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Lebim got a reaction from anaxila in Life after Surgery
No regrets. My quality of life has improved drastically - people treat me more like an actual human being now. It's sad that I had to lose the weight for that to happen but it is what it is. I can move better and fit into places I couldn't dream of before like fair ride seats and airplane bathrooms. I feel normal finally. I hear the comments about how I took "the easy way out" but people who say that are completely ignorant to what the entire process of this surgery is so I try to remember that when I'm attempting not to punch them in the throat.
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Lebim got a reaction from Janice1968 in Did bypass not work for anyone?
It's possible to gain the weight back after gastric bypass but it is not because the surgery failed, it is because the patient fails at following the post-surgery rules. I had my surgery 2.5 years ago and lost 125lbs and in the last year have gained 50lbs back. Why? Because I've lived off wine and Bagels for the last year and never got off the couch. It is 100% my fault I gained it back. If you stick to the high Protein & low fat/sugar/carb diet your pouch will never fail you. Oh and about the "stretching your pouch" thing, doesn't happen. Of course it stretches a tiny bit after you heal, but I've done everything that would "stretch" my pouch, from eating WAY too much to the point of excruciating pain to drinking beer every weekend, and I still can only eat 1/3-1/2 of what I used to be able to. This surgery will never fail you, only you can fail the surgery.
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Lebim got a reaction from Inner Surfer Girl in They warn you for a reason
Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you newbies out there - all the stuff they warn you about is real.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So advice to all you n00bs:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again
-
Lebim got a reaction from mal0712 in Where Is Everyone From?
Just curious, maybe some of us are closer to each other than we think?
I'm from west palm beach, florida and my surgeon was Paul Wizman
- Kaylee Ann ~ Surgerversary: 6/11/12
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Lebim got a reaction from MamaTo3inNH in Found a new portable food
I don't know if this is old news or not but I found a new portable food that is perfect for us! It's a StarKist tuna packet that I buy at Walmart for $1 a piece and comes in a variety of flavors including hickory smoked, sweet and spicy, lemon pepper and my personal favorite - herb and garlic.
They range from 16-19g of Protein and 90-110 calories a packet. They definitely cure hunger pains but won't fill you up to the brim. I love these as a mid-day snack straight out of the bag or accompanying something for lunch.
I personally like the herb and garlic the best because it isn't dry and I don't feel the need to add anything to it, unlike the sweet and spicy which is pretty dry and needs mayo which is terribly unhealthy. I tried adding avocado instead but I didn't love it.
They're just the best! Hope this helps someone else fill their lunch bag like it helped me :]
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Lebim got a reaction from Inner Surfer Girl in They warn you for a reason
Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you newbies out there - all the stuff they warn you about is real.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So advice to all you n00bs:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again
-
Lebim got a reaction from Janice1968 in Did bypass not work for anyone?
It's possible to gain the weight back after gastric bypass but it is not because the surgery failed, it is because the patient fails at following the post-surgery rules. I had my surgery 2.5 years ago and lost 125lbs and in the last year have gained 50lbs back. Why? Because I've lived off wine and Bagels for the last year and never got off the couch. It is 100% my fault I gained it back. If you stick to the high Protein & low fat/sugar/carb diet your pouch will never fail you. Oh and about the "stretching your pouch" thing, doesn't happen. Of course it stretches a tiny bit after you heal, but I've done everything that would "stretch" my pouch, from eating WAY too much to the point of excruciating pain to drinking beer every weekend, and I still can only eat 1/3-1/2 of what I used to be able to. This surgery will never fail you, only you can fail the surgery.
-
Lebim got a reaction from Inner Surfer Girl in They warn you for a reason
Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you newbies out there - all the stuff they warn you about is real.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So advice to all you n00bs:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again
-
Lebim got a reaction from PaulD in Advice for those starting their journey
Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you newbies out there - all the stuff they warn you about is real.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So advice to all you n00bs:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did. If my story can prevent one person from making one of my many mistakes I'd be happy.
-
Lebim got a reaction from Inner Surfer Girl in They warn you for a reason
Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you newbies out there - all the stuff they warn you about is real.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So advice to all you n00bs:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again
-
Lebim got a reaction from Inner Surfer Girl in They warn you for a reason
Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you newbies out there - all the stuff they warn you about is real.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So advice to all you n00bs:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again
-
Lebim got a reaction from Inner Surfer Girl in They warn you for a reason
Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you newbies out there - all the stuff they warn you about is real.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So advice to all you n00bs:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again
-
Lebim got a reaction from Inner Surfer Girl in They warn you for a reason
Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you newbies out there - all the stuff they warn you about is real.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So advice to all you n00bs:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again
-
Lebim got a reaction from Inner Surfer Girl in They warn you for a reason
Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you newbies out there - all the stuff they warn you about is real.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So advice to all you n00bs:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again
-
Lebim got a reaction from freshair in I've gained and it's my fault.
The first time I quit I switched to the e-cigarette N-Joy for a few months before kicking the habit all together. It's the closest thing to a real cigarette that I've tried and you can get them at any drug store or 7/11 and they have a lot less nicotine. Easier than quitting cold turkey. If you live near a costco they sell a pill literally called "acid reducer" and I think it would help prevent you from getting an ulcer for now - not justifying the smoking but y'know, it might help. Good luck with quitting -
Lebim got a reaction from Inner Surfer Girl in They warn you for a reason
Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you newbies out there - all the stuff they warn you about is real.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So advice to all you n00bs:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again
-
Lebim got a reaction from freshair in I've gained and it's my fault.
I've posted this thread in 2 other topics just to vent and hopefully help others not make my mistakes so if you see it more than once I'm sorry, getting this off my chest to more people just makes me feel better.
Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you guys out there - it's true, I'm the prime example of all the stuff they warn you about.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So if I can give you guys any advice:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again
-
Lebim got a reaction from freshair in I've gained and it's my fault.
I've posted this thread in 2 other topics just to vent and hopefully help others not make my mistakes so if you see it more than once I'm sorry, getting this off my chest to more people just makes me feel better.
Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you guys out there - it's true, I'm the prime example of all the stuff they warn you about.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So if I can give you guys any advice:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again
-
Lebim got a reaction from Inner Surfer Girl in They warn you for a reason
Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you newbies out there - all the stuff they warn you about is real.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So advice to all you n00bs:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again
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Lebim got a reaction from freshair in Ppl having bariatric surgery in their twenties!
I had my surgery 2 months before my 21st birthday, I am 2.5 years out now at 23 years old. Honestly I was dying for the surgery for a very long time before actually realizing it could be a reality. My older brother had his gastric bypass 5 years prior to me and he did so well and I envied him so much. I've been fat my entire life and bullied relentlessly for it and treated differently than all my friends. I am crippled by fear around needles and I sucked it up and got stuck what felt like a thousand times for all my tests prior to surgery and all the blood tests and heparin shots while in the hospital just for a shot at a normal life I had craved for just short of 21 years. I feared I would die on the table and loathed how many needles would get shoved in my arms and I hated that I had to quit smoking cigarettes but god I wanted it so badly I'd do anything. Maybe that makes me odd, haha. There wasn't an ounce of hesitation for me.
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Lebim got a reaction from freshair in I've gained and it's my fault.
I've posted this thread in 2 other topics just to vent and hopefully help others not make my mistakes so if you see it more than once I'm sorry, getting this off my chest to more people just makes me feel better.
Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you guys out there - it's true, I'm the prime example of all the stuff they warn you about.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So if I can give you guys any advice:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again
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Lebim got a reaction from Janice1968 in Hunger Question
I am 2.5 years out and I experience a lot more head hunger than normal hunger but I most definitely get hungry for real. I have to eat something about every 2-3 hours or else I start to get hungry.
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Lebim got a reaction from freshair in Ppl having bariatric surgery in their twenties!
I had my surgery 2 months before my 21st birthday, I am 2.5 years out now at 23 years old. Honestly I was dying for the surgery for a very long time before actually realizing it could be a reality. My older brother had his gastric bypass 5 years prior to me and he did so well and I envied him so much. I've been fat my entire life and bullied relentlessly for it and treated differently than all my friends. I am crippled by fear around needles and I sucked it up and got stuck what felt like a thousand times for all my tests prior to surgery and all the blood tests and heparin shots while in the hospital just for a shot at a normal life I had craved for just short of 21 years. I feared I would die on the table and loathed how many needles would get shoved in my arms and I hated that I had to quit smoking cigarettes but god I wanted it so badly I'd do anything. Maybe that makes me odd, haha. There wasn't an ounce of hesitation for me.
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