Lisa B.

[size=4][color=#800080][font=comic sans ms', cursive]Since the age of ten, I was told "You have the potential to be a very large woman". That has haunted me over the past 35 years. Every time I ate something I felt guilty about.. I would make excuses to myself saying "Okay, this is the last time I am eating this..." Of course I never stuck with that thought because here I am 2 weeks before my gastric bypass surgery wondering why I failed so many times to lose the weight. I never thought I was the kind of person that ate more than the average person, but portion control has been the most difficult thing for me to master. I know the doctor said my genetic background plays a part into my health history, but I am smart enough to know that some of this could have been better controlled on my part. After I had my two children, I let my weight control me. I didn't have the energy or drive to go exercise. Everyday I would tell myself I am going to spend a little time on me... but that never happened until recently. Being overweight played a major part in my divorce. I didn't realize then how much it had a negative impact on being intimate with my husband. Speaking of intimacy, let's talk about Victoria Secrets... I see all these women buying lingerie from there... I can't even fit into anything they have to sell!!! It's really depressing! I absolutely hate going to the mall. I would need a new pair of pants and end up coming home with something for my kids. Window shopping was "fun"... I would find an awesome outfit and dream about wearing it. Unfortunately, I couldn't fit into anything I really wanted to buy. I had heard about gastric bypass surgery but was too afraid to get a consult. I thought my family would not approve. Now that my children are graduating from high school I decided it was time to do something for myself. So, I built up enough courage to seek medical advice. After my initial visit, I found out the benefits of surgery for my health and that I would be a perfect candidate. That was a relief because I really hate being an insulin dependent diabetic. I want to be off my insulin pump if at all possible. I want to lose weight and feel comfortable about myself enough to begin swimming again or joining a gym.[/font][/color][/size]