NME73

hello, im post op 6+ mos now and got to say this journey, if you havent started it has alot of emotional ups and downs BUT can say like many state......its worth it & the wait to see results, also we must remember that the results arent going to just appear, of course you will lose your water weight in the first few months but to continue your eating right, exercise & living a new life style will be some good and bad days ahead but please dont be discouraged or think you cant do it cause im here to say what many have said BUT i believe it and am living it so i know with confidence i could look you in the eye (or thru the computer hahaha) and say YOU CAN DO IT & YOU WILL DO IT.............IF YOU WANT TO, you have to want this it isnt a temporary fix or a fad its a lifestyle change that will affect many aspects in your life & hope you have done your homeowork and made the right decision for you. my whole intentions were to learn the system, how to eat, exercise & things i needed to do without having to do surgery so for a year or so i learned it did it and weight did come off about 90+ lbs. from myself working out eating right and calorie counting, which can be hard and tedius but very rewarding. i was the kind of person alot of us overweight people are, we have excuses to why we cant work out, eat right but the reality is thats all they are, EXCUSES, i , at the time, was going thru alot of emotional things in my life, my mom was dying from liver problems, she was in and out of the hospital while i lived 3 hrs away and would rush to see her or get a call she was bad and would drop all and leave to be with her, i was slowly becoming depressed and distant with my family (eating conforted me and always was my best friend, so i thought), work was slow cause of the economy so i feared id lose my job, my oldest was becoming a father and at 19 he followed my footsteps which i begged him not to his future was set but turned on a dime and he found a girlfriend fell in love and school and his future didnt mean much to him, as i said i was a mess, every day going into work stressing on is this my last day, finally i was at the point where i was waiting for that day to come and let a lil stress off my chest from work and just lay me off so i could look or go back to school. so i followed the diet, picked what exercise i liked (biking & swimming), changed my outlook on life and started to follow my modo which i created in a clothing co. i been trying to make possible for years, and simply whispered it to myself whenever i worked out or needed encouragement.....NME= No More Excuses.....Nike has a slogan they say JUST DO IT, and as a kid it fueled me to excell in football with that thought, just do it, i would work harder, want better performance so i just did it.....so thought why not follow my own words and not have any reason why i shouldnt do this for me and for my family. people who care always tell you and worry about your weight, dont take it to the heart they care is why they say somehting, so with all that i looked at myself in the mirror and spoke to ME and said NMEwear, No More Excuses .....but stick to this and follow this dont just let it be a passing fade like nike said just do it....so again i looked at myself long and hard, cried tears of years of looking at myself thinking wow i gained alota weight, i loved me and still do no matter how big i was i never let go of loving myself and actually carried my weight well but as i clmbed to 473 i feared being 500+ than feared death as my mother on her death bed cried and worried about me, i was always a 215-220 guy but life, stress & fast food crept my weight up and noone is to blame but me, not mcdonalds for there food thats so easily found on every corner, not stress of life, not anyone.....ME, i was to blame i let myself and chose to be who i was and looked how i did cause my choices. for that whole year i did what the docs asked of me, the end results were i was going to lose the weight for surgery, but as i said i was doing it to keep doing it and avoid surgery which i thought was the best for me, but after long talks with myself and weighing the situations and lifestyle i had lived for 20+ years i said to myself you need something that will not only help but be a good tool and let your old ways not have a chance to come back, i felt as if i had ate enough hamburgers, greasy foods, to last a lifetime so i thought exactly, leave that life like a butterfly does and start a new, like a new born.....clean slate & the choice i make this time id have to live with the rest of my life since i was pushing 40 i thought i lived 40 years of garbage eating, partying, unhealthy life so why not live a healthy longer life. before surgery i was told by my docs that i was a perfect canidate not cause being overweight but cause i was morbidly obese, had no health issues at all, & was determined to do this, so i learned there ways and followed them daily and as i said i lost the wieght than came to the choice of doign the surgery, mom passed away in 2011 august she didnt get to see her 70th bday and i was crushed and determined to not let myself follow her footsteps and most of all live for her and how she worried for me, few months later i was laid off, still in pre op mode i was than clinically depressed and actually feeling better i got laid off and didnt have to stress on work and decided to go back to school still scheduled to do my surgery in december, i went to see a pyschiatrist who helped me in one session, he too gave me advice to sit in a room alone and cry with pics or songs that reminded me of my mom and that i was too worried about others and not myself and my pain, so i did and it worked i finally felt some happiness although mom was gone i saw life as a new and took my dad on trips with my oldest brother and was fun....yes mom wasnt there but i had opened up a new chapter in my life and was ready for the surgery...now remember i lost almost 100lbs on my own so i was still hesitant on surgery and was fighing on my choice to go thru with it. so finally i came to the conclusion that i need this to help keep me motivated and most of all not be overwight anymore and be the tool i needed and lacked in life, its not what keeps me healthy i knew that but its something that will help me in my habits of food and exercise. so fast forward to op date, i still was battling the loss of mom and would have good and bad days although every doc visit i had id get positive feedback from docs and nurses which made me feel better, than going thru so many tests to make sure i was ready, pre op tests and sleep apnia stay, etc. so i was there, finally, the day was set and i was ready. my dad and aunts (moms twin) came up to be with me seeing my aunt ernie really helped me she looks like mom and seeing her made it feel as if mom was with me BUT i still needed moms blessing and her presence so i said a lil prayer as my nurse came and told me the doc was in a surgery still and had been now for 6 hrs. so my time was bumped, so as i sat there i started to speak to my mom in my head (not a weirdo) as i often do from time to time, as i did i begged her to please show me some kind of sign, nurse comes back says "2pm your scheduled, doc is resting now", so i took a deep breathe and said ok, ill be here. as we waited we spoke to one another of mom and funny enough my father thought i was there for a hernia i had but told him what i was doing than he got a worried face on but at the same time looked at me as if to say "i know mom would of been happy you chose to do it" my dad is old school and a good man, so his unspoken words always had inpact on me cause his words were even more well received and understood, his lesson of life always taught me i was one day going to be a man and have to be a man for myself and family. so time passed and being pre op you got cords coming out of everywhere so going to the bathroom wasnt easy but nature called and i told the nurse i gotta go, my dad helped me up, walked to the restroom with me as i opened the door i said to him "dad i asked mom to be here with me, im not nervous but i just want her to be around me, tell me when you feel her k haha" she was a twin and in the years we seen some strange things she could think and do, being a twin, she would predict events, feel pain, etc. so i step in look at the clock 1:15pm, 45 min to op, im not scared, not nervous just a feeling of someone is missing, mom, my brothers had called me wish me luck, friends texted, and my loved ones were with me. i sat down on the toilet and said once more "mom give me a sign please i just want you to know im changing me, im shedding this skin, im going to live, healty, not overweight anymore,i hope you hear me i love you".....i looked towards the door and felt a cold draft and thought mom just than i got up flushed the toilet and got up looked in the bowl and saw nothing but what appeared to be feces, very dark water with no odor though and i thought i went pee not #2 so i rushed outside told my dad and just as we walked back to me room nurses came, doctors walked together with puzzlement in there faces, signs were posted all over the hospital "dont use the wated fountains or restrooms" ???? what, so no calm cool joe, is confused, looking for answers....i asked whats going on, than my curtain ripped open and my nurse tells me "there was a problem with the plumbing it got backed up just in our building and we may have to reschedule" i was shocked at my first thoughts, i instantly thought "mom", what did you do.....than i thought its a sign, a sign i shouldnt do this and i felt a weird feeling inside so i was set on "if i dont go in by 2 im not going" telling my aunts and dad over and over again see it was mom she gave me the sign not to do it, i could do it alone i have and know what i need to do....so 145 rolls around,.....155, im sitting thinking no not today not next week, forget it....i was about to rip my cords of but felt a urge to go to the restroom and sit and think for a bit hopefully revist mom in there so i walk this time alone no need for help im in panic and thinking mode as i schlep over open the door i look up, 157, nope im done....im goin home so i ran all the things i needed to keep doing to maintain and lose weight and be healty had a speech all worked out in my head for my doc, "thanks for all the support but im not doing it blah blah blah".....so i do my thing once more this time i stood up and said to myself "ohhhh mom i love and miss you and thanks for the sign, im not going to do it they said 2 and its going to be 2 so i made up my mind but i will continue on my path and not let you down"......i open the door see my nurse walking toward me as i tried to say i wasnt going to do it she and my family look at me and say, "you ready, its time" i looked at her and said "lets do it" another sign i felt the presence of mom once more but calming this time and reassuring myself this is what i need to do and after i wake im going to have a new life a clean slate and live how i should have been....so i did it..............rolled out to the room as i lay i remember people all around me my family hugged and kissed me as i went thru the doors they couldnt go past, i was approachedby nurses who strapped me down like a crazed man, so i started to get a lil nervous cause now it was real and being i never had an operation or been put under i started to get anxious as i got strapped a very nice woman came and says how you feeling i said good she than poked me as i said what was that for she says oh you'll be fine in a bit hun we are about to start, i remember saying hey i feel.....and out......8 long hrs later i awake with thee worst pain in my arms ever, waking up like jesus on the cross i yelled in pain....it felt as if i got punched over and over in my arms....so as i lay alone in my room i looked up and felt that draft again and smiled.....i had some crazy dreams of mom and family but wont go into that, so i woke up feeling as if it was a dream but knew my life was and had changed....im in the hospital very shortly and my nurse kept saying i was the best patient and was up and walking faster than anyone, never complained, ate, drank what and when i was supposed to, all was well.....i get released and go home, at this time i was current unemplyed but got a job before surgery so was goign to rest til january 14th than i begin my new job with a great company. getting home and adjusting to sleeping, eating was hard at first its weird you dont feel hungry i mean im a big guy who ate not alot but ate all the time so not being hungry was strange n new, soups became a meal for me, water was my right hand man, i began walking cause i couldnt bike anymore til i got better, id walk around the house, outside, with my dad, lay and relax, but got bored...so i always had NMEwear in thoughts as years passed i did make a few shirts and sold them and had ideas to get into the sporting fields to hear my slogans being used "NMEwear NoMoreExcuses".....as i looked around i thought all we make are excuses daily, i cant exercise cause im tired, i worked all day, im lazy, what for im fat already, the kids dinner i dont have time......EXCUSES....thats all it was and is.....i started thinking i got to make time if i want time......so i did............i spent the next few weeks drawing thinking of ideas, i didnt and dont want to do this to become rich i just think i have a interesting and inspiring story that i did all alone and of course with help and encouragement from family but the thing was i could do it...i had to have NoMoreExcuses and do what i said not make another excuse......i thought of making mma clothing, boxing stuff and put my logo NME its cathy and could be seen on those items and cool...but than sat and thought they dont know me they dont understand why NME became such a huge part of me and my training and exercise.......NME became my drive.....my inner voice....."no more excuses joe, do it, keep peddaling, keep walking, keep swimming,...keep moving...." of course i kept eating as i shoudl but i had NME as my guide to always not have an excuse....i love to bike have several bikes from bmx to road bike, also swimming & just started to do weights and walking....my thing is i love the outdoors but was embarressed people seeing me would laugh at a fat guy walking or riding a bike....but that was an excuses, right? right, it was and YOU dont have any excuses anymore....who care who sees who care who points, when just once person says "good job, how you do that loose all that weight, you look good" that takes away 100 stares, 100 laughs of your being fat.....i know its hard believe me im not in this to be like tony roberts and sell you something to make money im telling you so you get off your a$$ and yes i may not know you but i care, i care cause i been there i care cause if your struggling id like to be of some inspiration to you in anyway to see i did it and so can you.....the surgery isnt for everyone only those who know its time....and need help to keep them straight, like a alcoholic needs AA .....now i have so much energy, i walk 3 times for 15 mins at work, ride 20+ miles a day, swim, walk, play with my son, do things i never did.....people approach me all the time and say "wow i didnt recognize you you look so good" thats not what i did it for i did it for me.......my health.....my family.....its a big change but you can do it and WE post oppers are here for you.....i never wanted to post my story and never thought i would open up to strangers but this is life and if you wanna live you got to make that change.....NoMoreExcuses....i plan on making shirts and selling them to people who want to live by these words and need encouragement....im working on them now and like i said not trying to get rich just inspire the uninspired into make the right choices and changes to make a better you.....i still struglle with food, everyone loves food, but now i think about what im eat, calories, sugards, how it will aeffect me long term, fatty foods, etc. i drink alot of water being i sit all day at work i get up and walk around.....im here if you need to talk or tell me your EXCUSES.....im not here to put you down cause i know put downs dont help and im not that kind of person....id just like to see more people healty and living longerenjoying there lives with there families....LIVING........NoMoreExcuses.............DO...........Joe if your interested in shirts, sweat pants or whatever your needs with NMEwear logos email me for pics i dont want to post or advertise one here just yet NMEwear@yahoo.com