sc_mama4

Dear Friends,, In May I underwent the RNY procedure through a military instillation. After it happed I developed a night mare only producers come up with with a scarie movie. in 2011 I was having extreme belly pain no one figured it out. After a billion surgeries, feeding tube and PIC line I nearly died, I live in SC age four prescritions the rest is out of pocket . can never get my kepra filled thanks to insurance companies.Iver developed the seizurs agin and now I;ve devloped espohgaus spasims, This stomach thing is killing me.PP;L jinternet said valium works on itnot so sure This surgery I initiated was not smart, I don;t ahav energh one day that i don;t feel sick. Im sick now because of it. So would I do it again,,NO. Do any of u have tricks for stopping this?/////

I wanted to post in here to ask yall a few questions I have and see if u are the same. One thing I've noticed since surgery is my body. Its as if I was made to be big and not small. Reason saying. I wear xs underwear and size 2-4 pants. My torso I have to have med shirts and large sleep clothes like the lil matching tops. I have no boobs those babies deflated and look worse than a party balloon. Really I need a tuck but I'm petrified of surgery so when I wear my pants I have to put them on top of the pooch like under my naval bc if I didn't I'd look like a man sporting a beer gut lol. My feet went from size 8.5's to size 7's. My hair is finally all back in but I still battle extremely dry itchy skin so I can critque every lotion made LOL. I'm very self conscious about my stomach and the scars I have so its still uneasy to be naked in front of my bf. When I clothes shop I still look for things to layer like I use too. I always wear a undershirt. My shirts have to go past my butt and of long sleeves have to reach around my wrists when I hold my arms up. I have yet to buy a pair of skinny jeans bc I still purchase boot cut. I'm getting better at eye contact with ppl but I still tend to walk looking at my feet. Its sad but I can't see the new girl everyone else does. Another thing I've ran into is I call it my Star Jones complex LOL. I'm very particular who I tell about my surgery. My bfs friends have no clue I'm a rny pt. He does and his family but they don't. His bestfriends wife has been doing insanity and lost a lot and I mean has an incrediable body she walks around in running bras and spandex that's how confident and beautiful her body is. Well apparently she had always been "chubby" according to them (she was in a size ten o.O) well when I met my bf he sent them my picture and all their responses was is "you really like those skinny girls don't ya?" Well I've always been that girl who hung out with the guys bc girls has always betrayed me which is why I think I did so well working as a firefighter/paramedic. Well superbowl we were over there and they were commenting at how much weight my bf has lost, bc I cook and he eats similarly to me and has lost from 230 to 192. Well he looked at his bestfriends wife and said look at how much Kel lost bc of her appendix and she turned around and said "she doesn't count she's been a twig her entire life...and that makes me sick" I just looked at her like you really have no idea. I get this stuff all the time. I'm in with my bfs bestfriend but the females in his group just treat me horrible. Its hard to be around them bc my bf wants to hang out with his bf without me up his butt but I'm so uncomfortable by myself around them and the one issue I am really having is his bestfriends brother had RNY. He gained every pound back and then more I feel really bad for him. My bfs bestf will say oh honey my brother's coming over too and she wi respond with well if this food isn't enough I can give him left overs from the past two days as if he were a dog. She says this all the time and will look at me and say stuff like its sickening ppl will allow themselves to be that lazy. When he finally gets there ppl are so snide and rude to him. I always go up to him and hug him and tell him its goof to see him. He acts like we all use and I still do and its that wanting to fit in so bad but can't attitude. Theres been several times I've wanted to grab him and take him outside and say I know how u feel I'm a gb patient also. I don't bc I'm afraid of embarrassing my bf. I don't want him to feel the need to defend me and u all know with this surgery the stigma u get and its we are lazy or took the easy route or the oh she will be the size of a house again in five years just wait. Do you all open up to outsiders when your dating? Or am I just weird or paranoid. I think it all boils down to I was bullied so bad growing up I just want to fit in now and not cause myself any drama. Can any of yall relate to this?? Sorry it was long.

i'm not sure I'm doing this right, but I wanted to volunteer to help someone since I'm 5 years out and have maintained my current weight for 2 years. I'm in South Carolina.. anybody just hollar.

I got to thinking and thought I'd ask this. The ppl here who have been overweight their whole life its a struggle. One thing I've noticed is my thinner friends stopped talking to me completely, no biggie. I want to know since your post op find anything on your body that you like. Mine is my legs and my neck. Before I had the cushion syndrome type body and now I don't. I actually got a tattoo to put on the nape of my neck and said well thats perm and gaining weight its gonna look bad. I've did a lot to inspire myself to go on.

It is a very good tool but society needs to know the dark side of it. No matter now competent the surgeon is things still can go wrong. What scares me is how mainstream this surgery has become. The bariatric community of phsyicians needs to educate their patients more on the serious side effects this surgery can cause.

Just left the Dr. After explaining to this insane nut my file he says I don't need a bariatric Dr I need a gastro Dr. Really .. and I'm to practice meditation. Yeah I'm gonna do that.....AGH!!!!

I had my surgery at Dwight D Eisenhower medical on Ft Gordon military post. I was a army wife...

I really don't know how much longer I can live in severe pain like this. Got up this morning and tried to drink got down my protein smoothy but the pain has literally not lifted at all. I have hit such a bad point I'm now drinking wine to make it stop. I have neither quality or quantity of life left. Searched down Walgreens to see what script I have I could possibly get filled out of pocket and I have nothing. I have an appt tomorrow, but I'm not sure how its gonna go. If I didn't have children and an amazing guy holding me up y'all I'd give up and die I'm to that point. This really blows. I can't be admitted because I refuse to make ppl take time off work for me yet again. I feel like a burden on my boyfriends family(bc that's all I have now) and really sit and wonder when is my boyfriend going to say to hell with this shit and walk off. He's so terrified he's left work and drove home in the middle of the night to make sure I'm still breathing. I can't imagine the fear he has. I wanted a life from this surgery I didn't expect to make such a bad deal with the devil when I got on that table... really bad day. Whats sad is its beautiful out and I'm yet again on the couch. Seriously how much more can a human being take before they give up?

Never forget we are ALL walking the same walk and deserve the same support no matter what! [ATTACH]3161[/ATTACH]

Over the past month I have had times where my feet and hands will swell up so huge they feel like their gonna bust. Im not a salt eater so Idk why I'm retaining like this have any of u all experienced it and were u able to fix it w medication?? [ATTACH]3159[/ATTACH] Its sudden and I can't figure out why.

Yup ur right bout the buttons part. Thanks for ur reply. Yall have helped me a lot made me feel better and I appreciate it. A lot.

I don't want to be the constant bringer up of the shit we've been put through being fat. We know don't need reminders, but it seems as I've got small I have to continue to put up with being bullied just to keep the peace. My boyfriend whom I love honestly more than any other man I've ever loved in my life has absolutely no idea the hell I've been through. He was the popular boy, well to do brought up happy all american everything came to him when needed. Me, the girl fat made fun of never allowed in groups constantly talked about and put down and just to have socialization I learned to accept the fat girl jokes as my way of fitting in. Today, he and I had a beautiful day. We went to the masters watched golf and I wound up getting sick, dehydrated and vomited. Wound up having to go to first aid and be treated by a doc and get some zofran because the vomiting was pretty bad. Monday I had a severe seizure and that has left me this entire week weak sick tired lethargic and just plain sick. Today wondering around I was walking slow and he got upset and said he didn't want to walk like we were retarded at such a slow pace. I just couldn't keep up and then boom the vomiting started. On our way home I told him was his best friend going to come over to pick up the masters tickets for tomorrow or what. He said no we are going to drive them over. It's 11pm and all three kids are asleep and I for one and wore out. His buddy's kids were at a sleep over and they were having a party at their house. I said why can't he swing by in the morning to pick them up. I'm hit with instant attitude. He just doesn't get keeping me and my three kids out past midnight isn't such a problem. When I brought it up that I'm good to him and I take good care of hi and how he treats me at times it hurts he told me basically I live my life in a woes me kinda style. I didn't have this or that so wahh I didn't get this and I'm going to continue to live my life as the victim in my life. I don't understand. I want him to understand as a parent you put your kids first. When your first can drive by the next day to get tickets let that occur don't put them above the familly you "say" is your family. Then he brings up when we were first six mos together i wsa never sickand now I constantly i am. I'm tired and I keep viruses ever since I had my appendix rupture in November. Then this monday I have this seizure. I just want him to understand he's a dad. his family comes first .. like I put my family first I don't get it. I want help understanding somebody tell me if I"m wrong or if I'm right I need help. Thanks a lot for your responses.

He really is an amazing man. I actually talked to his best friend last night. One thing I told him is for one Austin is 37yrs old. He's never had a child and then suddenly he meets me a mom with three 11,9 and 3. He immediately delve into the role of dad, trying like all new dads do. One thing I think he struggles with is learning to put them completely first. He doesn't quiet get that its not smart to be out on holidays late at night because of drunks or because their tired etc. I talked to his best friend who's been a dad for 11 years like me and he said he's gonna see if he can kinda get him to that final ah-ha dad moment of okay it really isn't about me anymore. He plans on adopting my son and is adamantly trying with the girls. I'm frustrated because when he gets in these moods he gets hateful, stubborn and he doesn't get its about the kids. So I'm trying to figure out HOW to get him to see this and stop it because he's did this sorta thing more than once. His mom actually had to jump him one night before he just kept lingering around talking and she was was like "AUSTIN YOUR KIDS HAVE TO GO TO BED!" I try to say stuff, but then thats when his defensiveness kicks in. So what do u do? Whats worse is we're dealing with a shrink.. he's a psychologist himself. o.O

I deleted this bc I don't want him reading that I shared our convo. Thanks for the messages and responses u guys I appreciate it.

I just wanted understanding of how to have a man understand at 11pm when ur friend is with friends and their kids are gone and my kids are tired a d asleep didn't need to be drove 30mins to hand deliver tickets when he was driving by our house this morning. He said he didn't want to get up to give them to him. I just don't understand how when he's been sick this entire week I've took great care of him. But I get sick vomit get attitude bc I'm walking slow and then told I don't like his friends bc I just wanted ro cone home a d lay down. Sorry I just wanted to be vent bc my feelings where hurt when I do so much fo someone I'm treated like that. That's all.

Yes I've been in therapy since 2004 and I see my current therapist once a week. Thanks for all your comments I appreciate the honesty. To be hon est would it be easier if I just not post here anymore? A honest answer would be appreciated. Also, I've tried to live on my own I was robbed twice which is why I decided to do the move I did. To repeat myself I have my family mothers dead, fathers left at ,9mos and no siblings what so ever so. Its essentially me and them and ppl who don't pay child support hardly.

That's ur support sissy. U stay there. That's how my boyfriends family is. I stay strong u got support and it will het closer and bond tighter.

Just like I said before u can say I love u but at this moment I can't cope with this. Not everyone has that leave it to beaver family. I for one do not. My family hurt me worse than any stranger from the street. Do I love them yes but do I want to constantly be put down cry and get so physically upset I vomit hell no. So I surrounded myself with the ppl who truly were there for me and five years later they are still there my family ha is not. Misery loves company and you've been miserable long enough! And enough is enough take control of ur weight, ur life and ur happiness. Im sorry but unless you have family members like this u really don't understand the toll it can take. Not everybody has a great support system when it comes to this and I for one can say I didn't and I've lived this constant chaos and I'm sorry to be blunt but its bullshit needs to be stopped. Sometimes it takes a big wake up call to prove ur point. Leave on terms of I love you but I can't handle the stress...end of converstaion and walk off.

I remember I was around 3 mos and my daughter came up to me and for the first I'm in my life my lil girls arms went around me. When I think of this it gives me so much encouragment to go on. What was yalls ?

Yeah mine too get use to it its like a guys favorite thing to do o.O

Yeah I will never forget it either and u know what is so great is my daughter's were young when I had it so they don't remember me being heavy at all. That's the great part. =D