SkinnyGirlNC

Hello, I am not keeping secrets anymore. This is my story... My pre-op weight was 228, I am 5 ft 2in, surgery 4/25/12. Now I am 115, and wear a size 2....goal weight was 130. Food is difficult for me to eat, easier to go without - BUT I AM TRYING! It is extremely difficult to maintain weight, seems impossible to gain. I posted in another forum and found 2 other ppl with struggles like mine, one was actually diagnosed with anorexia. I do not want to be sick. I do not feel fat, I feel I am too skinny....but I can't stop losing weight. I cry, out of fear of getting sick. I am not depressed, I am scared. My blood results are all good, low but still good. But everyone comments on how small I am. I thought it was because they were just not used to seeing me at this weight, but I am beginning to feel otherwise now. I have scheduled appts with my PCP, my surgeon, my nutritionist and a therapist already so pls don't post to tell me to do that. I am trying to be proactive in my health already. I KNOW I need to eat more, but it is HARD when everything inside you is saying the opposite. On my previous post, all the comments from ppl who are in my shoes came in private messages, not public. And I truly appreciate them, but I think it needs to be brought out in the open. Please do not bother to comment if all you have to say is, "I wish I had that problem", because the truth is, YOU DON'T!! It is difficult and scary. If you do not want to post publicly, please send a message privately if you also are experiencing this. I need to know there are more of "me" out there.....I want help and support, not criticism. I am not to the point that I regret having the surgery, but in 6 months I might feel otherwise if I have still not got a handle on the lifestyle I have chosen. I don't mean to scare others out of going through with it, seems there are not many ppl out there in my position....but the reality is, there are a couple of us. If you are one, please reach out to me....

I will try your Ensure-shake suggestion! Why aren't I able to think of nifty little tricks like that?!

Hang in there girl!! We are going to figure this "puzzle" out!!

Choc cake, donuts, etc.... Love them!! But those are only fat calories w no nutritional value. The objective is to stay healthy, not only increase numbers. That being said, I LOVE my glazed donut w choc milk at least once a week!

Thanks Piercedqt78 for the kids ensure tip! I will buy some tomorrow and try it!!! I can relate to the boob loss (lol). Considering getting a "job", but still not sure about it. But after reading your post I for sure will go to the plastic office and see what they say about the weight of extra skin. I don't have too much of it, but I do have some. Curious how that will change my BMI. Never thought of it that way before. I appreciate your time in sharing!

Actually, I DO have to drink Ensure everyday, the Plus kind with the extra calories. And I am unable to drink an entire bottle in one day. It is expensive too! Eating is uncomfortable, period. It is expensive to eat out AND to eat in as MOST of my meal is discarded. 99% of the time it doesn't even look like I have touched my plate, but I am finished with it and full...my dogs are thrilled to death! I believe, personal opinion, that my lack of nutrition has caused my immune system to break down....I bruise when the wind blows too hard, my healing time is AT LEAST double of the average person. Every time I turn around I have to go to another dr appt to deal with something....it's frustrating. The majority of my days are spend either in a dr office, trying to get in a dr office, or trying to force myself to eat 2 bites of SOMETHING!

I am exactly 1 year and 5 months post-op and I can't stop losing weight! Anyone else having this problem? I am scared....

I don't feel like I have an eating disorder bc I don't think I am fat, I think I am too skinny. I want to get to 130lbs! It's just a lot harder to do than one would think. But I appreciate the posting, makes me more aware of the potential negatives to the surgery. But at this point, re: the surgery, my only regret is not doing it sooner! The tricky part is the nutrition. Yes, I could eat potatoes and milkshakes, but in the long run, I am gaining only FAT (assuming I would even gain anything), and what I need is Protein for MUSCLE! I chose to swim for exercise right after surgery, I should have done power lifting! FEED YOUR MUSCLES, bc if you don't, you WILL lose them! It's the muscle that will keep the body "curvy", which helps with the excess skin.....

MOMMYOFFIVE!!!! Thank you for posting! You sound exactly like me with not caring about food AT ALL. It seems to be too much money to eat out (I am single without children) for only 4 bites, too much wasted food to cook at home (altho my dogs are loving that I did the surgery), and "forgetting" to eat happens more times than I care to admit publicly. Can you contact me privately? Not that I want to keep secrets from the others, but it feels so good to hear that SOMEONE ELSE is having the same struggles...maybe we could be accountability partners?

I also had periods of time here and there where I felt like I wasn't losing like other people. I am thankful for that time now. It gave my body time to catch up with my weight loss.....so don't get overly anxious about the numbers. THEY WILL DROP. I have been blessed with little to no complications, looking back. But at the time I was in rapid weight loss stages, I was critical about it. I suggest everyone take a deep breath and try to enjoy the ride. I promise, if you have the surgery, you will lose the weight! Thank you all for your suggestions. I scheduled an appt with the nutritionist for next week.

It is impossible to predict how you will change after surgery. Everyone has had different experiences. When I made that statement, I was addressing my exact journey. I had strange eating habits prior to surgery, for example, I had never eaten a singe bite of fish/seafood prior to surgery. Now I am having to learn how to eat it....wish I would have taken the time to address that before surgery so I would already know what fish I do/don't like. Saved myself some time, money, and frustration. That is just one example specific to me. That's what I meant by that.....

OMW!! I don't think I was eating that many calories EVER! Scary, but thanks for the info!! Not sure what to google, but I'll try!

Thanks for the input. I started at 228lbs. I struggled to maintain 121lbs and did it for 2 months....then I had dental surgery and was unable to eat for 3 days, only fluids bc I couldn't open my mouth. 3 days ago I weighed 115 (still not able to eat normally). So I ended up losing about one pound per day. It is WORK to maintain weight! When they say your life will change, you really have NO IDEA how much it will change until you are living it. No one could have completely prepared me for the journey. That being said, I would do the surgery again, but would have done things differently had I known THEN what I know now. I have been lucky with no complications at all, until now. I am starting to be concerned since I am so small now (size 2). No room for error. I don't want to be sick! I have my blood drawn every 3 months and everything checks out fine.....so far. Just wondering since I have not once read a post about someone in my position.