Linda Frazier

I will be 4 years out in July. At 1 year out, I had lost 122 pounds. I was told I was too thin ( 5'6" 155 lbs). Stupidly, I continued to exercise, but got lax with my good food choices and pitched the "rules." Each year at my annual exam, I have steadily gained weight. My surgeon said in the beginning that her goal weight for me was 200 pounds. My pre-surgery weight was 283. She told me to just not gain anymore. About 6 months ago, I was having problems with reflux. My pcp sent me to digestive disease docs. They did an endo because I had also been throwing up quite a bit after eating. The video of the endo procedure showed that I had a restriction where the pylorus goes into the small intestine. Naturally, they forwarded this info to my bariatric surgeon. She did another endo and stretched the area. I have had no more vomiting, but continue to gain weight. I'm nearing 200. Bye-bye ONEDERLAND! I know I have sabotaged my surgery, my weight loss, my healthy lifestyle. My surgeon told me that I have raised my set point, that I could possibly lose 10 pounds, but no more than that. So I've pretty much given up. I'm buying larger clothes and eating mostly junk. Before anyone asks, yes I have a therapist and a shrink. I guess the fact that she told me I had no hope of losing the weight I've gained back just leaves me thinking I wish I had known this before the surgery. I was naive enough to believe since my stomach was so much smaller, I couldn't possibly gain much (and it was slow at first with all the vomiting, I was maintaining). I didn't have much for a support system in place from the beginning and have less now. I don't go to the meetings because I don't want to discourage anyone pending surgery, and honestly, I'm ashamed I've wasted my opportunity. My body image has been negative since I was a 135 pound teenager. You all know the story, not thin enough, not pretty enough, not popular, etc. I travel for my job now and am not happy with the way I look in my professional clothing. This is going nowhere! It's turned into a huge rant, and I didn't intend to go there. The bottom line is I don't know where to turn at this point. I'm consumed with guilt, so tough love Is not the answer. Does anyone know of a way for me to get back on track to lose weight? Is it really true that it's impossible for me to lose more than 10 pounds?