ididitmyway

<p>Okay!! I want to get outsider opinions on this!! About a year ago I met a guy whom I totally hit it off with....well we started dating and then out of the blue he called and said we needed to take it slow first. I was okay with this seeing as it was probably a good idea. It was around Christmas and he rode up with my friend to surprise me with my Christmas gift which was a beautiful necklace. A week or two later I was at the store in which he works and purchased the necklace and I was looking for it being nosey as usual and I was talking to the later at the counter. She asked me who had purchased my necklace and I told her. Well obviously he had told her that the only person he was dating was Kimberly..keep in mind my name is ASHLEY lol so I freak out I was heading out the door as he was walking in...I could barely speak I was ill because he had not mentioned seeing anyone else..she we went our seperate ways...well recently he has been calling and coming back around. He's still with her but say that he loves me and wants to be with me he made a mistake but doesn't want to hurt her...WHAT SHOULD I DO? Do you think he's playing me or genuine?<img src="http://www.LapBandTalk.com/images/smilies/help.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Help" smilieid="256" class="inlineimg" /></p>

Firstly, I am so sorry this happened to you! BIG HUGS!!!

IMHO, you deserve someone who is honest, loving and faithful. This guy does not deserve you.

I have been in situations like this......I believe this guy is a player. I met a guy who did a similar thing and the worse thing was he used the same lines on me as he used on the other woman. Guess what? We both fell for his lines, hook, line and sinker. I know all this because the other woman and myself met for coffee. We both broke up with him on the same day hehehehe. That woman and myself are still friends now.

Success and happiness are the best revenge. My only advice would be to focus on yourself instead of him.....you are worth the attention, he is not!

Chin up honey, we all have to kiss lots of toads before we meet our princes.

I posted a thread called....'HELP please!'

Thanks everyone for the GREAT responses!

Thanks SuzanneG for the link.......that's great!

I now know the approach I can use to comfort him and if the occassion arises I know what to say to defend him if others say he is cheating @weightloss by having the band.

I used Nicabate gum to give up smoking.......I am going to cite examples from my life and ask if it's cheating! See, I am using your ideas...... thanks so much for the help!

I record calories to control my weight, is that cheating?

I understand (THANKS TO EVERYONE HERE) how to defend him now and comfort him.

I THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!

I have informed him of this board but he does not want to join.

Additionally, thank you for helping me even though I have never had the band. I expected to get told to get off the board and the responses I got were so different.....You are all so inspiring and amazing!

Just a qucik question, can I post threads if I have any more questions about how to handle situations regarding him and the band?

THANK YOU once again! YOU have all helped me so much and I am so grateful! :whoo:

I saw this thread and thought you might find it helpful.

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f17/easy-way-out-49084/

Thanks everyone for the GREAT responses!

Thanks SuzanneG for the link.......that's great!

I now know the approach I can use to comfort him and if the occassion arises I know what to say to defend him if others say he is ceating @weightloss by having the band.

I used Nicabate gum to give up smoking.......I am going to cite examples from my life and ask if it's cheating! See, I am using your ideas...... thanks so much for the help!

I record calories to control my weight, is that cheating?

I understand (THANKS TO EVERYONE HERE) how to defend him now and comfort him.

I THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!! :clap2:

I have informed him of this board but he does not want to join.

Additionally, thank you for help me even though I have never had the band. I expected to get told to get off the board and the responses I got were so different.....You are all so inspiring and amazing!

Thanks beautiful people for all your wonderful responses!

Yes, I agree that he should join the board. I have informed him of this board but he does not want to join.

As for people saying he cheated by having the band...... people talk cow poo and of course most people do have the mind set that the 'grass is always greener over the other side of the fence'. Know what I mean?

I think at some level he is a bit ashamed about having the band. I cannot understand it (I have never had the band) so I do not understand the feelings that come with it, however, reading the posts on this forum has given me a greater understanding about feelings associated with having the band. For this, I thank each and everyone of you that post.

Thanks for your replies and advice...... you are all wonderful.

First of all - welcome to LBT

I also choose not to tell everyone. Mainly bc if I want to be talked about I want to be there and get the attention.

I just think its a private thing and why even make it an issue of not telling. Just support him and lead him here to lbt. He'll find all the support he needs here. Of course there are alot of people who know I'm banded but the only one who has made a comment about it being the easy way out was my sister. I told her it is not easy - I still have to work at it, I still have to resist chips and Cookies and candy - all the junk food that made me fat - I can still eat.

So what if you keep it to yourself, its your body, your private issue and thats that.

Sorry......I know I am confusing! LOL

I am NOT worried about him keeping it to himself, he told lots of people until people started to say the band = cheating @ weightloss. I don't know what to say to him when people who know he has had the band say he is using the band and it is the easy way to lose weight. The advice I want is ........'what can I say to him to make him feel better when people say that he is cheating at weight loss because he has had the band?'

Thanks .......sorry about the confusion.......I hope that's clearer

Hello

I have never had the lap band but I have enjoyed reading all your success stories..... very inspiring everyone!

I hope no-body becomes offended that I have entered this board and I have never had the lap band. It's just I need some advice from people who have had the band.

THE SITUATION:

A friend of mine had the band and he is afraid others will find out he has had the band. Why does he fear telling people? He has been informed by many people (who he has told about the band) that getting the band is cheating at weightloss. I SHOULD STATE I DO NOT AGREE WITH THIS!

HELP PART

What should I say to comfort him, please, any advice would be great?

Here's what I have tried so far......

1. 'I know it's not cheating to use the band to lose weight.'

2. 'Tell them to call me and I will inform them that the lap band does not mean you are cheating at weight loss'

3. 'Why worry about what others think?'

4. Well, say to them, 'yer sure it is cheating and those who don't get it done are stupid because they do it the hard way. Hmmm.... why are you losing weight the hard way?' Of course, say this in a scarcastic tone.

I am sorry to impose on the board but I would appericate any advice. Once again to all those that I have offended by entering this board.....I AM SORRY!

Thanks for any advice!