Debbiebydesign

I have been some sort of fat my whole life. Being a fat kid is not easy-40 years ago or now. I always sensed people were saw me as "less" than other kids- less smart, less pretty, less cute. Some of my own family members teased me, called me "tons of fun," or picked on me. I remember being a lonely, shy kid, but smart and artistic. I remember over hearing that my cousin didn't want me as her flowergirl because of my weight, my dance teacher asking my mother not to bring me back, my aunt telling me to my face that I was so fat and ugly I belonged in a dog pound. If someone asked me then to describe myself, I would have said "deformed." It was what I was told, and how I felt. I lost weight, after a lot of effort as a teen and young adult, only to face some losses in my early adulthood where antidepressants and food help me get through some dark times. Somewhere in my late 20's I started feeling better emotionally. I began working in the mental health field where I learned to be strong and assertive. I met the love of my life and had a beautiful little girl, who don't know me as anything but obese, but who love me anyway. I am now a confident adult, with many blessings, but still that shy fragile kid still is there and cringes when someone calls me names because of my weight. I'm looking forward to no longer being a "fat chick," but just a regular wife and mother. I made the decision to finally looking into RYN this year after a vacation with my family caught me huffing and puffing as I followed my family across the country. The pictures from that trip were a wake call for me. I'm diabetic, with asthma, borderline hypertension, and I needed to lose the weight if I was going to be there for my child.