Cecilia

I'm going back and reading this thread from the first. I'll bet your hubby has heard stories. I've been chatting with this guy whose wife left him after getting surgery.

Well hi there everybody! I just realized where everyone was hanging out. I posted a rather long-winded introduction on the "Fabulous February Post-Op" discussion. Did you guys want me to introduce myself here? Cecilia p.s. Just ordered some of this: Syntrax nectar Fuzzy Navel Protein shake. I'm wondering if any of you tried it. I realized I was getting a lot of carbs and fat from the shake my mom recommended, so I thought I'd try something different.

Update: As of Day 6 postop, I had lost 15 crazy pounds. Advanced diet to include Protein shake, and I gained a pound back and have stalled. So don't be jealous. I probably should just be weighing weekly, but it's so exciting to jump on the scale these days... except the last two days. My dietitian gave me loads of info on what to eat and not to eat, but no actual numbers to aim for. I mean, I know I need 60 grams of protein per day, and no more than a suggestion of fats, but I have no idea what the carb limit is, and the Protein Shake I found that tastes delish (Muscle Milk) has 300 calories per 30 grams of protein. There have to be "lighter" ones out there... but maybe those are the ones that taste gross? Any suggestions welcome.

I'm so sorry to hear about your other complications. My mom has fibromyalgia, and the way she describes it, some days can be truly awful, and the rest of the days are just dealing with chronic low-level pain. Groan! But the surgery and dramatic weight loss have helped her tremendously. (she had the surgery a year ago) Please don't think for a minute that I was putting you in the class of people who walk through the door at our unit. Naturally, I worry about anyone getting addicted (myself included -- I was seriously tripping on the dilaudid they gave me in the hospital. I could easily see trying to buy that on the street!) I hope the weight loss works wonders for you too! Take care, and keep taking it easy!! Cecilia

Thanks for your feedback!

I have a question for those of you who are 6 or more months out, where the weight loss is dramatic and showing. I imagine you have had a lot of people ask you about your weight loss and offer their (welcome or not so much) opinion. How do you reply to people who say: "But you weren't that heavy to begin with!" or "My (insert friend/relative) did that surgery and (insert complication)." or "I would never do that to my body!" I realize most of these comments are well-meant, or at least not born of maliciousness, so I want to provide a polite response that will not offend the person offering them. What has worked for you? Thank you!!!

Dear Kat, I am so sorry to hear you are still in so much pain. People who are not in pain have no idea how all-consuming it can be. From a professional perspective, I can tell you that addiction to pain meds is a real concern from the prescriber's standpoint. I can't tell you how many people I see walk through the doors of my unit suicidal because they just can't deal with the pain any more. And they are on massive amounts of narcotics. And they walk around and move the way someone you or I would think is really in not that much pain. (?) So where is the pain? Is it real? We have a whole unit (Pain Rehab Clinic) devoted to weaning people off of narcotics and teaching them how to live with moderate amounts of pain in their lives. The pain is real, (and I'm not talking about you now, I'm talking about suicidal/addicted patients) but it's also in their brains. Not "in their head" but in the connections between the nerves in their brains. Once you become dependent on narcotics it hurts to quit, just like it hurts to quit street drugs or cigarrettes. My suggestions: 1. Are you taking Tylenol 1000mg every 6 hours around the clock? If not, you should be. It's important to do everything you can to stay on top of the pain with non-narcotic meds. 2. Are you rating your pain? Meaning, can you differentiate between when it's a 4/10 versus 8/10? Use your narcotics for when you can rate your pain at 5/10 or higher. Eventually, you can use them for pain that's 6/10, then 8/10, then you're weaned. 3. Are you getting enough rest? Don't make the pain worse by doing things you can't do yet. Your priority is you, healing your internal wounds, letting your body recover. Don't use the pain meds to get up and clean house. That's what the kids and hubby are for. 4. What are you doing to manage the pain aside from pills? Have hot showers worked? Hot pack? Alternating hot and ice? Deep breathing? Listening to a meditation CD (there is a ton of free stuff on the web - look for guided meditation). 5. Continue to rate your pain. Keep a chart. Every 2-4 hours write down what you were doing, and what your pain was. It might help you spot a pattern of what works and what makes it worse, and it will give you very good documentation to take to your doctor if it doesn't start getting better within the next few days. I hope this helps. I'll take my nurse's cap off now and go shower. Cecilia

I got the book, and I'm loving it! In lieu of a review, I invite you to take a look at my blog (follow if you like). I will be working through the book in the blog, and this will have the double-benefit of distracting me from wanting to eat for the sake of eating, as well as hopefully helping me tease out the negative and harmful self-talk until I can banish it completely. I do highly recommend the book!

Bwaaaa-hahahahahaha!

I wonder if this isn't a little like having the baby blues after having a baby. Or dreading going to work after a real relaxing vacation. It's the beginning of something new, and it's a huge learning curve. What you're feeling is perfectly normal. Now, as a psych nurse, I would recommend distraction. Find something else to do. Move to another room in the house. Go outside for a walk (anywhere has got to be warmer than Minnesota is right now!). Call a friend and find out how THEY are doing. Move your focus outward. I hope this helps!

This will be a big challenge for me when I return to work, too. I'm glad I was able to take a full month off. At least the lunches I pack won't have to be pureed! Still, I feel for you. Last night I made my family chicken fettucini alfredo and I mourned not being able to eat with them. But I did take the pan drippings where I seared the chicken (all those goodie bits were stuck to the pan) and dumped in 2 cups of Water and a bullion cube. Poured it through a strainer and had dinner with them.

The benefits of weight loss.

How cool is that! Welcome to the hang-out! Do you prefer not to chat on these forums or are you just offering another way to be in touch? I'm just saying because, as you know, support groups are soo healthy, and I'd hate to deprive the group of your insights by taking them off to a private chat... Where do you work? Inpatient or out? Cecilia

Awww... I'm sending you a big (((hug!))) Just curious... what time of the day was this at? I ask, because at least at our house it is a well-known fact that if things are going to get emotional, it's going to be between dinner and bedtime, especially if someone has been stressed to begin with. Be kind to yourself. I'll bet by the time you're reading this in the morning you'll be feeling much better already. Give your boy a hug and tell him that although he did break a rule, it wasn't what made you cry. Remember, you just got your digestive tract rerouted! Even though it's easy to forget, because at least for me, the 5 little bandaid incisions are already mostly healed up, your body is still working really hard to sort out the new way things work inside, you're calorie deprived (and we know how much the brain needs food!), etc. God forgive me for that run-on sentence. Hey, if it makes you feel better, for the last two days I've had legit, wake up in a wet-spot, have to turn over the pillow night sweats. What's that all about?

Monday night update: I overdid it yesterday, this is true, but when I got a good sleep I woke up and was rested but still wretchedly nauseated. I called my surgeon's service and was told to go get some Milk of Magnesia. See, unlike some other people's experiences, they let me go home on day 3 with toots alone. When I mentioned that I hadn't had a BM in 6 days they told me that could be contributing to the nausea. So. Got my MoM, took a big swig, and have been rockin' that poop all day long - LOL! Nausea is also is nearly gone. Who knew? On another topic, I am SICK TO DEATH of the Clear liquids diet. Can't wait to advance to puree on Wednesday! Good evening y'all! Thanks for keeping me sane!

Hey! That's cool! Nice to meet you! At least we'll make sure the information stays safe for everyone involved. My mom was on a board where people were sharing tips on how to eat all your favorite sweets without getting sick and that sort of thing. Groan!

The book is "Life Without Ed." It's more about people with bulimia (and if you had bulimia, you probably would not have been approved for this surgery), but even though it hasn't arrived yet, I suspect it will be a good read anyway. I could write a five-page essay about my thoughts on eating disorders, but I'll try to summarize. It's like many other things: a sliding scale. You make a bad choice, you do it enough times that it becomes a habit, then you forget how to deal with whatever it was you made the bad choice about without your habit. Then the habit no longer satisfies, and you need more and more of it to feel like yourself. We could be talking about nicotine, drugs, surfing the web, gambling, skipping meals, eating when we're not hungry... it's all the same as far as I'm concerned. Once the habit becomes strongly entrenched, the brain begins to make changes to conform. Hence, when you withdraw the action that was part of maintaining the status quo, we suffer. REALLY and literally suffer. But it's temporary. Just like we made old habits, we can make new ones. Anyway, I'll give you a book report in a week or so and let you know if I think it's worth buying or checking out at the library.

Come join the discussion at Fabulous February Post-ops!

My sympathies, Kat! Just think--by getting healthier yourself, you'll be in a better position to take care of your dad in years ahead. Also, you'll be healthier when you reach the age he is now, and you won't give your kids the scare he gave you! ((hugs!)) Cecilia

By the way, I don't know if I ever introduced myself formally here. My name is Cecilia. I'm a registered nurse, working in a psychiatric hospital in the midwest. I may not be able to help with questions about the medical side of things, but I probably can help with the emotional side of things. I was diagnosed with Graves Disease a few months before the surgery, so there was a last minute push to get my thyroid killed off so that it would be safe to do surgery. The upshot was that the whole year that I was going through the program and waiting for a surgery date and whatnot, I was losing about a pound a week without trying. Well... I chalked it up to mindful eating, better food choices, smaller portions, etc, (what we had been taught in the 3-month class I had to take) but in fact it was just my metabolism chewing through the calories I consumed and then some. Toward the end, the dietitian told me in confidence, not to lose any more weight because if I did, the insurance company would no longer pay for the surgery. So it was an odd balancing act of trying to eat healthy, but not lose weight. Long story short, I get a lot of those You don't look big enough to need surgery! and Why get the surgery? You were losing weight just fine! (yah, thanks to my overactive thyroid). I didn't tell anyone at work before leaving, and only my mom (supportive), my brother and his wife (not approving but grudgingly supportive), and my best friend (believes I'm beautiful the way I am--which I am, but that's not the point--and that all I needed was a little more exercise.) It's nice to have this supportive forum. It got me through a rough night last night! Cecilia

OMG! Me too! I since I'm off work for a month I've taken to sleeping until I wake up naturally. I've had some CRRRRAZY dreams! Many of them involve eating foods and having terrible remorse at having messed up my diet, LOL! Cecilia

I was feeling pretty awful last night. Just wishing to GOD I could eat some real food, wondering what was so bad about being fat and uncomfortable all the time--at least I could drown my sorrows in a pint of Ben and Jerry's... Then I woke up this morning feeling much better too. Moral of the story: THINGS ALWAYS LOOK BETTER IN THE MORNING.

I've been googling what things mean such as onederland and NSV... I thought there might be a FAQ somewhere here that I could reference, but I can't find it. Any help?

Well, yesterday I did a quick run to the store with the girls (was that really only day 3 postop? What the hell was I thinking?) and it went great. Came home, no tiredness, slept like a baby. Weaning almost off of the pain pills except for Tylenol now and then. So today I feel like a champ and decide to do another little excursion. To JCP to exchange a jacket, then to the library to let my daughter pick up a book. Out and back in 30 minutes, 45 tops. Except it didn't go that way. JCP turned into "Mom, can we just get some jeans for the dance next weekend?" then "They don't have good tees here... can we go to Hot Topic?" By the time we got to Hot Topic I had to sit down on the display areas because I was getting winded. Then the library went from "just that one book" to "do you mind if I quick check out the Manga section?" and "I'm just going to reserve these two books, okay?" with me sitting in one of the chairs. I hobbled back to the car, drove straight home, and flopped down on the couch. Total time out: 2.5 hours. Now I'm behind on my fluids and drinking feels like a real chore. Getting nauseated for the first time. I'm catching up on fluids, but to get them all in I may have to stay up till midnight (not happening). Lesson learned: DON'T OVERDO IT. Cecilia