FinerWoman

OMG today is the day. I am going to be having surgery in 3 hours. It's so crazy that the day has finally arrived and in a few hours my new life is going to start and I can begin to set all my goals that I will now be able to achive when I wasn't before. Sea world and Disneyland being my first goals. I can't wait to take my little girl to Disneyland. She has been waiting forever and mommy had to keep telling he next year honey in hopes that I would lose the weight and be able to walk around the park. Now I can offically say that April 2013 or 2014 we WILL be going to Disneyland and it will be the best time ever. I can't wait. Well everyone wish me luck.I am off to the hospital. Bye Bye for now :-)

Hi my name is Kelly and I am 33 years old. I am having a Rouxen-Y on October 19, 2012. I am so nervous and excited. I started this process back in Febuary. I guess I thought it would take a long time. But my experience has been very different. It seems to gone very fast. Don't get me wrong I am happy about this just need to take a few deep breaths. This journey has not been without a couple bumps in the road which included a broken ankle and wrist. I am finally out of the walking boot and I trip and fall and break my wrist( so please excuse any typos still have a cast on). So to make a long story short I get my cast of Thursday the 18th. Then I meet with my surgeon for my preop appt and then with the life coach. ALL on Thursday!!!! Then Friday is the big day!!!

All day today I have been washing my clothes, putting summer clothes that I wore this summer and last in a bag to give to Goodwill. I am getting myself in the mindset that I will not be able to wear them next summer, so the time for them to leave is now in order for me to make room for what this journey has to give me. Out with the old to make room for the new. In my adult life I have not been smaller than a size 14 and I didn't stay at that weight that long, so I have a few 14 size clothing that I washed today and are now handing. They have replaced the size 20/22's that are now too big on me. I am in a size 16/18 my RNY date is Oct. 15, 2012 so I should be in the size 14 very soon. I went to goodwill today just to look around and some of the clothing, they have some very cute things there. I think that I will start picking up a pice or two every week until I can get into them, that will motivate me to work harder to get into them as I LOVE nice clothing and I have found some very nice designer things that I would totally rock. I bought one today It is a size small green and brown sweater that is made from 100% Organic Cotton...I couldn't walk away from it. As I wash my clothing I am starting to pack my bag for the hospital. The only thing that is in there thus far is my robe it's very thick cotton and very warm, I'm always cold and I'm sure I will be there also, so I plan on keeping it on the whole time that I'm there. Today is also the second day of my liver shrinking diet and I did very good. My plan is to follow all the rules and have a smooth recovery. I'm very happy and can't wait until my date is here...ONLY 9 DAYS TO GO!!!

All day today I have been washing my clothes, putting summer clothes that I wore this summer and last in a bag to give to Goodwill. I am getting myself in the mindset that I will not be able to wear them next summer, so the time for them to leave is now in order for me to make room for what this journey has to give me. Out with the old to make room for the new. In my adult life I have not been smaller than a size 14 and I didn't stay at that weight that long, so I have a few 14 size clothing that I washed today and are now handing. They have replaced the size 20/22's that are now too big on me. I am in a size 16/18 my RNY date is Oct. 15, 2012 so I should be in the size 14 very soon. I went to goodwill today just to look around and some of the clothing, they have some very cute things there. I think that I will start picking up a pice or two every week until I can get into them, that will motivate me to work harder to get into them as I LOVE nice clothing and I have found some very nice designer things that I would totally rock. I bought one today It is a size small green and brown sweater that is made from 100% Organic Cotton...I couldn't walk away from it. As I wash my clothing I am starting to pack my bag for the hospital. The only thing that is in there thus far is my robe it's very thick cotton and very warm, I'm always cold and I'm sure I will be there also, so I plan on keeping it on the whole time that I'm there. Today is also the second day of my liver shrinking diet and I did very good. My plan is to follow all the rules and have a smooth recovery. I'm very happy and can't wait until my date is here...ONLY 9 DAYS TO GO!!!

A lot of people ask me " How does it feel to have lost all that weight?" and I never can find the words to express the joy I have. It's actually taken some time for me to be comfortable with my weight loss. Contrary to popular belief, losing the weight isn't the hardest part. Accepting the "new you" and every ones reaction to the "new you" is the tricky part. It amazes me sometimes how superficial the world really can be. You would think that weighing in at over 350 lbs would make you stand out but the truth is; it was as if I was invisible. No one really pays any attention to a person of that size, not positive attention anyway. There are things as a larger person that I never really gave much thought to that I absolutely have to now. For example, I never thought about being raped or attacked at my highest weight. The reality is that it is a much bigger challenge to prey on someone that big ( Not saying it doesn't happen, just not as often). I never gave fashion much thought either. Lets be honest, if it wasn't a Lane Bryant, Ashley Stewart, Torrid or Catherine's around then I would have been wearing bed sheets or curtains. At one point it was just a matter of "Is it going to fit?" versus " Does it look good on me?". Saying the word "NO" was also a huge challenge for me. I was a self proclaimed "People Pleaser". I figured by saying "yes" to everything and everyone, it would help them overlook my obvious weight problem. I also hid behind my sense of humor. People like funny people no matter what they look like. And me making fun of myself hurt less then someone else doing it.
 
The world seems much friendlier then it used to now. I get smiles and greeted everywhere I go. It's like men came out of nowhere. Its like I got a face lift and record deal all at the same time! I don't think one can ever get used to the attention given after such a physical transformation. I had to learn how to live a new life. I had to establish a "New Normal", life's new routine. It' s the little things that we take for granted that make such a big change in our lives. Walking up a flight of stairs without passing out, being able to fit at any booth at a restaurant, breathing/sleeping normally or just being able to wear denim jeans again made all the difference. With limited mobility, something as small as going to the mailbox was a task. Losing the weight opened up a whole new window of opportunity. I started dreaming again. I started setting goals for myself that actually seem attainable now. I was so used to my hum drum existence that I never really considered my future. Waking up with excitement for what the day will bring, grateful to just be alive and ready to take on anything instead of never wanting to leave the house, wanting to end it all and bracing myself for the worse. Sometimes I have to stop and ask myself "Is this really my life?".
 
Adjusting to my life's new routine is a day to day effort. Its like losing someone close to you. The absence of their presence leaves you lost and unclear about the future. It's like time stops and your stuck, not knowing what to do, what to think or how to live. Parting ways with my former self also left me with those same feelings. It too was like a death. That other person is gone and I'm now left with a "New me". I can no longer hide behind the weight or use it as an excuse. I have to be brave now. Walk in a confidence that I never had before. People see me now. Some even look up to me and are inspired by my story. It truly blows my mind how life can take such a turn for the better. Embracing my life's new routine has been both a rewarding and challenging experience.
 
Today, I want you to think about your life and all the changes that have come. Are you ready to find your "New Normal"? The funny thing about life is that NOTHING ever stays the same. You can decide to remain stuck or roll with the punches.