such) now. Just ate dinner and I am stuffed. I have not had enough calories so I tried to eat a higher calorie dinner, and I did, but it wasn't enough. I am barely over 1000 calories today and I need to get to 1500. Maintenance really has to be a focus for me because the PS does not want me going below 150 because it will make it riskier for her to take as much skin/fat/tissue as she would like. SO I am pushing for 1500 calories on the days I don't run and 1600-1700 hundred on the days that I do. Hopefully that will even things out. Dinner was yummy though...6 oz of shrimp, 2 oz of barilla plus pasta (see I get my carbs!) and some spaghetti sauce. Still have 450 calories to eat tonight...probably strawberries and granola! I was looking at the training schedule for the half-marathon and training starts on Monday so I postponed my workout until tomorrow. Besides we had a terrible storm that went through here with thunder and lighting and WIND, WIND, WIND. I was just getting ready to go for a run when it started, so that eliminated running outside, and the side of the town that they gym is on lost power, so that eliminated that! Just decided to take the day...kinda figured it was a sign. Now...it is gorgeous again. We have seen it all today...hail, rain, snow, thunder and lightening, wind, sun...still waiting for the tornados or hurricanes to come whipping through. Okay I think my meatloaf should be done soon so I will sign off. Check back later...hope my friends come out to play...I'm bored!

I didn't have to do the pre-op diet and I can tell you that I was more determined that ever after the surgery. Jack and BBK are totally correct... this was one time. Now you don't do it again. If you read very many of my posts around here you will here me say over and over again...you have to have a plan. Now you know what will happen when faced with a "frito". Now the question is what will you do next time. Plan it out in your head. There is no way even after 8 months into this journey that if I didn' have a plan that I could turn away chips, Cookies, brownies, fritos, etc if I didn't have a plan. You have to know what to do BEFORE you are faced with that choice. It makes success a lot easier. As for the post op diet...I stayed true because I was afraid I would do something to the band. Fear kept me honest! Besides I am sure that you are a strong person. Don't underestimate yourself. You will need will power (I know, we all hate it) but you have it. Just dig deep. Good luck!

Yeah I was pretty angry considering that everyone keeps pushing me into maintenace (lap band doc, PS, DH) and then they kept wondering why I couldn't stop losing...uh hello...it hurt too bad to eat. Again thanks for all the support.