Hi everyone! This is my first time in the forum and my very first post!
My journey has been long and hard and I have had to overcome more than my share of heartbreak and ache and loss, but I am still HERE! While I have spent my last 9 years raising my incredible and amazing little girl, it seems that I also forgot to remember to take care of myself through it all and that brings me to where I am today. I am 31 years old and I weigh 274 lbs... Just typing that number makes me ashamed and sort of sick... So before I go back and delete it, I will ask for words of advice.
I know that most of us have our own stories, both good and bad that have brought us to the point which we are- here and today. We each have our own story and struggles that have caused us to reach out and take this huge leap into the gastric bypass world.
Before last month I had never considered weight loss surgery, but at the end of my last dr appt, the form they gave me said MORBIDLY OBESE... The moment I saw it, tears filled my eyes and I walked to my car and had a good cry while trying to figure out where I had gone wrong... Was it my parents divorce when I was 16?, was it being pushed by my parents to a college I didn't want to attend?, was it my abusive ex husband? Was it baby weight still? Where did the 135lb 17 year old cheerleader who had a never ending smile go? When I stopped crying and wiped the tears off my face I realized that I was the ONLY person in my life who could change the way I feel and that in order to fix myself, I also needed to learn to love myself again.
This is the beginning of my journey to find out who I really am and who I aspire to be.... I am NOT the fat girl in the corner who hides in baggy and black clothes, so I won't let that be me any longer.
Tonight I took my first step in my new journey and attended a weight loss seminar through the medical group I will be using for my RN-Y gastric Bypass surgery... I am excited and nervous and apprehensive all at the same time!! The referral has been put through and I should be receiving a phone call within the next week to schedule my first visit with the surgeon, psych eval, nutritionist, etc- from there it is just a wait for the actual date!!! I am excited for my journey and I can't wait to find myself again along the way!! I know that I have the strength to get through this and get my life going again!!!
Thanks so much for reading my story, and please please please, share your stories and triumphs and your journey with me as well! I think that having a support group will make the whole process that much more wonderful!!!
Heidi - age 32
P.S. I can't run right now, my body hates me if I try... But I promise myself that if I get through this and I get healthy, I WILL learn to run each morning as the sun rises over the mountains in the town I live in!!!! Please help me reach these goals
