eglean2

I have been overweight my entire life. When my mother passed away, I gained alot of weight. I really dont know how much because I never paid attention. I am happily married to a great man who loves me heavy or thin. About a year after my mother died, I began to look hard at myself and decided to make changes. Again. By this time, I was 293 and couldn't believe it. I carry my weight well guess. I began to diet and exercise eventually getting to about 220 pounds which i have been able to bounce around this number my entire life. A good friend of mine had WLS and i thought she was crazy! How could anyone do that to their body?? Why couldn't she lose wight the old fashioned way?? But then I began to gain the weight back and I was scared to become my mother. My loving, wonderful mother passed away at the age of 58 before her prime. She too stuggled with her weight throughout her entire life and unfortunately had multiple morbidities because of it. She suffered from COPD, Asthma, Diebeties, Sleep Apnea, CHD, Hyperlipidemia and high blood pressure. She was confined to a motorized chair and oxygen. She couldn't work, couldn't walk, had few friends and was severely depressed. She ate because that was 1 pleasure she couldn't have taken away. When she died, I have no idea how much she weighed, but if i had to guess i would say between 500-600 pounds. If I wasnt careful, she was my future. I had dieted my entire life very successfully yo-yoing between 180 and 250. When I began to lose weight, I started looking at WSL as a tool to manage my weight instead of the easy way out.

After much research, I thought the band was my tool. It wouldn't re-route my stomach and could be removed if needed. With the support of my family i was banded in 2008 with a weight of 256. I did great! I lost 65 pounds and was able to hold it there for a long time. I felt great, was doing more, Hell, I even ran a 5K! Highly recommend that. What a rush and sense of accomplishment!!! I had plastic surgery in 2010 to remove my apron (abdomnioplasty), fix my arms (BL brachioplexy) and put my boobs where they belong (BL mastioplexy)! I was shocked after surgery! They removed 16 pounds of skin. And the boobs are great! I love having them back where they belong! But then the trouble started. I began to lose restriction and complained thinking i needed a fill. I have been filled and unfilled at least 5 times since then, Each time getting less restriction than before. I had severe night time reflux and began throwing up all the time.Some thing was different and no test would show any thing wrong. Instead, I felt it was me, something i was doing or something in my head. If I couldn't make this work, then what? I had gained my way back to 234.

Fast forward to now. I am currently awaiting revision with Dr. Ahad in Springfield, Illinois. I finally had an UGI that showed not only reflux but dilitation. I am down to 4cc in a 10 cc band. I am just very greatful that someone is listening to me. Always listen to your body! Only you know it best despite doctors! My former physician, Dr. Max Hammer, finally had a sit down with me and basically said the band wasn't for me. I had such a relief that I beagan to get on track again. Of course I lost my way but I'm back now. Knowing that I was supported, we started looking at the RNY. I should have done this in the first place. I was self pay originally but now have insurance which covers WLS. The only hitch is I have to switch programs. My insurance has a clause that states all surgeries are to be done at my hospital of employment. I dont want to lose my surgeon, but I cant live like this.

Any one who has never had a weight issue would have a hard time understanding what an obese person lives through. All the different mechanisms of coping, the hiding behind weight, even "mutilating" your body to conform to society. But any obese person knows where I have walked and can relate similar stories such as mine. But this is my story. Now if i can just remember to hit "save" this time so I dont have to write this again!