salsa1877

Why oh why will my food not go down. I guess I should be thankful that this is only the first time in 2 weeks that I have been truly stuck but I still don't like it one bit.

Knowing my mommy the teenagers are probably trying to get her to go to bed!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DENISE! I hope you are feeling better.

Transfer addiction...sometimes it is good and sometimes it is expensive!! Bend is about 2 hours east of Portland. There are a billion and one camping sites around here if you came on your way back. My doc really is great. I would say that you could stay here but my apartment is less than 500 sq ft and all I ahve to offer is a small couch!! Let me know if there is anything that I can do to help out. Why is Earl so against the surgery? I don't know how the leg surgery is but I do know that my tummy tuck was way less painful than my lap-band. Again let me know if there is anything that I can do. BIG BIG hugs!

Have a great time! While I am not working on my spring break I will put on my swimsuit and have a glass of cranberry lemonade and pretend that I am with you!!

Phyl I am sure that you won't stop the exercise, but I just wanted to throw that out there because I wish someone had informed me that it could be an issue. When I first had PS they pretty much had to tie me in my chair to keep me down. However, after sitting on my rear for 6 weeks the laziness came back with a vengence. I feel like I am starting over with my routine. Mommy - Have fun on your cruise tomorrow. DH and I keep talking about going on one and I think we will as soon as I pay off all of my surgeries. He pretty much will tag along with me wherever I want to go. When we first got together he said he wasn't much of a traveler...but he seems to get just excited as I do when I suggest going somewhere.

I do not think that you are crazy to get your legs done before goal at all. Some PS docs will tell you that getting the plastic surgery can actually help you get to goal. I only have 1 piece of advice and that is to be careful AFTER surgery that you can maintain your dilegence with your eating and exercising. You will look so much better after surgery and you will have to go several weeks without exercising and your mind can do terrible things to you. There are several of us that have had PS and then gone off the deep end because we look HOT and therefore don't think we need to watch what we eat. STUPID, STUPID, STUPID...I know...but it has happened to more than one of us. While most of us went through Lap-band to get healthy or prevent health issues, looking better is certainly part of it and so I say GO FOR IT!:lol:

okay...I am addicted to facebook now. This is NOT good!

Steph - I will be thinking about you. If I have to...I can put you in a wheel chair and push you 60 miles!!!! My fingers are crossed and now I am going to have to set up a facebook account to see how things go tomorrow. Can you PM me how to get ahold of you on facebook? DH can show me how to use it.

Were you trying to be mean!! :tt2:It was snowing here this morning!!!! April 3 and I will be in Vegas!!!!!I NEED THE SUN!

Ummm...could someone check the calendar for me. The last time I looked it said March but our weather says otherwise. I WANT SUNSHINE!!!!!

Well I did yesterday off and unfortunately today too. It was miserable outside. Sustained 25 mph winds, gusting to 50. Therefore I just did school work at home. I let my legs rest cause they were a little sore. My DH and I play the computer game World of Warcraft and we had suspended our subscriptions for the last several months due to finances and lack of time. Well we decided to get it back this month. It is 15$ a month so it isn't too bad...though probably not something we should have...but fortunately it can be suspended at any time. So we have been playing that on and off for the last 2 days. I did get all of my school work ready for next week. 1 week and then spring break!!!! Well I am off. Just wanted to check in!

Okay...so I didn't make it the full 10 miles, but not because of lack of trying. When we woke up this morning it was COLD but clear outside and I figured bundling up would do. By the time I dropped DH off at the testing site it was WINDY. So I climbed the butte twice (5 miles total) but the wind was so bad that I was shivering as I was running. When I was running down the hill it was so windy that my eyes were watering to the point that I couldn't see. I just kept my fingers crossed that I didn't run into anyone!! By the time I got to the bottom of the hill the second time, the thought of going back up in the wind made me start to ACTUALLY cry. So I said it wasn't worth it. Instead, I went to the car, turned the heat on so high, and drove around trying to get warm! I may go back to the gym tonight or I may just be happy with my 5 miles and call it a day. Sometimes you just have to know when to kick your feet up and take a break. I think tonight might just be one of those nights.

You shouldn't feel ashamed...Instead use it as motivation to do something. You don't have to run 10 miles or climb a mountain. Literally for me it started out parking at the end of the parking lot. Exercise for me though has never been something I hated. Even at 250 pounds I still worked out...just not as regularly or as hard as I do now. We were having this conversation at our last in person support group and for a lot of people the exercise is what was holding them back. Then, the leader of the group gave them some very simple exercise that they could do while just hanging around the house. Sit in a chair with a firm back and raise your leg about 3 inches off the ground, hold for 10 seconds and lower. Repeat 10-15 times and switch to the other leg. Then just keep doing this over and over while you are sitting and watching tv. The other one was a little harder on the knees but during commercials stand up and sit down off the couch. Doing those 2 things works 2 of the biggest muscle groups in your body and therefore will burn calories. Now are you going to burn 1157 calories like I did yesterday...NO! However it is always my philosophy that success breads success. Therefore if you could do that for a week or two, then maybe you will feel like getting out and walking or biking. It has to be about finding something that is fun for you to do. For me fun is punishing me to see how far I can push it and then seeing if I can take it one step further. Just over a year ago, I couldn't run a full mile. Within 1.5 months of running the first full mile of my life, I ran a 5K, within 5 months I ran a half marathon. Our bodies are much more resilient than we give them credit for. Like my mommy said...If you think you can't, you can't. If you think you can, you can. Exercise is much more mental than it is physical for the most part.

Good morning! My legs are sore, the girls are chaffed, I have a huge blister on the side of my foot...but I LOVE IT. It feels so good to be back to REAL training. So far this week I have run 26 miles. I am doing 10 more today and then a 4 or 5 mile hike tomorrow. On the food front, things have been going extremely well. My calories have been between 1500-1800 daily and while that seems high to try and lose weight...when you burn 1100 calories like I did yesterday...those kind of calories are needed for fuel! DH has testing again today and then I think I have convinced him to go to urgent care. He woke up the other morning with a sore elbow which he thought he had just slept on wrong. However 4 days later it is still sore and swollen. To me it seems like it is slightly dislocated. He has a DR appt on Thursday with our family doc for a routine physical so he just wants to wait until then. I am not sure if I can convince him otherwise, but I am going to try. Well we are off. I have to go get some moleskin for my blister and then head into Bend for DH's test and my grueling 10 miler. This one should be interesting because I am climbing a butte so it is 1 mile uphill and 1 mile downhill. Repeat 5x. Chat later!

I doubt that I can come. It is going to be way too expensive and I am still trying to pay off surgeries. On top of that we just took a 1.61% pay cut for the rest of the year which means an extra 150$ out of my paycheck every month from now until August and then more pay cuts are expected next year. I would love to go but dropping 500$ on a flight is not something that we can afford to do right now. That would be my DH's entire paycheck!!! If we ever go to Vegas...I can make that one!!!

I have asked her to move the food, but she says that she needs easy access to it for the kids and that if I don't like it to just not eat it. I will figure it out...right now I am just struggling a bit. Things will smooth out when I can get the balance back in my life that I deserve. I know that when I say that I am going to work all of spring break that it sounds like I am not going to bring the balance back, but in reality it will be the best for me because I can get ahead and not be living 5 minutes at a time. I am going to do most of the work from home because at home I can completely control the situation. No matter how much CRAP I eat I refuse to bring it in the house. Therefore when I am working on school work and planning at home there is no chance of me eating crap everytime I need to print something! Good night!

I would love to stay out of that room...if only the printer, lab supplies, and office supplies were not right next to her huge supplies of food. Last year the food wasn't there AND I could resist it. Balance is the key to everything...and i am seriously out of balance right now. I had a nice long talk with DH tonight and he was incredibly supportive and gave me some great advice. He gave me a great perspective that I haven't been able to see. He told me that if he had to describe my life right now it would be a jigsaw puzzle. But not just any jigsaw puzzle. He said that is like I have taken 8 different puzzles and dumbed them all together in one bowl and am frantically trying to put the puzzles together without knowing what the pictures are. He really hit it on the head. Last year I had clear defined goals...not just about my weight or exercise...but about my personal life and my work life. This year...there are no goals. It is just about survival. When we are in survival mode there is no time to make long thought out decisions...instead it is to react to do what we feel is best. In those moments I don't take the time to think about WHAT is best...I just react. And I am trying to overcome 28 years of bad decisions. Without dilegence, we are going to fall back into habits that we had for so long. Old habits die hard. I feel like I have to completely start over. Yes...I think the new habits will come back faster, but I am still going to struggle forever. I really need to work on how to get the balance. That is what is most frustrating...I KNOW what I need to...now it is HOW to do it. Well Biggest Loser is on and then I am going to go to bed. I will check in tomorrow. BTW...I did 5.5 miles today. Tomorrow I have a support group meeting and then back to the gym on Thursday for a 10 miler followed by a 6 miler on Friday. Then we are going to go hiking this weekend.

I am right there with you. I am having major issues with food lately. I got the exercise part down, but the food is killing me. Yesterday I ran/walked 10 miles...but I think I was still positive on calories because I ate crap. I was telling Janet that at work I am terrible with food because I don't have the time to talk myself out of the cravings. I am not making excuses for myself because I shouldn't be eating that stuff but that is the reason. . When I am dealing with so much crap like I was this term, to have to concentrate so much on the food aspect just wasn't happeinging. Next trimester will be much smoother because I am not completely developing a curriculum. We all knew that the band wasn't going to solve the head issues. What I have been going through this several months is testiment to that. Even though I was really strong and made a lot of headway last year...what has happened to me has shown me that we will always have these fights. Some minutes will be easier than others. And yes...for me it comes down to minutes sometimes. I have tried punishment and rewards and neither one seems to work for me. This ISN'T about food. For me this is about my need to feel like the world isn't falling apart and that I am going to be alright. Not only was I conditioned to the fact that food means comfort it was also the only thing that I could count on being there. It is something that I feel like I can accomplish even in a short amount of time. I know this sounds ridiculous but when my world is spiraling out of control and I don't seem to be getting ANYTHING done...at least I can finish off those 10 crackers. When I do that I "accomplished" something. While I realize that this is sabotaging my ultimate effort at losing my 15 pounds, at THAT moment I am accomplishing something. I know that I am rambling but I hope that it helps both you and I and anyone else that is reading this. I know for me right now I am living moment to moment and not living in the big picture. Last year I took the time to look at the big picture. I had goals and I saw progress. Now all I see is what I have to do in the next 5 minutes and in that 5 minutes there is so much to do that I can't think beyond it. Living healthy requires more attention than that. As my wise mommy always says...we have to be selfish and right now I don't feel like I can be. If I could see that more people were suffering because I was not being selfish I would change...but right now the only person suffering because of it and therefore I don't see me changing anytime soon. Well my students are going crazy so I had best sign off. I don't know that I have any words of wisdom but I want you to know that you are not alone.

Nope...not in jail. IN fact just the opposite! We were out and about all weekend. On Saturday we went backpack shopping because we are going to start hiking and we want to do some LONG hikes this summer. Then after that...we went hiking. It was really windy but the sun was out and it was beautiful. THen on Sunday after all that beautiful sun...it was snowing. I always want to live someplace that has 4 seasons...just not in 1 week!!!! We had free tickets to the Sportsman Outdoor show so we went and walked around there. I wasn't interested in anything...but there were a lot of students around so I had to pretend to be interested in their backwards way of living:tt2:. Then we went to lunch and finally to see the Watchmen. Seriously...I would have rather been in jail!!! I still have NO idea what that movie was about. Even DH was confused. Plus I was freezing the entire time. Goosebumps and the whole works so I was miserable. Anyways it was the longest almost 3 hours of my life! As for being cold...this sucks. I started getting cold last year when I was losing weight but this is ridiculous. I am freezing ALL the time. I can never get warm unless I am under layers and layers of blankets. My hands and nose are permanently frozen. I wear my coat at school all day because I just can't get warm. I WANT SUMMER!!!! Well best get going. 4 days left in this trimester and then we start again. It is DUMB though...we have 1 week of the new trimester and then 1 week of spring break. Tell me how ridiculous that is!! Chat later!

Okay...I am not worried about the 60 miles...I am not worried about getting to Seattle...I am worried how the hell I am going to raise 2300$ Anyone have any ideas????

I would definetly be in. I am doing my marathon on July 4th so my legs would still have the stamina. The only problem would be the travel but if we could find one somewhere that we could both get to I think it would be fun. (i know...we must be crazy if we thinking walking 60 miles would be fun!) I just looked at the site and date wise Seattle would be the best for me. I don't know how far of a trip that would be for you, but if you want to...I would be in. Still feeling like crap today but the kids are responding well. One kid asked me how I was feeling and I said that I felt like donkey poop....he said is that better or worse than dog poop. I said MUCH MUCH worse. He said that must be baaaaddd cause I told my mom that I felt like dog $hit this morning and I feel horrible. Gotta love high schoolers!!! At least he made me smile!

Death...That is what I feel like right now. DH made me some chicken noodle soup but I can't taste anything. I can sense salt and sugar but that is about it. THis is not the time for me to get sick. My kiddos are so far behind. I am going to try to make it through tomorrow and then maybe take Wed off...but I don't know if can. Well I am off to bed.

Sorry I have been absent lately. Things finally hit a head with my student teacher and I have been in meetings all week trying to get rid of him. Thursday was his last day. He came in on Friday to pick up his stuff and turn in his key. Now it comes down to me covering an entire standard (3 -4 weeks of material) in 1 week. My kids seem on board so hopefully we can sprint this marathon to the end. Therefore the next 2 weeks are going to be hectic. Teaching like a mad woman the next week and then assessing the following week. THank goodness we only have 3 weeks until spring break. We are going to Vegas April 2-5 to watch the Mariner's Spring Training game at Cashman field. That is also our anniversary weekend so it will be nice. Oh yeah...and we will NOT be moving to Vegas. The economy just scares us to bad right now...AND they lost most of my application materials AND part of my phone interview. Right now DH and I have stable and secure jobs. So we decided that the money that we would spend to move down there would be used for us to travel when the weather got bad here! My surgery will be paid off in about 9 months so that means that we would have money to spend by the time winter gets here. I am a little bummed but I did just get word from my school that I am going to get all the lower level science students next year. For most people that would make them run like the wind, but it was actually a request that I made. I love the kids that struggle and that really need a good role model. THose are the kids that I understand because that should have been me with the kind of mom that I had. It IS my brother. So you know what they say...one man's garbage is another mans treasure. That seems sad to say about kids, but there are so many teachers who really believe that they are garbage. Well that is my news. I had best get going I have a ton of planning to do.

Things have been bumpy around here. I keep going through all of the stress reducing tips and techniques that my therapist gave me...but since they don't seem to work it makes me MORE stressed out. It is a vicious circle. Almost PB'd my breakfast this morning. I managed to keep it down so that I wouldn't have to go on liquids. My snack isn't going down much better. The problem with liquids is that they are so carb heavy and I "eat' too many of them so the weight goes to a scary place. Due to my incidents with being too tight I have gained all the weight that I have lost over the weeks prior. I know that most of it is water weight...my ring is TIGHT. So I figure it is water ...or all my fat is forming in my hands. I am back to training for my marathon after my IT band injury. It felt good to push it at the gym last night. Well I had best get going I need to write a rubric for a student who is going independent study because she can't handle my student teacher.

Wahooo!! That is awesome! I have one hot momma!! Doctor says everything is fine with the band. They had left the primer in (the fluid between the port and the band) but with all the stress I have been under in the last few weeks it was just too much. I have never been able to tolerate anything over 2cc so they just said that my band is naturally tight on my stomach and that I will always have to be careful and that when I am under stress that I will be tight. So I had to move my marathon date back. I am going to run the half marathon in Eugene on May 3 and then the full marathon on July 4 in Portland. It is kind of fitting I think. My b-day is July 1, my 1 year TT anniversary is July 3 and my 1st marathon will be July 4. That is kind of MY TIME of the year! That reduces some of the stress because there is no way that I was going to be ready for the marathon by May. Not with some of the injuries that I have had in the last few weeks...all due to the fact that I tried to do too much too quickly. Now I can ease back into it. Well I am going to finish doing my taxes and efile them. Fortunately taxes are not painful this year...in fact we are getting back some good $$$$$