kookaburra

Hi everyone, I've got a surgery date of 30th April which is very exciting. I'm on Day 5 of the Pre-Op Diet and I'm not coping well at all. My doctor said to do Optifast. I've done shakes and bars (even though I think he only wanted me to do shakes) and I've had a few sandwiches and a can of baked Beans and a salad. I'm very hungry, angry, had uncontrollable diarrohea and I'm just basically so bloody starving. If I could do Optifast I would have done it to lose weight in the first place. I'm not looking for people to enable me, I'd just like to know if others have cheated (in healthy ways) and still had their surgeon willing to go through with the surgery? I know my liver is in bad shape and I also know that my head is telling me that I am ravenously hungry. I"ve done liquid diets in the past and the hunger DOES NOT go away after a few days. It might for some, but it doesn't for me unfortunately. Am I the only one that isn't sticking to this even though it's very important to me and I'm also self pay? Thanks everyone for reading, sorry for the downer of a message. xoxoxo

"I was having a rough time with the diet and was really just looking to find that I wasn't the only one who had made these errors and that others have given in too" Not that it matters now but I just wanted you to know that I meant given in to their hunger/cravings not given up altogether :thumbup: BetsyB I love the way that you support people on here and Amy thank you for caring enough to say what you think and dblex thankyou for your understanding and support. Take care everyone, I think that you are all a wonderful group of people and very strong and committed; all qualities that I truly admire.

Thanks guys, I really do appreciate it. I'm sorry that I've been feeling more sensitive than usual and probably took some of this stuff to heart as criticism when it was said in the context of offering support (and I really do and have appreciated the support). I think people on this board are amazing the way that they listen and offer suggestions to each other. I'll still be on here and when I'm back on the surgery list, I'll be coming from a much healthier emotional place so I give myself the best foundation for success. Take care everyone xoxoxox:smile2:

Hi Anne, thanks for your post. Absolutely nothing that's been said here has influenced my decision. I take full responsibility for my decision to postpone and it was a carefully thought through one. I really understand what you are saying about behaviour modification and to a certain extent I've found not delving into the why to be helpful but I have a 'nagging' feeling that there is something not right that needs my attention so that I can then release it forever - this strategy has worked for me very well in the past. I understand that Tough Love can be a good thing, I've just never responded well to it because I don't usually reach out at times when I'm tough enough to deal with Tough Love :thumbup: Thanks very much for all of your support. Take care xoxox

Hi everyone, thanks for all of your posts although to be honest I was shocked that some of you felt you knew me well enough to make some of the assumptions that you did. I was having a rough time with the diet and was really just looking to find that I wasn't the only one who had made these errors and that others have given in too (I'm sick of feeling like a weak person and it's always comforting to know that others understand and have been there too). Saying that you understand and have been in that position too isn't enabling someone, it's empathy. I've thought this through and decided to postpone my surgery. The fact that I've not been able to stick to my pre-surgery diet tells me that I haven't dealt with whatever things from the past I've been squishing down with food and a lapband isn't going to fix that for me. For years food was the only thing that ever comforted me during long episodes of severe OCD and Depression so I have some very strong associations to break there and I think I need support to do that before I get the band. Take care everyone xoxox

Hi everyone, I'm getting banded in Australia on 23rd April. I'm really excited because it's something I've been thinking about for a few years and it's part of my plan for getting back to the real me this year. I do have something that worries me however and it's a reason that I believe I gained so much weight in the first place. As a young girl I felt very sexualised by 2 step fathers and also my real father and I also had a terrible experience at a high school graduation after party. As a teenager I weighed 50 kg, was really interested in clothes, cared about how I looked and loved going out. After that high school experience, I put on weight, became even more self conscious even extremely angry anytime someone gave me a compliment about my figure and tried to hide my body under big clothes until I got so big that I became invisible to men and no one noticed me anymore. I still feel enraged on the rare chance that someone compliments me on my appearance and I know it's pretty obvious that I have issues around sexual assault but I just haven't been able to find anyone that can delve deeply enough into the area that I'm needing to rid myself of this rage about appearances. I'm scared of being thin again and noticing men looking at me because it makes me want to vomit and yell at them all at once and I'm worried that I'll regain the weight to feel safe again even though I don't feel at all good or comfortable at this size (124 kg). I don't really expect any advice, I would just appreciate knowing if anyone else has ever felt this way? It's so good to be able to come on here, anonymously and say what is really bothering me. Thankyou. Kind regards,

Hey there MaryRose, I haven't seen "Ruby." I live in Australia and I don't know if it screens here but I'll get on google right and look for her. Thanks so much for that tip and yes, I have gotten some wonderful advice and support. I'm very grateful. KInd regards,

Hi Bella71, Thank you very much for your lovely post. "Owning your femininity and sexuality" is not something that I've ever been great at. That's hard when it's always been used to make you feel ashamed or to please adults who should know better. You are absolutely right though, I guess for me and many others that I"ve met, it's a journey to get to that point and I appreciate you pointing out to me that sexuality and femininity ARE actually gifts rather than something to run from. Kind regards,

Thanks for your genuine care and understanding Betsy B. I truly do believe I've become fat to protect myself - that's quite a revelation really :thumbup: I really appreciate you sharing your experience and wisdom with me.

I meant to say I do have a beautiful counsellor that I see - she is wonderful. I don't know about her experience in dealing with sexual assault so I might ask her for a referral - there's absolutely no need to be concerned for me. Thanks.

Hi Betsy B, you may never know how great it was for me to read your message. I developed a serious obsession worrying about infidelity (have never been unfaithful, never wanted to be and never plan on being but that didn't matter to the obsession). The fat is insulating, just like you said - it's incredible the similarities in our stories. My mother made me feel very ashamed of my body from a young age and would talk to me like I'd done something wrong when I got sexual attention from HER husbands. She also allowed one of my step fathers to sleep in my bed with me when I was very drunk as a 16 year old (to make sure I didn't fall out of bed again and hit my head apparently). He didn't do anything that I can remember but I still find it very hard to forgive her for that. I've done so much work on myself psychologically in the past 3 years to the point where I actually WANT TO LIVE now rather than wishing an early death for myself but these things that I am absolutely furious at my mother for, keep rearing their head. It's so validating and wonderful of you all to listen to me and offer support. I don't expect it but I really do appreciate it and I hope that by sharing my story, it validates parts of other peoples lives that they feel shame from. Thanks again girls. Kind regards,

Thankyou. Your words mean a lot to me and I really appreciate them. What a lovely person you are!

Just needed to point out that I was talking about the surgeon, not anyone on here:smile2:

I agree with the person who said he's a horses ass. My surgeon told me he would not perform a bypass on me. Why should we go for such drastic surgery just so that they can get their stats up? I'm surprised you didn't crack it at him, I would have gotten quite defensive about it if I were you. PIG. Your weight loss is great, it's what you think and how you feel that counts but we are all behind you. Well done.

Hi everyone, I've seen the Nutritionist, psychologist and had my blood tests. I've got the letters to support my funding application and I have one more Dr visit before I can apply for my funding. I'm in Australia and I"m applying to my Superannuation Fund to be able to access my own money to pay for this surgery. I've been feeling really good about the surgery and I'm still going to do it. I'm just a bit scared. For instance, how bad is the nausea? Are you vomiting for weeks? are you in pain at the site of the band? How long until all of you could return to work comfortably? I may also have to have a small bowel biopsy at the same time and a camera stuck in there to have a look for celiac disease and I think this is what has thrown me into disarray. I'm still going ahead with the surgery, nothing is going to stop me there, I'm just feeling worried. I would really appreciate any of your stories about your own post-operative experiences. Thank you so much in advance.

Thanks girls, your stories helped a lot!! It's always good to know what other people have found as it helps you to determine if your experiences are normal in times of worry. For example I now expect that it's completely normal to have pain for about a week but it should decrease after that. The process for getting a band is a long one and it's easy to feel overwhelmed (well I do anyway) but just one step at a time is the way to go. Great to know that there are lovely people on here willing to lend some support and advice. Thanks heaps and congratulations on both of your successes so far!

Hi Betsy, thanks heaps for your reply. It's great to hear that the operation needn't necessarily cause me vomiting and lots of pain afterwards. I really want this so much and I think that now that I'm about to apply for the money and set the operation date, it's all becoming very real and I"m realising that I'm about to start a new, lifelong relationship with food and that's scary even though it is definitely something that I want to force myself to do. You sound like you had a really good recovery and your exercise regime sounds fantastic. Every good wish to you in your weight loss journey! I've got 64 kg or 141lbs to lose so I've got a lot riding on this.

Congratulations Whillow! That is fantastic news. It must have been a great moment, now you can be your own inspiration!:smile:

lbndoc, I can't help but agree with you. I have had depression for many years and it's often led me to blame others when things went wrong and to lack motivation to 'see things through.' This is no fault of the individual as Depression robs you of joy and life just becomes a constant struggle. I hope that you don't have depression rlynn but if you did, it could certainly help to explain the difficulties that you are having at the moment. I really do wish you all the best.

Why would you consider a lawsuit? It's up to you to research the surgery before you have it and to satisfy yourself that it is the right thing for you personally. Maybe this is another self sabotage in that you are blaming others because you are having difficulty in fully committing to this. I'm not trying to judge you or be unkind but I think that you made the decision to do this so why not give it all you've got, save for the fills and see if it works. This might be the last bit of resistance that you need to break down. Good luck with it all.

Has anyone heard of the lapband causing teeth and gum problems? A friend told me that it causes the stomach to create more acid and this comes up more into the mouth because of the band, anyone heard of this?

Hi Trish, thankyou so much for sharing your experience. I hope you are okay now, what you went through sounds awful. I know just from morning sickness; constant vomiting is not only bad phyically, it really gets your mood down too. Hummingbird, I love your tips and I'm going to follow them. Thank you so much, dental suggestions are very welcome and much appreciated here!!!!

Thanks for your reply Jacqui. I think the person my friend knew may have been bulimic before she had the band which would explain the teeth problems. I definitely don't want to risk my tooth and gum health because it's already not great but if I had to choose between lapbanding and my teeth, I'd get false teeth and the lapbanding.

Hi everyone in Brissy, I am going to be self paying the whole amount of my surgery from Super. Would anyone who was banded in Brisbane Australia be willing to share the amount that they paid? I'd like to shop around but am willing to pay more for a better surgeon. Thankyou. :biggrin: