I think we all have different pains. I am a 36 year old male who is 6 feet tall and now suddenly within the past 6 months 325 pounds - BMI 42? Prior to the previous 6 months I seemed to have been on a 10 year plateau of 270-290 pounds. I have never needed to buy 2 plane seats, not get into a booth, or be unable to be in a movie theater seat - although I can be quite uncomfortable in all of these. I do remember one time that I tried to get on a ride at an amusement park, where I just barely fit and the attendants had to come over to comfrim that I could fit - horribly embarrassing! So, I imagine the pain of having been like this all my life, with as mean as kids can be, must be horrible and painful to even remember now.
For me I have a different pain. I didn't gain this weight until after high school. As a senior in high school I played football, dated (and later married) the high school cheerleader/home-coming queen, weighed 170 pounds at 6 feet tall, and was used to a fair amount of female attention in most social environments - wow that was a long time ago! Some of my friends back then might have even told you I was conceited.
So now after having steadily increased my weight from 170 - 200 - 270 - 300 - 325 ( I used those numbers becasue over nearly 20 years - I barely paid attention to my weight except for here and there - actually believing at 270 I could eat anything I wanted and not gain weight for the longest time - I since been proven wrong) I have a different sort of pain. I actually did this 100% to myself! I didn't have an unfair start as many lifers had starting as an overweight child, I did this as an adult with my head in the sand.
I am very fortunate to still be married to my high school sweetheart and going strong with her (she is the "I weigh 135 pounds and I feel so fat" types), but being the fat/invisible guy is painful to me. I'm sure that people look at the two of us and wonder how did he get her? and no the answer is not that I have a ton of money. HAHA.
So whose pain is stronger? who knows? how can use quantify an emotion/pain? I don't think you can. As a child and family psychotherapist myself, I always dismissed the possibility that "I" ate emotionally. I have only in the past week learned how wrong I was. food and overeating is at the center of most of my enjoyment - when I watch TV (I snack), when I travel to familar destinations (I plan our family trip around hitting certain restaurants), I eat late at night, and now I know how much I don't try to eat healthy when I am stressed.
Sorry, as much of this was rambling and a lot about me, but it was very cathartic. This website has been very eye-opening for my both in understanding other's struggles as well as my own.
Finally, I like what someone earlier in this thread said in their analogy to prison sentences - we're all in pain in our own little prison's and it sucks, but when I think about it (as a mid-BMIer at 42 - I am somewhere in the middle) I would like to only have a 6-month sentence instead of a life sentence, but I can only do my own time and it still hurts.
Thanks for indulging me in my "book" of a response. It was helpful for me to process.