I am sorry you're experiencing this hard time. My biggest fear is "failing". I'm 11 months out from RNY and down 136 lbs. I know this wasn't a decision any of us made overnight so change will take a long time. Work at it every day. So, one day at a time, one hour, or one minute. Whatever you need to do. Google the world according to eggface. This blog has been invaluable to me on so many levels. Also are you attending support groups? If you can I also suggest checking in with your dietitian. I've done so several times and go back again soon. I'm obsessed with my FitBit and myfitnesspal. And I've been reading books by others who had WLS. Helps to see we aren't alone! I wish you all the best. This is one tough journey but one I would choose again in a second.