NancyW

I have been struggling lately when I stumbled upon this app. The forums of the hospital where I had my surgery done was filled with snobs and people judging which was unbelievable to me. I tried to be supportive and helpful for others and got knocked down a lot. I finally unsubscribed and left. Since only people who have the surgery can understand what life is like afterward, I have found myself alone for a while now. I have a wonderful support system at home but again, their understanding is limited. I am 1 year and 5 days shy of 8 months since my surgery. I'd like to share my story but I'm feeling things out first. It's a heck of a story lol. I have blogged a lot of it but share it with very few since I find people can be cruel. Like I'm weak for having surgery instead of doing it "the right way". I hope I found a new home

Hello again all. Hope everyone is doing well

I prefer the 93% lean Ground Turkey to Beef but thats me. These are nice and high in protein! Good stuff (I'm not sure why copy and paste messed up the fonts and spacing but...) Tex Mex Lasagna Vegetable cooking spray 1 pound ground beef, turkey 1 medium onion, finely diced 2 teaspoons Taco Seasoning One 16-ounce can non-fat refried Beans 1 cup salsa, divided One 15-ounce container non-fat Ricotta cheese 2 cups shredded non-fat Monterey Jack cheese, divided 24 round wonton wrappers (or 12 egg roll wrappers for a large casserole) - They are in most produce sections Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray 9x13 inch baking pan and set aside. If using cups, place them on a cookie sheet. In a large skillet, over medium heat, cook beef or turkey and onions until meat in no longer pink and onions are tender. Drain if necessary. Stir in chili or taco seasoning, refried beans, and 3/4 cup of the salsa. Set aside to cool slightly. In a medium bowl combine ricotta cheese and 1 1/2 cups of the Monterey Jack cheese and set aside. Place wrappers on the bottom of the pan, spoon on half of meat mixture and half of cheese mixture. Repeat with wrapper, meat and cheese. Place 1/2 teaspoon of the remaining salsa on each cup or spread onto casserole. Top with remaining Jack cheese. Bake 25 min MexiCali Meatloaf 1 lb ground beef or1 lb ground turkey 1 cup salsa, liquid (mild or medium, depending on your preference) 3 eggs (or equivalent Egg Beaters if you prefer) 2 cups finely non-fat shredded cheese (I used Mexican blend) 2 tbsp garlic powder 2 tbsp onion powder 1 tbsp Montreal Steak Seasoning 1 packet Goya Sazon Seasoning Mix Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees. In a large mixing bowl, combine all ingredients until thoroughly blended. The mixture should still feel moist to the touch but form a ball easily. If it seems too wet, add a bit more cheese to firm it up more. Here's a secret to avoiding all that extra grease collecting in the bottom of the pan. Place a piece of bread (stale bread is fine, you're not going to eat it) on the bottom of the pan to line it before you put your meat mixture in. Form into loaf, place on bread slices and bake about 45 min to an hour depending on the meatlof size depending on your oven and how big the meatloaf is. Mix about 4-5 tbs of salsa with 2-3 tbs of ketchup and top meatloaf during the last few minutes of cooking. Remove bread from bottom before serving Mexican Beef & Bean Bake 2 lbs. Ground Turkey or Beef 2 Yellow Onion, diced 1 Green Pepper 1 can (15 oz.) Black Beans, rinsed & drained 1 can (15 oz.) Red Kidney Beans, rinsed & drained 4 oz Fat-Free Cream Cheese 1 can (10 3/4 oz.) healthy choice Cheese Soup 1/2 cup Shredded Non-Fat Mexican Blend Cheese Sauté onions and peppers. Sauté ground meat, drain. Drain and rinse beans. Mix all together except cheese and put in pan. Top with cheese and Bake 30 min at 350.

1 Ready Made Pie Crust 1 Box (3 oz.) sugar free strawberry Jello (or any flavor of course) 2/3 Cup boiling Water 16 oz. Non-fat Cottage cheese 2 Bricks Non-fat Cream Cheese 2 Tbs. Splenda 1 Tsp. vanilla Dissolve Jello in Water. Puree cottage cheese until creamy, give it enough time, ALL lumps will be gone. (I just used a blender for this) Add Jello and blend, then add cream cheese, sugar and vanilla. Process all ingredients until smooth. Pour into premade crust. Refrigerate at least 4 hours.

Change certainly is never easy. But as the saying goes. nothing worth having comes easy. This in my opinion one of the hardest things I can think of in regards to life changes. Lets face it, if you are an alcoholic, addicted to drugs, you fight to break that addiction, turn away from the drugs/alcohol and you work hard to never look back. But we have the more difficult task (NOT NOT NOT that I;m downplaying recovering addicts, I have tremendopus respect for them) but we can't walk away from our addiction...food. We have to face it every day, making it a daily battle. But deciding to do this, to get the sugery, to change our lives, shows we DO have the strength. Some days its just harder to find then others EEsMom...don't let the hurdles discourage you, so many of us had to go through them. Lets face it, we are doing this because we suffer health issues, so no wonder we hit some walls along the way! Each step though, is one step closer. Good luck to you!!! Heres another blog... Posted 3/23/11 One more week makes it 3 months. 3 months. Funny, I would think time would have felt like it flew. IT HASN'T! hehe. Its been a long 3 months if you ask me. Just yesterday and last night I was sick again. I know, I know, try not to be shocked. I wonder if that's ever going to stop or if it's a permanent price to pay. Not that its the end of the world, I mean this is annoying but diabetes would have eventually killed me. So its seemingly a small price. But on days like that I do find myself a little...perturbed. For all the seminars, meetings etc that I went to no one spoke about these down sides. Yes, yes they talked about eating too fast or too much making you sick, or eating the wrong thing may give you "dumping syndrome" (Really? with all the medical jargon out there they couldn't come up with a better phrase? Come on, that’s just gross) anyway... I don't know if they would tell us ahead of time of ALL the negative consequences that a lot of people would change their minds. I really don't think it would deter anyone. Hell, I made sure at the seminar I asked all about death rates from the surgery and that kind of stuff. Now mind you, they didn’t have it as part of the whole presentation but they did most graciously answer my questions.(Leave it to me to scare everyone) But anyway, why omit anything at all? I'm sorry but I had no idea how sick I was going to be all the time. Last night I was barely able to hold my Vitamins down. That’s just crazy! But it is what it is. I was talking to a friend of mine who told me he ran into an old friend. She had once been like 400 lbs, had the surgery a year ago and was looking and doing great. Then he told me she said yes, she still felt sick a lot.... ... ... ... A YEAR LATER?! So I gave up one sickness for another lol. Well ok, being nauseous all the time wont kill me so this is the better deal but I do find some kind of twisted amusement in this. All I know is that I have indeed learned this: I once claimed that having surgery was "taking the easy route" Well it may have been the fast route but easy? LIKE HELL!!! It has its own price, a worthy one but a price nonetheless... Call it karma, call it cosmic justice... just call me in some tums. Have a great holiday everyone!!

Thank you everyone, being an inspiration to even just one person is...an amazing feeling. I certainly hope I can continue to help in any way Springerboy...I know the feeling. Even after all this time thats still a battle. We are taught all our lives to "clean the plate" Going to restaurants? Man, the portions they give!! Once again, allowing us to believe thats what we SHOULD be eating. How many people eat until they are full? We all do! Well most. But thats not really how we should eat. food is fuel for our bodies, yes we can enjoy and should but we have to remember, eat to energize, to sustain. Eat until you are satisfied, not full. We arent meant to eat until we cant eat anymore yet thats what we know, how we've lived! I still sometimes (ok a lot of times) sit down to dinner and it tastes SO good I want more!!! Its a fight to stop, sometimes I literally get mad, I want to enjoy it damn it! lol! Its hard to push that meal away and tell myself, Im satisfied and thats all I need to be. My body has told me I've eaten enough and I dont want it telling me I had too much, that only causes a night of being sick and that extra mouthful now just ruined that whole meal I was enjoying. Yes we have to look at food diferently, again not to say we shouldnt enjoy, we can and should but relearning limitations in a society that teaches gluttony by oversized portions and "all you can eat" buffets is something that we have to work on. Again, this is how Americans were generally raised so why would we think different? Because we are the ones, the lucky ones, who know better now. Who know that by changing our way of viewing cooking, food and living this new life that we have the oppertunity to do what so many other people can't...have a new life, a better one!! Fight the fight!!! I'm right there with you while you do! New blog entry coming soon

I'll be honest, I was SO turned off by the people I came across at St. Luke's that I have faced most of my journey alone (sans family of course but we know thats not the same) I had no interest in support groups since the people I came across were not... supportive LOL! Sounds to me like you're doing wonderful! Grats and keep up the great work!!!

I'm having trouble putting my avatar in. It cropped my pic wrong and my profile picture was my chest LOL!!!!

1 year and 5 months lol! Had mine in Dec 2010 Happy to meet another Pennsylvanian! (is that a word?) 3 months out? How are you feeling????

LOL! I'm glad if even just a few people read. If I'm really lucky I can give hope, maybe inspire, give a little "education" and mostly make people smile. If I accomplish that, I'm thrilled!!

Heres something a bit lighter . More insite to the whole weightloss issue in general but still, it was a blog therefore I must post Posted February 10, 2011 I never thought I would find pleasure in jamming a needle in my fingertips. Well ok, let me rephrase. I never thought it would make me smile. Ok no matter how I say that it just comes out wrong. But I think you get the point. That stupid diabetes has been with me for 12, almost 13 years now. I've been on meds twice a day, insulin 4 times, then no insulin, then down to pills once a day, back to twice a day, back to insulin which led to this run-on sentence. The numbers on my meter matched my weight loss and gain. It was like some sort of evil payback. Gain weight, more needles, lose weight less needles. The answer was simple. Just lose weight. Riiight. That's why 64% of Americans are overweight. The fat-stats are frightening. Of that 64%, 31% are "obese". Do you realize the significance of that? Lets play a number game. There is approx. 308,000,000 in the United States. (oh stop googling it, the point here not for 100% accuracy...now stay with me) So take 64% of that at you have 110,880,000. Thats insane. Look, I'm not criticizing people who are horizontally challenged. Hell I've been one my whole life and I still am. I just find those fact..scary? Nah, I find them bull. What, you ask? You heard me. Total bull. Yes, I believe its a conspiracy. I'm serious. Really, stop laughing. I'm no conspirisist...c..o..n..whatever. But I do believe there are companies (and parts of government but we wont go there) that are in cahoots. Hear me out. I have been diabetic for almost 15 years. AH HA! Its 13, did you remember that or are you pretending to read? Anyway, in that time I saw the numbers for what they considered "diabetic" drop 3 times. When I was preggers, the number to be under was 140. Now days thats reason to go on meds. Really? Are you sitting there telling me you find it inconceivable that there are underground dealings between the medical field and the drug companies? Can you say kickbacks? When was the last time you went to the Dr and he didn't want to give you or someone in your family, a neighbor, a friend, a pet some kind of drug? Hell they told me when my daughter was 3 (lots of problems, long story and not for here lol) that she would need meds when she was older. Really? Are you a Dr or a psychic? Did they call the psychic hotline? And you'll note that my daughter is almost 14 and doesn't take nor need them. Now, a 5 foot 7 Inch woman weighing 160 lbs is considered overweight and at risk for weight related diseases. Again I ask, really? A number on paper or a website does not define us. We are not created from cookie cutters, making us all the same. But it doesnt matter. Does it? This surgery I had, to qualify, you need only have a BMI of 51%. Thats all you need. You can be healthy as a horse, next to some 110 LB person who is sickly, but your eligable for surgery. No one sees a problem here? Not everyone who is overweight by these BMI standards is unhealthy. Or even overweight for that matter. Remember the 5'7 chick? Ok, enough of that. So anyway. I will admit that its a pleasure to see the monitor reading such low numbers. Curious though... 2 Drs told me after the surgery that as long as my numbers were under 140 they would be thrilled. Remeber that number? Interesting, no? Have a great day everyone!

It was a rather lengthy post that was also rather heavy. I decided to take it down. Sorry

I'm glad! I know my family loves it and I use all different flavored Jello to make different cheesecakes. I found apricot jello but not sugar free so I'm on the hunt for that!! Sorry I have no stats on the dish nutrition wise

Sorry, removed that last post

So I did all the required testing for weeks before trying to cram everything in so I can get the surgery before years end (thank you for always making things complicated Mr. Insurance Company). But I got it all in and was ready to go, having lost my required 20 lbs before the surgery. As they prepped me my surgeon came in (*insert angelic singing*) I love that man!! He warned me once again, there IS the possibility that with my prior surgeries, scar tissue and whatever else they find that they would not be able to do the proceedure. Ouch. Imagine going through all this then waking up and hearing...sorry that was all for nothing. But... onward we went. The surgery was supposed to take an hour and a half. At that time the doctor went to the waiting room to talk to my ex and my son. He told them he didnt know if he was going to be able to do it. There were all kinds of complications, but he wouldnt give up. But also couldn't make any promises. He left them there, worried and praying but informed. Another hour and a half later he came out and said it was rough but he made it., They had to "take me apart to put me back together to take me apart" lol ok, whatever, it worked. I did have 7 incisions instead of 5, but small price to pay of you ask me. My recovery was long. I should have been home from the hospital in a day or 2 I was there 5. I remember asking my ex to kill me lol! I would say over and over, what did I do? What did I do? Oh, I know, saved my life. Minor detail. I just wasnt looking at it that way. The sips of liquid the laps around the hospital were brutal. If my ex and son didnt push me I would have never moved. But I did and each day got better. Some nights I even did my laps alone. But I was just so...beaten. Tired, sick, in pain and really whinny!!! I was filled with regret. A useless emotion but at the time, it didnt matter, I wished I could reverse things and take it back. This, to me, did NOT seem worth it. But of course, I was living in the moment, not looking at the big picture. Not realizing that what I had done, although so horrendous at that moment, would change mylife for the better. No, it would save my life. Posted January 30, 2011 (1 month and 1 day after surgery) The Bad Wow did this start out as a horrid day! I felt crappy (well thats any given day now) and work was hell. I really hate this constant sickness. Every day is the same, nausea, tired, shakey. I left a message on the hospital forums where I had my surgery. The doctors and rest of the team monitor the boards too. Well I left a post on there about how I'm feeling and that I was starting to regret what I had done. The surgery that is. Ok, regret is a useless emotion but still, if I wanna whine then damn it I'm gonna whine! Well everyone said the same thing. "Are you taking your vitamions?" First I said what is a vitamion but then I realized I just made a typo there. Anyway, moving on. Oh the vitamins! Riiiight. Ok is the Dr or hospital going to SUPPLY them to me? Of course not. Oh I see, my health is dependant on taking them. Sorry kids no dinner tonight, but hey! I have my vitamins! I repeat, riiiiight. OK I went on Amazon and found them for a somewhat reasonable price but damn, another expense The Good The Nutritionists who monitor the boards suggested I call my Dr since the "shakey" and tired could be my diabetes meds. So I called and reported my numbers. Know what the Dr said? "Stop taking them but continue to monitor your blood suger" OMG! Yes, call the newspapers! stop the presses! Let the pigions loose!! I am no longer on any diabetes meds! *bow* I'd like to thank the academy... The Ugly Have people said I look like I lost a lot of weight? Yes. But it always seems to be people who knew I had the surgery. What does that tell me? I sometimes wonder if I will ever look in the mirror and see something different. Is that why I had this done? No, but it would be a nice um...perk? ok all, that'll do it for now Yours till Niagara Falls Have a great day everyone!

Pictures always say it best, you look awesome! Grats!

Thank you! *hug* You know, I'm sitting here listening the GMA. They are talking about someone famous (sorry the name escapes me) that lost a lot of weight recently. "She did it without surgery or gimmicks..." See, now there is the problem. No wonder people are so judgmental! Thats why I rarely tell anyone how I lost it. When the media downplays this method, makes it like we are doing something wrong, the stigma of being weak, and bad for having the surgery will never go away. Shame on the media... My morning thought... When will the scale stop mocking me? Its like a daily showdown. I circle and tell it "ok, scale, its either you or me, one of us is going down!" *insert old western music here* too bad its NOT my weight thats going down!! I need to lose 5 lbs (I had gained 10 after a pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage), I lost 5 of it but the other 5 just won't come off! I hate that scale, yet I can't live without it. I have to know, I have to watch. Those 5 lbs SHOW. I SEE it. My clothes look awful. I can't find anything baggy enough. I know...I obssess on my weight. I am well below my goal weight but its not enough for me. And you know what, thats not going to stop because when it stops being a concern, it will creep back, slowly... and before you know it BAM...182 lbs back on. No, I'll take the obssession rather then the weight gain tyvm. Ok, scale...I'll see YOU....tomorrow... Have a good day everyone

Congrats Beth!! Thats amazing! Keep it up

I found that for me, it was theraputic. I have always stood by my philosophy that no one, other then those who have taken this journey, can even begin to understand what its like. I journaled to give my family a tiny glimpse of what I went through, of how I was feeling through all of this. Well and I love to write lol. As I read back I find that so many things I felt then, I still struggle with today. I sometimes wonder if this journey ever ends, or you just keep marching....regardless, I think I'll keep marching Posted January 29, 2011 So my ex and I walked into the seminar, meeting, whatever you wanna call it. You have to attend at least one meeting to be eligable for the surgerym so this counted 2 fold. I will admit, I shocked a little when I saw the size of the chairs that were out. It was almost insulting but I guess this was for um...people of size, but come on, I wasn't one of them....was I? The room had I'd venture to say...70 or more people. All sizes were there. New people, people who had the surgery recently, veterans, you name it. The lady who started the meeting, seminar, whatever, told the audience that she had bariatric surgery about 2 years ago. Then showed a before picture. Impressive. I had learned through the course of the night that almost ALL of the team members had it (the "team" is the whole group you work with, a nutritionist, head shrinker, insurance liason, social worker, Dr etc) I found that bit of info...interesting. She introduced the team members one by one (of course more then one team) thewn announed they would all be talking. Ok, honestly, I was bored already. The ex was listening with intensity. I was making paper airplanes. I hate this. You know its just gonna be the same stuff they say at the private meetings! The only time I really focused was when the Drs were up there. That was of interest. After everyone, and I mean EVERYONE finished the lecture portion, they played a little game (for lack of a better word) They put a picture up on a big screen in the front of the room of a former fatty and you had to look around the room to see if you could find them. No one could! Then they would set out in the aisle. Wow. It was unbelieveable. They had a Q&A after. This was my oppertunity to really dig deep. "Excuse me, but don't like 1 in 300 people DIE from this suregery?" All eyes turned to me...whaaaat? It was a ligit question!! I remembered my research!!! Of course the doctor has an answer for everything, even though I was trying to trip him up, giving myself an excuse not to continue this process. But the more I FINALLY listened, the more I thought, maybe...just maybe this was the road I should be traveling. Although I was scared I thought I should take another step and meet with the team, you know, hear them out. What do I stand to lose? I made appts that night with several team members. Oct 2nd I was set to begin. Begin what? I wasn't sure yet. *note for today...now I know it was to begin a new life This was posted later that same night... Wow, I made a huge mistake last night. My son and I went to the gym. We felt great when we left. So we went home and he did some cleaning while I cooked dinner. chicken Egg Foo Young Muffins with sauce, rice and steamed broccoli. Experimenting has been fun. Reminds me why I like cooking. So anyway, he and I ate dinner in the den, my daughter had gone upstairs. Sometimes she likes to cook with us, other times its all about Facebook and her friends. I guess maybe tiredness started to wash over me. It HAD been 12 hours non stop... but I ate too fast. I was SO sick the rest of the night. I was nauseous, crampy, my head hurt. What a nightmare! Lesson learned, I will never eat fast again! Slow, small bites it is, as dictated by the "Bariatric Bible". I'm still paying today. I couldn't even get a Protein shake down for Breakfast. Ugh. Like the turtle and the rabbit I will try to remember...slow and steady wins the race. Have a good night everyone

Congrats!!!! Thats certainly no easy job!!

Thank you everyone!!! Butterfly66...I was walking around the house the other day singing a song from the Disney movie Mulan..."Who is that girl I see, starring straight back at me? When will my reflection show, someone OTHER then who I used to be?!" Sometimes I look in the mirror and think 'who is that?' Other times...I see the old me. I find that losing weight so fast and so drastic has been and still is a huge mind game. But do I regret? Not for a single moment. The BEST decision I have ever made. It was life saving. I remember after I lost the weight we were moving and I was running in and out of the house box after box up and down 2 flights of stairs when my (then) 12 year old daughter said "Mom, don't you EVER get tired?" I looked at her and smiled and yelled "NO!" lol! Tell your daughter to never look back, don't let anything scare her and don't worry about anything but how healthy and happy she will be after this is all done. *hugs* to her. Life WILL change, some will be hard to except, sorry but thats the truth, but nonetheless, it will all be worth it. My surgery and recovery were more difficult then most, I had a lot of complications and was sick for months. I don't personally know anyone, even in my support groups, who had as bad a time as I, yet I would do it again in a heartbeat. Ok, so here is blog number 2: thanks for the support everyone! My story continues... Posted Jan 27, 2011 I wasn’t big into trying all the fad diets. I never even gave them a thought. After all, I was the picture of health and therefore knew what would work and what wouldn’t. Oh come on now, you don’t have to be healthy to know fad diets are not the answer. But neither is surgery. I’m just oh so high and mighty that I knew surgery was a quick fix. If I said it once I said it a million times “if you can’t learn to eat right and exercise, the surgery won’t help.” Ya, I said with a piece of cake in fron of me. But I still maintain I’m right about that. I scoffed at people who had it done. Most of course putting the weight back on. I did the research. I knew the statistics. Big fat waste of time I told myself. Speaking of big and fat… My diabetes was getting worse. I found myself back on insulin which wasn’t even helping anymore. My diabetes was also bringing other problems now. One morning I woke up and saw these blood red marks on my lower legs. I had no idea what they were. By the time I got out of the shower they were hurting. I mean HURTING! Well that started what was 6 months of hell. Drs, hospitals, specialists, I saw them all and yet knew nothing. The pain was 24/7, it reached a point where the pain was either tolerable or intolerable, but always there. I spent a couple of months on crutches, always fun. The “wounds” puffed up, eventually broke as blood oozed out. Oh so that’s what was in them! One morning I woke up screaming. I was in pain that was just above and beyond. It turned out one of my wounds was infected. Badly. So, again to the Dr., hospital, specialists, MRIs, X-rays, wound specialists. During all this, I got really sick. I was throwing up for 5 days until the Dr. put me in the hospital because I had become dehydrated. While I was there they told me my blood work had shown I had a massive infection completely throughout me.. Life was fun! But eventually it all subsided and went away. I was left with some scars but that was a small price to pay considering what could have happened. This past October suddenly I saw them start again. Panic set in. Sure enough, it started all over again. At this point I knew it was time to see my Dr. to discuss my health. The condition I had with my legs turned out to be a diabetes related disease. My numers were over 500. That’s when he dropped the bomb. “Nancy, I think it’s time you had bariatric surgery.” I could barely hear him as he went on and on about its not what it once was, the statistics have improved, higher success rate blah, blah, blah. I started to feel sick. He can’t be serious. He told me that with my health issues I was a prime candidate and the insurance company would easily cover it. He told me where to start. I started by going home and wondering what to do. I thought about it so much. Well, it WOULD help with a life threatening disease. Life without all my medical problems? Sweet. Was there maybe a part of me that thought, wow, wouldn’t it be nice to look better too? I tried to suppress those thoughts. That made me as bad as all the “others”, didn’t it? My ex-husband and I talked about it incessantly. He thought it was a good idea. I kept thinking about those statistics again. What was it I once heard? 1 in 300 people DIE from it? Well with my luck, I would be the 1. But the ex said we should at least head to the hospitals seminar and hear them out. So off to St. Luke’s Bariatric Hospital in Allentown we went. Thats all for now. And I haven't even been to the seminar yet LOL! Have a great day everyine and thanks for reading and the kind words btw... yes I like posting pics, I think they make the most dramatic statement. Quick story...I ride a motorcycle and this summer my husband and I took a trip up the Delaware Scenic Byway, a great run along the Delaware river on the PA/NY border. But I had taken the same run a year before the surgery. This is me, the same exact spot in 2010 and now in 2012 .

I would have done the sleeve as well, that was my preference but my doctor told me that the bypass is the most aggressive and my health was such that I needed drastic results quickly. My brother just got the sleeve last week, his loss seems pretty drastic to me already lol. Best of luck to you, either way you're on the road to a better life. Peace.